Chapter 57: Vicious Bonds: Chapter 57

It’s been four days since Willow left, and I haven’t slept. Not that I sleep much as it is, but without her here, I don’t care to sleep at all.

I’ve kept myself occupied with work, or I’ve lain in my chambers, staring at the ocean, wishing a large wave would sweep through my house and take me.

Anything would be better than dealing with this pain. Nothing’s working. The black tablets from Luxor have prevented sleep, as they should, but none of Della’s elixirs are easing the ache in my chest.

She’s tried everything, and it hardly takes the edge off. At this rate, I’ll have to go back to Whisper Grove and request something stronger from Manx. But he’ll read me, and he’ll know what I’m truly feeling, and he’ll say the only cure to it is her. I don’t want anyone inside my head again, but I don’t understand how someone who is so wrong for me can be the only thing to ease this pain.

Perhaps it’s all wrong. Perhaps there is a way she can be here, and the Tether will strengthen us instead of break us. This Mournwrath feeds when we’re together. If can find a way to get rid of Mournwrath, we’ll be safe. There must be an anecdote, or a way to find Selah and rectify this whole thing.

The only downfall is that Willow would be back in this world—a world she doesn’t deserve, and by the sounds of it, I don’t think I’d fit in hers. So even if there is a way, where do we go from there?

There’s a knock at my door, and I sigh, sitting up in the bed.

“What?”

“It’s me.” Juniper’s voice is on the other side of the door. I walk to my closet, grabbing a shirt and tugging it over my head, then make my way to the door.

“Can we talk?” she asks when I’ve cracked the door open.

“What about?”

She sighs and steps back. “I think this conversation would be best over tea.”

I meet Juniper in the kitchen after putting on my coat and jeans. She’s already sitting at the table, and from where I’m standing, I can see her leg bouncing beneath it. She’s chewing on her thumbnail, something she only does when she’s anxious. There’s a brown folder on the table in front of her.

I sit at the opposite end of the table, and Della pops up with tea on a tray, pouring two cups for us.

“Thank you, Della.” I grab my cup and take a sip, and she gives a slight bow of the head before leaving the kitchen. “What’s this about, Juniper?”

“So, I’ve noticed your moping,” she starts, sitting up taller.

“I haven’t been moping.”

“You have, but let’s not get into that.”

I sip my tea again, raising my chin. She’s wasting my time.

“I spoke to Alora.”

“About what?”

“Well, I went to her, and she took me to Beatrix again.”

I frown. “Why?”

“Listen, before you get upset, I just want to tell you, there is a way for you and Willow.”

I resist the urge to snap at her by sipping my tea and waiting for her to continue. She presses a hand on the folder before her and slides it across the oak table toward me. I glance down at it before lifting my gaze to hers again.

“Read it,” she insists.

I don’t read it right away because I have no clue what the hell I’m getting myself into. She’s noticed my supposed moping and she’s been speaking to Alora behind my back? What the hell else has she been doing?

“Did Maeve send you to Alora?”

Juniper blinks before dropping her eyes to her teacup. She cradles it in her hands, avoiding my eyes. “She wants what’s best for you, Caz.”

“I don’t need anyone telling me what’s best for me.”

“Can you just read what’s on the papers?”

I draw in a deep breath, snatching my eyes away from hers and focusing on the folder. I flip it open, and there’s a white sheet inside, yellowing at the edges. The words are handwritten in black ink.

They will tell you there’s no way to be with your mate due to the Cold Tether. They’re lying. A simple Tether means you’re soulmates, but a Cold Tether is much deeper than that. You’re still soulmates, bound to one another lifetime after lifetime, but there is a beginning to your bond.

When you find out where your Cold Tether starts, it all makes sense. It’s not a curse. It’s a gift. And once that gift has been discovered, there will be others seeking to tear it apart for their own power. Together is the only way to keep your strength, even when they tell you not to be. Apart, and your soul suffers until you’re left to be nothing but dust.

I lift my gaze to Juniper’s, who is anxiously waiting for me to respond.

“What am I supposed to be gathering here?” I ask.

“Turn it over,” she says.

I flip the page, and there’s an address listed. “An address in The Trench.” I raise a brow. She can’t be serious.

“Yes. And from what Beatrix told me, she knows one couple who beat the Cold Tether who may still live there, but she also believes it’s unlikely.”

“Then why didn’t she tell me this herself?”

“Because she didn’t want to give false hope. I had to beg her for something—anything that could help you and Willow. This couple is from different worlds, just like you two, and it’s believed that they’re still together.”

“How would they still be alive?”

Juniper stands. “I suppose we should go find out. If we can get to them, ask them how they did it, maybe this will help you get Willow back. She could stay here and—”

I shove back in my chair. “Juniper, do you hear yourself? Willow doesn’t want to be here! She can’t be here! I don’t give a fuck how this Cold Tether works, but she and I aren’t meant to be, and the sooner you, Maeve, and anyone else who is plotting behind my back can get that through your thick fucking skulls, the better off you’ll be.”

“You don’t have to be miserable, Caz! We’ve talked to Della! She’s worried about you and so are we! You’re in pain and you can’t stop it.”

“My pain has nothing to do with anyone,” I grumble, turning away. “Now stop digging behind my back and leave it be.”

“Willow wouldn’t want this, and you know it. What happens when she starts to feel the pain too? Will you just let her suffer?” Juniper’s voice echoes after me, but I’ve already left the kitchen. I march out the back door and cross the field to get to the stables. The door creaks on the hinges, and my stable boy, Pash, sees me and waves.

“Good morning, Mr. Harlow,” the boy greets me, standing next to a bale of hay.

“Morning, Pash. Onyx behaving himself?”

“He is, sir. He loves his morning walks.” Pash grins, standing closer.

I stand in front of Onyx, stroking his black mane. “How about a morning ride then, eh?” I murmur to the stallion.

Onyx huffs and stomps his front hooves, and I step away, opening his gate and mounting his back. As I settle on top of him, Cerberus comes rushing into the stables. Pash pets him when he approaches, scratching under his chin and causing one of Cerberus’ back legs to thump.

I dig into my pocket, pulling out a satchel. I pluck out ten rubies and offer them to Pash. “Here.”

Pash opens his palm, and I dump them in his hand. “Oh—sir, this is too much for today. It’s enough to last us a month.”

“You can take a month off, Pash.”

His eyes well with tears. “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

“No, Pash. You did nothing wrong. Go enjoy your family. I’ll contact you when I need a hand again.” I replace the satchel, gripping Onyx’s reins. “Feel free to clean the stables one last time. If any of the women come looking for me, tell them I don’t want to be found.”

I leave the stables with Onyx, and he dashes away as soon as we’re outside, catching speed. The wind whips at my face, and the mist is stronger today, but the droplets feel good. It reminds me that I’m alive, if only for now. Moments like these can’t be replaced.

My wolf catches up, chasing after us, enjoying the run.

“Yah!” Onyx gallops faster, and I peer over my shoulder at my home. It fades into the distance, and I hope the conversation I just had with Juniper does the same.

I can’t even stay in my own bloody house without being bothered about Willow.

Where is the peace?

When does it end?