Book 2 Chapter 19: A way out

“Where are we going?” Joan asked, her eyes nervously looking around. Everything seemed to be getting darker and colder, the flora fading away in the gloom. Despite that, she and the Nameless One were as easy to see as if they were in daylight. Aside from the latter’s distorted form.

“Nowhere. Everywhere. Anywhere,” the Nameless One said before stopping. “I’ve watched you for a long while, Joan. Across so very many lifetimes. One of Fate’s little tools,” they said before moving a hand up. “I never imagined that another such opportunity would come for me to play with you.”

Suddenly millions, possibly billions, of little silver strands of thread seemed to materialize overhead. It took her a moment to realize what it was she was seeing. They were so much like the threads she could, vaguely, remember seeing so long ago. The same threads that the Three Sisters had shown her. They were growing, though. Intersecting and forming paths together.

Except for one. One of the threads had become a bundle that was a horrible, terrible knot. It looked like it was a thousand threads all mixed together. While most of the other threads were in good shape, the threads from this bundle was frayed and torn. Worse, the longer she stared at it, the more she realized that not all the threads in it were the same. “What is that?” Joan asked softly.

“It’s you. I imagine you can’t see it all though, can you?” the Nameless One asked. “Here, allow me.”

A moment later all of the threads changed colors. Some were red, brown, blue, green, gold, white, black. Threads of all colors were mixed in with her strange, silver threads. She looked up and down through the rows, but all of the threads, aside from hers, were one of those seven colors.

Except two. “What are those?” she asked gently. A very thin, gray thread was interwoven with her own, as was a purple thread. All of the threads looked torn and damaged.

“There we go. You never saw this, did you?” the Nameless One asked.

“What are those?” Joan asked again, struggling to keep the panic out of her voice.

“You should know. You’re no fool, Hero.”

Joan gulped and stared at the purple threads for a moment before shaking her head. “That’s the Inferno God, isn’t it?”

“Very good.”

Her eyes were drawn to the gray one. While the purple only intersected at times, the gray one seemed to run almost along the bundle constantly. However, when the silver thread broke free of the bundle, neither the gray nor purple one were with it. Was that where she was now? “The gray one is the Demon Lord.”

The Nameless One only laughed.

However, her eyes widened and she felt a surge of excitement. Those threads weren’t interwoven with hers now. “They aren’t touching mine now. That means I can break this--”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” the Nameless One said, cutting her off. “It means you’ve already failed.”

“Huh?” Joan asked, turning to look at the fae. “But they aren’t able to interfere with me then. They--”

“You really are so unaware of your own insignificance, aren’t you?” the fae asked with a shake of their head. “It’s not that they can’t stop you, child. It’s that you can’t stop them. The blessings you had, that made you a hero, are gone. You’re no longer a threat. You’ve failed and you’ll keep failing. Take a closer look at your thread.”

Joan frowned and did so, looking to where it came out from the bundle. However, the further along it went, the less silver it became before it was beginning to turn a light, golden color. “Wait. What does that mean? I--”

“It means you’re no longer a hero, child,” the Nameless One said, turning their back to her and motioning up along the threads. “It means when you fail, you don’t come back. It means you’re nothing more than a child. No more second chances. No more attempts. No more power. No more might. The hero you once were is gone forever.”

“That’s impossible,” Joan said, her legs giving out beneath her and her sword finally falling from her hands. “I’m not just a swordsman, I can do magic and—”

“You can also shoot a bow, ride a horse, fight with staff, club, hammer and spear. Did you really think that just because you swung a piece of sharp metal around that meant you could never do anything but that?” the Nameless One asked, turning around to face her and giving an almost malevolent smile. “You already knew how, even if you are drawn to one over the other.”

Joan stared at the threads. Was this truly her first and only attempt to set things right? “I don’t understand. Why show me this?” she asked softly.

“Because now I can,” the Nameless One said before they walked to her, pointing to the threads. “You were blessed, child. Bound to your world in a way that even I could never hope to touch. But now?” The fae reached out and plucked the end of the string. “Now you’re just another person. No blessings of the gods. No protections. You have amazing talent and knowledge, but what good will that do you when you face impossible monsters and unstoppable beasts? All it does is tell you what’s coming. You know how this story plays out. You know that, in the end, you lose. The only thing that could even hope to stop it is now gone forever. You gave it up for a chance that was hopeless from the beginning.”

Joan stared at the thread and tried, desperately, not to scream. It couldn’t be gone. There couldn’t be no hope. There had to be more to this. “If you could, would you have shown me this when I was the Hero?” she asked.

“No. There’s rules, hero. There are those I couldn’t affect then, but now you’re no longer one of them. Besides, I know why you’re here,” the Nameless One said before offering a hand. “You desire for us to stall the demons. Do you not?”

Joan nodded slowly. “Yes. Just so we can--”

“We cannot.”

“What?” Joan asked, her eyes going wide. “But you--”

“A pact has already been made, one far older than even you could likely imagine. We cannot interfere in this war.”

“But you’ve helped us against the Inferno God!”

“The Inferno God is not part of this war.”

Joan froze, her eyes going wide. “Wait, what? But the Demon Lord is one of his followers.”

“Indeed,” the Nameless One said.

“But the Inferno God is not part of this war?”

There it was again, that smile. The fae merely nodded.

Joan opened her mouth but stopped before she could object. Finally, she gave a sigh. “It’s a loophole, isn’t it? Even if you can’t fight the demons directly, you can help against things they are using?”

The smile only grew, but the Nameless One didn’t answer.

“Then you should know what I want. The key to--” Joan was cut off by a finger pushed to her lips.

“Now, before that, I have something else to offer you,” the fae said in a soothing tone.

“Something else? What could possibly compare to our chance to defeat the Inferno God?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Your freedom,” the Nameless One said.

Then, suddenly, the threads disappeared and a strange portal appeared on Joan’s right, making her jump. She peered into it and saw a city surrounded by a great wall. She tried to identify it but, try as she might, she couldn’t recognize it in the slightest. She turned back to them a moment later. “How is that my freedom? Where is that?”

“Your world is all but doomed, is it not?” the Nameless One asked. “Either by the Inferno God or the Demon Lord, does it really make a difference? We may be connected to your world, but we are not a part of it. There are other worlds that are not so doomed.”

Joan’s eyes widened and she turned back to the castle. “It’s another world?”

“A brand new world. One untouched by the Demon Lord, the Inferno God, one that doesn’t have all these dreadful threats and dangers. One where they don’t have any chosen. A world where you could be a hero. A talented young individual who isn’t held back by the inferiority of her form. Most important of all, you would be free from this world. No more responsibility. No more hopelessness. No more impossibilities. No longer would you be surrounded by those who you could never hope to match or surpass. The only thing that would stand between you and success would be your own dedication.”

Joan stared at the castle, her heart pounding in her chest so hard it hurt almost as much as her head. “Why give this to me? What do you want from me?”

“The cost is simple,” the Nameless One said. “The Hero is no more, but the boons he earned must be repaid. Even if you are no longer him, you can settle them. As payment for all past debts, I will set you free from this fighting, from this war, from all of these struggles. You can give up on this eternal, endless battle and finally live for a change. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the fae asked before walking behind her and gently putting their hands on her shoulders.

Joan stared at the portal, unable to take her eyes off it no matter how hard she tried. Freedom. No more fighting. She could live a life without constantly feeling as if she was being torn in a thousand different directions. The others could earn their own boon and get all they needed themselves. Searle had the book. Besides, if they were all doomed anyway, what did it matter?

“I’m doomed to fail again, aren’t I? If I stay?” Joan asked.

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“Certainly,” the Nameless One said.

“Can you swear that?” Joan asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Can you vow that, if I stay, if I try to fix things, that there is no chance I can fix this?”

The Nameless One didn’t respond, though she felt those hands tighten on her shoulders. “You have failed so often, do you really think you’ll succeed?”

Joan shook her head. “No, I don’t,” she said softly. “But there’s still a chance. You can’t guarantee my failure, can you?”

The hands pulled off her shoulders and the fae gave a soft, exasperated sigh. “No, I cannot. But that doesn’t mean you won’t fail, child. You will only get this offer once. Say no and you will never escape this fate. There won’t be a second meeting between us.”

Joan stared at the portal, mentally screaming at herself. She might have a chance. Maybe. Even this fae didn’t know. Fate itself likely didn’t know. But she had already made so many mistakes. What if things could go better without her? She left Searle the book and key. He could use her knowledge. “I know everything now, though. I--”

“Oh you child,” the Nameless One said with a light shake of its head. “You know nothing. You’ve seen only half the pieces on the board and you, somehow, think you understand how the game is played.” The fae’s hand reached out and forced her head up to look into their eyes. “I can feel the web wrapped around your mind, a mortal mind that is hindered and torn by that it doesn’t even know exists. Yet you really think you know anything? You are but a rabbit that has climbed a hill and believes that it has now seen all the world has to offer.”

Joan’s mouth went dry and, very slowly, she shook her head as best she could in the fae’s grip.

“Do you really think you have any real chance of winning?” they asked before letting her go.

Joan lowered her eyes. Did she have a chance? Maybe. Hopefully. She wished. She wanted so desperately to believe she did. But what if she didn’t? What if, just like all the past times, she failed and everything went wrong? She glanced to her arm that had only recently been shattered and then fixed. Felt her throbbing head. Her sore muscles. Her exhaustion. How much more pain did she had to go through? How many more times would she have to stand on death’s door just for a tiny chance to survive? She’d tried a thousand times to save the world, changing everything she could. Died a thousand times in painful, gruesome, violent manners. Didn’t she deserve a chance to be happy and live a long life? One that didn’t have to be spent protecting the world? Try as she might, even if she did succeed she’d probably die before she even had a chance to experience that relief of success.

Even if the Inferno God was stopped, what happened? She would be here. An orphan without a purpose. Forever in the shadows of the chosen. Once the queen found out who she was, she might even be executed for that alone. Even if she survived all of that, the war was going so terribly and there was no telling if they might be overwhelmed by the demons even if they stopped this threat.

Joan fell forward and rested her forehead on the dark floor, trying to to deal with all of it. This offer was, possibly, the best offer she’d ever get. She should take it. In the end, it might not even be for the worst. There was no reason for her to really trust that her remaining would help any. For all she knew, her existence just made things worse.

But despite herself, she doubted that.

This was a chance unlike any other. She wanted so desperately to take it. Freedom from this fear, this doubt. From the failure. How often had she wanted to escape this just in this week alone? It was an opportunity she might never get again. All she’d have to do is abandon everyone.

As desperately as Joan wanted to take that step, she couldn’t. No matter how badly she wanted free, she couldn’t leave it all behind. Even if she wanted her freedom, she didn’t want it at the expense of everyone else. “I can’t do it.”

“You can, so easily. All you have to do is walk through that portal,” the Nameless One said in a soft, soothing voice.

“I can’t. I’ve died a thousand times for this world. What’s a thousand and one?” Joan asked, trying to put on a smile before looking up at them, though it was so weak she doubted they could even see it.

The Nameless One sighed and shook their head. “Very well then, hero. Then I will, instead, grant you the boon you desire. In fact I am feeling quite generous. If you really do desire to throw your life away at this minuscule chance, I will at least support such a foolish gamble. As this will be our final meeting, I will even send you where ever it is you and your companions wish.”

Joan’s eyes went wide. “You mean even back to the capital?” she asked, the excitement filling her voice. An opportunity to bypass the front lines would make the trip far safer.

“Of course, if that’s where you wish to go,” the Nameless One said with a small, amused grin.

“Yes!” Joan said, unable to stop her excitement. Though, that still left the queen. “Or perhaps somewhere near there.” She had been to Hardwin’s home a number of times, it would be the ideal location. She hoped.

“Although, there is somewhere else I could send you. You are still searching for all of the chosen, are you not?” the Nameless One asked.

“Yes,” Joan said.

“Very well. How about that? I can deliver you directly to them. A rather generous boon, wouldn’t you say?” the Nameless One asked.

Joan couldn’t help herself, she almost agreed to it instantly. However, this was one of the fae. There was no way it was that easy. “What’s the catch?”

“Catch? I merely want to help you on your quest. Is that so strange? After all, even if you have no real chance of success, I would hate to find out this is to be my last encounter with that world of yours. Especially if there is something I can do to help it before its end.”

Joan licked her lips and tried to consider that option, looking for the trap that she was certain was there. “You don’t mean Korgron, do you?”

“Of course not,” the Nameless One said before reaching out. The threads appeared once more and they motioned towards a string that was entirely black. “I mean this one. You’re fated to meet, are you not?”

Joan nodded slowly. “Andreas,” she whispered. The Chosen of the Polearm. Her eyes wandered over his string, looking at all of the ones it connected to. Her eyes narrowed slightly when she realized some of the threads it had touched and woven with were also ones that had touched her own. Most importantly, it had intersected with a dazzling golden thread for a while, before the two promptly separated. At which point the golden string had connected with the purple and gray thread. If she was correct, that golden string was Korgron. Andreas and Korgron had never met before meeting the Hero in their prior lives, so how was it that here they had?

Or was it something else entirely? Their lives interacted with so many different threads, the threads she assumed were the chosen were all brilliant and wondrous in their colors, but even so she couldn’t be entirely sure they were who she thought they were. Was it possible that those brilliant threads were something else entirely?

But if they had met and connected, perhaps it was part of the reason that Korgron was with the Demon Lord now. It was another chance for answers. “Yes, please.”

“Very well then, as payment for--”

“Hold on!” Joan said, quickly raising her hand. “That’s not all.”

“Oh?” the Nameless One asked, staring at her. “You certainly are a greedy one. You desire more?”

“There are multiple reasons I came here,” Joan said carefully. “You can’t help us against the demons, correct?”

“We cannot.”

“Can you negotiate with the Changeling Patriarch on our behalf? So we can--”

“That we cannot do either,” the Nameless One said with a small shake of their head. “Though I do find it amusing that you of all people would ask that.”

“What? Why?” Joan asked.

The Nameless One only smiled at her.

Joan felt her headache only growing worse, though now she wasn’t entirely sure it was because of the damage that Bauteut had found or just dealing with the fae. “You’re not going to tell me anything that’ll really help, are you? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer. There’s one more thing I came here for.”

“The key?” the Nameless One asked. “Let me guess, you’d like it to be given to Searle, no? Very--”

“No,” Joan said, shaking her head. “They’re going to need Searle then and if he has the key, then he’ll need to wait behind.”

The Nameless One paused and stared at her for a long moment, in fact if she didn’t know better she would have sworn the entire world had stopped in place while he stared. Finally he gave a low laugh. “I see. Is this why you refused to go? Are you so eager for death that--”

“I won’t die,” Joan said quickly. “I already have a plan for when that time comes.”

“You believe you can survive whatever comes? Even the chosen fell before it.”

“That was then and this is now,” Joan said. “I know what I have to do. Last time it was a surprise and we didn’t know what was in store for us. This time I know all about the trap, I know what happens the moment the door is opened. Most importantly, I know what is needed in the temple. If all of the chosen go, they can do it. As terrifying as the Avatar is, I’ll be ready for it when the time comes.”

“You truly believe you can do this without making sacrifices?” the Nameless One asked.

“They’ve all died because of me. The least I can do is ensure that, this time, they all live,” Joan said with a small shrug.

“And after that?”

“Not a clue,” Joan said with a soft sigh. “But I know that the chosen can’t take the key. Someone else has to hold the line for them and when the Inferno God’s minions come running, well… nobody has a better chance of running from them than I. Compared to how many of them I’ve had to kill in the past, fleeing from them will probably be easy.”

“Mmm hmm.”

Joan paused and stared at the fae for a long moment. “I don’t suppose you could do anything about this headache or whatever it is going on with my mind that’s making me unable to, well, focus on things?”

The Nameless One gave a small nod. “The headache, yes. One moment,” they said before snapping their fingers. Just like that, the headache was gone entirely. “And our business is done here. Good luck with your attempt at suicide, hero. Oh, right, the key. Do you know the deal?”

Joan gave a small nod. “Yes. Once its magic is spent, it will return to this realm. Until then we may do with it as we please. I do know that opening the door will expend all the power it can hold.”

The Nameless One cocked their head to the side. “I see. That’s all you know?”

Joan paused and felt that growing unease inside her once more. “Yes? That was all they required. Once we earned a boon we--” She paused for a moment and felt that unease only growing. “I never earned a boon.”

“Didn’t you?” the Nameless One asked.

“I didn’t. There wasn’t any challenge, any puzzle. No gambles or wagers. When I came here as the Hero I met one of the rulers of the area and they gave me the key after the challenge. But I never finished a challenge this time, did I? All I did was call out Vanillamist.”

“Is that not worthy of a boon?” the Nameless One asked.

“The portal too. You offered me a way out, said that they’d be okay. That they could still have the key. That’s two boons,” Joan said, her mind racing. Without the headache, it felt almost easy. “And the headache, is that a boon?”

To her surprise, the Nameless One looked almost uncomfortable now. “Do you desire the key or not? You--”

“You know I’m the Hero,” Joan said softly, staring up at them.

“Of course. I--”

“How many boons did you owe the Hero? Do you owe me?”

The look of annoyance on the fae’s face filled her with a rush of excitement and delight when she realized she had guessed right. She knew the fae was being far too generous.

That excitement quickly died when the annoyance turned to anger and the fae’s hand was suddenly out, gripping her under the chin and pulling her, roughly, to her feet. “Oh, sweet little hero,” the Nameless One said in a tone that had shifted from strange beauty to an icy, merciless firmness. “You always did like to pry and poke, didn’t you? Congratulations, you win. Do you feel better now?”

Joan gave a soft whimper and couldn’t deny it. She didn’t feel at all like she had won.