Bitter Arrangement: Chapter 35

I feel guilty about my stupid decision to go visit Brenden. I don’t even know why I did it. I know that it isn’t safe to go anywhere near that other house right now, but I just couldn’t keep myself at home. An impulse hit me, and I’m still powerless to resist it.

Alexan had every right to tear into me. He could’ve yelled and really rubbed my face in it. Lord knows my father would’ve. But instead, he made me understand why I screwed up, and then he got over it. Sure, he was mad, but he didn’t take it too far.

Which is a novel experience for me.

All my life, my father’s been losing his temper and telling me how I’m worthless and stupid. It’s almost like that’s what I expect from men.

That’s not how Alexan approaches me. He’s not exactly patient, but he does seem to understand.

It feels good. Honestly, it feels healthy.

I sleep in the next day and wake up late. Alexan’s already out of bed and probably has been for a few hours. It’s a little past nine when I finally get up, use the bathroom, and head downstairs. I expect to find a note, but instead, my husband is in the kitchen humming to himself. A fresh pot of coffee is waiting, and there’s fresh toast with butter already made.

“What’s all this?” I ask.

Alexan shrugs a little as he pours me some coffee. “Breakfast.”

“Aren’t you working?”

“I will, but our talk yesterday gave me an idea.”

“Our talk?” I raise my eyebrows. “Are you shackling me to the bed before you leave now or something?”

“Not exactly.” He grins at me. I accept the mug and take a long sip of coffee.

“Why do I have a bad feeling?”

“Because you have too little faith in me.” He pushes the plate of toast over. “Eat something.”

I nibble at the corner. “I’d rather you just got into it.”

“Then follow me.” He sweeps away and stalks over to the door that leads into the basement.

“I’m not sure I want to,” I call after him as he descends downstairs. I frown after him. I haven’t been down there many times since moving in, mostly because it’s just storage space and equipment. “You’re not going to torture me, are you?”

“I don’t need to lure you down here to do that,” he calls back. “Come on, quit being afraid.”

“I’m not afraid,” I grumble, clutching my coffee tightly in one hand. “I’m not afraid at all.” Although a part of me is aware that I’m going into the basement with a big violent killer.

The floor is bare concrete, and the walls are water-treated cinderblock. A hot water heater sits in the corner, surrounded by spider webs and ant traps. The furnace is in the other corner, humming softly.

Set in the very middle of the empty space is a folding table. Alexan stands before it, arms spread wide, a big grin on his face.

“Here you go,” he says.

“Are you selling subscriptions or something?” I frown and walk over. A bunch of magazines are stacked in front of him. “What is all this?”

“All this is how you’ll keep your mind off what’s going on and how you’ll make this place feel more like your home.”

I pick up a magazine called Interior Designs. My eyebrows raise. “Explain, please.”

“My place is pretty much finished.” He gestures above us. I’m pretty sure we’re somewhere below the living room at the moment. “The house is in good shape and doesn’t really need any major updates. But the one space that hasn’t been changed much is the basement.”

“You’re saying you want me to do some home renovations?”

“No, I want you to make the basement your own.”

I frown skeptically. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

“Think about it. You can do whatever you want down here. You want to make it a gym? Great, go for it. You want to make it a home theater? A place to do your hobbies? A fancy bar? Anything you want. I’ll give you any resources you need to make this your own.”

I put down the magazine and turn a low circle. The basement is rough, but it’s tidy and it’s a good size. We don’t get water down here, and there aren’t any pest problems as far as I know. I mean, it’s a pretty typical city basement, but it’s in very nice shape.

And with the right vision, it could be all mine.

“That’s really nice,” I say after a long pause. Emotion wells up in my chest. I don’t know the last time anyone ever did something like this for me. I definitely didn’t expect it when I first moved in here with him. It always seemed like this would be his house first and my house second, but now this is my chance to make it really ours.

“I want you to understand how important you are to me,” he says, coming around the table. He tugs me against him. “This is just a room. This is just a gesture. But it’s what the room and the gesture mean. You’re here permanently. I want you here forever. I want you to be my wife, Riley, not just temporarily, not just for some deal our families struck, but because I want you.”

I blink back tears. I’m suddenly so overwhelmed I can barely think. I push myself against him and hug him tightly, and he wraps his big arms around my body, hugging me back. I let out one sudden sob, and that finally breaks the whole dam.

I cry into his chest. I don’t even know why. He must think I’m absolutely insane. I mean, the guy does this super nice thing for me and basically tells me that I’m the most important person in the world to him, and all I can do is cry like a little baby.

Years of repressed emotions spill out. I feel more wanted than I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve been rejected, belittled, and embarrassed by my father for so long that I never really expected to feel anything else. Now suddenly Alexan is giving me pieces of himself, all because he really cares.

It’s too much. And it feels so good.

“I’m okay,” I say after I finally manage to calm down. “I bet that wasn’t the reaction you wanted.”

“No, it wasn’t, but that doesn’t matter.”

“I just want to say that this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I mean it, I really love this.”

“Good.” He wipes my tears away and kisses me. “That means you’ll do it?”

He means more than just that I’ll finish the basement. He means I’ll stay here with him as his wife, and it hits me all at once what that really means.

Living together. Starting a family. Having babies.

Falling in love.

The idea doesn’t seem so insane anymore.

Actually, it seems really, really good.

“Absolutely,” I whisper, fighting tears again. I kiss him to keep myself from sobbing for a second time.

Understanding rushes over me. This is what I’ve been waiting for. This moment, right here. I feel all those emotions suddenly click into place. The world clarifies and has meaning again. At the center of all that is Alexan, my husband, my rock, my protector. He’ll do anything for me, and I have to do anything for him.

I kiss him harder, this time letting lust take me over. I slip my tongue into his mouth, then tug him behind me, desperate to get out of this dirty basement. I drag him all the way up into the bedroom and pull him down into the bed.

“Now this is the reaction I wanted,” he says, grinning a little.

I roll my eyes and pull his hair, dragging his mouth to mine. “Listen to me,” I say softly, kissing him hungrily. “Don’t talk, okay? Just nod.”

He nods slowly, saying nothing.

“Good. Okay.” I breathe in through my nose and blow it out. “I want you to do something for me.”

He nods again.

“I want you to fuck me. And I want you to get me pregnant.”

His eyes widen.

“Just do it, okay? I know we haven’t been careful, but now I just⁠—”

He buries his mouth on mine. I moan into his kiss as the rush of the moment fills me. This is what I need; it’s what I want. He undresses me fast, and we fuck in a desperate, crazy grinding of bliss. All the while, I’m thinking of the moment, of our future together, of all the moments we’ll have after this time. I push into him, wanting more and more, needing him, all of him. I come first, and he’s not far behind, filling me to the brim.

“You do realize you’ll have to give up one of your rooms for the nursery, right?” I ask him, teasing.

He shakes his head. “The baby can have the basement.”

“Alexan.”

“Kidding. I’ll gladly give them all up for our family. I can put an office somewhere else.”

“Good boy.” I kiss him, tugging at his hair. “My good husband.”

“My good girl.” He smiles, arms wrapped around me. “Any idea what you’ll do with your room now?”

“No clue. And you know what? I’ll probably change my mind fifty times between now and when it’s finished. That’s the fun part, right?”

“If you say so.”

He pulls me against him, and I smile to myself, snuggling in tight, already dreaming of what we’ll build together.