Chapter 19: XVIII.

. . .

The last period of the day was spent in Chemistry with Hibiki, and, while I didn’t really mind being with him anymore, I still held a small grudge for what he said to me earlier. I managed to say, “I’m feeling a little guilty…” I lied. To be fair, I was feeling guilty, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t canceling, there wasn’t any possible way I was canceling. Not now, and not ever. “I mean, Diana’s been outed and I’m not doing anything in my power to help her.”

Hibiki sighed, “King, it doesn’t matter. She’ll be done with school within a year, then it won’t matter.” Hibiki said the exact same thing I was thinking.

“That’s true… I didn’t think about it like that…” I responded, continuing my dishonest streak. “I guess Diana will be fine.” It had always been about her.

I gazed my direction to the front of the room where the teacher was sitting, then I spoke to Hibiki, “Can we skip…? I mean, hell, I need to talk to some people about stuff for preparations…”

Hibiki looked at me, his eyes widening a bit, “Oh, yeah, of course.” He raised his hand and then asked if he and I could go fetch something we forgot in the cafeteria, which of course was a lie. I guess we both are pretty decent at lying.

Hibiki and I both got up and left the room, entering the empty, desolate hallways of Hojimi High. I turned to Hibiki and smiled, “I want to talk to Rich.”

He went blank and completely still, he managed to let out, “After what happened at lunch…?” His tone was utterly speechless. I couldn’t read him very well, but I knew that he was, in fact, confused.

I nodded, “Well, you did say you were going to invite him, correct?” I asked, ensuring I was being analytical here. I knew what I needed to say to him.

Hibiki nodded in response. He pulled out his phone, texting Rich to meet us in the bathroom. He was the only one I genuinely wanted to hold a conversation with.

“Thanks,” I responded. I glanced into his eyes as he stared back into mine for a moment. I never realized that he wasn’t… terrible to look at, regardless of the fact that he’s a ginger.

“...so, well… Why exactly do you still want to talk to him?” Hibiki questioned, his fingers still tapping on his phone screen.

I inhaled some of the air around me, taking note of the fact that it wasn’t very pure. “...uhm…” I let out, honestly. “...I mean, well… I just… if you’re inviting him, I’d rather get to know him more…!”

Hibiki groaned. “The fact that he’s a douchebag?”

“Bingo! We can use some of those!”

Hibiki let out a huff before tapping away more, his fingers moving quickly in rhythm with each other, not bothering to glance up at me as I stood there awkwardly, just watching and waiting. “...whatever you say…”

“...how many people have you invited?” I asked him. His face flushed a little bit before he glanced at me.

“...20, well… 14,” he responded. His face got even redder. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked into his eyes.

“...I have met… barely anybody. Please, tell me who these people are,” I inquired.

“That’ll take too long.”

“And it’ll take too long for Diana and I to pick up the mess these people make.”

“What is your fucking problem?”

I groaned as my eyes squinted. I exhaled a huff before chuckling lightly, “My problem? I don’t have a problem.”

“Clearly you do since you act so ‘self-entitled’ because you have a bunch of money.”

I scoffed, “Self-entitled? Really? That’s the best you’ve got on me? I don’t act self-entitled, Hibiki. Sure, I’ve got a shit load of money to last me my entire life, but I don’t act self-entitled because of the money. I don’t act self-entitled at all.”

“You’re acting self-entitled right now.” He rolled his eyes as he spoke once more, “You can’t be extremely wealthy and not let it get to your head, King.”

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I inhaled before swallowing the saliva that had been building up in my mouth. The look I had been giving Hibiki was one of remorse, but not anymore, it had changed to one of absolute disgust. I chuckled, almost in a mocking tone before speaking once more to the little shit that stood beneath me. “And you have the fucking audacity to ask me what my problem is? You're a popular, Hibiki. And don’t think I haven’t already picked up on your…” I checked my nails in a feminine way, to mock him, and glanced back into his eyes, peering down at him, letting him know who had the authority over him. “...habits.”

He swallowed before letting out in exasperated gasp, as if I had been disowning him, as if I had no place to do that. “I’m the one giving you this shit,” he spat out from the interior of his mouth, his teeth closing the bridge between what would be the inner workings of Hibiki Kaiyo. “Don’t think for one fucking second that I wouldn’t take it away.”

Still peering down at him, as if he were the leech at my shoe, I smirked, before grinning, showing him my teeth, widening my eyes slightly, ensuring that I, in fact, looked just ever-so-slightly uncanny. “Do you want me to specify what I mean by habits, Hibiki? Would you, let’s say, entertain me by informing me about what you would like me to do with the information I have… retained about you?” I scoffed. “Your threats are about as dry and compelling as a seven-day old cake-”

It was the expression that came next that told me he was certain that it would be possible for him to… attempt to shit on me again.

“-but would you prefer if I were… well, let’s just… tell everyone what I can infer.”

“They already know.”

My grin got even wider, I shook my head as I let out, “No, they don’t. You wouldn’t be the most popular guy in the school then.”

“Diana’s the most popular girl,” he rebutted. “She’s a lesbian.”

I smirked even wider, “Because some douchebags are into that. You haven’t thought about that one have you? Oh, wait, that’s right. You can’t be into that. Faggot.”

He quickly inhaled then exhaled, “You wouldn’t go there, you wouldn’t.”

“You’ve known me for a day, Hibiki. You don’t know what lines I would or wouldn’t cross.” I chuckled, “What exactly is it that you see in me? You clearly want me to be popular.”

He gulped, swallowing his build-up of spit, then he spoke, sheepishly, “I think everyone deserves a chance. Maybe that’s just because I can slightly understand what you’re going through.”

My breathing remained steady, “How?”

He was still looking up at me, his eyes had a hint of pleading in them, a hint of… submissiveness. “...I… I mean, I-” He sighed, “...okay, you’re right. I’m gay, I’ve always been gay. I have a crush on a guy, and I think he’s fucking adorable. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He inhaled, without any hint of steadiness, his tone was more feminine, his voice letting out its true nature. The usual deep, gruff Hibiki had been replaced with a high-pitched one, a feminine one. “You’re gay too. That’s why I understand.”

“You don’t understand. You’re oppressed by the very people you stand close with.”

“...I’m…” He started. “...I’m not oppressed just…”

I interrupted, “Rich would murder you if he knew. The people around you may all be queer as well, but even if it’s just one person, you know it isn’t safe.” I sighed, lightening myself, easing my expression. “...Diana knew it wasn’t safe. That’s why she transitioned before coming here, as much as she could. But even that wasn’t enough.”

Hibiki’s silence was deafening. It was so deafening, that I genuinely began to feel bad for him. But I couldn’t feel bad for him, not right now. Not when I was just showing him up, telling him the cold hard truth of the reality bestowed upon the both of us. He sniffled slightly, but no tears came out of his eyes.

Men aren’t supposed to cry. Men are supposed to be masculine, they’re supposed to show no emotion and stay tough.

“You’re oppressed, Hibiki. It just depends if you can open your fucking eyes and realize that, or if you’d rather let the popularity in this very school consume you, even after you graduate.”

His breaths were a constant reminder of the fact that I was, indeed, slowly, but very much surely, being placed in the exact same position as he was. I just wasn’t going to admit that.

I’m better than him. He said it himself, I have money. I can act that way. I’m supposed to be that way. So if he’s going to let me become popular, you know sure as hell I will be putting myself in front of others.

It’s living proof I’m better than him, that I’m better than Diana.

The Aoki family, even if I haven’t taken on their last name, is, in fact, without a doubt in my mind about it, superior in every aspect of life; better than everyone else.