Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Only a few hours had passed in confinement when Xinyue heard the sound of footsteps and the crunch of grass outside the tent’s walls. She sighed and tied the cloth back over half of her face. There were only a few options for who would come visit her in confinement.

“General, may I enter?” The voice was muffled and disguised, but there was only one person who would try such a childish trick. Hongyi had come to visit her.

“Enter, Lord Hongyi.” Xinyue kept her voice formal and with his title as a form of distance between them. She stood from where she had sat on the ground.

With a flap of canvas, Hongyi waltzed into the tent. In one hand he held a tray of food, the other holding the door open. As he entered, the General saluted ingreeting, and he nodded in response.

“How’d you know it was me?” The man was pouting a bit with his lower lip jutting out slightly. He was pristine in his mint green robes that didn’t have a speck of dirt on them. His hair was tied halfway up with a piece of jade that was shaped like a branch with leaves.

“It’s a secret.” Xinyue smiled under the cloth, amused by Hongyi, although she’d never admit it.

“Also, do you like these robes? I got them for the hunt.” Hongyi opened the arm that wasn’t holding the tray so Xinyue could examine his outfit more. “The lady at the fabric store told me the fabric was imported from the Wu Kingdom. I thought it’d be fashionable to show diplomacy.”

Xinyue sighed. “They do fit you well.” It wasn’t a lie, Hongyi had always been interested in fashion, and he had become one of the most fashionable people in all of the Long Kingdom. Even in the Wu Kingdom, there were whispers of his fashion sense and what trend he would partake in next. Xinyue had listened to Xiaobo on more than one occasion, listing what he would buy if he were rich, all the items influenced by Hongyi’s sense of style.

Hongyi preened, a bright smile on his face. “I knew you would think so. His Highness told me that I looked too much like a plant.” He sneered a bit at the end, thinking of the Crown Prince and his comment. While Hongyi was fashionable, he still didn’t quite reach the status of the Crown Prince. He was always a step behind the Crown Prince when it came to importing exotic goods and fabrics.

“Yes, well, why are you here, Lord Hongyi?” Xinyue knew she had to steer Hongyi toward the main topic of conversation. The man constantly hopped from one topic to the next with little to no warning. She never knew what would come next, or what direction the conversation would head in. This made Hongyi a dangerous conversationalist, there had been more than one occasion where he used his gift for talking to extract information out of someone.

“Oh, I totally forgot.” Hongyi presented the tray to Xinyue, his unoccupied hand on his waist. “This is dinner for you.”

“I thought the punishment was for two days in solitary without food or human interaction?” Xinyue raised her eyebrows and didn’t take the tray. She looked at it like there was a snake or vermin on it.

“Um, well.” Hongyi put the tray on the floor of the tent with both hands since Xinyue didn’t reach for it, his movements awkward and halting. She looked down at all of the dishes he brought and their presentation.

“The Crown Prince sent you here, Lord Hongyi?” Although it was phrased as a question, it didn’t need an answer. Everything she saw on the tray already told her just who was responsible for this dinner.

Hongyi’s eyes wouldn’t meet hers, and he examined the canvas of the tent extensively. “I decided this by myself.”

“Tell His Highness I am grateful for his mercy.” Xinyue nodded and looked at the food, which was all her favorite dishes, salty and spicy with lots of red pepper. The scent flowed throughout the tent, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist such a meal. He had even given her the seasoned crab legs she loved, even though she was sure they were out of season. He had even included a light dessert of apples, her favorite fruit.

“I will let him know.” Hongyi’s face was serious, his lips downturned and his eyes sad, it matched the last expression he had when they said goodbye three years ago. “General, we heard about your mother’s death.”

“Hm. Two years ago.” Xinyue nodded, her hand reached up to unconsciously touch the white ribbon in her hair. It wasn’t an uncomfortable topic, but also not one that Xinyue wanted to discuss at length.

“I am sorry for your loss.” Hongyi’s eyes were solemn, and he did a small salute.

“Thank you, Lord Hongyi.” Xinyue felt a tingling of warmth deep in her heart at having someone acknowledge the death of her mother. It felt like a long time ago, but also as if it just happened yesterday. Xinyue wasn’t sure how much sadness she should feel toward the woman who gave birth to her. On one hand, she remembered little of their time together before she was taken to the temple, only brief moments of warmth and smiles. On the other hand, she was grateful to her mother for being her mother and caring for her even for those few years that they had together.

“It may be insensitive, but I have to ask.” Xinyue braced herself, wrapping an iron chain around her heart in preparation for his next question. If Hongyi needed to begin with such a statement, Xinyue couldn’t imagine what would come next. “ Will you not come to the Long Kingdom? There is nothing left for you in the Wu Kingdom.”

“My duty is in the Wu Kingdom, Lord Hongyi.”

“I know, I know.” Hongyi sighed, and that smile, pained and stretched this time, came back. He took out his fan from where it was tied to his waist belt and opened it. The spectacular painting of crimson plum blossoms fluttered as he waved it about in front of his face. “Just thought I’d ask.”

“You can tell His Highness that I am again grateful to him and his inquiries.” Xinyue knew exactly who told Hongyi to say these things. It was the same person who asked her to change her alliance years ago, while the sound of the waterfall roared in her ears. She had to give him the same answer she had given him that time, but for different reasons.

Hongyi laughed then. The awkward smile disappeared and was replaced with joy and amusement. Xinyue was grateful that their awkward moment had passed, but she suspected that there would be more to come. Hongyi didn’t seem to be in any rush to leave the tent, and there was more he wanted to say. “Nothing gets past you, General.”

“Well, the gossip columns do call me a strategic genius, Lord Hongyi.” Xinyue shrugged and chuckled. Xiaobo had more than happily told Xinyue that title. In fact, he didn’t stop calling her it for a week after he read the gossip column.

“Something that they got right.” With a snap, Hongyi closed the fan, his canines showing with his wolfish smile. “Tell me, General, do you really think you should have taken the punishment for those princesses?” Hongyi’s question was light, but his lips were slightly upturned in a sneer. “Do you think they deserved your mercy?” The last question was mocking with a slight sing-song quality to Hongyi’s already slightly high-pitched voice.

“And if I thought they did, would you believe me, Lord Hongyi?”

“No.” The response was quick. Hongyi had already made up his mind that he despised the cowardice of the Wu Princesses, not to mention the conniving nature of the Feng Royal family. He could have been okay with Princess Lingyi of the State of Mu if she hadn’t been so weak and prone to whimpering. In his great opinion, none of the selected candidates were fit to be Queen of the Long Kingdom, let alone fit to be the wife of their Crown Prince. All of them would be terrible on the throne, and Hongyi had hoped that at least the Wu Princesses would have been discounted from the contest after this whole ordeal.

Xinyue sighed. “I didn’t do it for them.”

“Of course not.” Hongyi nodded in understanding. After all Hongyi did understand the General more than others. “The Crown Prince knew you would do this. He expected it.”

Even before the meeting to deal out punishment, the Crown Prince had pulled Hongyi and Bowen aside and told them not to disagree with anything that was said. He hadn’t told them exactly what would happen, but the Crown Prince definitely suspected that Xinyue would take the punishment. At first, when Hongyi heard the punishment, he thought it was too light and wouldn’t deter the princesses from acting out further, but as soon as Xinyue stepped forward, he understood why the Crown Prince told him beforehand not to act. “You wouldn’t have done it for them. You did it for something else, didn’t you?”

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“There would have been consequences.”

“But not from your actions.” Hongyi answered, like he expected the General’s response. He had thought a lot about why someone he held in such high esteem would do such a thing, something so foreign to him.

“But possibly from my inaction.”

In that moment, Hongyi’s eyes lit up with understanding, the reason he had suspected was confirmed. Hongyi’s eyes shifted. They had endless sympathy in them, but also anger as he looked at the woman in front of him. He still remembered the face of His Highness two years ago when they left the General behind. “Self-sacrificing to your very core.”

“You sound too much like His Highness, Lord Hongyi.” Xinyue smiled under her mask. She leaned down and picked up the water he had brought her with her meal, and lifted her mask to take a sip. “You should spend less time with him.” Her voice was amused, This was a conversation that she had had with the Crown Prince before. Hongyi had become very similar to him in their time apart.

“His Highness has changed since your time together, but you are similar to how you were two years ago. Still the same even after everything.” Hongyi shook his head in exasperation and a bit of frustration. “I understand, but at times I don’t want to understand. I don’t want to accept what you do.”

“Hm. But if I don’t do it, who would?”

“You could let them be punished.” Hongyi’s voice almost sounded whiny. He pulled and tugged at the words, trying to force the General to see the wisdom in his idea.

“And let the Feng Royals have their way? To take away the competition and allow Feng to align with Long.” Xinyue laughed, the sound a bit harsh even to her own ears. She both loved and hated her brain in times like this. The strategic path was clear, but that didn’t mean she wanted to take it. It was another bitter thing that she was forced to swallow, to choke down. “I would have to condemn the Wu Kingdom.”

“That’s only one possibility.” Hongyi moved his head from side to side like he was weighing two options. “Why did you have to consider the worst possibility? The Feng Kingdom could have had nothing to do with it.” The words were hollow and bounced off the canvas walls of the tent. Hongyi knew that he was wrong even as he said the words, but he wanted, no, needed, for the words to be said. For the other idea to be presented, for the other possibility, to be said out loud. Even if both of them knew it was wrong.

Xinyue gave him a look of understanding and chuckled a bit. “A possibility that must be considered. I have people who rely on me, on my protection.”

“Gods, I wish you weren’t so logical and strategic.” Hongyi sighed and fussed with his hair, brushing it with his hands. “Sometimes you two are so similar that it frustrates me.”

“Me? And His Highness?”

“Yes. You and His Highness.” Hongyi fiddled with the jade ring on his thumb, twisting it around. He copied Xinyue’s tone and words.

“He must have changed a lot more than I thought.” Xinyue scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, he did.” Hongyi gave Xinyue a long look that made her uncomfortable. Her heart raced a bit as she considered what it could mean.

“Well, I guess it was for the better. He didn’t take his work as general as seriously as he could have.”

“And you took it too seriously.” Hongyi threw her criticism of their Crown Prince back at her.

“It’s all I am. It’s what makes me, me.”

“Is that not sad to think about?”

Xinyue’s smile was small and wry. “Only if you think too deeply.”

“Do you not resent them?” It didn’t take long for Xinyue to guess who he meant, Hongyi’s mind moving from place to place, from subject to subject.

“No.”

“But they’re the reason you’re here. They’re one of the reasons why you were sent away from your family, your home.” Hongyi voice was high with desperation. He was desperate for Xinyue to admit that there was a part of her, even a small part, that resented the princesses. That resented the Royal family of the State of Wu.

Xinyue thought of the princesses, of their spoiled, over-the-top behavior. She wouldn’t lie and say she enjoyed their company, or that she found them to be bearable people. “I don’t like them, no.”

“Then you should have let them take the punishment.” Hongyi flapped his hands and glared at Xinyue, willing her to understand.

“Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I resent them, they were children when I was sent to the battlefield. And, even now, they’re unaware of their actions and the consequences they hold.”

Hongyi’s brows furrowed, “Do you just assume they are unintelligent?” He sounded almost affronted on their behalf.

“I guess that’s a nice way to say it.” Xinyue shrugged. Hongyi wasn’t necessarily wrong about Xinyue’s thought process. “They don’t know a lot of the world, of people.” Xinyue didn’t want to get into talking about the Wu Royal family and all the issues that were in the court. It would be better for Hongyi to think of the princesses as naive, possibly stupid, and to leave it at that.

“I see.” Hongyi paused and clicked his tongue. “But if I were you, I would’ve let them be punished. Let the Kingdom of Wu fall and enact my revenge on them all.” Hongyi’s voice rose as he said his nefarious plan, a wide smile on his face. He looked to be enjoying the idea of partaking in the fall of a kingdom. Xinyue could imagine him charging into battle, destroying everything that he saw without thought.

“And have more war?” Xinyue asked softly, reminding Hongyi of the consequences. They both had killed and almost been killed. They shared too many experiences for Hongyi not to know the dreadful meaning behind his words. Even as a joke, the cruel reminder was there, always present. The blood on her hands that couldn’t be washed off no matter how many times she bathed.

He sighed. “You do realize you are a general? You fought in many battles, and you’ve killed people. What’s a few more?” It wasn’t that Hongyi didn’t know what he was saying was wrong; he just wanted to understand why the General thought the way she did.

“It’s because I know great violence that I want peace. If I didn’t have the experiences I’ve had, I’d doubt I’d be who I am today.”

“Your way of thinking is annoying.” He let out a huff of air as he came to a conclusion. Xinyue smiled. She knew that Hongyi wasn’t bloodthirsty, well, not completely, but he didn’t exactly aim for a life of nonviolence. He was layered, a person of different experiences that have led him to this point, the same as her.

“You should have paid more attention during classes at the temple.” At that, Hongyi snorted and grinned. Xinyue was happy to lighten the mood, to move the conversation away from the Wu Kingdom and war.

“Did I ever tell you about the time that the Crown Prince crept into the Master’s bedroom in the middle of the night and put gravel into all of his shoes?” Hongyi was already laughing by the time he finished the story, recalling the fond memory.

“Was it after he was forced to kneel on gravel that day for not studying?” Xinyue had heard almost all about the mischief the Crown Prince had gotten up to when he was a child. It suited him to be so free-spirited.

“Yes!” Hongyi shouted with laughter, tears in his eyes. Xinyue figured she would’ve had to have been there at the temple to understand just how funny it was for it to have happened.

Wiping away his tears, Hongyi glanced around the tent and poked his head outside for a second to look around. He popped his head back into the tent and leaned into Xinyue conspiratorially. “Don’t tell His Highness I told you.” He held a finger to his lips as if it were some big secret.

“I won’t.” She may.

That serious and far-off look fell on his face again. “Did you fully recover?” Again, he had leapt to another uncomfortable topic, but one that she would have to eventually face. That they would all have to eventually confront.

“Yes.” The wounds had become scars, both the physical and emotional ones she had received. She thought back to the day she had asked them to leave, the tears that streamed down Hongyi’s face, and the shocked look Bowen gave her. The blood of the Crown Prince on her hands, and the drastic decision that had to be made. It felt like a lifetime ago, those few years in the past.