Chapter 24: Chapter Three

ADA

Cayden looked as I had this morning, shocked. He stared intently at our hands on my stomach. He sat there for a few seconds, repeating the words “with child” to himself.

The thought must have settled in, and I watched his face change from sheer terror to joy. He kissed me on my cheeks and then my lips, wiping the tears from my face.

I felt relief in his reaction but was still scared of what I needed to say next.

“How long have you known?”

“I realized it this morning. That is why I haven’t felt well these past weeks.”

“You are not happy about this news.” He noticed my demeanor did not change as I spoke.

“I wish us to marry,” I blurted out. “I have no idea who my father is. I do not wish that for my own child.”

“Is that what you have been worried about? Of course we will marry, whatever you desire. If that is what will make you happy, I will marry you right here, right now.”

He looked at me with concern. I could feel the tears now rolling down my face. It was as if I could not control my emotions; I was feeling so many things at once.

“Do you really think I would leave you? Especially knowing you carry my child?”

“Egil said you had many admirers back home. Maybe the next place you visit you will meet someone else or you will return home to be with one of those women.

“What is it that keeps us together if not being bound by the gods?”

He was absolutely stunned by my hysteria, but I couldn’t help it. Since finding out I was pregnant, all these questions had brewed in my mind. I was completely overtaken with anxiety.

“I am a man. A stupid man. I love you, but marriage had never crossed my mind. Of course it is the path we will take together.” He paused for a moment.

“As for my admirers, do not listen to that ass, Egil. Just because I have admirers does not mean I am interested in them. That is why they have ~remained~ admirers.”

I was still crying and did not feel it was going to stop anytime soon. Cayden inched closer and began to stroke my hair.

“Ada, do you know what it’s like to walk next to you or ride into town with you? There is not one man that doesn’t stop to gaze at you.

“I can see them undress you with their eyes, their impure thoughts taking over. I cannot tell you the anger I feel when I see this.

“But I too wonder why you have chosen me. You could have any man that you want.”

He could have said anything to me in that moment. For him to choose to be raw and honest was exactly what I needed.

“That is true. I wonder why I have chosen you when I could have easily been with Gosta,” I said to him, trying to lighten the mood. He furrowed his brow for a second and then kissed me.

“I know that is a joke, but it’s not a humorous one… I have similar fears about being together.

“But I gave you my heart, Ada, my whole heart, and that is what will keep us together, marriage or no marriage.”

“Then we will promise each other to stay true and faithful?” I asked him.

He gently caressed my face, placing his forehead against mine. “Forever and always.”

We walked back toward the house, hand in hand. I could see Caxton and Gosta wrestling each other in the distance.

Cayden wished to share our news with them immediately so they would not wonder why I could not fight.

“Egil said I must meet with a midwife. I’m not sure where to find one,” I said to him as we strolled toward the group. He glanced at me sideways, wondering why I had spoken to Egil about our child.

I told him about my encounter with Egil earlier this morning, how I was in a state of complete shock and he awkwardly offered me counsel.

“First of all, I cannot believe Egil knew about my child before me,” he said, laughing at the thought of his friend comforting me. “How far along do you think you are?”

“I am not sure. Two, maybe three months.”

“Then Egil is right. I would like you to meet with Freja.”

“Will you send for her?”

“I would rather take you there for the winter. We would live comfortably there with my mother. She will take care of us, take care of you. I do not wish for you to work as hard as you do anymore.”

“Your mother,” I said, surprised. He had spoken so little about her in the past, I had assumed she was dead.

“Yes. She will care for you as much as I do. We will ask my father this week about returning. I’ll need to approach him when he is in the best of moods.”

***

The men cheered as Cayden shared the news that we were to have a child. As predicted, they made the appropriate sexual jabs regarding Cayden’s capability.

They congratulated us both in their own ways and asked similar questions about how I was feeling. At that moment, I began to feel dizzy from my lack of food and Cayden sent me into the house to rest.

I ate what I could and brought a canteen of water to bed. Before I could even think about the conversation between me and Cayden, I fell into a deep sleep.

Over the next few days, I felt the same type of fatigue, barely making it through the day. I was just happy to have a warm bed to sleep in, no longer on the hard floor of the loft.

“Egil, is this normal?” I overheard Cayden ask his friend as they stood next to the bed. I lay there pretending to still be asleep, hoping they would leave me soon.

The last thing I wanted was their input on my condition.

“In the beginning, yes, but we are not certain how far along she really is. Freja would know.”

“I have put this off long enough. I will need to ask my father for permission to leave.”

“You have a better chance asking the gods.”