It's been hard to focus in classes for the past few days. But... It's worse when it's a class that Travis used to be in.
The chair he once sat in had a vase with flowers sitting on top of it, and I wasn't the only person who would often glance over at his empty seat.
Every class that Travis had, now has flowers at the seat he once sat at.
Some teachers would talk about how you can trust them if you're going through a tough time, and need to reach out to someone.
I hate how nobody noticed his pain until it was too late.
I hate how I didn't do shit until it was too late.
I rest my face on my arms as I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply before letting out a shaky breath as I hear the door open, soft footsteps against the wooden floor.
I tilt my head up, spotting a police officer at Packerton's desk, leaning next to her ear before she nods, searching her desk drawers for something.
She pulls out a few papers, a small smile on her lips as she hands them to the officer.
I could only assume that those papers were Travis's. I guess they're actually going to do shit this time.
Everyone around me looked confused, some probably even wondering if they were talking about them. But, none of them know who it's truly about. Except for me. I know exactly who it's about.
I absently tap my pencil against the desk in time with the tick of the clock, watching them speak for a moment before he disappears out the classroom, and I watch intently as Packerton's gaze drifts to his seat.
It is about him.
Of course it is.
I get one more tap against the desk before the bell rings, people gathering their things before leaving the classroom, and I follow not long after.
It doesn't take long for me to find Larry, since he's leaning against his locker, probably waiting for me.
"Did an officer come into your classroom, too?" Larry asks before I can, and I nod.
"It was about... Him." I still can't speak your name. Sometimes I can't even think it without wanting to cry.
We haven't talked about you since the funeral. I just... I can't bring myself to think about what I saw.
I only talked about it to the officers when we went to the police station.
"Sally, how are you...?" Larry snaps me out of my thoughts, with a question I didn't want to answer.
"I'm fine, Larry. I don't want to talk about it right now. Especially not at this stupid school."
Larry slowly nods, his eyes lingering for a moment too long before looking away. "Shall we go to lunch, Sally?"
"Please never say shall again." I reply as Larry chuckles, leading the way to the lunchroom.
~~~
The worst part of everyday is coming back home.
Because that's when I think about you.
It's the one time when I'm alone, and I'm always alone for too long, meaning I think about you for too long.
I hate myself for not doing something before it was too late. I could've saved you.
You were right there.
But then... Then you were gone.
I remember screaming, and Larry ran up. He saw me pulling you out of the dark red water, blood all over my clothes.
I remember the look on Kenneth's face when he got home and saw police cars, ambulances, and people surrounded outside his house.
I remember screaming at him.
I remember when I saw him I got so angry. Because he took away Travis. Because nobody would believe dumb teenagers.
I wanted to fucking murder him.
Then, I remember being drove to the hospital.
But...
We already knew you were gone the moment I dragged you out of that tub.
I remember my hand touching just above your heart, and I remember feeling nothing beat back.
The clothes from that day are thrown in the farthest, darkest corner of my room. But I can still see them.
I can still see the blood on them. Even if the stains are long gone.
I have dreams about you every single night.
Sometimes, they're good. Other times... It's the same horrible dream of finding you dead in the bathroom.
Sometimes when I wake up from that dream, part of me thinks that maybe, the whole thing was just a dream. Maybe you were still alive. But, when I walk out of my room, and meet my dad's gaze, I'm reminded of the hard truth.
You're still gone.
I never got to tell you that I love you.
I never got to even fucking kiss you.
I never got to show you my hideous face.
I never got to show you Gizmo.
If they don't arrest Kenneth this time, I swear I will murder him for you.
I know you wouldn't want that, but I can't stand seeing him with that stupid fucking look in his eyes. That look where he knows he got away with all the shit he put you and your mom through.
He will not walk away from this free.
I promise you that, Travis.
How many chapters do we think there are left... Winner gets a uh, congratulations. ð¥³