Chapter 69.1 (Part 1) Vast and Endless Sea

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

He already left.

When Li Han and Gu Guoxiang signed their divorce agreement, Gu Mingxi was already an adult, so they didn’t have to go over custody terms. As for the division of assets, because Gu Guoxiang still worked at the metals company, he wanted to keep the house in his name. To compensate, he would buy Li Han and Gu Mingxi another house and give them 200 thousand dollars.

“I’ll take care of Gu Mingxi’s college tuition and living expenses as well,” Gu Guoxiang said.

A lot of people tried to convince Li Han that Gu Guoxiang was very shameless, that she ought to fight until he was left struggling. She should talk about how corrupt he was, about the mistakes he made with the clients, and ruin him. At the least, she should threaten him and take him for all his worth – house, car, money. Li Han shouldn’t hesitate to take it all, without leaving him even a dime.

Hearing those words, Li Han only smiled a bit.

If this was the year that Gu Guoxiang had cheated on Li han, she might have agreed with all those things. At that time, she hated Gu Guoxiang so much. She thought of how hard she worked for their family over the years, how much she did for her son. And then to end up in this situation, she even thought about taking Gu Guoxiang to his grave along with her to hers.

But now, Li Han and Gu Guoxiang had already separated for a year and a half. Gu Guoxiang deposited $3,000 into her account every month for living expenses. Gu Mingxi also gave her ten thousand dollars and said that Gu Guoxiang had given it to him as spending money.

There were many lonely nights where Li Han lied in bed and thought about her past with Gu Guoxiang. In other people’s eyes, all that happened was Gu Guoxiang’s fault. But Li Han knew that for a crack to appear between a husband and wife, it couldn’t have only been one person’s problem.

This was the impartial truth– Gu Guoxiang couldn’t accept Gu Mingxi’s disability. No matter what anyone said to him, no matter how hard Gu Mingxi worked, he couldn’t accept him.

A person’s mindset is very hard to change. Li Han couldn’t understand Gu Guoxiang’s prejudice, and Gu Guoxiang couldn’t understand Li Han’s persistence. He had a lot of pressure from his parents. As the years passes, having a healthy child had become an obsession for him.

Li Han recalled a day several years before. She’d gone to the hospital, and the doctor told her it would be very difficult to conceive again. That night, Gu Guoxiang spent a long time smoking on the balcony. When he came back inside, he hugged Li Han and cried.

At that time, she should have realized that their marriage was over.

The most innocent one of them all was Gu Mingxi.

Li Han knew that as Gu Mingxi grew up, he was always looking at his father’s back. He’d inherited his diligence, hardworking nature, and morality from Gu Guoxiang. Although Gu Guoxiang and Gu Mingxi weren’t close, in Gu Mingxi’s heart, there was always a spot for his father. The reason he’d worked so hard in school, after all, was really to get his father’s approval.

Li Han decided to part with Gu Guoxiang without hard feelings. She didn’t want Gu Guoxiang to become something so unsightly in front of their son. There are some things, like a fig leaf, that are best left not pulled off. Everyone should just live in peace. If there were problems, they could be discussed. If you really pull it off, the other party will lose face, but you won’t end up gaining anything.

Moreover, Gu Guoxiang was going to have another child soon. Li Han was a kindhearted person. Children were always innocent in these affairs. Gu Guoxiang hadn’t really treated Gu Mingxi poorly. She didn’t have to cause any distress to that unborn child’s home.

So, she accepted Gu Guoxiang’s terms.

– – – –

Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian, who’d finished the college entrance exam, were very relaxed. Especially Pang Qian. After she estimated her scores, she couldn’t believe it. She grabbed Gu Mingxi and shouted out, “Gu Mingxi, Gu Mingxi, I think I did really well!”

Seeing her so happy, Gu Mingxi was also happy. He asked her what her estimated score was, and Pang Qian grew embarrassed. She shook her head rapidly. “Not telling you. I probably remembered some of my answers wrong. How could I score that high. Aiya, we’ll know when the results are out.”

Gu Mingxi didn’t ask her again. After all, the scores you estimate yourself aren’t entirely accurate. They could only choose their schools when the results came out anyway, so he wasn’t in a rush.

While they waited for their results to come out, Gu Mingxi brought Pang Qian over to Shark’s place to play. Because of [censored; SARS outbreak?], the barbecue place didn’t have much business for several months. Clam and Oyster went to work at a nearby small factory, and Shark just took the time to rest at home.

That evening, Clam and Oyster returned from work. They were still living with Shark. When they saw Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian, they were both very happy. All of them had dinner together. Shark asked Gu Mingxi what university he intended to go to.

Gu Mingxi was silent. After his father spoke to him a few months prior, he and his mother discussed things a bit and then told Teacher Dai about it. Teacher Dai also thought it was problematic. She had Gu Mingxi give her a list of schools he was interested in, and she would contact their recruiters.

Looking at scores and honors, Gu Mingxi was undoubtedly a good student. But after finding out about his disability, many schools replied that they’d have to wait for the exam results to come out before making any decisions.

So at this time, Gu Mingxi was a bit scared.

When he and Pang Qian left Shark’s place, Gu Mingxi said, “Pang Pang, let’s go for a walk before we head home, okay?”

Pang Qian nodded. The two of them walked along the street leisurely, and Pang Qian chattered about her friends’ plans. “Zheng Qiaoqiao decided to pick E University for foreign language. Her score should be enough. Sun Mingfang called me and said she did okay on the exam, and she should be able to get into a tier-2 school. But she doesn’t want to go far away, so she’ll probably just choose a better tier-3 school here. A few days ago, I went shopping with Wang Tingting, and she didn’t test well. She’ll probably only be able to get an associate’s degree, but she’s not going to try the test again. Sun Mingfang said that Hu Tianli didn’t do well, and if his score isn’t enough to get into a tier-3, he’ll take the exam again next year. And there’s also Zhang Wei…”

Gu Mingxi smiled as he listened to her, without interrupting. Pang Qian suddenly stopped talking. She turned her head up to look at the early summer sky. She let out a long sigh and said, “Ah… Finally free.”

She turned her head and smiled at Gu Mingxi. She said, “Gu Mingxi, in two more months, we’ll be able to go to Shanghai together.”

Gu Mingxi asked, “Did you decided which school you’ll choose?”

“Yeah.”

“Which one?”

Pang Qian stuck out her tongue, and then said, “When all the results come out, I’ll tell you.”

Gu Mingxi smiled. “Shanghai’s really big, a lot bigger than E City. You’d better make sure not to pick a place across the city from me, so that we’re in two different corners of Shanghai.”

Pang Qian shook her head, “I wont.”

He looked deeply at her, and called softly, “Pang Pang.”

“Mm?”

Seeing her delicate and rosy cheeks, and her pure eyes, Gu Mingxi grew silent. He’d drunken some alcohol at Shark’s place so his face was burning slightly. He suddenly wanted to kiss her, but he also thought it might scare her.

They never brought up that kiss from a year ago. Gu Mingxi’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Somewhat hoarse, he said, “Nothing. I just wanted to call you.”

He thought, there was still a lot of time in the future.

– – – –

When he got home, Li Han was watching TV. Gu Mingxi called out a greeting to her. After he washed his feet, he was about to head back to his room when Li Han stopped him.

These days, Li Han always seemed preoccupied and not very communicative. Gu Mingxi knew that she had a lot on her mind. When he thought about how she and his father had just gotten divorced, she wouldn’t have been feeling well, so he didn’t ask her much.

Li Han called Gu Mingxi over to sit at the dinner table. She said, “Mingxi, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Gu Mingxi hadn’t expected that Li Han wanted to talk to him about choosing a university.

“I know that you want to get into Shanghai’s University of Finance and Economics, but right now, that school hasn’t responded back to us.” Li Han sat in front of Gu Mingxi and looked at her son. “I wanted to talk to you about this. Teacher Dai called me today and said that Z City’s B University gave a response. As long as your scores qualify you, they won’t reject you based on your physical condition.”

“B University?” Gu Mingxi thought it was strange. “I never mentioned B University to Teacher Dai.”

Li Han said, “I brought it up to her. I asked her to get in touch with the recruiter for B University. You can be sort of considered a kid from Z City. If you study at B University, then I can rent a place nearby. I can be there for you the whole time, and it won’t be a burden for the school.”

Gu Mingxi didn’t respond.

Z City was a small town in the north. It was Li Han’s hometown. It’s where she grew up and studied through secondary school, when she got a job at Z City’s office for E City’s metal company. After working there for two years, she was sent over to the main branch.

B University was a 211 Project school and was pretty well-known throughout the northern regions. It was considered a top university in the nation. All the schools that Gu Mingxi had reported to Teacher Dai were located in Shanghai. He hadn’t expected that Li Han would add on B University.

Gu Mingxi was a very smart person. He immediately figured out Li Han’s intentions. He asked, “Mom, do you miss your home?”

Li Han pressed her temples with her hand. She nodded. Sounding exhausted, she said, “Your dad said he wanted to buy us a house here. I told him not to buy one just yet. Son, you’ve grown up. There are some things I can’t decide on my own, and I want your opinion about it. I’ll tell you what I’m thinking first. You know that I’m not someone from this area. After being here for twenty years, I still only have a handful of friends. All my relatives and classmates are back in my hometown. You’ll be starting school soon. If you go to Shanghai, then I’ll be left alone in this city. Even if I have a house here, so what?”

She cried and the tears slowly flowed down her face. “Your grandparents are getting older too. I’ve been away from them for more than twenty years now, and it makes me feel very guilty for being unfilial. Now, I’ve already gotten divorced. I’ve filed for early retirement. When you go to college, I really won’t have anything to worry about. So I thought it was better for your dad not to buy a house and just give us the money. We can go back to my hometown, buy a house there, and stay with your grandparents for a few years.”

Gu Mingxi, “…”

Li Han looked at him. “The only thing I can’t give up is you, Mingxi, so I secretly told Teacher Dai about B University. I was just taking a chance. I really didn’t expect that none of the schools in Shanghai would respond, but B University would so readily accept you. So I wanted to discuss it with you. Can you consider going to school at B University?”

Gu Mingxi was silent for a moment, and then he said, “Mom, I promised that I’d study together with Pang Qian in Shanghai. Actually, if you’ll worry about me, you can come along to Shanghai too. We can rent a place at the school.”

Li Han shook her head and forced a smile on. “Then what happens after those four years? Will you stay in Shanghai to work or will you return to E City with Qian Qian? If Qian Qian came back, you’d follow her, wouldn’t you?”

Gu Mingxi was seen right through by his mother, and his face reddened.

Li Han said, “Mingxi, to tell you the truth, I really don’t want to stay in this city. If you’re sure that you’ll stay in Shanghai, then I’ll go with you. But…”

She shook her head, hair sweeping to the side. “You’re my son. I understand you all too well. You’ll definitely come back here with Qian Qian. But have you ever thought about the point behind it all? Qian Qian’s feelings for you, I really don’t see any hint of interest towards you. She treats you like her older brother, like a good friend. You two have grown up together all these years. You want her to change her feelings for you after you get into college, for her to like you? I’m not trying to put you down, son, but it really isn’t possible!”

“Mom!” Gu Mingxi cried out. He pushed his voice back down as he said, “I just want to be together with her.”

There were some things he couldn’t say out loud: Mom, you don’t know. It’s already a little different between Pang Qian and me. She even promised me that there were some things we’d talk about again when we got into college.

Li Han let out a sigh. “Son, you’re just wasting your time with this. Even if you go to the same university as Qian Qian, so what? If she wants to get a boyfriend and date, will you be able to stop her? Qian Qian was young before, so she liked to stick to you. In junior high and high school, your perspectives are still small. When she gets to college, she’ll meet boys from all over the country with different kinds of personalities. Some of them might be extraordinary. Everyone likes those who are outstanding. I know that you’re also exceptional, but I’ve told you before. In other people’s eyes, you are severely disabled. You have to keep your pride, but you also have to be self-aware. I’m not saying that you’re not good enough for Qian Qian. On the contrary, I think Qian Qian’s not good enough for you. What I mean is that, when you’re making decisions, you can’t just decide based on what Pang Qian decides. You have to think about yourself more. This isn’t being selfish, it’s taking responsibility for yourself and your future.”

Gu Mingxi lifted his head to look at his mother, his teeth clenched tightly. He was trembling slightly as he said, “Mom, Pang Qian has never minded that I don’t have arms. I am being responsible for myself when I make my decisions. The reason I want to get into SHUFE is for my future. Wanting to be together with Pang Qian isn’t a waste of time, it’s… I want to date Pang Qian. I even want to marry her. I don’t think this is some kind of daydream. And I don’t think that Pang Qian has no interest in me at all.”

Li Han looked into Gu Mingxi’s eyes. After a long while, she stood up and let out a sigh. “It’s true that you forget the mother when you find a wife. But it’s not even known whether or not this wife even has you in her heart. Whatever you’d like then. Go on to Shanghai. By yourself. In any case, I’ve decided to return to Z City.”

These were words spoken in a moment of irritation.

Actually, Gu Mingxi understood Li Han’s intent, and he knew his mother was just watching out for his own well-being. B University was also a top school after all. It wasn’t any less renowned than SHUFE. And most importantly, B University had agreed not to reject him. And Z City was Li Han’s home. If they returned there, they’d be taken care of. It was, all in all, a pretty good option for Gu Mingxi.

But how could this young man let go of the person in his heart? He followed Li Han and asked anxiously, “Mom, trust me. When Pang Qian and I get to college, we’ll be together.”

“How can I believe that?” Li Han suddenly turned back to stare at him. “Should I wait for your acceptance to be rescinded from SHUFE and then for you to be rejected by Pang Qian?!”

“No…”

“Then prove it to me!” Li Han turned her chin up to glare at Gu Mingxi. “The college entrance exams have already ended, son. Prove it for me to see. Go ask Pang Qian. Ask her if she likes you or not! As long as she says she likes you and will date you, I’ll let you two go to Shanghai!”

Gu Mingxi looked at her unflinchingly. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay, Mom. I’ll prove it for you to see.”

– – – –

The day that the exam results would be released, Pang Qian waited in Gu Mingxi’s room, up until 12 midnight. Once it hit 12 o’clock, the two of them split up. Pang Qian went to the living room to make the call, while Gu Mingxi checked online.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

Several minutes later, Pang Qian bounded happily into his room. “Hey, Gu Mingxi! You did awesome! 641 points!”

Gu Mingxi had just put his feet down from the keyboard. He got up and walked to Pang Qian. “You did really well too, 572. It’s definitely past the minimum for a tier-1!”

The two of them looked at each other excitedly. Pang Qian had a strong desire to jump up and give Gu Mingxi a high-five. After a melancholic moment, she didn’t care, and just directly pounced on him and gave him a hug.

“Oh my god, Gu Mingxi! I’m not dreaming, right?! I actually scored that many points?!”

She held onto him tightly as she jumped around. When she turned her head to look up at him, all she saw were his dark eyes. Gu Mingxi suddenly lowered his head and kissed her on her forehead. Pang Qian grew still and then let go of him. Then she touched her forehead and said, “Gu Mingxi, what are you doing?!”

“I…” He looked at her silently, and then smiled. He said, “I was just being happy for you.”

Pang Qian pouted and stared at him. She said, “I have to get home. They’re releasing the minimum scores (to get into a school) tomorrow. We’ll decide then how to fill out our applications.”

When the minimum scores came out, Pang Qian became Class 7’s black horse. She scored 60 points higher than the minimum for a tier-1. She’d never gotten such a good score before.

A lot of people said she made a surprise play and that her luck was really good. Only Gu Mingxi knew that Pang Qian had put in great efforts for that score. This year, she’d improved after every practice exam. She spent all her efforts on the college entrance exam. Being in a good state of mind helped too. That’s how she was able to get this result, it was inevitable.

Gu Mingxi even felt that if Pang Qian had another half year of time, she’d probably be able to score more than 600 points.

He’d never confessed to Pang Qian before. He’d tried to feel it out before, but he never got a good response. Gu Mingxi suddenly felt that he wasn’t very bold at all. Wasn’t it just saying the words, “I like you.” Why did it feel harder than solving a math Olympiad question?

Two days after the score minimums were released, everyone would have to choose what school they wanted to go to. Teacher Dai sent Gu Mingxi’s scores over to the recruitment office at SHUFE, but they never got a response. While Gu Mingxi waited anxiously for a response, he was also trying to find a good chance to talk to Pang Qian.

The day before they filled out the forms, Gu Mingxi gathered up his courage and went over to Apt. 501. Jin Ai’hua opened the door for him. Gu Mingxi asked if Pang Qian was home, and Jin Ai’hua said that she’d gone to her grandmother’s house to play.

Gu Mingxi thanked her, and just as he was about to leave, Jin Ai’hua stopped him. She asked, “Mingxi, Qian Qian told me that you and her decided to study in Shanghai together?”

Gu Mingxi hesidtated for a moment, and then nodded, “Mm.”

“Mingxi…” Jin Ai’hua held onto the door and continued hesitantly. “There are some things I’ve wanted to tell you for awhile. You and Pang Qian are both grown up. She’s an 18 year old girl now. The two of you always hanging around each other will cause others to gossip. I’m not opposing the two of you going to Shanghai together, but when that time comes, you should still act appropriately. You can’t just stick to Pang Qian all the time. Otherwise, others will mistaken you for her boyfriend, and that wouldn’t be good. You’re a smart boy. You understand what I’m saying, right?”

Gu Mingxi quietly slipped back into his house. He sat down at his desk and zoned out. There were two graduation photos sitting on his desk. One was a group photo of the Year 3 Class 1 students, and the other was of the students who’d been in Class 2 their first year, before getting split up. When they were taking photos, Teacher Dai gathered all the students who’d been in her class that first year. Pang Qian had arrived late and directly slipped into the first row, smiling happily for the photo.

Gu Mingxi stood in the back row, in the middle of a group of boys. He wore a white shirt, and with a large group of students in front of him, he didn’t look so different (lit. special).

His right foot was resting on his desk, and he picked up the photo to look at it carefully. He thought of his mother’s words, and then he thought of what Jin Ai’hua had just told him. Gu Mingxi felt a bit depressed. He couldn’t help feeling dissatisfied. He looked up at his bookshelf, and then an idea popped into his head.

When Jin Ai’hua opened the door, she realized it was Gu Mingxi again. But this time, his head was tilted to the side, a picture frame held between his head and shoulder.

It was a glimmering crystal frame, and it looked very high-class.

Jin Ai’hua helped take the frame from him. Gu Mingxi said, “Auntie, please help me give the frame to Pang Qian. She asked me for it the other day, saying it was for her to put her graduation photo in.”

Jin Ai’hua looked down to inspect the frame in her hands. There was only a piece of cardboard behind the glass, no photo. She nodded. “Okay, thank you.”

Pang Qian returned home from her grandmother’s after dinner. Jin Ai’hua delivered the frame to her. “Mingxi gave it to you.”

Pang Qian looked at it. “Ah? Why did he give this to me?”

“He said you asked for it.”

“When did I ask for it? I just said it looked nice a long time ago.” Pang Qian curled her lips, and then left the frame on the table.

At 7 o’clock, their home phone rang. Pang Shuisheng called Pang Qian over to get the phone. She picked it up. “Gu Mingxi, are you crazy? You’re right next door and you’re calling?”

Gu Mingxi asked, “Did you get the picture frame?”

“Yeah.”

“Try putting in your graduation photo. See if it fits or not.”

“Ah?”

“Can you try putting your photo in now?”

“Oh…”

His tone was very serious. “Just agree. Go do it now.”

Pang Qian thought it was strange, but she just agreed.

He laughed. “Mm, I’ll be waiting for your news.”

After he hung up, Pang Qian went back to her room and turned the frame to the back. She didn’t expect there to be such a sharp bit on the back. Pang Qian scratched the back slightly, and then blood flowed out from her fingertip.

“It hurts.” She sucked on her finger, and then the phone rang again from the living room. Pang Shuisheng called, “Pang Pang, phone!”

Pang Qian stormed out of her room and picked up the phone, shouting, “Gu Mingxi, you’re so annoying! My finger…”

“It’s me.” Another boy’s voice sounded from the phone. “Crab, are you free tonight? Do you want to come out for a game?”

Gu Mingxi stood out on the balcony and watched Pang Qian leave the building and head to the bike storage. A smile slipped onto his face and he immediately went out the door.