Act 1: Groundskeeper: Chapter 2

“H-hands up where I can see them!” I stuttered, trying and failing to stand up to my full height.

“Girlboss,” He said with an exasperated sigh. “Can I call you Girlboss?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Girlboss it is then!” He said with a slight grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes. I could hardly take this guy seriously except for the fact that he was definitely The Anomaly. He continued talking.

“Listen, you look so exhausted. You look like you're about to collapse. Let me help you out first, and then you can try to do the whole "arrest me” thing.”

I stood there dumbfounded, mouth agape. He was nothing like I expected him to be. The cat on his shoulder then rolled its eyes and meowed at him.

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay!” He said to the cat. He then turned back to me. “Seriously, Girlboss, you look like you're about to pass out.”

“I have so much energy, you have no- no idea…”

And then, to my embarrassment, I passed out. (And before you all start going “But Twin! If you are out for more than five seconds, that means you’ll have long-lasting brain damage and most likely die!” Well, let me break it to you, bucko, this is a multiverse of multiverses, and it’s made for dramatic effect and overused scene changes. So deal with it and shush. Wait, are you breaking the fourth wall within a fourth wall break? Shut up Mio.) I wish I could say I heard The Anomaly say something or do something dramatic as I passed out, but nope! I also wish I could say I had an ominous premonition while I was unconscious, but also nope!

When I awoke, it took me a second to process my surroundings. I was in a white painted room with popcorn ceilings, and I was lying in a bed with stark white sheets. An AC unit was basically screaming next to me, but it was still blistering hot, and I was already sweating. There were three doors, one that was open and led to a bathroom, a closed glass door with shades covering it, and a third door that was closed, from which I could hear the noise of pots, pans, and someone humming. There was also a window above me that had morning light shining down on me. I could hear the sounds of waves crashing and the chirping of birds coming from the window. I brushed off the sheets and immediately blushed the color of a tomato. I was wearing a sea blue sun dress with small rabbits sewn all around the bottom of the skirt of the dress. The dress itself felt strangely familiar and also not. I then noticed two more things. The first is that I was completely clean. My hair and skin were spotless and free from any grime or muck. The second was that my arm was completely fine. Where my arm was almost falling off previously, there was no longer any sign of the injury. I dropped to the floor and crept silently across the room, opening the closed door with not a single squeak. It led to a hallway. As I reached the end of the hallway, I passed a door with a sign on it that said ‘Rem’s Room’, but I didn’t give it a second thought. I eventually turned a corner at the end of the hallway that led into an open room that connected to a kitchen. I then saw The Anomaly. He had his back turned to me while he was humming and flipping pancakes. I continued to tiptoe towards him, but then, without turning around, he spoke.

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“Good morning Girlboss, how did you sleep?”

“Put your hands up and get down on the ground,” I said with my fist raised. I wasn't the best at fist fighting, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Well, isn’t it a bit too early in the morning for those kinds of dramatics? Would you like some coffee?” He then turned to face me. He was wearing red athletic shorts and a black t-shirt. He was also wearing a white apron that said ‘Fandom, please do not ship or kiss the cook’. “And if you're wondering,” He continued, “I wasn’t the one who dressed, cleaned, and healed you; that was my wife.”

“Nice excuse,” I said, rolling my eyes. “A being of pure chaos and Treeversal destruction doesn't have a wife.”

“So that’s what they’re calling me nowadays? You’d think that after all this time, they’d get a little more creative. I have a lot of ideas, and it wouldn’t hurt to just ask me.

“Prove it.” I said, keeping my stance, ready to fight at any moment.

“You’re a feisty one, aren't you Girlboss? Fine then. Mem? Can you come to the kitchen? Our guest is awake!”

The door that I had passed in the hallway opened, and a dark skinned woman with dark navy hair walked out before silently shutting the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and glared at The Anomaly.

Lo, be quiet! She’s still sleeping!” She had a voice that sounded like a lion’s purr, content with just sitting in the sun. She then turned to me. “Hello, I’m Mem. It’s very nice to meet you.” She smiled at me, and it was such a kind smile, I felt all my worries just wash away. I didn’t want to be mad or fight anyone, so I dropped my hands to my sides, content and feeling safe.

“Wait a second, hold on!” I said, shaking off my stupor. “ Who’s still sleeping?”

Mem looked to Lo, and then Lo looked to Mem before Lo spoke.

“Me and Mem’s daughter, Rem, of course.”

I just stood there and stared at both of them blankly for a second.

“I’d like that coffee now.”