Chapter 31

ANNA

The drive, as always, feels endless. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

“Isn’t there a way to make this drive shorter?” I ask James.

He grins and shakes his head. “Unless we move back to Sun Peaks, I don’t think there’s much we can do, A.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t you have a private plane or something?”

His laughter fills the car, causing Olivia to look up.

“Daddy, why are you laughing?” she asks.

“Your momma’s just being silly, sweetie.” Her eyes light up at the mention of a joke. “Momma?” she asks, hoping I’ll explain.

“It’s nothing, Lovebug. I’m just not a fan of these long drives.”

“But I like them. I get to watch ~Paw Patrol~ and spend time with you and Daddy when he’s not working. These trips are fun,” she says, making me feel a pang of guilt.

James gives me a knowing look. I realize she’s right. Our quality time together is usually on the road or at night.

When James gets home from work, it’s dinner and then bedtime.

“We’ll have more fun together soon, Lovebug. I promise.”

I intend to keep that promise. We’ll go to the zoo, or swimming—whatever Dr. Jasmine says she can do. I want her to have happy memories during these treatments.

“Tomorrow, we fight the cancer warriors?” she asks.

“Absolutely, tomorrow you’ll kick them right in the face!” James exclaims, punching the air.

“Daddy, hitting isn’t nice!” she scolds him. I can’t help but laugh, and James joins in.

“What’s so funny?” she asks.

“Sweetie, you have to kick those nasty little cancer warriors right where it hurts. They’re trying to take you away from Momma and Daddy.

“You have to fight them as hard as you can!” I explain.

“I don’t want to go away,” she says softly. Her voice is filled with sadness.

“We know, sweetheart. That’s why we need the medicine. It will help. The chemo warriors will help you fight, but—”

“…I have to help them too,” she finishes for me.

“That’s my brave girl,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. I glance in the rearview mirror to see the determination on her face. She makes a small fist and raises it in the air. That’s my girl.

The drive passes quickly. We sing and laugh at our terrible singing. James tries to outdo my awful singing, but neither of us can carry a tune. Olivia’s laughter is the best sound in the world.

~I hope we get to hear it for many more years.~

~

I quickly push away the thought that creeps into my mind.

~I can’t think like that. I just can’t.~

~

We pass the Sun Peaks town sign while playing “I spy.” The bright sign with a sun on top of a mountain snaps me back to reality.

I hate being back here. It feels like tempting fate. But if it’s what I have to do for my baby girl, then so be it.

“Momma?” Lovebug asks.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“Are we going to Grandpa’s or Poppa’s?” she asks for the hundredth time. I’ve answered this question so many times, but Dad asked if we could stay with them while we’re in town.

It’s his way of trying to make up for the past. Being there when I wake up, creating new memories. I hope it works.

“We’re staying with Poppa and Gigi, Lovebug.”

“But will we see them?” she asks.

We’re a bit early. “I think we’ll get there a little early,” I tell her.

My phone rings—it’s my mom.

“Hi, Mom,” I say.

“I’ll never get used to hearing that,” she says cheerfully, making me smile. It feels like just yesterday that I couldn’t stand her. Now I understand that everything she did was for me.

Just like I would do for my baby girl.

“Well, you better get used to it,” I tease.

“Hey, watch it. That’s your mother you’re talking to,” she chides me, laughing.

“Sorry, Mom. What’s up?”

She sighs. “I was just wondering when you’ll be here. I can’t wait to see you all.”

That’s unexpected.

“We’re early, so I thought we’d surprise Dad. School lets out in about fifteen minutes, and we’re half an hour away. Liv wanted to see him.”

“Yes!! Poppa!” Olivia shrieks into the phone.

“I thought it would be a nice surprise,” I tell my mom, shrugging.

“It’s a great idea. That treatment is so tough. I took tomorrow off, so if you need to cry, I’ll be there,” she assures me.

Tears well up in my eyes at the thought of not having to face this alone. I’m still getting used to not being alone. James feels like a part of me.

But sometimes we both need to break down, and our parents are the ones who should be there to pick us up. Knowing they’re there is comforting.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I tell her, my voice choked with emotion.

“Absolutely. You’re my daughter, and I’ll always be there for you. Whether it’s babysitting Liv while you grab a bite to eat or being a shoulder to cry on, I’m there. Always.”

A tear slips down my cheek. I can feel James’s eyes on me, and I turn to look at him.

“Now you’ve made me cry,” I confess to her.

“Well, sorry about that. But I should’ve been there for you a long time ago. From now on, I’ll always try to be there for you. I couldn’t be there physically for you in the past, but now I can.

“So, you’ll just have to deal with it, young lady,” she teases.

A laugh escapes my lips, but it’s tinged with sadness.

“Well, we’re almost at the school—we’ll see you later, Mom. I love you,” I say quickly as the school comes into view.

“Love you too,” she replies and ends the call.

Once we reach the school, I turn to Olivia. “What do you think, Lovebug. Ready to see Poppa?” I ask her, grinning widely.

She nods vigorously. “I miss Poppa,” she says.

“Me too, Livvy. Let’s go,” I tell her. I step out of the car and help her out of her seat.

I take her hand as we walk into the school. It’s Olivia’s first time here, and I have to say, for a school that just let out, it’s eerily quiet.

“Which room?” she asks.

“It’s room one-zero-zero,” I tell her, spelling out the number. She’s only three—if she could recognize the whole number, she’d be a prodigy.

I find myself marveling at how smart my little girl is as I watch her sprint toward the room. I chase after her—she can’t just barge into a room.

“I found it!” she squeals, catching me off guard. She tugs at the door and it almost opens.

I rush toward her as she tries to open it again and this time, it swings open.

~Damn it!~

~

“Olivia!” I shout, my voice laced with anger.

“Poppa!” she yells and dashes toward him.

I stumble into the classroom, panting, and find ten pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Shit!” I exclaim, apparently out loud.

“Swear jar!” Olivia chimes in, snapping me out of my daze.

I shake my head and glance at my dad, who already has Olivia in his arms and a smile on his face. She’s giggling in his arms, completely unashamed.

~She’s so much like James…~

“I thought school ended at three-thirty?” I mumble, shaking my head.

“It does. This is homeroom,” someone clarifies.

“Shit.”

“Swear jar, Momma!” Olivia shrieks.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” I apologize, looking my Dad in the eye.

He shakes his head. “It’s just homeroom, baby girl,” he says, walking toward me. Knowing it’s only homeroom eases my nerves. We’re not really interrupting—homeroom is always a waste of time.

He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug.

“Damn, she’s hot,” someone comments, earning grins from the other guys.

“Mr. Williams?” another asks.

He turns to his students. “Yes, Charlie?”

“Who’s the hottie?” Charlie inquires.

“Watch your language, please,” he requests, gesturing to Olivia.

“What’s a hottie?” Olivia asks. I extend my arms to take her.

“Come here, Liv. Poppa is working,” I say, giving Dad an apologetic look.

He shakes his head.

“Poppa? Is that your daughter?” a girl asks.

“Which one?” Dad teases, daring the students to guess.

“God, this is embarrassing,” I mutter.

“Well?” some of them ask impatiently.

“This beautiful ‘hottie,’ as you put it, is my daughter,” he says, kissing my forehead.

Their jaws drop. “No way.”

“What, you didn’t think I could produce such a good-looking kid?” he jokes.

“No—but how old were you? And who’s her mom?” they ask.

“Oh, you all know my mom,” I tell them proudly.

“She’s the most beautiful woman who has ever walked these halls. He just swept her off her feet,” I tell them, wrapping my arms around him.

Their eyes are filled with questions.

“Who was the most popular cheerleader at this school? Who in this town is successful, a bit of a bitch, but still graceful?” I ask them.

“Rebecca Johnson! She’s a famous interior designer and she’s still fucking hot,” a guy says.

“Yes, that’s my mom. And that’s just gross,” I tell him, shaking my head in disgust.

“Good job Mr. W!” he says, high-fiving his buddies.

“Gross,” I repeat. Dad laughs.

“Well, Liv wanted to surprise you, so now I guess we’ll go see Mom.”

“Liv?” I ask, reaching for her.

“Where are we going now?” she asks.

“Who did you miss, besides Poppa?” I ask, crouching down to her level.

“Gigi!!” she shrieks, jumping up and down.

“Shall we go see her?”