CH 68

After All, I Love You So Much

The affection between Ming Qin and Murong Yan has only grown stronger over time, causing irreparable emotional damage to the single woman, Song Shu Qing.

If it weren’t for Murong Yan’s extreme double standards and her unsettling gaze, the woman who was almost blinded by her stare would have already made fun of the sticky couple like gum.

While Murong Yan went out to call for snacks, Ming Qin took the opportunity to get some snacks. Song Shu Qing wrote the word “dog” in big letters on the hand of the person next to her, causing her junior sister to look confused.

“Sister, I have a question for you.” Ming Qin looked at Song Shu Qing, who was holding her hand, and whispered, “Tomorrow is Yan Yan’s birthday. What do you think I should get her as a gift? It seems like she doesn’t lack anything.”

“I’m already about to vomit from being dazzled, and you dare to come and stab me?” Rolling her eyes, Song Shu Qing put her hand on her forehead and wrote on Ming Qin’s hand with a sense of helplessness.

『You little lovebirds, just give her anything and kiss her a few more times, she’ll be very happy』

Ming Qin looked at her palm, puzzled. “What are lovebirds?”

Song Shu Qing had a stomachache, but seeing the eager look on her companion’s face, she reluctantly explained.

『It means lovers』

“But I don’t know if Yan Yan and I are lovers or not. Are we lovers?” Ming Qin tilted her head in thought, her ears turning a little red. “So in senior sister’s eyes, we are lovers…”

“Are you an idiot?!”

With her eyes wide open, Song Shu Qing looked incredulous and wanted to shout, but realized that the person in front of her couldn’t hear her. So she quickly wrote down her thoughts.

『You’re not going to tell me that you haven’t confessed, right?』

“What’s a confession?” Ming Qin furrowed her brows, trying to understand.

『It means to express one’s feelings』

『You’re a stupid donkey』

Song Shu Qing cursed in her heart and poked her disciple’s head hard with her finger, feeling a heavy sense of responsibility.

『I know what you’re going to do tomorrow』

『Make sure you remember tomorrow…』

Before Murong Yan returned to the room, Song Shu Qing had already given all her suggestions to her donkey-brained disciple.

Qin Qin, you idiot.

This is as far as I can help you.

She only hoped that the flowers and cards, which were considered standard in the 21st century for love, would have some use in this era.

The weather was extremely nice on Murong Yan’s birthday.

Ming Qin had been acting mysteriously since early morning, tiptoeing around the room with a chain in her hand, which made Murong Yan, who was still half asleep, feel a little strange.

After lunch, Ming Qin hesitantly asked the woman in her arms who was reading, “Yan Yan, can we go out today?”

“Ah Qin, do you want to leave the palace?” Putting down her book, Murong Yan’s voice was low as she raised her hand to write.

『Where do you want to go?』

『Who do you want to see?』

“No, no! I don’t want to see anyone…”

Ming Qin explained anxiously, “I just want to go somewhere with you, Yan Yan. Will you come with me?” She held the woman’s soft fingertips and pleaded as she kissed the back of her hand.

Seeing her beloved in such a state, Murong Yan’s heart softened. She called for a horse and struggled to remove the iron chain from Ming Qin’s right foot.

She stared blankly at the chain on the ground, feeling inexplicably anxious until Ming Qin put a coat on her and gently took her hand, bringing her back to her senses.

“Shall we go?” Ming Qin asked, smiling patiently and waiting for Murong Yan to take the first step.

Murong Yan took a deep breath and held tightly onto the calloused hand of the person next to her as they stepped out of the room and into the palace.

Even though they got into a carriage, Ming Qin continued to whisper to the coachman, and as the wheels turned, Murong Yan still had no idea where they were going.

It wasn’t until the carriage stopped on Changshou Street that Ming Qin opened the door and jumped out, and Murong Yan finally realized they had arrived at the Hidden Moon Tower.

“Come on, Yan Yan.” Ming Qin reached out her hand, gently holding Murong’s cold fingertips and helping her down from the carriage.

Murong Yan looked at the entrance of the Hidden Moon Tower, feeling a complex mix of emotions as she was there with Ming Qin this time.

Regarding this place where she had been imprisoned for many years, where she first met Ming Qin, and where she almost died, Murong Yan always had an indescribable feeling.

Watching the excited Ming Qin in front of her, Murong Yan sighed helplessly, ordered the other servants to stay behind and obediently let Ming Qin embrace her as they quickly ascended the tall building.

The room looked as if it had never been inhabited before, even though it had been empty for a long time, it was spotless, as if it had been meticulously cleaned, and all the furnishings were just like they were before.

“Wait a minute, Yan Yan.” Ming Qin placed the woman she was holding on the familiar bed and bit her lip, feeling along the outer wall, “Ah, here it is!”

With a happy smile, Ming Qin pulled back her arm that was stretched outside the window, along with a bouquet of flowers wrapped in oil paper.

“Yan Yan, today is your birthday.”

She squatted on the windowsill, just like two years ago when she climbed walls and buildings every day, grinned a little embarrassedly and said, “I asked my senior sister, and she said you would be happy to receive flowers and cards. But I can’t see clearly and can’t write yet, so I can only say it…”

Swiftly jumping down to the ground, Ming Qin came to the bedside and half-knelt to hand the bouquet of flowers to Murong Yan. She scratched her head and organized her words, “Um… Yan Yan, I always get called stupid and silly by my senior sister and master. Every day, I just know how to laugh foolishly… Besides eating good food, I can’t figure out what I really want.”

“I don’t want fame and fortune, and I don’t like overwhelming power. When I was a shadow guard, I watched those people fight for what they wanted, and when they couldn’t get it, they were in agony. I really don’t understand… I’m sorry, I’m just too stupid.”

Taking a deep breath and trying to sort out the surging emotions in her heart, Ming Qin continued, “But now, I think I understand… No, I completely understand that feeling. It’s like walking in the desert, praying for an oasis. It’s that urgent emptiness in the heart that longs to be fulfilled…”

“Yan Yan, my wish is for you…”

Unaware of the person in front of her suddenly accelerating her breathing, Ming Qin was just immersed in her own thoughts, trying to make herself clear about what she wanted to say, “Um… I don’t mean that I want you to be mine, Yan Yan…”

“I want you to be happy, to always be with you. Yan Yan, you deserve all the good things in this world, and you deserve to fly freely… I’m not saying you’re a bird, Yan Yan! If you were a bird, you would be the most beautiful bird…”

“I want to protect you like that and be with you always…”

Ming Qin’s voice became lower and lower as she spoke, and she regretted not practicing her words beforehand. “…Although I’m not as good as before, I’m still good at fighting, and I can carry you up and down wherever you want to go… So, um, that’s why…”

For the first time, the dull-minded shadow guard seemed to understand the meaning of being hesitant.

“Let me stay by your side… please?”

Ming Qin looked up, her throat feeling a bit dry. Against the light, she couldn’t see the expression on the person in front of her clearly, but she blinked hard.

“Yan Yan… let me be with you, okay… ugh!”

Before she could finish her sentence, Ming Qin felt her neck tightly wrapped, and the next second she felt the weight on top of her. She tightly hugged Murong Yan, who had pounced forward.

“Yan Yan! What’s wrong?” Ming Qin felt the woman lying on top of her trembling and breathing heavily, and couldn’t help feeling anxious. “Don’t you like it here?”

“Let’s go home, okay? Don’t be afraid.”

Regretting her recklessness, Ming Qin knew that the woman sometimes had nightmares. She had noticed that Murong Yan muttered under her breath about the Hidden Moon Tower, where she had been imprisoned for years, when they slept together.

Originally, the naive shadow guard just wanted to use this opportunity to create more beautiful memories for the woman she cherished, but she didn’t expect Murong Yan to tremble unexpectedly instead of being happy.

Blaming herself for being foolish, Ming Qin hugged the woman in her arms and prepared to get up and go downstairs. However, she felt her collar being pulled. Murong Yan leaned against her neck and shook her head uncontrollably, indicating that she did not want to leave the room.

“Yan Yan, we should go. Aren’t you afraid?” Ming Qin asked with concern, but she didn’t get any other response from the woman. She sat with Murong Yan on the bed, gently shaking her as a way of comfort. “Then, let’s stay a little longer, just a little longer.”

With one hand clutching the shadow guard’s collar and the other tightly holding a delicate bouquet of flowers, Murong Yan leaned against Ming Qin’s shoulder, repeatedly muttering something under her breath.

Feeling the breaths on her collarbone but unable to hear the words, Ming Qin felt very troubled. She had never missed her hearing so much before.

She turned her head and blinked her eyes, and in her unexpectedly clear vision, she saw a copper mirror used for grooming, reflecting the two of them cuddling together.

In the quiet world, Ming Qin stared fixedly at the woman’s opening and closing mouth in the mirror, her body stiffening.

It seemed as though Ming Qin couldn’t comprehend Murong Yan’s lip movements, or perhaps she simply wished to etch that scene into her mind. She gazed at it in disbelief for a long time.

It was only three words.

The only thing that Murong Yan kept repeating were those three words.

Yet they made her heart bloom like a flower.

In this quiet world, it felt as if she could hear the roar of a rushing river and the explosion of fireworks.

Even though they were unfamiliar words, they always made Ming Qin’s heart feel hot.

It was those words that allowed her to find the perfect expression for her turbulent emotions, and endless devotion to the woman in her arms.

Feeling her blood rush to her head, Ming Qin opened her mouth to respond.

“Yan Yan…I love you too.”

With a hoarse voice, she dared not look down at Murong Yan’s expression, but kissed her hair, repeating the words over and over again as if to fill the time they had missed and make up for the time the woman had waited for her in her foggy understanding.

It wasn’t until she felt the warm tears soak into her collar.

“Why are you crying?” Ming Qin, at a loss, quickly pulled out a handkerchief and gently wiped away the tears that traced down the woman’s face. “Don’t cry, okay?”

“Ah Qin, can you see clearly?” Murong Yan looked up meekly, trying to control the palpitations in her chest that came in waves.

Nodding hastily, Ming Qin replied, “I can see clearly, so don’t cry, Yan Yan.”

Noticing the rosy tint under her lover’s eyes, Ming Qin spoke softly, “It’ll make me sad to see you cry…it’s your birthday today, so you should be happy.”

“…Is that why Ah Qin said that to make me happy, because today is my birthday? As a birthday gift.” Murong Yan released Ming Qin’s hand, her eyes still moist, and lovingly touched Ming Qin’s slightly reddened left ear, speaking one word at a time.

“I wasn’t just trying to make you happy…”

“Birthday gifts are usually flowers, but Yan Yan can ask for anything.” Straightforward, Ming Qin leaned into the woman’s hand, with an incredibly sincere expression. “Whatever Yan Yan wants, I can give it to you.”

Whether it was flowers, treasures, or people, if Yan Yan wanted it, she would give it to her.

“Then…I want Ah Qin.”

Pressing her forehead against the shadow guard’s, feeling their breaths mingle, Murong Yan’s heart was filled with ecstasy in this space that had once caused her so much hatred. “Every year, every year, all I want is Ah Qin.”

Her lips moved silently, whispering.

“Okay.”

“Everything I have is for Yan Yan, only for Yan Yan.”

Faced with such a simple request, or rather, her own desire, Ming Qin promised without hesitation, her tone still solemn.

Unconsciously staring at the glossy lip color in front of her, the shadow guard’s eyelids trembled slightly, hesitating, “Then, Yan Yan…can I also…?”

Their breaths mingled and entangled.

“Can I…?”

Feeling an inexplicable hunger, not from her stomach, but from the depths of her soul.

“Hmm?” Murong Yan indulgently brushed aside the strands of hair on the person’s forehead and hummed encouragingly.

Subconsciously licking her lips, Ming Qin felt a bit uncomfortable with the sudden unfamiliar impulse in her heart. She hesitated before speaking, “I want to touch the lip color on your lips.”

She wanted to devour the person in front of her and fill the emptiness within herself.

“But Yan Yan just applied it…it will smudge and be eaten away.”

“Even so…is it okay?”

Stammering, the person blushed slightly and obediently bit her lower lip, waiting for her beloved’s permission.

Surprised by the person in front of her revealing her desires for the first time, Murong Yan blinked her eyes and took a slight breath.

She hooked her hands around Ming Qin’s neck and leaned back, taking her ever-obedient shadow guard with her. “Ah Qin can do whatever she wants…”

“After all, I love you so much.”

After all, we love each other.