Athena
I knew attachment was a bad thing.
It made me think that, maybe, I shouldn't have been roommates with Owen in the first place. Maybe things would've been better if I lived somewhere else at uni, or maybe, things would've been better if I didn't choose to go to the same university.
We had been so close during our last years of high school, I was foolish to think that we'd be together in college. I believed we were kindred spirits who balanced each other out.
I guess I was wrong.
Owen and I had been so dependent on each other's presence, maybe it was what broke us. After all, the world doesn't revolve around a single person. There are countless of things I can focus on, and for once, I kinda felt bad that, in some way, I felt a little more at ease.
It was weird.
First was the storm, then now, the unsettling calm. I was terrified of it and what might become of it in the next few days, or months, or maybe, even years. I don't know. Time will tell, I guess.
In two days, I would drive back to uni. My aunt kept insisting that she should come along with me but I declined every time. I really do think I really need to be by myself these days. I was starting to enjoy the quiet. Maybe that's why Owen likes it so much.
It was night time today, and I was finishing yet another season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine in the kitchen with some cheesecake my aunt got the other day. It was good.
A little bit after 9pm, our doorbell rang and I was contemplating whether to answer it or not. It was starting to get late. And I still had a season to go.
I was a little bit annoyed when the doorbell rang again. Fearing my aunt would wake up since she does sleep pretty early, I hesitantly paused the episode and grudgingly walked towards the door. I opened it, and I immediately didn't know what to think of.
"Ready?" Elliot asked as he rang the doorbell again with a big, cheesy smile on his face. His hair was now buzzed, long gone are his silky, dark brown locks. His natural blonde was showing.
Elliot had on a thick, black jacket as he stood out my house. I, on the other hand, was in my lavender sweats, all ready to sleep. I looked at him suspiciously and narrowed by eyes at him.
"What the hell is this about?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as I stepped out a bit into the cold, gray weather and looked into the dead of night. The snow was still and unmoving on our small front yard with the sky blank of stars.
Elliot looked unfazed at my annoyance. He seemed calm and collected, making me very confused.
"No questions. Just, wear something warm. We're going out." He said as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and looked around.
"Why?" I asked.
"No questions." he emphasized, looking at me seriously until he broke off and chuckled.
Weird.
"Fine. Give me a few minutes." I said, shooting him a quick glare before I turned around and walked quietly toward my room. I crept up the stairs slowly to make sure Aunt Lydia stays asleep.
I quickly put on a maroon coat, fuzzy socks and a random pair of chunky sneakers I have before I got out again to meet Elliot standing by our door. I slowly got out of the house, quiet enough not to wake my aunt because god knows what in the world she might think of once she sees me and Elliot outside.
I was still annoyed at him for showing up in the middle of my Netflix binge.
"Are you out of your mind?" I whispered to him as I slowly shut my front door as quietly as possible.
"Nope." he said in a snap with a crooked grin as he turned and started walking towards his car. I simply followed him and groaned.
"Why are we going out? Tonight? Elliot, it's cold." I said, getting into the passenger seat of his car, with him as the driver.
"That's why I told you to wear something warm, didn't I?" he said, grinning sheepishly as he took out his keys from his pocket and shoved them in.
"Yeah, but-"
He sighed.
"Athena, trust me. You're gonna like this, I promise." he said, in probably the most sincerest way I've ever seen him talk.
I took a deep breath and shuffled in my seat.
"Alright." I said.
Elliot smiled and nodded.
As soon as he started the car and started driving, I sat in the passenger's seat with my eyes fixated on the slight buildup of white ice on his car window. I couldn't stop staring at them, analyzing the smaller details such as the intricate lines and unusual patterns they have.
Ice always reminds me of Owen. I don't know why but I always compared his initial demeanor to some cold, ice prince. Even his eyes are icy cold. His hands are pretty cold too, without his gloves.
I shook my head quickly and shut my eyes for a moment. I didn't want to remember how his mere presence made me feel. It hurt me.
I turned away from the car window and instead, faced front toward the road. Weirdly, it was familiar. It was a road I always used to drive through before and sometimes, rode the bus to.
Here, there was no trace or memory of Owen.
I never invited him here anyway, even to junior and senior prom. I went to one of his instead.
"Why are we going back to school?" I asked Elliot, as we drove up the steep hill going to our school.
It had been that exclusive. I didn't like it that much, though. People were insanely rich and the place was similar to one of those elite, English boarding schools. I would've liked to go to a regular, public one but I got a scholarship here years ago. I wouldn't want it to go to waste.
"Because, we are?" he said, as a matter of fact, side-eyeing me as he focused on driving.
"Elliot, be serious. What in the world could we be doing in the middle of the night? In our high school? Don't tell me we're gonna vandalize it." I asked, suddenly realizing the internalized fear I bottled up.
He scoffed.
"You're such a goody two shoes. We're not vandalizing anything. We're just gonna visit and leave after a few. It'll be quick, don't worry." he said reassuringly.
I looked at him with a deadpan expression.
"If I die today,"
Elliot choked on a laugh and smiled widely, turning to me.
"Thena, no one's dying. Live a little. This thing we're gonna do on school grounds, this, will give you a much needed boost of serotonin after that break up." he said nonchalantly as he turned his eyes again toward the road.
We were almost near the entrance now. After a few more minutes, we would be right around the top.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
I was insanely confused.
This was totally unlike him. From what I know, he's rude, cocky, and feels entitled to everything. Who the hell was this?
He smiled.
"No reason. Just returning the favor, that's all. You did, in fact, try really hard to get rid of me and help me with stuff. Thanks, though. I appreciate it." he said knowingly.
As soon as we pulled up in front of the school's big, metal gate, Elliot immediately put up a hand to tell me to stay inside the car as he went out.
He walked up to the gate, took out a set of keys again from his pocket, and unlocked the gate. He pushed them open and after they were distantly separated enough for the car to pass through, Elliot quickly jogged back inside. I shot him a warning look as my eyes widened at the key he used to open the gate.
"Where'd you get that? No, why do you have that?" I asked, livid at how he managed to get his hands on these.
Elliot shrugged and slowly started driving us inside campus. I still had my eyes on the set of keys he used.
"I like keeping mementos from places I've been before." he said, grinning a little to himself.
"You stole it?"
He laughed and shook his head.
"No, I duplicated it in sophomore year. I'm gonna leave it here later anyway, if that'll make you feel better."
"You're unbelievable."
Elliot drove slowly, and I stared out Elliot's car window and pulled them down until I felt the cold breeze of winter on my skin. It was not soon before our school building peered into view.
School was still the same. It was still big and rapacious as ever, the main building was still colored the same brick red which suddenly made me remember our horrible maroon uniforms were, god. I disliked them so much, I always forgot my school blazer at Owen's house or at the bookstore, which, he, in return, always gave me back the same night. I immediately felt a rush of sadness hover over me and it was just about when Elliot stopped the car and parked right along a small lake beside the main building.
It was frozen solid now.
Elliot and I got out into the cold, and we both stood there, staring at the lake, then back at our school.
I didn't think I'd be missing my actual school, but in some way, I felt longing. A wave of nostalgia hit me, and I wasn't expecting to feel such a weird connection to a place where I didn't really fit in.
"I never knew I'd be missing this place." Elliot said, as he looked at our school building, then back at me.
"Me too." I said, catching myself off-guard.
Elliot and I were both silent. We walked around the edges of the small frozen lake, hearing only the crunch of snow under our shoes.
Of course, I still kept my distance from Elliot. We were probably a foot apart now but still, I couldn't wrap my head around how he's been acting. Especially since Owen broke up with me.
This side of him, this nicer version, is so unheard of. It's totally the opposite of how he usually acts. My head started to ache a bit thinking about it.
"Why are we here?" I asked, in attempt to get rid of any other theories to why he's been acting strangely.
He shrugged.
"To talk, obviously."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.
"About what exactly?"
Elliot stopped in his tracks and turned his head toward me, his expression slightly annoyed. His brows were knit together and his eyes were narrow.
"You know how I told you I have a bitch for a stepsister?" he said bluntly.
I couldn't help but nod along and agree.
"Yeah. Maya." I said with a sarcastic chuckle.
With that, Elliot's expression softened and he grinned. We started walking again, this time, slower.
"Yes, that bitch. You're probably wondering how we're basically family since I never really told you about her." he said.
I nodded again.
He rarely talks about his family. Ever since high school, I knew he had problems with his parents, but I didn't expect them to go sideways and have another family.
"You know my mom was shitty, right? And my dad was an asshole? Yeah, so, after Dad left when the both of us were still dating, Mom got married to this rich dude from the other side of the country without even telling me. It happened about the time we kinda broke up." he said gruffly.
He sounded drained. Exhausted, even. His situation with his family made him like this and I didn't know whether to sympathize with him or not.
"So uhm, right after the wedding, Mom invited me to come with her to my stepdad's place to meet his side of the family. That's where I met Maya. Hated her the moment I saw her." he said, his expression a foul, disgusted scowl.
"I actually kinda liked her at first. She was nice." I admitted.
It was true. Maya had been nice. Although I think I came too strong as the obsessive girlfriend the first time Owen and I met her, she was still kind and understanding. I never expected her to turn out so nasty.
Elliot turned to me with a finger pointed at me and a warning look in his eye.
"That's what she wants you to think. Trust me, I was a bit close with her middle school cousins and they all told me the same thing: Maya's a bitch." he said bluntly.
I didn't expect I would laugh at that.
It was the first time I let out an actual laugh ever since I got home. And to think that out of all the people who could make me laugh, it was Elliot.
"Middle schoolers told you that?" I asked, still smiling from my extinguished laughter from earlier.
He nodded.
"Weirdly, yeah. Maya's a spoilt, man-crazy brat. She once told me that if I weren't her stepbrother, she'd date me. Straight up. Scary, fucking bitch. I can't go all Alabama on that." he said in such a deadpan manner.
I let out a laugh again. It felt good, actually.
At this point, I didn't care if I laughed in his presence. What mattered was that I had someone; someone to cheer me up, at least. Elliot succeeded.
I'd give him that.
"I'm sorry you had to go through those things with her." I said as soon as my stomach hurt from laughing too much.
He smiled a little and looked away into the solid lake.
"Yeah. That's why I left. I was stuck with a good for nothing mother, a dad who left, a stepdad who doesn't care about me, and a stepsister who literally wants to fuck me. I was so tired of all their shit, I kinda lashed it all out on you. You know, when I pushed you that day. And I'm sorry. For real this time. I promise, I won't try to convince you to take me back or whatever but please, believe me when I apologize to you. Athena, I'm sorry." he said in the most heartfelt way possible.
I stopped walking. He did too.
Weirdly, I didn't feel anger toward him anymore.
I felt, at ease. It was as if all this time I spent with him, trying to get rid of him, was a plan that succeeded in an unusual way. I did get rid of something; and that were my grudges.
I didn't want to push him into the lake. I didn't even want to kick his balls and run towards his car just to drive back home.
All the anger, fear, and frustration I had towards him, were gone.
Well, not all of them, actually. I'm still a little frustrated at how he purposely threw me off a balcony a few years ago and I was slightly annoyed at how he didn't tell me what had been going on with him before. Maybe, if he told me and I had helped him, we wouldn't be this way. But that would mean that I wouldn't have met Owen.
I immediately erased the thought of Owen and turned back to Elliot. His face was unsure and uncertain. He seemed a little awkward too, something so unlike him. I sighed and smiled at him.
"It's okay. I forgive you." I said.
Elliot immediately brightened up. His eyes grew wide and his lips formed the biggest smile I've ever seen from him. He really is genuine.
"Does this mean we're good?" he asked excitedly, jumping up and down in the snow as he unexpectedly held me by the arms and invited me to join him.
I laughed as we jumped up and down on the snow in circles as we spun around, kicking snow around until it showered over us.
"Yeah. I think we are." I said, over my loud laughter.
"YES!" He exclaimed as he pulled me into a tight hug.
I was hesitant to return it, but after seeing how happy he was, and how real and genuine he seemed, I slowly wrapped my small arms around him and sighed happily.
I have a friend back.
"Damn, I missed hugging you. You're like an oompa loompa." Elliot told me as he hugged me tighter and ruffled my hair laughingly.
"Shut up." I told him as I swatted his huge hand away from my head and punched his stomach lightly.
"Okay, sorry." he said as we retracted ourselves from the hug and now, we started walking back to his car.
Still, something felt missing.
"Elliot."
He looked at me confusingly.
"What?"
I shot my head up at him and smirked a bit. The first time since we got here.
"Weren't you saying something about doing something fun around here?" I asked with my head slightly bent to the side.
"Oh yeah. I almost forgot." he said, before he jogged off to his car to get something out of the trunk.
I jogged after him too, but slowed down as soon as Elliot went back with two pairs of skates in both of his hands.
I smiled widely as excitement slowly built up inside me.
"The lake's frozen. Wanna skate away the bad memories?" he asked as he handed me a pair that seemed to be my size.
I grabbed them and grinned wider.
"I'd like that."