Chapter 38: am I dreaming?

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I stumbled behind him a few steps until I stopped and pulled my arm away once again. „No, thank you. I think I'm going to wait until Jacob is ready with his shift.". My heart was pounding like crazy.

No one else seemed to be around. Just a regular parking lot with a lot of streetlights and cigarette vending machines.

„Come on, Hyeona. You don't need to be scared of me.". He walked a few steps closer, which made me back away automatically.

I shook my hands in front of my body dismissively. "Really, I'll be fine! I'm going to go back inside now because I'm feeling very cold.".

But all of a sudden his features changed abruptly, and he took big threatening steps towards me. "You're coming with me now!".

I stumbled back in shock as Conrad tried to grab any part of my body, whether it was clothing or not. But fortunately I reacted quickly and he narrowly missed me.

My back suddenly bumped against something hard, which, however, gave way slightly and a pair of hands gripping around my waist in the next second. At this moment, the cinema door was torn open from the inside and Jacob rushed out in anger.

„What the fuck Conrad. Leave her alone!", he yelled.

„HEESEUNG?", My shrill voice shut the other two boys as I turned my head to face the person who was practically hugging me from behind.

In disbelief, I turned around quickly and backed away a few steps. There's no way he would be actually standing in front of me in this second?

„Heeseung?", repeated Jacob in confusion, which scooted me a closer back to reality. He was indeed standing two steps away, and I wasn't seeing ghosts.

„Who is this guy?", Conrad nodded angrily towards the two of us.

But Jacob's patience had run out. „Get the fuck off! You fucked up, don't you get it?".

I didn't listen to their conversation at all, completely blending out my surroundings. He tilted is head with a slight smile, when I couldn't help but rush towards him. My sudden tight hug almost knocked him over and we struggled to find our balance again.

„Hey.". I heard his voice the first time in months. „Fucking shit, what are you doing here?".

He wasn't able to answer. The happiness is his veins made him reach euphoria.

In the reflection of the glass of the building I could see Condrad turning around and stomping back to his car from which we had come. After a few seconds, we detached, as I realized Jacob was still standing next to us, watching around in space to avoid making the situation more awkward than it already was.

„Oh my god. I'm sorry. Jacob...this is Heeseung.", I introduced the Korean guy. „Heeseung. Jacob.".

„Jacob? Like your ex Jacob?", Heeseung stared at me in shock.

„This is kinda a long story.", I rubbed my arm, which made him frown.

Jacob cleared his throat, making both of us stare at him. „I think I'm getting back to work. There's still a lot of stuff to do.", he smiled at me, while heading back inside.

Slowly, I turned back to Heeseung, who was facing the door Jacob disappeared into. „I still can't believe you're here? Lik,e how is this possible?".

He started walking with his hands buried in the jacket of his coat, and I followed him with a slight distance.

„Jay is actually meeting some relatives in Seattle at the moment. So I thought I come along to see you.".

Why did he still want to see me after all that had happened?

„I was so confused and overwhelmed when I read your message earlier, but I couldn't reply since I was stuck in the theater with this idiot.".

„What was he even trying to do, though? Is he your boyfriend?", he asked.

I never reacted that quickly in my life before „NO! No, he's just a guy I met at a party. But I think he had wrong intentions", I chewed on my tongue. „How did you know where I was?".

Heeseung tapped his phone. „Snapchat location exists, you know.". He laughed and I followed along.

„Ah right. I kinda forgot about this. I'm not really using Snapchat here.". I explained to him.

„So, that's why you didn't see all the videos I sent you the past 4 months.".

In disbelief, I reached for my cell phone. „No way? Gosh, I'm so sorry.". I whined and tried to open the app, but Heeseung quickly grabbed my scurrying hand. „Don't check them now! They are kinda...".

"Kinda what?", I queried further, which seemed to trigger a soft spot in him.

He lowered his head, causing his chin and mouth to completely disappear in the collar of his coat. "We aren't dating anymore.".

This realization hit me hard. But he was right. We weren't a couple anymore, so we should stop behaving like one. Wordlessly, I let my phone slip back into my pocket and, we continued to walked silently for a while.

"I hope you don't mind that I visited you here at the theater. I was worried that I would kinda walk in on you when I showed up so unplanned," he admitted.

"No, no. Don't worry about it," I tried to reassure him. "I mean, I'm still shocked. But in a positive way. I'm happy to finally see you again.".

"It's been 4 months.".

I adjusted the zipper on my jacket. "Yeah...".

"And how long are you planning to stay? I mean you and Jay?", I asked.".

"Maybe one week. A little bit longer...", he shrugged. I don't know yet. But we are planning to be back for Sunghoons birthday.".

I nodded thoughtfully. "And you said Jay is visiting some relatives in Seattle. It's about two and a half hours away. How did you get here? Like with the bus?".

"I rent a car, and booked a hotel for a few days, before travelling back to Seattle. We agreed to stay at Jay's aunt's house the last days before flying home.

„That's not a long time.", I muttered to myself, feeling dejected in the second.

„Yeah I know.", Heeseung answered with his hands buried in his coat. „That's why I wanna spent as much time as possible with you here.".

A sad smile flitted across my face. Even though I've been trying to convince myself and have been able to suppress it well for the last few weeks, I'm still not completely over Heeseung. Whenever I see him, his positive nature sends euphoria through my body, and I feel as nervous as if I were giving a presentation in front of thousands of people. On the other hand, his presence relaxes me. There are hardly any situations in which Heeseung does not react mature and calm.

I wish this way could rub off a little on my nervous and insecure self. But above all, I knew one thing. I can trust him. No matter what I would confide in him, it would never leave his mouth as long as it was not a matter of life and death. Probably all these things were the reason I fell for him at that time.

However, a gray spot lit up in my memory. His birthday party. The blonde girl. The demanding sparkle in his eyes. As if he would drop everything and anyone just to get her. Even though I tried to push this memory out of my mind...it was still there.

I know, I basically told him to go on dates with other girls, but it wasn't the way I thought it would be. It hurt like hell. My heart broke in 100 pieces. That's not what I want anymore. I don't want him to be with other girls and start dating other girls. My jealousy can't handle that.

But I don't want to start dating him again, either. That would only make the complete cycle start all over again.

My stupid head, I couldn't even say myself what I really want.

„Can we go back to the theater?", I asked, which made him stop in confusion.

„What's wrong?". He asked, as he slowly followed me all the way back.

„You shouldn't have come.", these words left my lips in pain. „Like, come to see me.".

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