Chapter 36: You Will Leave One Day, They All Do

~“Whenever you’re ready, can we surrender?” —Natalie Taylor.~

Chapter Theme Song: “Surrender” by Natalie Taylor.

HARMONY

~“Harmony.”~

~“Harmony.”~

A soft nudge pulls me from the depths of sleep. I blink open my eyes, disoriented, until I see Blaze watching me from the driver’s seat.

I glance around the dark, empty surroundings, realizing we’re back at Homewood and I’d dozed off in his car.

“We’re here,” he states the obvious.

I’m still a bit tipsy, but clearer than I was at the party. A little sleep does wonders when you’re drunk.

My muscles feel like they’ve been asleep too. As I sit up, I wince at the dull throb in my head. I silently promise myself to never drink or party again.

Now that I’m sobering up, flashes of the night’s events flood my mind.

I’m mortified by my behavior—dancing with Kite, a guy I’d only just met, and saying things I shouldn’t have to Blaze.

Humiliated doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Feeling his gaze on me, I lower my head in shame and unbuckle my seatbelt. “You didn’t have to drive me home.” I push the door open and step out into the biting night air.

The weather is humid and windy. I wrap an arm around myself, remembering I left my purse and sweater at the party.

I’d given my things to Yuna to hold while I went to the bathroom, and I forgot to get them back.

I hear Blaze get out of his car and walk over to me.

“Cold?” he asks.

I avoid his gaze. “No, I’m fine.”

“Your teeth are chattering.”

He reaches under his sweater and pulls it off in one swift motion. Now in a white tank top, he steps closer, intending to put it over my head.

I step back. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t be stubborn,” he snaps.

I give in but keep my eyes on my feet, refusing to look at him as he slips his brown hoodie over my head.

“Put your arms in,” he instructs.

I do as he says, albeit reluctantly. Immediately, his familiar scent surrounds me, and I can’t help but breathe it in.

The soft cotton feels warm against my skin, and my hands are hidden inside the oversized hoodie.

Blaze’s lips twitch into a smile. “You look cute.”

I blush and quickly turn away. “I’m going to my room.”

He closes the passenger door, locks his car, and follows me. “Let me walk you to your door.”

“I’m fine. I don’t want you at my dorm.”

“I didn’t say your dorm, Harmony. I meant your door, just to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’ll be fine. No one will hurt me on campus.”

“You can’t convince me of that after what happened with Mr. Jones in his office.”

I stop and turn to look at him. “I really will be fine, Blaze. I want to be alone tonight.”

He stares at me for a moment, the wind ruffling his hair, then nods. “Alright... Goodnight, Harmony.”

He turns and walks towards Ainsley Hall. I take a deep breath, tuck my hair behind my ear, and head in the opposite direction.

When I reach my dorm room, I realize my mistake.

God, I really am drunk. I don’t have my purse, so how am I supposed to have my key?

~You’re such a klutz, Harmony. Damn it.~

I sigh and run my fingers through my messy hair. I should’ve just stayed home and watched Netflix.

~Told you so!~ my subconscious chimes in. I try to ignore her. She only makes me feel worse. I’m already fed up with myself; I can’t handle self-criticism right now.

April won’t be back for a while, and I have nowhere to go. Everyone’s locked in, and the cafeteria and lounges are closed.

I realize my only option is to stay with Blaze until she returns. I don’t want to, but it’s better than freezing outside, so I reluctantly head towards Ainsley Hall.

Thankfully, the strange boys aren’t hanging out in the hallway this time. I guess they took Blaze’s warning seriously.

After seeing him crush that guy’s wrist, they’d be foolish not to. Blaze isn’t exactly stable. I’m sure they noticed that too.

I take a deep breath before knocking. I feel so stupid for ending up here when I said I wanted to be alone.

He opens the door almost immediately, now dressed in white shorts and a beige tank top. Seeing me standing there, he leans against the doorframe with a smile.

“What brings you here, lost kitten?”

I roll my eyes, feeling like a child begging for candy. “I don’t have my key. Can I stay with you until April gets back?”

He nods and steps aside, opening the door wider for me. “Make yourself at home.”

I step inside, and he closes the door behind me.

“Where should I sit?” I ask awkwardly.

“Wherever you want.”

I choose his bed since the couch is covered in clothes.

“James made that mess,” Blaze explains as I notice the TV is playing an episode of ~FRIENDS~.

“Do you watch this show?” I ask, watching as he stretches, grunts, and then flops onto his bed. He’s careful to keep a distance between us.

He leans back against his headboard, sketch pad in hand. “Nah. Comedies aren’t my thing. I never get the jokes.”

I can’t help but smile. ~He laughs at horror and thriller movies, but not comedies.~ He’s...~odd.~

“I was about to sketch.”

My interest is piqued, and I swivel to face him. “Sketch what?”

I remember the box of sketches I found in his room the other day. Was he about to draw something just as haunting again?

He catches my gaze, locked on the blank page of his sketch pad, and grins.

“No. I’m not drawing anything creepy this time.”

I freeze, wide-eyed. How did he know that’s exactly what I was thinking?

He chuckles, setting the sketchpad aside and moving closer to me, folding a leg beneath him. “Yeah, Harmony, I know what you did.”

I blink at him, utterly confused and at a loss for words. I try to respond, to not give myself away.

“Wh-what did I do?”

He leans back on his palms, his gaze steady on my anxious one. “That day I brought you to my house, I knew you were upstairs, snooping through my stuff.”

~Oh. My. God.~

My cheeks flush with embarrassment.

~How did he even—~

“You know how I knew?” He taps his finger against his bed, and I drag my eyes to the action. ~Why does he always do that?~

“Because I left my box open, and when we were about to leave, it was closed and under my bed. My dad never goes into my room—ever. It’s a rule he has.

“Also, you were upstairs for a pretty long time, Harmony.”

There’s no point in denying it now. I’ve been caught.

“I guess you could say I have the instincts of a serial killer, and I tend to remember how I leave things. So, when it’s not the same as how I left it, I know.”

I cover my eyes with my hand; this is just too embarrassing. “I am so sorry.”

He laughs. “For what?”

I remove my hand, revealing a face flushed with guilt and embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay. But it makes me wonder about you. Even after you saw all those weird things, you didn’t run away.”

I sigh. “Well...why would I? They’re just drawings.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not that simple for me. I have trouble feeling emotions sometimes.

“Like that drawing, sometimes when I should be happy, I don’t feel the full joy that everyone else feels. And then there are times when I can’t feel anything at all.”

I stare at him. What is he trying to say? I don’t think I understand.

“Why’s that?” I ask, hoping I’m not pushing too hard.

He swallows and looks down. “I can’t, no matter how much I want to... I can’t feel anything. But with you...”

He looks at me again, and my heart skips a beat.

“With you, I feel something.”

I search his eyes. They’re so intense, filled with so many emotions. How can he say he can’t feel anything when right now, I can feel so much passion and intensity radiating from him?

~No. No, I see what he’s doing. This is just a trick. A trick to get close to me again. I won’t fall for his charm. I have to stay in control.~

I look away. “I don’t believe that...”

“You don’t have to,” he replies softly.

I bite my lip and look back at him. “Why don’t you want to visit your mom’s grave?”

“Because she did things to me that I can’t forgive her for,” he answers simply, to my surprise.

“Things like what?”

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. The topic seems too heavy for him. I consider telling him to forget it, but he speaks first.

“I can’t tell you. Not because I don’t want to but because I need to feel safe.”

~Safe? What does he mean by that?~

“What do you mean by that?”

“People come and people go, Harmony. And I don’t want to give you a piece of me to take with you when you leave.”

“You think I will leave?” I ask softly.

“I don’t ~think~—I ~know~ you will,” he replies. “You will leave eventually. You know why? Because no one stays with anyone. They all eventually leave when they get tired or bored.”

Why does he think I will leave? I would never abandon him. I’m already so attached to him—more than he realizes.

“I won’t leave, Blaze,” I say. “I really won’t.”

“Yeah, but the way you were grinding on Kite tonight told me otherwise, Harmony.”

~Is he jealous right now? The thought is comforting. I never thought that would ever be possible.~

“I was drunk, Blaze.”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? It fucks me up to see you grinding on someone else.”

I stare at him. He looks so angry, so furious. It makes me smile a little. This has to mean he cares about me, right? It has to mean that he feels the same.

My heart swells with new feelings for him, and I move closer to him on the bed.

“You can confide in me, Blaze. I won’t judge you.”

He looks at me, and his eyes are soft and peaceful. I love how relaxed and comforted they seem right now. I wish I could capture this moment and keep it with me forever.

Without even realizing it, I find my lips softly meeting his in a tender kiss. He’s taken aback at first, but soon enough, his body eases into the moment as he draws me closer to him.