Chapter 8: Draw The Lines Of My Soul

~“Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand. But I still need love ‘cause I’m just a man. These nights never seem to go to plan, I don’t want you to leave will you hold my hand?”—Sam Smith.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith.

HARMONY

When I walk into my dorm room, I find April on the bunk bed, painting her nails. Yuna and Tia are on the floor, doing the same.

It seems like they’re getting ready for another party. I’m starting to think that partying is a required course at this university.

They look up when the door closes, greeting me with warm smiles.

“Hey Harmony,” April says, carefully applying purple polish to her thumbnail. She slips and curses, reaching for a napkin while trying to balance the bottle on the bed.

I watch her, silently hoping she doesn’t spill it all over my mom’s favorite bedsheet.

“Where are you guys headed?” I ask, setting my bag on the table and pulling down my sweater sleeves.

“A restaurant downtown,” Yuna answers with a smile. “Want to come?”

I shake my head quickly, leaning against the table. “No, thanks. I’ve got studying to do.”

~And some sketching to do with the sophomore you all warned me about.~

“Studying?” Tia wrinkles her nose. “Who studies after a week of university?”

“Harmony Skye does,” Yuna chuckles, stretching out her fingers to admire her nails. “That’s good, girl. Get that degree.” They all smile.

I laugh lightly, a bit confused. They make it sound like they don’t plan on ‘getting that degree.’

Why save up for half your life and spend so much on tuition if you’re not going to graduate?

I can’t imagine how I’d face my mom if I wasted these four years.

April gets up and walks to the small closet in the corner, holding her fingers apart as she carefully opens the doors.

“I can’t decide what to wear, formal or semi-formal?”

“Semi-formal,” Tia suggests, blowing on her nails. Her nail polish is a pretty deep rose color that looks great with her brown hair.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come, Harmony?” April asks, turning to look at me with pouted lips and big blue puppy eyes.

But even that won’t change my mind.

I shake my head. “Maybe next time.”

“Okay, sweetheart, we won’t push. But remember, you promised to come to a party with us next time.”

~Oh, I remember.~

“Next week there’s a party at Blaze’s house in Grissville. You should come,” Tia suggests.

~Blaze is having a party?~

He didn’t mention it to me. Maybe he figured I’m not the party type and didn’t bother inviting me. I’m glad.

“So, you coming next week?” Tia asks.

I sigh and shrug. “Sure...I guess I could stop by.”

They all cheer, and I’m taken aback. No one’s ever been that excited to have me around.

“Awesome! I can’t wait!” April laughs, and I smile genuinely.

BLAZE

I prop my hand under my head, swinging my legs as I scroll through my Instagram feed. Why do people use social media? It’s so boring.

I glance at James, who’s lounging on the couch watching an episode of ~Lucifer.~ He looks so peaceful, it’s annoying.

Smirking, I quietly ball up the pillow from under my head and throw it at the back of his head.

His head jerks forward, and I laugh as I sit up and reach for my Snickers on the nightstand.

“You have serious issues,” he grumbles, and I smile, tearing open the wrapper and taking a bite.

“Hey. You need to leave. Harmony’s coming over,” I tell him through a mouthful of chocolate, and he turns to look at me, grinning.

~If he knew how much he looks like the Joker from ~Batman~ right now, he’d stop.~

“Moving fast, aren’t you?” He chuckles and I roll my eyes.

“We’re going to ~draw,~” I emphasize the last word, and he gets the hint, laughing so hard he falls over on the couch.

I chuckle to myself as I stand up, toss the wrapper in the trash, and adjust my necklace.

“I don’t know what kind of ~drawing~ she’s thinking of, but I know I’ll be using my ~pencil~ tonight for sure.”

James stands up, shaking his head and still laughing. “You’re an asshole. I was planning on leaving tonight anyway. April wants us all to go to a restaurant downtown.”

I finish my chocolate and sit on my bed, picking up a baseball from the floor and tossing it in the air. “Good. But don’t tell her Harmony’s coming over.”

I juggle the ball from hand to hand while James gives me a confused look.

“Why not?”

“Why? Because she doesn’t trust my horny ass, that’s why. If you weren’t so busy trying to get with my cousin, you’d know that.”

He grins, not denying it. “Can’t argue with that. I’m gonna shower. If she shows up, tell her I’ll be out soon. And that she’s welcome to join me if she wants.”

I laugh and toss the ball at him. He dodges it, laughing as he disappears into the bathroom and shuts the door.

I flop down on the couch and stare at the movie he left playing on the screen. But my eyes are just going through the motions, my mind is filled with images of her—Harmony Skye.

When I told her that I drew her face in my mind, I wasn’t lying. If something or someone catches my interest, my mental disorder makes it impossible for me to forget it, even for a moment.

My thoughts become consumed with this new fascination until it becomes familiar.

And when that happens, I get bored, immediately moving on to a new interest and forgetting what had previously captivated me. I lose interest easily, which is why I’m always looking for new things to entertain me.

Unfortunately, this time, Harmony Skye is the one who caught my attention.

Soon, there’s a knock on the dorm door, and I get up with a groan and shuffle over to it. I open it to see April standing there and I can’t help but smile.

She probably thinks I’m happy to see her, but really, I’m just glad she’s here before Harmony so she can’t interfere with my plans.

“Why aren’t you dressed, Blaze? I thought we were going to eat,” she says as she walks into the room, Yuna and Tia trailing behind her.

“I have other plans,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets.

She tilts her head, curious. “Like what?”

James comes out of the bathroom fully dressed, grinning when he sees April. “Oh, Blaze isn’t coming, April. He’s waiting for Har—”

I shoot him a warning look and he quickly shuts up. ~Can’t keep his mouth shut.~

“Waiting for what?” she asks, looking from him to me.

I don’t feel emotions like guilt or remorse, so April finding out about Harmony coming over won’t bother me.

It’s just that if she knows, she’ll want to get involved and I want to draw tonight...(with a pencil, of course).

“Waiting for...” James grins. “Harry Potter! He’s waiting for the Harry Potter marathon tonight.”

He claps his hands together, proud of his excuse as if it’s the best one anyone’s ever come up with.

I stare at him, pretending to be impressed.

Sometimes I have to wonder why we’re friends, and then I remember that his dad owns several car companies and his mom is in politics. His family is loaded.

The thing is, I don’t keep relationships unless there’s something in it for me. I don’t need anyone but myself, so if I’m spending time with you, I must be getting something out of it.

April sighs, crossing her arms as she looks up at me. “I know you like ~dark~ movies, but you’ve never been a big Harry Potter fan.”

“You know you can’t figure me out, April.” I tilt my head to the side, a confident smile on my lips.

She rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in frustration. “I know. I don’t know why I keep trying.”

I fake a laugh. “Okay. ~I love you.~ Have a good night.”

I kiss her cheek, and she gives me that sad look she always does when I tell her I love her. She knows I can’t feel it, but she accepts it anyway.

I open the door for them, and she smiles as she leaves, Tia and Yuna following her.

“Have a good night,” James says, emphasizing the words as he walks past me with a grin, and I know exactly what he means.

“I plan to.” I smirk, closing the door behind him.

~Finally, some peace and fucking quiet.~

HARMONY

I bite my lip as I look at the clothes laid out on my bed, trying to decide what to wear. ~It’s just for drawing, Harmony, not a date!~ I remind myself. I sigh and choose the floral dress.

The night air is chilly, so I pair the dress with a yellow furry sweater and let my curly hair down for extra warmth.

I grab my sketchpad and a bag with my drawing tools, then quickly send Callum a text before heading out.

As I walk down the hallway, I can’t ignore the growing lump of guilt inside me. My mom may not be able to see me, but my dad is probably watching me from above.

Going to a boy’s dorm...~alone~. I try to convince myself that it’s just for drawing and there’s nothing else going on, but it’s not enough to quiet my nagging conscience.

I stop, biting my lip as I consider calling it off and going back to my room. I could just tell him I wasn’t feeling well or that I had homework to do.

I nod to myself. Yeah, that could work.

~“My mom’s dead too. She shot herself in the head.”~

I slump my shoulders. He’s probably lonely. I scrunch up my face, torn, while a group of girls in matching pajamas give me strange looks as they walk by.

I straighten up and clutch my sketchbook closer to my body as they giggle behind me.

I puff out my cheeks. ~Just go, Harmony. Plus, his roommate will be there too, there’s nothing to be nervous about.~

Listening to my inner voice, I continue my walk down Grayson Hall to the boys’ dorms on the other side of the campus.

The wind is crisp and biting tonight, and the stars are out in full force, dotting the sky with their gentle glow. I try not to stare at them too much, worried that my dad might be up there, scowling at my questionable behavior.

But it’s not really questionable, is it? I’m just honing my skills while offering some comfort to a boy whose mom took her own life. You could say I’m hitting two birds with one stone.

Holding my stuff close to my chest, I ascend the steps of Ainsley Hall, my legs feeling a bit shaky.

As I round the corner, I spot a group of boys hanging out a little way down the hall. I freeze for a moment as my breath quickens. ~Boys. I can’t stand being around them.~

I let out a sigh and keep walking, checking the numbers on the dorm doors as I search for room 102.

98.

99.

100.

As I get closer to the noisy group, I realize they’re standing right next to room 102, and I fight the urge to turn tail and head back to my own dorm.

They’re so big, their voices booming and echoing down the narrow hallway.

As I awkwardly approach them, one of them glances my way, looks away, then does a quick double-take. He nudges his friend, and soon they’re all staring at me with mischievous grins.

~Please just ignore me.~

A guy with curly brown hair whistles, and his friends laugh in unison. “What brings this little cutie to Ainsley Hall?”

I swallow hard, noticing that one of the boys is standing right in front of Blaze’s door. “Goodnight. Can I—you’re standing…” I point, and their grins grow wider.

“Are you a freshman?” a guy with black hair asks. He’s holding a joint between his fingers, squinting at me through hazy eyes.

I wrinkle my nose at the harsh smell of the smoke. ~Are they even allowed to smoke on campus?~

“Freshman?” he presses.

I nod in response to his question. “Yes. I need to get inside.”

“Why Xander?” he asks. “Xander can get any girl he wants. Come to my place instead. My room is right over there.” He points with his joint to a room at the far end of the hall, and I quickly look away, back to Blaze’s door.

“Please, excuse me.”

“Your voice is so soft.” The guy blocking the door snickers, and his friends join in. “I’d love to hear this cute voice moaning under me.” He licks his lips, and I furrow my brows at his crude words.

He reaches out to touch me when suddenly the door to the room swings open. Blaze has one hand in his pocket and with his free hand, he grabs the guy’s wrist, twisting it sharply.

The boy cries out, and my eyes widen as his friends quickly step back.

“Wanted to hear moaning, yeah? Well, here’s some fucking moaning. You’re welcome.” He twists the boy’s wrist even harder, and the boy screams, dropping to his knees.

“Ahhhh, stop—fuck! Xander!” He whimpers, looking at his hand that now seems limp and useless while Blaze crushes it like it’s made of jelly. “My hand is fucking bro-broken—let go! Ahh!!”

I stand frozen, eyes wide, while Blaze grins, clearly enjoying himself.

“Let go of my hand, please, I have rugby practice tomorrow. Please, Xander!”

“Leave her alone when you see her,” Blaze says, lowering his head to look at the boy’s pained face. “Did you hear me?”

“Yes, yes.” The boy nods his head rapidly. “Yes, yes, I’ll leave her alone. I’ll leave her alone, Xander!”

Holding back a laugh, Blaze finally lets go of his wrist. The boy quickly gets to his feet, stumbling back to his friends with tear-streaked cheeks and wide, traumatized eyes.

“All of you, get the fuck away from my door,” he says calmly, his face relaxed and completely unfazed.

“Right away. You won’t see us hanging around here again,” the black-haired guy says as they quickly shuffle down the hall with their injured friend, leaving the hallway quiet and empty.

I blink, staring at Blaze, who turns away from the retreating group and looks at me, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Are you coming in?”

I nod, still in a daze, as he turns and leads the way inside.

I step into the room, and he closes the door behind me. His unique scent fills the air, and I immediately notice that his room is much nicer than the one I share with April.

Instead of a rickety bunk bed, they have two separate beds. They have a TV, a gaming system, and a small kitchenette. Why didn’t I get this dorm?

Realizing his roommate isn’t here, I turn to him, my forehead creasing in confusion. “Your roommate...”

“Oh, he’s not here.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

~So it’s just us? This isn’t what I was expecting.~

I nod, feeling a bit nervous, one hand clutching my art supplies while the other starts to nervously play with the hem of my dress. His eyes drop to the movement, and he smiles slightly.

“Are you nervous?”

I meet his gaze, shaking my head. “No...”

He takes a step toward me, and I instinctively take one back. He chuckles at this, tilting his head a bit.

“Then stop...doing this.” He places a hand over mine, the one that’s gripping my dress, and gently pries my fingers loose. His touch sends a shiver through me, and I take in a sharp breath.

He smirks, his eyes taking in every detail of my face, including the sudden change in my complexion. “We’re just going to draw, Harmony. It’s okay.”

I look up into his eyes, noticing how empty they are. They seem almost soulless, and it confuses me. He’s unlike anyone else I’ve ever met.

“I know...” I look away. “Thank you for saving me from those creepy guys.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I don’t do anything for free.”

My head jerks up at his words, and his smirk grows wider. Oddly, his eyes don’t match his smile, and I add it to my growing list of things I don’t understand about him.

“What do you mean?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He studies me for a moment, his gaze intense. I hate the idea of owing anyone anything, especially a guy.

“Blaze?”

“I mean, as payment for saving you, I want you to draw something for me tonight,” he finally says. “Whatever you want.”

My face lights up instantly, like a kid who just got a new toy. As long as it involves art, I’m always excited. “Sure, no problem.” I flash him a wide grin.

His lips twitch at my enthusiasm, and then he reaches under his shirt. His eyes never leave mine as he pulls it off.

My eyes land on his bare chest, and I quickly turn around, my face burning as he chuckles softly behind me.

“I’m going to take a shower. Think about what you want to draw while I’m gone.”

I keep my back to him until I hear his footsteps fade and the bathroom door close softly. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and press a hand to my chest, feeling my heart race.

~It’s just his chest, Harmony. Just his chest.~

I look around the room for a place to sit. I spot a small suede couch next to the gaming station and make my way over to it. I sit down and turn my attention to the TV.

It’s some war movie, not my usual choice, but I decide to watch it to pass the time until he’s done with his shower.

I tap my fingers against my knees, the sound of water hitting tiles filling the room.

Soon, the bathroom door opens, and I glance over as Blaze’s wet hair peeks out from behind it. He looks at me through the damp strands, water dripping from his lips.

“Can you hand me a towel?”

I blink. “What?”

“A towel.” He nods toward his drawers, and I freeze. He notices my hesitation and smirks. “Or would you rather I come out naked to get it?”

“No, no. I’ll get it.” I stand up quickly and walk over to the drawers, which are unfortunately right next to the bathroom door.

I keep my face neutral as I open the top drawer, searching for a towel.

My cheeks feel like they’re on fire as I sift through boxers and unopened condom packets.

Blaze leans against the doorframe, a smile playing on his lips as he watches me blush.

His eyes roam over me like I’m a TV show he doesn’t want to miss a second of. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, and I can’t help but glance at him nervously.

Finally, I find a towel and let out a sigh of relief as I pull it out from the pile of clothes.

I hand him the towel, and he takes it with a wet hand. “Thanks, Harmony.”

I manage a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

Suddenly, he opens the door wider and I quickly cover my eyes, causing him to laugh.

My heart races as I press my hands against my face. ~What is he doing?~

“It’s okay. Look.” He tries to pull my hands away, but I shake my head, trying to pull away from him. “I’m dressed, Harmony.” He chuckles.

I peek through my fingers and see that he’s wearing a pair of gray shorts. He runs the towel through his wet hair. “See? I’m dressed.”

He gives me a half-smile, but he’s still shirtless, so I’m still uncomfortable.

I turn away, embarrassed, and hurry back to the couch, while he chuckles and goes to his drawers to get a shirt.

Why did he ask me to get him a towel if he was already wearing shorts? ~Does he enjoy making me uncomfortable?~

I bite my lip, my embarrassment growing. I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it through the night.

He stands in front of the small mirror above his drawer to put in his earrings, and I watch the credits roll on the movie I wasn’t really watching.

“So, are you ready?” he asks with a smile, moving over to his bed and sitting down. He puts a pillow in his lap while I turn to face him.

“Yeah. I was wondering if...” I trail off, embarrassed by the question I want to ask.

He looks at me expectantly. “What?”

I look up at him through my lashes. “Can I draw you?”

Ever since I saw him at orientation night, I’ve wanted to make a full-body sketch of him. I just hope it doesn’t sound too strange.

It’s not because I have feelings for him, I just like to use my talent to capture things that I find visually appealing.

He smiles at me, and I relax. “Sure. Why not?”

My grin returns as I reach for my sketchpad. “You can stay there; I’ll draw you from here.”

“Okay. So, should I get naked like Jack and Rose in ~Titanic~?” He tugs at his shirt, and I gasp, covering my eyes.

“No, no, don’t!”

He laughs, throwing his head back. “I’m just kidding, Harmony. You’re something else.”

He pushes his hair out of his face, and my heart skips a beat at how good-looking he is when it falls back into his eyes. He looks at me steadily, and I meet his gaze. ~He’s really attractive~.

He raises an eyebrow, and I clear my throat, dropping my gaze to my sketchpad.

“Um, y-you can pose however you want.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Can I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.” He adjusts his position on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard and resting his head against the gray walls.

I can't help but notice how his blue eyes appear darker in the dim light. My stomach does a little flip as I take in the sight of him, looking so breathtaking as he gazes at me.

“Make sure you make me look super sexy, okay?”

A small laugh escapes my lips as I reach for a pencil from my pouch.

“And don't forget the dimples,” he adds.

“But you’d have to keep smiling for me to capture that.”

“Right, shit. I’d have to keep grinning like a fool.”

We both laugh, and I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I adjust my position on the couch, placing the sketchpad flat on my lap and holding the pencil between my fingers.

“Ready?” I ask.

“Whenever you are.”

He closes his eyes and I start to sketch.

^~”This isn’t love, it’s clear to see. But darling, stay with me.” —Sam Smith.~^