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two years later
Mallory
Bar hopping was an unexpected blessing in disguise. Stepping into new worlds, where thousands of comforts awaited, was unexpectedly novel. Glowing hues of blue and brown cast over the floor, from the thousands of bottles stacked behind in shelves, and the cheerful ambience after a night of housing people was always welcome.
My educational aspirations for life in New York fell flat. I didn't finish my undergraduate degree in finance. I didn't get my teaching degree either. When I got to the crux of my studies, the touch and go, epiphanies struck me like lightning in the middle of a storm. I knew that this wasn't where I wanted my life to go anymore.
So I dropped out of university. It was hard at first; having barely any formal education after high school didn't offer many job prospects. But I listened to myself.
Cleo was moonlighting as my roommate while she got her flat fixed up in LA. When Kennedy and Tony's wedding ended disastrously two years ago, I fled from home with Cleo, who swore that she wasn't going to leave me 'alone in some strange city'. I cut off contact with everyone but Cleo and Kennedy.
Cleo and I endeavoured to make our private lives in LA. I knew that one day, I'd reach where I was supposed to be.
As I sipped at my drink, immersed in my thoughts about the past, Cleo walked up to me. I admired her look once again; heeled books, dark makeup and a trailing fishtail braid down her back. "Having fun?" Cleo asked playfully, batting her eyelashes at me.
Cleo managed to get me out of my room for once; we were visiting a new nightclub called Central. I was grieved to lose Kennedy tonight, who was preoccupied with her and Tony's kids. But Cleo and I were tearing down our walls tonight, and I was so grateful that she'd thrown me my opportunity, my lifeboat.
I laughed, wrapping my arm around Cleo's shoulders as we swayed to the music. I tipped my drink down my throat, drowning myself in the atmosphere. "With you, always." I mumbled into her hair, feeling the heady effects of a light buzz.
For some reason, I was thinking about Nina again. Maybe it was all these thoughts about the past two years.
Nina reached out a few months after the disaster wedding two years ago. I accepted her olive branch because our friendship extended far beyond the pettiness of fighting over one guy. She sought therapy to face everything head-on; I followed suit.
Through our mutual struggles, Nina and I became close again. And I was recovering my old university friend.
Cleo never forgave Nina. They met once a year ago; Cleo refused to tell me what happened that night, but they stopped all forms of contact afterwards.
The most important thing I learned over the past six years of my life was that nothing is constant. Everything in my life upturned itself with Reid's crash. So I redefined my life into what it was today. I was still struggling with the aftermath, but I was here. That was enough.
After I left Tony's wedding, I started the search for my absentee wealthy parents, who left me with my aunt years ago in high school. I reconciled with them in New York, but we never became close. After feeling unwanted for so many years, I couldn't pretend to make up the vision of a happy family again. My aunt was all the family I needed.
I didn't think about Reid as often as I expected to. Out of sight, out of mind. I tried my hand at dating afterwards, but it never worked out. When I loved someone, I loved them with my mind, my heart, my soul. When he left, I kept a fragment of his memory with me always.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Cleo asked curiously, tapping my forehead to emphasise her point.
I batted her hand away, giving her an embarrassed smile. "Nothing important. What's the plan for tonight?"
"Hooking you up with someone. You should find someone to dance with." Cleo told me matter-of-factly. Her would-be casual voice was at odds with the way she flopped onto a bar stool, uncaring of the way her short lacy dress crumpled.
"Who do you recommend?" I offered helpfully, already sensing her motives for this conversation. I knew they weren't centred around me innocently dancing with someone.
Cleo mimed shooting finger guns at me, flashing her trademark charming smile; the magnetizing one that attracted girls and guys to her like flies. "Give me a second."
She searched the room of people with her eyes, then pointed to a man leaning on the wall opposite to us. We could only see his back, but he was tall and lithe, with long legs and a carriage that indicated confidence. "Him." Cleo directed, a smile playing around her mouth.
I eyed the man and tipped the rest of my drink down my throat, courage surging up my chest. I brushed my upper lip with my fingertips. "Fine."
I walked over, ignoring the increasing pace of my heartbeat as I stood next to him. I made sure that I looked perfect before I approached him. My hair was curled and messy to perfection, my dress arranged to accentuate all the right place. I'd pull him in, like a fly to honey.
"Hi." I greeted, tilting my head as I tried to make eye contact with him. But he wouldn't look in my direction; his body language was turned away from mine. "You look good tonight."
When I saw Reid turn to face me, everything slowed down. He flashed me a charming smile, looking brighter than I remembered. "Thanks, I know."
My breath caught in my throat as my eyes roamed his face. My brain was switched off; feelings rushing up into my heart in reckless tidal waves. He looked the same, as though the last two years hadn't dragged by, but my mind didn't dare to believe he was there, standing in front of me.
I missed Reid so much that my heart physically ached. Years of floating in New York's charisma didn't solve anything. When I saw Reid's eyes, that broken piece of my heart began to heal.
"How have you been?" Reid asked softly, his eyes fixed on mine. Hearing his voice woke me up from my reverie. I brushed my hair away from my face. I was so annoyed at myself for falling hook, line and sinker for Reid's charm again.
I abandoned my drink to a table nearby as I faced my ex. "Cleo set this up, didn't she?" I fumed, staring at the centre of the floor where most people were crowded. Anger pulsed in my veins, and I started picturing exactly how I was going to make Cleo regret this.
"Hey." Reid reassured me. He put his hand on my shoulder cautiously, tilting my chin up with a kind of softness that I remembered but wasn't used to, so that I was looking into his eyes. "It's not Cleo's fault. I asked her where you were." He tilted his head, giving me a little smile like this was an inside joke between us. "She gave up on discouraging me."
"Are you being serious?" I said furiously, swatting his hand away from my face. "Why won't you let me forget you?"
"Because I don't want you to forget me." Reid told me boldly. I stared at him in frustration, realising that speaking to him was pointless. So I stormed off.
I heard his footsteps follow me to Cleo's spot on the dance floor. She stared at me, looking confused as I stopped in my tracks, nearly tripping Reid up. I dragged them both to a corner of the room, so that I could talk to both of them together. They stood side by side, looking at me like a pair of children caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
I faced Reid first, informing him coolly, "Leave me alone. I'm not interested in whatever game Cleo's got you into."
"It's not a game, Mallory." Cleo protested, and she didn't shrivel when I glared at her. She just glared back. "You've been sad for ages. I thought this was just a phase of heartbreak, but you're not getting over him."
"Reid clearly got over me if he can speak to me like nothing happened." I argued. He stared at me, leaning back against the wall.
He shook his head. "That's what you think?"
"I know it's the truth." I retorted stubbornly.
Reid glanced at Cleo, silently asking her a question with his eyes. "Can you give us a second?"
Cleo rolled her eyes, strutting away in her stilettos. "When you're done eye-fucking, come find me."
Before I could scoff at Cleo, she was gone. I was left alone with Reid, who was looking at me like we hadn't seen each other in ten years. My eyes took in every single thing I knew of his; each feature yielded traces of two years passed by. His expressive eyes, the aristocratic slope of his nose. A little older, perhaps more serious, but Reid was the same at his core. He was still mine, or he wouldn't have come looking for me.
I had no idea how it happened, but I reached for Reid simultaneously as his hands brushed my chin, cupping my face. He dipped his body to brush his mouth against mine, moving his hands so that his fingers could bury themselves in my hair.
"I missed you so much." he murmured, kissing along my jaw until his mouth found my neck, kissing at the point that he knew made my knees weak. "So, so much."
I laughed under my breath, managing to breathe out, "I missed you too," before Reid found a spot that made my eyes roll back into my head.
When I looked back at Reid, the grin curving his mouth, making his eyes light up, made my heart stop in its tracks. His hand found mine, entwining our fingers together. "Come with me." he said softly, but I knew it was a request. And when I nodded, he led us away, out of the bar, into the freezing cold air of New York's winter nights.
When my teeth started chattering, Reid took off his jacket and slid it over my shoulders, gently pulling my arms through the sleeves. I could've done it myself but truthfully, I wanted to feel his touch again; the striking electricity that raced up my skin at every touch was intoxicating.
I was dizzy with euphoria as Reid guided me into a flat, through doors and up a staircase, through a front door until we reached a dark, empty room with a bed on the opposite wall.
Reid tugged us into the space abruptly, shutting the door behind us as he pulled me in again, finding my mouth as his body moulded to mine. "Is this okay?" he asked in between hungry kisses, letting out a cut groan as I gently tugged on his earlobe with my teeth.
"More than okay." I smiled into the side of his face. I tore myself away from Reid, ignoring his questioning glance as I led us over to the bed.
The curiosity in his eyes melted away into lust. I stood between his legs, and he wrapped one arm around my back, his hand skimming down my back as he guided my mouth to his again, cupping my chin with his other hand. A sliver of flame fled down my chest into my stomach, like a sword swallower's sword as I kissed Reid fiercely.
We were never soft. As his mouth tracked across my neck, I felt the punishing pressure of his mouth as he sucked and lightly brushed his teeth over the spots, creating love bites. Then he'd lave his tongue over the bruised skin of my collarbones, like an apology. I wound my fingers into his hair, my eyes fluttering shut.
The fire was more than scalding now. It wound between us steadily, as Reid pulled me underneath him onto the bed, his fingers teasing the buttons of my top. His hips slowly rocked into mine, with an agonisingly slow pace.
"Promise you'll never let me go." I gasped, my voice unfamiliarly sounding desperate as Reid kissed my earlobe, tracing his tongue along the shell of my ear. I wrapped my legs around him, tightening my arms around his back, shutting my eyes from the simultaneous pleasure I experienced and the pain in my heart. "Promise me that you'll never leave again."
I felt his pace falter as Reid listened to me speak, then I felt his hand cupping my face. I opened my eyes to his own brown eyes looking back at me. "I swear." he promised quietly. "As long as you want me, I'm yours. Are you mine?"
I choked out a pathetic sounding laugh. "I was always yours. You just didn't know it."
His eyes tenderly traced my body, from my eyes and hair, down the lace edges of my bra and underwear, to the lines of my waist and legs. I felt so beautiful when he looked at me like that. "But do you want this?"
I gave him a firm nod. "I swear, Reid, if you don't give me this right now-"
Reid cut me off with a kiss, and I clung to him. "This is always yours." he whispered against my lips. He reached behind me and unclipped my bra, pulling it off and throwing the lace thing to the floor. I gripped the edges of his shirt, ripping it off his body.
His arm curved below my neck as he kissed me, moulding his chest to mine. His mouth moved lower, down the curve of my neck to latch onto my nipple, his other hand teasing the other breast. A moan escaped me, despite my best efforts to stifle any noise, and I felt the vibration of Reid's chuckle permeate my body.
"Don't laugh." I complained. "I've been dreaming about this for the last two years."
He looked up at me, eyes sober. "This? Not me?"
I rolled my eyes. "Well, it could only ever be you, right?"
"Do you mean that?"
I raised my eyes to meet his, and I couldn't stop the mistrust from sinking into my heart when it came. "Are you just telling me what I want to hear?"
Reid sighed and rolled over the bed to sit next to me, his back against the headboard. I tried not to look below his neck. He looked like the most aristocratic, beautiful painting in that moment. "Sounds like we need to talk before things go further."
I didn't want to admit it, but he was right.
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