April
I wake abruptly in the middle of the night. My heart pounds in my chest as I try to catch my breath. I had a nightmare.
In my dream I was back at the hospital with Jamal but this time he hadn't woken up. The doctor gave us a sad look before pulling the sheet over his head.
The next part was a blur. All I remember is siting at the open casket funeral and then mom drinking again and yelling at dad. The last thing I remember is Jamal's ghost asking me why didn't I save him.
I knew that it was a dream but it felt so real. I had to make sure. Tossing the covers off I climb out of bed.
I open my door and quietly make my way over to Jamal's room. I slowly push his door open.
When I see the rise and fall of Jamal chest as he sleeps I let out a sigh of relief. My brother is okay. Now I can get some sleep before class.
I missed another day of school yesterday. We were all so busy trying to make sure Jamal could come home. I texted Aden and told him I wouldn't be there. He said we got our second writing assignment for class but besides that nothing special happened.
I missed Aden. It had only been a day since we say each other, but I missed him. It was always such a disappointment when we didn't get time together.
I step back and start to close the door. Jamal's body shifts as he turns my way.
"April?" Jamal calls
"Yeah it me. I was just checking on you. You can go back to sleep."
"April what's wrong?"
Jamal pushes himself up into a siting position. I feel guilty for waking him up. He really should be resting.
"Nothing." I answer.
"April."
I sigh and walk into the room. I sit down on the edge of the bed with my legs folded.
"I had a bad dream. You died and everything kind of went to hell." I say playing with my hands in my lap.
"April I'm fine. You heard the doctors. They said the rate at which I recovered was a miracle."
"I know, it was just really scary to see you like that. I don't know what I do if anything ever happened to you or Keith. You guys are such a big part of my life it's hard to believe there was ever a time where you weren't."
"Come here, April."
Jamal says opening his arms. I crawl over to him as hug him. It's almost like we are little kids again and I'm crawling into his bed after having another nightmare about about the boogieman.
Jamal hugs me and this is the older brother I missed. My strong protector who was there when I needed him.
"And I hate that you made us fight." I say.
"I made us fight? I was the one who got punched in the face if memory serves me correctly."
"Yeah and you deserved it. Given the chance I go back and probably hit you twice as hard."
I didn't care how hurt Jamal was now. He was out of line then and what he said really hurt me.
"I'm sorry April. I never should have talked about you like that. I know your not one of those thirsty hoes who always throw themselves at men. You better than any of those woman. I should have never compared you to those filthy b!tches." Jamal say.
He says that but I know he sleeps around with girls like that. Jamal isn't quite man whore that Keith is but he's no saint either. I hate how guys sleep with woman but then look down on them afterword and call them hoes. It takes two to tangle, but that's an argument for another day.
"And I'm still mad at you for what you did to Aden." I say.
"I said sorry."
I pulled back to look at Jamal. I really don't think he understands. "But you hurt him, Jamal. You really hurt him. I never thought you could- I never thought that you would-"
"April I'm sorry."
Jamal leans forward and places his hands on my arms. I see the remorse in his eyes.
"You could have killed him. When I saw what you did to him, I hated you for it. I've never hated anyone before but in that moment I really hated you." I say.
I can see how my words hurt him. It's good. I need him to understand that what he did was wrong. He has to know that he can never do that again.
"I'm sorry April. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you." Jamal said.
"Not me, him."
Jamal paused for a second. He stared at me. "You really like him don't you."
"Yes, I like him. He's sweet, kind and thoughtful. Aden's a true friend but that's not the point here. The point is that you attacked someone you knew couldn't fight back."
"You're right April. I shouldn't have touched Aden. I just get so worried when there's someone new around you. You're my April and I have to make sure your safe, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. As long as he's your friend then I promise you I won't touch him. I figure out a way to make up for what I did."
I stare at Jamal. I try to see if he really understands the point I'm trying to get across. I hope he does. I want things to go back to how they were before. Maybe that makes me naive but I really want to believe that my brothers are good people. Flawed, yes, but at the heart of it I don't want to believe they are monsters.
Jamal tugs my arm and I allow myself to fall down next to him. We lay next to each other and I try to find it in my heart to forgive all that has happened between us, but I don't know if will ever be the same. Some things are like broken mirror. No matter how hard you try to fix it you still see the cracks in the reflection.
"Remember when we were young and we'd build tents out of blanket." Jamal asked.
I nod. " Yeah we were so poor back then all three of us shared a room. Keith would tell scary stories and I always ended sleeping next to you because he made me afraid of the dark."
"Yeah you were so cute back then."
"Back then? I'll have you know that I'm still cute to this very day." I say.
I lay down against his pillow. I could always go back to my room but I'm afraid I'll have a nightmare again. After that terrifying dream I just wanted to be close. I couldn't get that image of him laying inside of that coffin out of my head.
Besides Jamal's bed is big enough and he's my brother so it's not like he try anything.
"I don't know maybe your cuteness is starting to wear off." Jamal says.
"Shut up." I say hitting him in the arm. I'm already half a sleep at this point.
Jamal chuckles and lays down on his other pillow. It is good to be able to joke around with him again. A few minutes pass and in my sleep I hear a whispering voice.
"You'll always be beautiful to me April."
I open my eyes and stare at Jamal. His back is facing me and he is already a sleep. I lay back down and turn so that I am facing away. I pull the covers tight around me.
Whatever I heard must have been a dream.
ð°ð°ð°
Author's note: Okay so dreaming the death of someone you love is absolutely one of the most terrifying things ever. April goes to Jamal later because it's what she use to do when they were younger. They use to share the bed a lot and she's probably trying to go back to that more innocent time.
Whether or not Jamal sees it that way is a whole other story...
Ps: shout out to my readers who were with me when I started this story. You guys kept me going
And what guys think
Jamal
Or
Keith maybe...
Idk who do you think should play the brothers?
Be advised that if you Jr I'ma have ice cub be the daddy for no real reason other than I think it be funny for Aden to have to deal with Ice Cube as April's Daddy if they end up together
As always peace and love until next timeð