I stand in front of the door for quite a while, my hand resting on the doorknob. I felt like a statue, and part of me wished that I could just turn to stone.
He's getting more brutal. Sometimesâ Sometimes he doesn't even bother anymore to make up an excuse to hit me... He just does.
But... Maybe it's because he knows I'm doing worse in school... Or maybe it's because he's noticed that I've been seeing mother more often.
Thunder booms in the distance, a storm soon to be arriving.
I wish that lightning would just strike down right now, so that I wouldn't have to go inside. But, I know I have to. So, I do.
The door squeaks as it opens, and I didn't even realize I was holding my breath as I slowly lift my foot and step inside. Somehow, it manages to get more dark and gloomy inside the house.
Father was at the kitchen table, his eyes darting to me when he spots me. It makes my whole body shiver from head to toe.
(SMALL ABUSE WARNING)
"Come here." His voice booms in the quiet room, and I softly shut the door before walking towards him, pausing just a few feet away. I couldn't meet his gaze, so I stare at the wall past his ear.
"Look at me!" He shouts, making my whole body react, my eyes quickly meeting his gaze, my hands starting to tremble.
I hate that I can't defend myself. I hate how weak I feel standing next to him. I'm pathetic.
He stands up from the chair, towering over me before his hand comes crashing down across my face, being so sudden and hard that I fall to the floor.
"How are you my son? You're useless. Can't even fucking get a B in any of your classes." He shakes his head.
All I can do is prepare myself for what is to come.
~~~
(END OF ABUSE)
I sit on the floor of my room, cupping the side of my face in my hand as it throbs painfully. At this point, I won't even be able to see properly out of my eye.
I'll be just like Sal.
I sit there for a while before standing up, my head pounding as my eyesight starts to blur at the edges.
When was the last time I...
Oh well.
I stand still for a moment before the ringing in my ears fade away, and I silently walk towards my door, peaking out before stepping out completely.
I wanted to go walk in the rain. I needed out of this fucking house, even for just a little while.
I just needed to think.
Father usually returns to his room after he knows that I'm home, so he was nowhere to be seen as I slip my shoes on and leave. Fortunately, since it's raining pretty hard, he won't hear a thing. If he's not passed out by now.
When I step outside, it was actually raining a lot harder than I thought it would be... But that's okay.
I just need to walk and think, that's all.
I don't really pay much attention to where I'm going, because I'm just in my mind, many different things going through my head at once.
I like walking in the rain because if I cry, nobody can tell. But since it's night, nobody would be outside to notice.
I was drowning in my own thoughts before something snapped me out of my daze.
Or... Should I say, someone.
You seem to be everywhere I look.
"Travis? Is that you?" He speed walks over to me, his hand over his eyes... Or eye. Protecting it from the rain.
I pause, slowly turning to look over at him, hoping he wouldn't possibly notice the tears in my eyes.
"Why are you always everywhere I look?" My voice was a little bit more harsher than I meant to be. But right now, I couldn't care less. Everything has been getting on my nerves all day.
"Well... Maybe it's because you're standing in front of Addison Apartments." Sal points towards the sign behind him, making me sneer.
"I didn't ask for you to come out and greet me or some shit. I'm just going on a fucking walk." I don't know why I'm getting so defensive.
Sal puts his hands up, taking a small step back. "Sorry, I just thought I saw you walking out here, and was curious."
"You're always so curious. It's fucking annoying!" Why am I getting so mad?
"Travis, you need to-"
I snap, taking a step closer towards him, getting up in his space. "Don't fucking tell me what I need to do, Sally."
Sal doesn't back away, and it pisses me off more.
"You're so angering!" I shout at him, and I keep shouting nonsense at him for whatever reason. I don't know why I'm so angry with Sal.
But... Something deep down felt weird being so close to him.
I don't like what he's doing to me.
The rain pelted our skin, sometimes splashing off my face and into my eyes, making me blink multiple times.
We were both soaking wet, and I just noticed that his hair was down for once.
"I like you."
I suddenly stop shouting at him. Even though it was down pouring on us, it didn't seem to matter anymore. It almost...
What?
We stare at each other, the only sound I could hear was the violent pounding of my heart in my ears.
But he's a boy. Being with another boy is-
A sin. I have so many fucking sins that I couldn't even count them all.
Fuck it.
"I think I might like you, too."