Chapter 33: Chapter Twelve

ADA

I could hear his words, but I just stood there, frightened, as I watched Cayden take on three men, their bodies moving in the dark.

Two of the men fell to the ground, and I could hear one of them gasping for air. The last man was very large, which said a great deal when comparing him to Cayden.

I could see the man trying to make his way closer to me. He knocked Cayden to the ground momentarily, which gave him all the time he needed to sprint toward me.

Barely able to move, I felt my hand, grasping Egil’s sword, rise up and impale him. He stared at me in disbelief for a few seconds, and then raised his sword high in the air.

I clenched my body and prepared myself for the blow. But it never came, because in that moment Cayden had recovered himself and slit the man’s throat.

The man’s body teetered from side to side before finally falling to the ground. Cayden grabbed Egil’s sword and quickly led me to the horse. We rode the rest of the way home in silence.

When we arrived back at our farm, a slave greeted us outside. Cayden helped me down off the horse, but said nothing to me. I had said my piece, so I remained silent, consumed by my own thoughts.

“Go fetch some food and boil some hot water for Ada to wash,” Cayden said, and left me standing in front of the house.

I had no energy to follow him or ask him where he was going. I kept picturing the face of the man I had just stabbed. I walked into our empty home and pulled up a chair close to the fire.

Why did he leave? Was it true, then? Did he care so little for me? Time passed without my caring as I sat there, staring into the flames. Cayden was done with me. And there was nothing more I could do.

“Lady, the water is ready,” the woman said, coming to stand next to me.

I quickly washed, too distracted to luxuriate as I normally would. All alone, I sat by the fire with a blanket wrapped around me, waiting for my hair to dry. I hoped someone would return, even if it was just a slave.

I didn’t want to be by myself. The thought of Cayden staying out all night was devastating. If there was ever a chance for us to be together, things would need to change.

We could not go on this way, me growing angry, Cayden shutting down, both of us refusing to speak. He should be here. I should have asked him to stay.

I wondered where he was, who he was with. When I heard a sound, I wished it was him with all the hope inside of me. My eyes glanced at the door to find Freja entering, and I felt my heart sink.

“Cayden sent me to check on you and the baby.”

With her words, I felt the release of my emotions. As if she had expected it, she came over to hug me. “Let it all out, my dear. Tell old Freja what is wrong.”

I was crying so hard, I imagined it was hard for her to understand me. I told her about our promise to wed, about Weylin, the journey here, the woman in the storage house, and the men in the forest.

I went on about how I had bonded with Kyra and even Muireann. How I felt like part of the family, only to realize we might never marry. How I was scared to lose a family all over again.

As I confessed all my feelings, I wondered, fleetingly, if I ~had~ been too hasty in my accusation against Cayden. Was I sabotaging my own happiness?

Freja assured me we would find our way and to be patient with Cayden, as he would need to be patient with me. She said she would speak with him as well, but her words meant nothing to me.

“He is a foolish man,” she said, stroking my hair. “He came to find me as soon as you two got back to make sure you were okay. If he did not care, he would not have done that.”

“The best thing you can do right now is go to bed. Things will be better in the morning.”

“But what if he does expect me to leave tomorrow?”

“Just talk to him,” she said with a smile. “And remember, marriage and children take a great deal of patience.”

She left me alone with my thoughts, and for a few minutes I continued to stare into the fire. I hoped she was right and that all would be better in the morning.

So I did as she suggested, and placed another log on the fire before getting into bed.

***

When I awoke, the sun had not yet risen. My stomach was growling though, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep. My heart quickened when I turned over to see Cayden next to me.

His back was facing me, but I could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep. As quietly as I could, I rose and bundled myself up. Even though I was still upset, I was embarrassed by my behavior yesterday.

I had taken extreme measures instead of talking with him. With fresh eyes this morning, I had the strong desire to sit by the edge of the sea to clear my mind and think about everything I wanted to say to him.

It had only snowed a small amount overnight, with most of it turning to mud as the sun began to rise. I walked down the long path to the boatyard, realizing just how very early it was.

The town was absolutely silent. When I reached the shore, there were only two other men in the area. They both nodded and went about their business.

I found a spot away from all the boats that seemed like it would stay undisturbed. Laying one end of the blanket down on the log, I sat and placed the remainder over my lap.

Listening to the waves go back and forth brought me a sense of calm. I had only ever seen the sea once in my life before coming to Dundalk, but I had dreamed about it ever since.

The thought that there was an endless amount of water waiting to connect us to a new world seemed so romantic to me.

“May I join you?” Cayden woke me out of my state of deep thought. I nodded and continued to watch the waves break on the shore.

“I did not wish to disturb you. I loathe the thought that I am the reason the sad song has returned. It has been a while since I’ve heard it,” he said, in an attempt to break the awkwardness between us.

Everything I had rationally thought to say was suddenly erased from my mind at the sight of him, and all I could feel were the same emotions of yesterday.

“Why did you leave me last night?”

“I wasn’t sure you wished me to stay. I was scared that it would upset you more, or the baby, and you needed rest… So I went to find Freja and then figure out who attacked us.”

His answer seemed genuine, but it didn’t satisfy me. Before I could stop and think, I heard myself asking about the woman in the storage house. “Did you go to her? That woman?”

“No! Ada, how do I convince you there is nothing, ~nothing~, between me and that woman? She practically threw herself at me in that storage house yesterday,” he shouted.

His anger and frustration were not something I had anticipated; we had never fought like this before. I was scared. “What you did not see was me dismissing her, telling her I will never be with her.”

He jumped up and stormed off toward the boats, and I knew I had pushed him too far. He had come here to check on me, maybe even apologize, and all I had done was let my worry get the best of me.

I could hear him grumbling in both Danish and Gaelic in the distance, and I looked over at him. He was stopped in his tracks, as if deciding what to do. He turned around to face me.

For a few seconds, we stared at each other in complete disdain. Who would make the first move? For him to take the path away from here would break us past the point of repair.

He must have seen the fear on my face or thought the same thing, and he made the humbling move to walk back toward me.

“I do not know what else to say, Ada,” he shook his head. “Look at the company I keep. I am lost when it comes to these matters.

“It’s not as if I sit around with Gosta, Egil, and the others discussing matters of the heart,” he said, crouching down in front of me with his hands resting on my legs.

“Are you still mad about the journey here?” he asked. “I’m sorry. I am not used to having to worry about another person. This is all new to me... but I care for you a great deal. I truly do.”

He paused, searching for some type of consolation in my face. “That night Weylin attacked you, I blamed myself. I still blame myself. I was angry that I let that happen to you.

“I should have been there. I should have known he would try to harm you. It is my fault... If you wish to leave, then I will not stop you.”