Erin Kimora Delagardo
I laid in my bed underneath the covers as the tears ran down my face
This shit is not easy at all
My fucking body hurts
My head is hurting
My heart is aching
I'm just lost
I closed my eyes as I heard Amy & my dad arguing
They been arguing real bad since I got back which was three weeks ago
"You don't care about me or my kids fuck you" Amy yelled with her accent
"How you gonna say that Amy I love you & my kids all my kids" my dad yelled back
"Do you love me?" My dad asked her
It got silent
My phone started vibrating
I haven't been on my phone for some days
I haven't answered no calls when it rang
I reached over & grabbed my phone off the nightstand
I looked at the caller Id & it said rondo was calling
I sighed & answered
As the call connected I turned my camera off
"Wussup with you" he said into the phone looking like he was driving
"Nothing" I said dryly
"Mmcht nigga" he said smacking his lips
I blinked two times
"Yes rondo"
"I'm just checking on yo ass I haven't heard from you inna minute shordy" he said
"I know I miss you" I said as I wiped my tears because I feel so bad for hiding out from everyone from a choice i made
"Lemme scoop" he said
"Uhh" I started to say
"Ima pick you up you better be ready gang" he said
"Ion wanna leave"
"I don't give a fuck"
"You should tho" I said sitting up & my head started hurting more
"I'm 20 minutes away be ready" he said hanging up
I took a deep breath & got out of bed
I went to the bathroom
I grabbed my tooth brush & started brushing my teeth
I turned on the shower to get ready to get in the shower
My body aches so much
I finished brushing my teeth & I washed my face
Once I was down with that I got in the shower
I enjoyed hearing the water run & hit the bottom of the tub
I closed my eyes
"You sure you wanna do this?" My dad asked me as we pulled up to the abortion clinic
My eyes watered as I stared at the protesters outside of the clinic
Fuck no I'm not ready... but I have no choice I'm to young to have a baby. Especially by this Nigga Tae
I'm also scared because ion think I can be a good parent ion want my baby growing up experiencing the things I experienced.
All the fights, all the arguments about one parent not wanting the child, the shootings , the drugs.
So much more I can say
I took a deep breath
"I have no choice but to be ready" I said unbuckling my seat belt
"I'm here for you & my grand baby if you choose to keep it you don't have to do this Erin" he explained to me
I nodded my head
"This is for me though" I said grabbing my wallet
He nodded his head as we got out the car
He locked the doors
We walked in I walked straight to the check in
"Hi here for an appointment for Erin Delagardo" i said to the lady
She nodded her head as she typed on her computer
She smiled "perfect timing your room is actually ready"
I did a slight smile
Thinking do I really wanna do this
It's not like I'm already a terrible person but I would be even worse of a person
I followed her to the room with my dad right beside me
She asked me to get undressed & to sit on the table once I was finished
Her & my dad walked out
I looked around the room as the lights were a little dimmed & the utensils was already set out ready for the operation
I started crying as I got undressed
This Nigga really got me feeling horrible & seeing myself in a different manner
How could I let a nigga make me feel like this
This is down bad on my end really
This baby didn't or doesn't deserve this
But mentally I'm just not ready
I put the gown on & kept my sock on
I put my straight hair in a messy bun as I sat back down on the table
The doctor came in & showed me the baby on the ultrasound
I just stared at the screen with no words second guessing myself
The people out front call me horrible for knowing what's best for me & this baby
"This is horrible" i said as I laughed watching rondos son & him play fight in his living room floor
His son put him in a headlock
"Ight I'm done lil nigga" he said to him
He let go of rondo
"You hungry?" Rondo asked him
"Yes" he said getting up & going straight to his iPad
Rondo walked to the kitchen
I looked down at my phone
I watched TikToks
"I just wanna rock bodyodya" I sung along with the TikTok
The front door opened
I looked up & ji,Gk, & Tae walked in the house
This is embarrassing
I look a fucking mess
I haven't seen or spoken to them in months
Like literally
Maybe a month or two
Lemme stop being extra
"BOOGIE"Ji yelled seeming happy to see me
I smiled "hi guys"
"You good?" Gk asked me frowning
"Yeah why?"
"Been MIA & look at you yo ass look sick" Ji said
I smacked my lips
"I'm outchea thuggin" i said looking back at my phone
Rondo walked back in the living room handing lil man a sandwich & some chips
He sat next to me
I put my feet on his lap
"Y'all know how Lo got killed?" Gk asked
"Yeah why Wussup"
"They really investigating his whole shit saying it was a robbery" Gk said
My eyes widened
I looked up me & Tae made Instant eye contact
I looked back down
This is horrible fasho
Later that night...
"You sure you good mama" Rondo asked me as we watched the movie
"Just tired" I said laying on his chest as poetic justice was playing on the tv
"You came back from Cali acting different" he said
I looked up at him as he was looking down at me already
"Going through a lot rondo"
He nodded his head
Ji busted in the room
Me & rondo both looked at him crazy
"Tae bout to pop this Nigga outside" Ji said
Me & rondo both jumped up fast as hell
I put my sweater back on also my puffer
I slipped my pink Tasman Uggs on
I ran out the room & out the door with rondo & ji
Tae had the gun up to some niggas head
The nigga looked scared as fuck
I would be too though
This Nigga Tae it's like he wasn't Tae the way he was looking at him & the color of his eyes wasn't the brown color....it was like black
Tae just stared at him "I should blow yo fucking brains out" he yelled at the guy
My eyes widened
"Tae come on Nigga" rondo said to him
"Shut the fuck up rondo this nigga got me fucked up been stealing from me & mines & I gotta leave this Nigga alone fuck no I should kill yo ole goofy ass" Tae yelled
"Erin is right here" rondo explained to Tae
Tae scrunched his face up "I don't give a fuck"
"Tae bro let's go" Ji said to Tae
"Nah let this nigga kill this Nigga" Gk said as he walked up to Tae
"Shoot 'em if you gon kill 'em" he said to Tae
Tae took the safety off the gun
I walked back up to the house as I started breathing heavy
The room started spinning
I bent over putting my hands on my knees
I closed my eyes
My breathing got heavier
"Fuck fuck" I said as I walked into rondos room & grabbed all my shit
I looked up & saw Lo
"They after yo ass" he said laughing
"Huh" I asked confused
"I didn't mean to I'm sorry you shot the gun I panicked & shot back" i said backing up as he got closer to me
His pretty green eyes reminded me of someone
"Mommy" i whimpered as he pulled himself out of my little body
He put his private area up in my face
White stuff started coming out & all over my face
Looking like he was forcing it out of himself
I started crying as Roman sat on the floor with blood all over her
"LO WHERES MY DAUGHTERS" Roman's mom screamed busting in the room we was in
She looked dead at me then low
"SAVII" she screamed as she ran & punched the man in his head
My mom ran in & grabbed me
Roman's mom grabbed Roman
They ran out with us in their arms
The man chased after us
"Your Lo" i said frowning
He disappeared
My eyes widened
Knowing now that he's the one that raped me & Roman
I gripped onto my stuff & ran out the house
As I got to where they was there was a life less body on the ground infront of me
Tae & them was nowhere to be found
I closed my eyes & stepped over the body
Tears started coming down my face
I walked out of the complex & into the cold air
It felt good the air hitting my face
I looked around
These niggas really-
Wow okay
I put my trucker hat on & my MCM backpack on
I started walking down the side walk as I went on my phone to call an Uber
"Come on erin" I heard a familiar voice yell from a distance
I looked up & it was Tae in his car
I shook my head no
"Come the fuck on bro" he yelled to me
But it wasn't no regular yell
He had venom in the yell
I walked over to the car slowly
I got in the passenger seat & put my seatbelt on as he zoomed off
I looked out the window
He was running red lights , speeding & hitting sharp turns
"What you & rondo got going on" he asked with the venom still in his voice as he was gripping on to the wheel speeding past people swerving in & out of lanes
I looked over at him fully instead of watching him from the corner of my eye
He had blood all over him
His hood was on
& his eyes were black
Like literally
I never seen this side of Tae... ever
Even when he got mad he never looked like this
He looked at me
I just stared at him
"Did you not hear me?" He asked again yelling
"You can let me out" i said lowly cause I'm not in the mood
Even tho he lowkey is scaring me right now
"What?" He yelled & slammed on his brakes causing me to fly forward
"I said you can let me out" I said grabbing my bag starting to open the door
He yanked me by my ponytail causing my hat to fall off
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I screamed at him
"Nigga i asked you a question so answer me" he yelled at me
"I don't have to answer you yo ass is not my Nigga mind your fucking business" I yelled back
We started going back n forth
"You fucking with that nigga you a hoe ass bitch" he yelled at me
"I'm not fucking with him you're going to stop calling me a hoe my nigga on everything you're my second body I haven't fucked nobody since" I yelled to him
"Says who?"
"Says me my nigga fuck" I yelled back
"Merch as bitch"
"Really!? I ain't fucking with him like I fucking said mind your fucking business you're fucking ebonii why you still worried about me"
He chuckled
"You're the reason why I'm going through what I'm going through right now so leave me the fuck alone on the hood leave me alone"
"What the fuck you going through that it's ma fault what the fuck you make yo own decisions fuck is you talm bout I'll kill you bitch" he yelled at me
"I had no fucking choice Tae what the fuck that nigga was going to kill me you forced me in that house to do the job with you then you made us split up I had to make my own decisions cause you was nowhere around when he had me at gunpoint" I screamed at him
He scrunched his face up
"Well live with you're regret" he said as cars stared honking at us
"Fucking drive" I yelled at him
He started to pull off
"I hope all them people you hurting is haunting you" I said to him
"Bitch I'll kill you stop fucking talking" he said to me
"Kill me then that'll be another regret add to yo list" i said looking out the window
He put the gun up to my head
"Say something bitch" he said to me as he drove
I turned now the gun is on my temple
I just stared at him
"Really" I asked him
He took the safety off the gun
"Do it since you wanna kill me so fucking bad" I said to him as my voice cracked
I pushed the gun off my temple
He put the gun on his lap
I turned towards the door
"Fuck you on the hood fuck you yo ass don't care about nobody but yourself" I said to him in a low tone as tears ran down my face
He laughed " it's always fuck me fuck you bitch you ain't even worth shit so you think I care you talm bout fuck me?"
"You think this shit is funny? it's not... my worth shouldn't concern you bitch" I yelled at him
It got quiet
Couldn't hear anything but the car & the road's
He pulled into this alley
He turned the car off
He picked the gun up & smacked me with it
I held onto my face
In pure shock
Because this nigga really just sat here & hit me with his fucking gun
"I told you about that-" he started to say until I socked him dead in his shit
I continued to punch him too
Cause the fuck?
I started punching me all in my face & neck
He was not missing at fucking all
I grabbed the gun from him & pistol whipped him
He held on to his face
"Fuck"Â he yelled
"You stupid ass bitch what the fuck is wrong with you?" I screamed at him as I started crying
He grabbed me by my neck & started choking me
"Stop fucking playing Wimmie I'll leave you for dead right fucking here" he yelled at me
I'm in pure shock I never seen this Nigga like this like ever
"Get the fuck off of me" I said to him
His grip got tighter
I started kicking him
No Nigga will ever put his hands on me
"You promise me Erin?" My dad asked me
"Promise you what daddy?" I asked him as I colored princess tiana
"You will never let a man put his hands on you..." he said handing me my grilled cheese sandwich
I looked up at him
"I promise you a man will Ever never ever put his hands on me" I said waving the green color crown in the air
"If a man does what you going to do?" He asked me
"Ima call my daddy" I said
"What is daddy going to do"
"Going to hurt the man in a very very bad way" i said smiling
"You crazy" he said laughing
"But you damn right might just kill 'em" he said
"Aaron really don't be telling my daughter that if a man hits you take it like a G baby girl then kick his ass don't ever depend on another man to handle another man" My mom said to me looking high as ever
I smiled "I'll call my daddy & beat him up" as I put my fist up
"There you go" my dad said smiling & hugging me
"What happened to yo face sissy" Monica asked me as we was watching frozen
"My picture fell on me when I was sleep" I said
"GIRLS LETS GO" I heard Amy yell
"Pack y'all's stuff let's Go" she said again to the girls
They got up quick as fuck & ran upstairs
Amy side eyed me
"Don't be lying to my daughters on how you got them bruises on your face & neck" she said to me
I mugged her
"I know you knew about yo dad sleeping with the made" she added on
Crazy thing is my dad ain't here she must've went through his iPad or something
"I didn't though"
"Messages between him & her said you did"
"Okay?"
She laughed
"Girls come on fuck this" she screamed
The girls walked down stairs with a suitcase each
Amy opened the door & grabbed her bags & walked out the house with them
I just sat on the couch watching frozen
My phone started ringing
I grabbed it & Amoura was calling me
I answered the phone
"Why am I looking at the ceiling" she asked me
"because" I said
"Because..." she said
"What amoura?"
"What you been up to I been calling you everyday & yo ass is just now answering"
"Going through some shit right now"
"Understandable Gk said he saw you today & you looked sick" she said
"I think I am sick actually" I said
"You been sober?" She asked me
"Yes ma'am"
I'm not even lying I have been sober
"Yesss how's Sani?"
"Living her best life in NC" I said smiling just thinking about her
My dad texted me
I put the phone up to my face
"What the fuck happened to yo face" she asked me frowning
"Amoura I got a fucking abortion, I did something really bad me & Tae just got into it & he called me worthless, I been having dreams of the night I got raped when I was 6 I'm just really tired & sad I'm over this shit" i said crying
"Oh baby..no"
"I'm over life amoura"
She started crying too
We sat on the phone talking about everything