While Garven wove his way through the dwindling crowd, the quintet of gobsmacked adventurers tried their best to not look as stupid as they felt. Kael finally took a step to follow him, but his rogue friend stopped him.
"Let's leave this part to Liriel, yeah?" Her irritation at Garven heavily salted her tone. Elara started moving too.
"You're not tailing him alone." She was then stopped as well.
"And you four aren't 'tailing' him at all. Look at us," she began pointing, "Sparkly poster boy for local law enforcement, the girl who was raised by literal wolves, Mr. Would-stand-out-in-the-ocean-disguised-as-'wet', and-" She gestured wildly at Eya. "that!"
Theron mumbled under his breath and snapped his fingers. Liriel looked over at Eya again, then back to Theron. "Very funny." Eya looked down at herself and gasped. She saw the body and clothing of Liriel, and stood there marveling at the sight. Theron's illusion spell might have been impeccable, but the rogue knew he was just trying to get under her skin. Eya tried to roll with it, unaware of their history.
"I can go with you, see?" She set her face in a scowl to match the half-elf. Liriel rolled her eyes.
"Hey, maybe you've got a point. Tell you what Cherry, when we get back to the lodge, let's split one of those mulled wines." Liriel-Eya's face instantly broke into a smile again, which drew a scoff from the rogue. "And I rest my case. Any other questions? No? Good, go find someplace we can bring this dope to get some answers and meet me at our stakeout spot when you're done." She dashed off without waiting for confirmation while the others watched.
"I- I don't sparkle!" Kael called after her. Liriel-Eya patted him on the arm and tugged him back toward the wharf gate.
"You kinda do, come on." The rest of the group followed her and began descending back into the port.
"That warehouse at the end of the boardwalk looked abandoned." Kael mentioned as they wound their way down the cutbacks in the path. "I peeked in while we were waiting around, looked like no one had been in there for months." They reached the bottom and entered the boardwalk, passing by the wharf master's office. Eya caught sight of herself in the building's shiny, bronze dedication plaque and stopped. She admired Liriel's reflection for a moment, then twisted around with an impish smile and looked down at her backside.
"Oh now that's just not fair. Hey Theron, how long does this last?" She asked without stopping her envious inventory.
"Eight hours-" He answered.
"Ooh!" She responded.
"-or until I do this." He snapped his fingers again and the disguise vanished.
"Aww." She slouched slightly and jogged to catch up to them.
With night swiftly closing up the sky, the wharf became much more haunting than the bustling place it had been. While the north end retained some activity at its pubs and inns, the eastern fringe was desolate. Only a lone lamplighter crossed their path on the way to the warehouse.
Standing out front of the building, Kael rested his hands on his hips. The makeshift sunshade between the warehouse and its neighbor jostled and flapped lightly in an outgoing breeze. The various crates, barrels, and detritus stood where they had left them. He scanned the peaks of the buildings that poked above the top of the wall.
"Assuming we can get him to come quietly or we knock him out, we would be in that general area." He gestured up at the wall and Theron followed along.
"Oh aye, I see what yer gettin' at. I could fly yerself, Stickers, and the nonce over the wall and down here. Then the rest of us come around to meet ya." He rubbed his beard in thought.
"The port guards won't look twice at us if we act like we're headed down to get food or drinks." Eya added. "They're used to people stumbling up and down at all hours." She chuckled quietly to herself and Theron smirked at her.
"Know tha' from experience do ya?" She coughed and shook her head. Elara emerged from the far corner of the building and rejoined them.
"There's a missing plank on that side, should be big enough to get him through." She wiped her hands and waited to be caught up on the plan.
"Good catch, I didn't see one when I was there before." Elara just waggled her head.
"There's a missing plank on that side now." She clarified. Kael nodded in understanding.
"Ah. Okay, the plan so far is we get our hands on him by means unknown. We then either scare him or incapacitate him by means unknown. You and I fly him over the wall and land right here by means of wizard. They join us on foot and we let Liriel go to town on him. She gets what we want to know by means unspeakable. Thoughts?"
"Half-assed and ill conceived," Elara nodded back, "that's the way we do it."
"Improvisation is the art of life." Theron clapped his hands and started back toward the gate. "Let's go stick this pig."
Eya watched them wide-eyed as they passed and whispered under her breath. "...so cool."
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When they returned to their previous night's encampment 20 minutes later, Liriel was waiting. Kael filled her in on the plan and she caught them up in return.
"Arschloch has been yucking it up with his buddies, but he went into the basement about 20 minutes ago with three of them. There's a low window into it around the left side. I peeked in and it looks like they're having a meeting."
"We could hit them from both sides." Kael crossed his arms and thought. "Theron and I will go through the door, you two sneak in the window when they're not looking?"
Elara nodded, but Eya spoke up over the planning. "What about me?" Kael pointed at her and bounced his hand.
"You follow Elara after we secure the room. We'll need to be quick and coordinated, so the fewer moving parts, the better." Eya crossed her arms and shot him a disappointed glare.
"Two problems." Liriel pointed out with a gesture toward the pub. "One, how are we knocking him out, magic? Two, even if we do, that place is packed with his buddies. How are we going to drag him out without them getting bent out of shape?"
"A distraction." Eya spoke up again. "Theron can send me a message when you're ready to move out and I can distract them!" She had to admit that the four incredulous looks that she got stung. Liriel slowly turned to her and took hold of her shoulders.
"Look, Cherry-" She began but was cut off.
"My name is Eya. You all just had to blow my alias so at least use it." This actually threw the rogue off her cadence, but she recovered and cocked her eyebrow.
"Fine. Look, Eya, we appreciate you trying to give us our money's worth, but we've been over this. You've got some fighting chops, I'll give you that, but this place is a meat grinder populated entirely by assholes with more tattoos than teeth. So in the nicest possible way, fucking no." She turned away again and the four began debating another course of action.
"HEY!" They all jumped at the sound and looked at their cleric. Her voice had been at least three times louder than it should have been and she was clutching her holy symbol in a white-knuckled grasp. She dropped it again when her thaumaturgically-enhanced spectacle got the desired effect.
"This is a job to you, but it's my home and these- these pricks think they can use it to profit off people. So quit treating me like I'm going to break and let me help. You're paying me to heal but I can fight on my own time!" They remained silently shocked for several seconds until Liriel spoke up with a surprisingly unsarcastic tone.
"It's a pretty full house tonight...you sure you're up for that?" The cleric planted her staff and firmly nodded her head.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
"I don't care how many sailors are lined up in there, I can take it." Liriel immediately lost her composure and turned around. She began walking away while muttering in Zemnian.
"Du wirst mich fertig machen, Kleine." She then followed up with a nondenominational prayer for patience. Elara's eyebrows were just returning from her hairline when she had to choke back her laughter, Kael's discomfort managed to be visible in the darkness, and Theron nodded in support; content to just wait for the moment arrive like he was watching a ship pull into port. Eya's eyes went wide in understanding a moment later.
"Wha- Oh, bugger! Take them- take on all of- the whole- farts! You know what I meant!" She could feel the color rising over her neck and cheeks. Elara was the first to recover her bearing.
"Okay," she wiped her eyes and sniffed, "you're the distraction...probably more often than not, I'm assuming. Back to item one: How do we knock him out? Theron?"
The dwarf shook his head and rubbed his chin. "Nah, I mean I can put him to sleep, but he'll wake up again when we try to move him. Plus it only lasts a minute, so we'd have to really shake a leg." Eya cleared her throat and held out her hand. In it sat a small vial of dark, purplish liquid. Liriel picked it up and looked at it in the weak moonlight.
"Get half of that down his throat. He'll be loopy, happy, and stumbling like a drunk in two minutes, tops. Then just walk him out like you're helping him get home." Again, they looked at her with confusion until the rogue nearly choked on her words.
"Shut the entire fuck up. You just carry poison around?" Liriel stared her down, but Eya rebuffed her glare.
"It's only lotus extract with a touch of datura. It's not poison, it's a potion. Of...sleepiness." She held her chin up and looked away from the rogue.
"Yes, that's called poison." Liriel responded, completely vexed. "Calling this a 'potion of sleepiness' is like saying Purple Worm venom is a 'potion of deathiness'. You sound ridiculous." Eya crossed her arms and finally stared back at Liriel.
"Look, people aren't always nice when they see me in my clerical robes. Even when I'm just trying to relax with a drink and minding my own business. So when they get a little handsy I need to...dissuade them. And it's not like I'm allowed to just stab anybody I want!" She then mumbled and turned away again. "Brennan was very clear about that." Another silence hung there until Liriel shrugged.
"Fuck it, good enough. I'm in." She palmed the 'potion' and turned back to the gathering. Kael looked between the rest of them with his mouth hanging open until he realized he'd been outvoted.
"This is going to be interesting." He said, resigning himself to fate.
"This is going to be a shitshow," Theron added, "but it'll be fun, huh?" The aasimar looked down at him with weary acceptance and gestured to him.
"Come on. You and I should go in first, we'll try to slip in and find a corner. Eya, give us five minutes before you go in." She nodded eagerly and the mismatched pair moved toward the street, but Elara stopped them.
"Here," she held out her cloak, "cover up your armor. And try not to look so...wholesome." She reached up and mussed his hair while he donned the dark green garment. When she stepped back and assessed him, Liriel was at her side. The rogue snorted.
"We don't have time to make you look right. Just act tipsy and let Theron do the talking." Theron hitched up his robe proudly and nodded.
"Tha's what I do best, aside from all the other things I'm amazin' at. Let's go, drunky." He grabbed Kael's elbow and hauled him toward the bar. After the three women watched them go, the ranger and rogue turned back toward Eya. They looked her over as she leaned on her quarterstaff but didn't say anything. Her eyes bounced back and forth between them until she couldn't take it anymore.
"What?" She finally asked. Elara shook her head and looked away, Liriel put her hands out in front of her.
"Nothing, nothing. I was going to suggest making yourself look a little less wholesome too but...I'm starting to think that's your gimmick. Plus I didn't want you to pull a knife on me or something for suggesting it." Elara giggled into her fist. Eya took her staff in both hands and picked at the wood with her nail.
"That's crazy, why would I do that?" She asked, trailing off and looking at Liriel's boots. The half-elf's eyes went wide.
"Holy shit! You do have a blade on you! That's amazing, let me see." She began pawing at the cleric's robe and was promptly batted away. "Is it a kitchen knife from your temple? Please tell me you didn't paint flowers or some shit on it. Honestly I think I've had more fun in the last ten minutes than I've had in months, come on give it up." Eya quickly turned away toward the pub.
"You're nuts, you're all nuts." She mumbled as she walked into the street. Elara cleared her throat and called after her.
"It hasn't been five minutes." Eya just swiped her hand behind her dismissively and kept marching toward her target.
"I hate to admit it, but Theron was right." Liriel smirked. "This is going to be a complete shitshow. Let's get good seats." The last two members crept out and made for the side of the pub, where she had seen their entry point.
Eya did end up waiting by the entrance, pretending to pray or fiddle with the contents of her satchel whenever someone passed. When she was sure she had waited long enough, she gave it another minute to be safe and entered. Her first impression made her decide to take Liriel's imaginative hyperbole more seriously. This place was a dive. It was a dive that other dives would look down on.
The room itself was small, the bar also small. Above the bar itself hung a large, crimson ship's standard with a grinning black skull. The walls were lined with nautical paraphernalia, lascivious sketches, and crude benches. A few, mostly cockeyed, tables were scattered about. Each table had between zero and six chairs, depending on who had dragged what, where. Everything had a spattered sheen that came from spilled drinks and lackadaisical cleaning and her boots subtly crackled as she peeled off whatever was on the floor with each step. Eya took in the clientele, who were all intensely interested in the new arrival.
She gulped and flushed at the attention. Liriel wasn't kidding about the tattoos-to-teeth ratio either. Looking behind her, Eya caught sight of Theron and Kael. Even though the warrior was slumped over the table and convincingly feigning drunkenness, his eyes were still on her. Both of them looked very concerned.
Eya steeled herself and straightened her back as she crossed the space and walked up to be served. A phalanx of interested mercenaries and sailors, each at least a head taller than her, stood between her and the bartender. She cleared her throat and nodded her head toward the bar. Two of the closest sailors made space between them.
"Thank you." She said sweetly and propped her staff against the counter. "Whatever's tapped, please." The bartender, a weatherbeaten old sailor with a false eye, looked her up and down. He glanced at his other patrons, who looked as confused as he did, and then back to her.
"Sister," his voice was gravelly and low, "are you lost?" There was a subtle shift in the other patrons' postures. A wariness settled on the room and a few chairs groaned against the floor behind her as they were turned. In the far corner of the room, Kael's shoulders tensed and Theron's hand dipped into one of his component pouches. Eya's friendly gaze did not waver from the bartender though.
"Is this a bar?" She asked. His leathery forehead wrinkled and his eyebrows knitted together, but he nodded at her. "And do you accept coin for your drinks?" He nodded again, confused. He knew where she was going with this, but somehow the sass coming from this cleric just didn't compute. "Then I'm not lost, am I?" She reached up and tapped a gold coin on the counter. Still, no one moved except for Kael in the far corner. His leg slid slowly out from behind their table and he gripped its edge. He pictured throwing the furniture into the nearest group of patrons to get their shitshow off to its seemingly inevitable start.
"Tiedown!" A voice burst out of the right side of the room from a man in what could only be assumed to be a rough approximation of a ship captain's regalia. "Don't jus' stand there, gawpin'! Get the little lady a drink!" The atmosphere relaxed instantly, the talking and commiserating around the room resumed without missing a beat. Acceptance by one of the existing clientele was apparently the signal because Eya was soon presented with a large ceramic mug of something frothy. She winked at 'Tiedown' and raised the mug to her unexpected patron, who beckoned her over.
"Come have a seat lass, I'm dyin' to know what winds blew you inta our little cove tonight." She stifled a groan at the overwrought nautical metaphor and sauntered her way over. Looking around at the hodgepodge crew that surrounded her benefactor, she realized there were no seats available. The gold-toothed grin showing through his bristly beard told her all she needed to know. Putting on a pleasant smile, she turned to one of his 'crew' and presented her quarterstaff.
"Hold this." When he took it, she gathered her robe and sat on the knee of the 'captain'. She turned back to the man holding her staff and nodded. "Thank you." Returning her attention forward, she took a long drink, then licked the foam from her lips. "So...who should I thank for that chivalrous rescue, Captain...?"
"Aleghast." He said with a grin. "But those who're wise just know me as The Marauder." Again, she stifled a groan at Captain Tryhard.
"Well, Captain The Marauder, you have my thanks." She tapped her mug to his and drank again.
Theron and Kael watched all of this occur with their jaws wide open. Their shock even detracted from their feigned inebriation act. They looked at each other and neither could quite account for what they were seeing. When Kael saw Captain Tryhard's hand slide around Eya's waist though, he instinctually rose to his feet. He bumped their table and it slid with a resounding groan on the wood floor. All eyes in the room moved to them so Theron reacted quickly, staggering to a standing position and yanking on Kael's arm.
"Ah'right lad, don' piss yerself yet." Kael swayed to keep up the act but his eyes were locked on Eya. She subtly scowled at him and jerked her head away. The signal was unmistakable: Don't screw this up.
Theron dragged him forward and waved at Tiedown. "Oi! Wheresa pisser?" The bartender hooked his thumb behind him.
"Out back, don't piss in my alley!" Theron waved him down and Kael obediently stumbled behind the wizard. As they entered narrow hallway that led to the back, Kael glanced over his shoulder one more time. He caught Eya's eye again and she gave him a faint nod before laughing at one of the Captain's terrible nautical puns.
Ten feet into the dark hallway, Theron found the basement door.
"She's a natural, tha' one." He whispered to his partner. "Ya ready for this?" Kael patted him on the shoulder, Theron quietly opened the door, and they both descended the stairs.