Nina
Being friends with Reid was a glowing, novel situation to me; he was a glimmer of joy that accompanied me wherever I went. We spoke every day on the phone, and I felt Reid's trust in me increasing with each day.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and my lips were redder, my eyes golden and perfect. Every flaw that I remembered was carefully scraped away, by my belief in this boy's ability to fix me.
After two weeks of daily conversations, I decided it was time to visit his parents' home. Previously, Reid's shared apartment with Mallory was off-limits to me. It was hard to shake my old fear; that Reid would remember how much he hated me before the crash.
I was caught off guard when Tony answered the front door instead of his cousin. Tony's expression blew wide open with surprise when he saw me on his parents' porch. "You didn't say you were coming."
I flushed, trying to pick my brain for a suitable answer. "I'm here to check on Reid. Just to see if he's doing okay."
Tony's eyes narrowed. "Well, Reid didn't mention anything about you coming here."
"I didn't realise that I need an invitation to see my friends." I countered defensively. Tony sighed and stepped away from the door. I brushed past him, wondering how his sweetness could give way to the stiff, awkward manner he showed me now.
My eyes roamed the unfamiliar hallway in front of me. Snapshots of the boys lined the cabinets, years spent in happiness. My heart turned in my chest every time that I looked into Reid's eyes.
I heard someone's footfall on the staircase. Reid came into view, obviously having just woken up from his messy hair. He didn't notice me at first, staring at Tony questioningly. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but then his eyes shifted to me.
Reid tried to cover his surprise with a smile. "Hi."
I tried to ignore the mixed feelings rushing in me from hearing his voice. "Hey. Can we talk?"
"Sure." Reid said, looking from me to Tony. His cousin's expression betrayed his suspicion of me. Reid looked concerned for a moment, but then he gestured for me to follow him back up the stairs.
Reid opened the door to his bedroom. I stepped inside cautiously. He sat down on his single bed, and I stared at the space he'd left at the end. Gingerly, I sat on the edge, feeling out of place in this private section of Reid's life.
"I wanted to talk to you, so this was pretty good timing." Reid said, giving me another broad smile.
I smiled back, fiddling with a loose thread on my jeans. "What do you want to talk about?"
"We're friends, right?" Reid asked directly.
I felt like I was sinking through the air. "Right."
"And friends go out together." Reid probed.
I sighed, hoping he'd get to the point. "And what, Reid?"
"Do you want to get coffee with me tomorrow?" he asked, his eyes searching mine. My heart almost stopped in my chest. "Just as a friend thing, obviously. I'm going on a date with Mallory tomorrow." he clarified.
It felt like he'd pricked me with a needle. And I was beginning to bleed out. But he instantly realised his mistake, from the horror that crept across his expression. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did."
I forced a smile, regaining my footing. "It's fine. I'd really like that, Reid."
My bad luck never came in halves. When I left Reid's house, Cleo was getting out of her car. She shut the door, noticing me, and approached with a wary expression.
I glared at her suspiciously. We never got on well. Cleo had an agenda against me, but she pretended in our group of friends that nothing was ever wrong. Mallory was particularly unaware, despite her previously being close to both of us. But I knew that Mallory would choose Cleo over me.
Once we were close enough, Cleo's eyes ran down my figure, assessing me. I stood my ground on Reid's front porch, anticipating our oncoming battle. Her sharp eyes darted up to my own, as she pushed her sleek black hair behind her shoulders.
"You're visiting Reid at this time of day?" Cleo asked me, arching her fine eyebrows.
I folded my arms, avoiding eye contact with Cleo as I said defensively, "Yes, is that a problem? We're friends."
"I don't remember Reid talking to you before the accident. Ever." she said suspiciously. Cleo was generally a blunt person, but she was being careful with me; avoiding outright confrontation.
Her tentativeness emboldened me to pretend that I wasn't lying to myself, or to Reid. "Things change." I told her coolly.
Cleo sighed, closing her eyes and frowning as though she were in pain. "Listen, there's something I need to get off my chest. I'm not visiting Reid."
I raised my eyebrows in wonder. "Are you here for Tony?"
"I'm not." Cleo sighed. "I was hoping I'd catch Mallory here, but I'm beginning to realise that I shouldn't look for her here."
Ice slivered through my veins at the mention of Mallory. "Well, she's clearly not here." I snapped.
Cleo rolled her eyes, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder. "Good to know. Then I'll be on my way."
She turned to leave, but I couldn't get her expression out of my head. Cleo looked troubled, and I needed to know why, because for a reason that only a higher power knew, I was worried. As she took her first step away from me, I reached for her wrist.
I was shocked when Cleo gave it to me without a fight, but that only pulled my curiosity further to the surface. "What's wrong?" I asked in concern.
Cleo clenched her jaw, looking at me imperiously. Her expression could have been construed as derisive. "That's none of your business."
"Is it something to do with Reid?" In response to my question, her eyebrows pinched even closer together. "So it is." I interpreted, and I knew I was right when Cleo didn't protest. "I'm close to Reid. He trusts me, so you should say what you know." I demanded. "I won't tell him if it's not important."
"I don't want to trust you." she admitted flatly.
"I don't think you have a choice." I declared, echoing her bluntness.
Cleo thought to herself, her sharply drawn eyes swirling with worries in tides that I couldn't see past. "Fine," she sighed, "Reid wasn't the only person involved in the car crash."
"How do you know that?" I asked sharply. My skin slowly became overcame by a prickling, thorn-like sensation. It crawled up my arms, snaring my senses, stifling my thoughts.
And as it came, the blow fell upon me.
"When I left his hospital room, Jada told me that a man was parked in a nearby car. Reid crashed into him before crashing into a tree."
"Fuck." I muttered, a dawning sense of horror overwhelming me. "Is he alive?"
"Jada got a call this morning from the hospital. He died this morning from his injuries." Cleo swallowed. Her eyes were her most prominent facial feature; darkly coloured and wide; the freckles on her nose stark against her pale skin. "You can't tell Reid."
"Are you crazy? The damage that the crash wrecked on his life is enough."
I was confused and scared. I had no idea how this was going to impact our lives. All of us.
Cleo's eyes filled with tears. I thought I was hallucinating at first, because Cleo never cried. She was tough as nails. I stared at her in shock, unable to think of how to deal with this.
"Sorry." Cleo sniffled, brushing an arm across her eyes to stem her tears. "It feels like nothing can go wrong in halves. I try to keep us together and I fail spectacularly at every turn. Reid and Mallory aren't talking, Tony's miserable, Nick's even more reserved than before, and I'm one step away from collapsing."
"Where am I on that list?" I asked, wondering if she'd take my question the wrong way.
She laughed pitifully. "You're the only one who's sane right now."
I stared at Cleo's pink-stained cheeks and red eyes. "Then why do I feel like I'm not sane?"
Cleo turned to me, studying me. "Why would you say that?"
"I'd rather not answer."
"Hey, that's okay." she said seriously. Cleo held her arms out to me and I stared at them, wondering what her motive was, this time. But my gaze darted up to her face, and those eyes were earnest with their intentions. Cleo wanted comfort from me, and I didn't want to say no.
Cleo's arms were warmer than I expected when she wrapped them around my neck. I was taller than her, so she reached up to find an equilibrium between us. I curved my head down to rest my chin on her shoulder, breathing in the scent on her skin.
She pulled away after a while, looking at me with something deeper in her eyes, a swirling feeling of something I couldn't fathom. But really, it was an emotion that I was intimately acquainted with. Desire.
Her lips touched mine. Heat stirred somewhere near my stomach as I reciprocated the brushing of her mouth against mine. My mind went oddly blank, and I pulled her closer to me, lost in the intensity of her presence.
Everything went silent, and I could only focus on her, my heart hammering in my chest. Then I realized what I was doing. I was on Reid's porch, outside Tony's house, kissing Cleo. How on earth did things become so complicated?
I tore myself away from Cleo, retreating backwards. My breathing was heavy as I stared at her. This girl who wrecked my plans with one kiss. I never considered myself a coward, but this kiss wasn't easy to face up to.
After taking a minute to compose ourselves, Cleo looked at me. And I think she understood that I was bewildered by this whole situation. I watched her expression become clear with acceptance. Without another word, Cleo walked back to her car. I watched as she got in and drove off.
I couldn't string Tony along anymore. So instead of leaving Reid's house like I planned, I knocked on his door again. Thankfully, Tony was standing there when it opened, looking annoyed.
"If you want Reid again, he's upstairs." Tony said shortly. Thankfully, he didn't shut the door on me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping he wouldn't take badly to my candour. "You can't like me anymore, Tony." I said flatly.
Tony's expression widened subtly with surprise, then he started rambling. It was his classic defence mechanism; covering his feelings with words. "What are you talking about? I never said..." his voice faded as he looked at me, and his expression sobered. He knew that I was aware of him now. "How did you know?"
"It was obvious. I didn't want to come to terms with it." I said. I hated hurting Tony, but I had to end his feelings for me. If he hated me, then so be it.
He was quiet as he processed what I said, then his features were overwhelmed by anger, humiliation, embarrassment. "You can step on anyone's feelings whenever you want, Nina. But when it comes to my feelings, suddenly you care too much. I expected better from you." he said, glaring at me.
Tony looked disgusted by my behaviour, and my selfish heart was satisfied. I should have felt relieved when he shut the door, but I had nothing to be proud of.
à½à½²à½à¾
Cleo
I would never date someone like Nina.
I didn't like girls who only looked out for themselves. But I was still drawn to her. She looked lonely, standing outside Reid's house and it hurt me, for some inconceivable reason. Even I couldn't fathom my own intentions.
I watched Nina play with Tony's feelings throughout the past year. I wondered why she never stopped. Tony's feelings were clear as day, but I never understood what he saw in Nina. I only saw the bad in Nina, so I didn't bother to search for any good. Somehow, that was more than enough for me to follow the same route as Tony. To care about her.
After that kiss, I left Nina outside Reid's house and drove around in my car mindlessly, trying to eradicate any lingering lust from my senses. I was seeking comfort, and Nina just happened to be there. In retrospect, it was a horrible idea to notice Nina, to wonder how it would be to kiss her. Now that I knew? I needed to forget, to re-establish our old pattern. Where Nina was just another acquaintance, someone I was forced to be civil with, for the sake of my friends. Not someone I kissed. And definitely not someone that I could want.
When I thought about my type in girls, Mallory came to mind. I admired my best friend because she was kind and loving. She faced so much in her life and still prevailed. When I became friends with her, I realised that Mallory had flaws, but they only made her more beautiful. She could sometimes lose sight of what mattered most. Her relationship with Reid was at stake in that respect.
The only person I could trust was Tony. I drove back to his parents' house and knocked on the door.
"You might as well take the keys already," Tony's handsome face appeared round the front door, and his eyebrows rose as he took me in. "Cleo. I thought you were- never mind."
He sighed to himself, looking frustrated. I gave him a tiny smile. "Hi. Can I come in?"
He waved for me to come in. I stepped inside, coming face to face with Reid's smiling portrait on the shelf. The last time I saw him was at the hospital, the day after the crash. He was so lost and confused, but I saw that he was trying to hold himself together for us. Reid was still sweet and sacrificing, even in his own plight.
I sat on Tony's bed, and he was on the floor next to me.
"Nina doesn't want to be friends anymore because she thinks I have feelings for her." Tony admitted, fiddling with the edge of his duvet. His head was bent down, hair falling into his eyes. It was a sign of vulnerability.
I could see that Tony needed to talk to someone. The responsibility on his shoulders must have been driving him insane, now that Reid was more vulnerable. I saw even more than that, though; I saw how profoundly Nina's blunt rejection hurt him. A million emotions were playing out across his face; humiliation, heartbreak, melancholy. There were oceans of sadness in his eyes.
I felt even more guilty when I thought about the fact that I'd kissed her, straight after she rejected him. And she had fully reciprocated it. But that was too fresh to think about.
"Maybe Nina feels intimidated." I addressed Tony impulsively.
He looked up in surprise. "Intimidated by me?"
I rolled my eyes. Tony was the least intimidating person on the planet. "No, intimidated by your feelings for her. They obviously run deep."
Tony avoided my eyes. "I know that Nina doesn't commit. That's why I never confessed, but she still cut me off anyway." Tony huffed out a frustrated sigh as he leaned back against his bed, closing his eyes. "Now I feel even more pathetic."
"Exactly, so what did you have to lose? Why didn't you ask her out?" I implored, shoving my guilt deep into my heart.
Tony didn't say anything at first, but I saw a shadow pass over his face. "Well, there were times when I thought that she liked someone else."
"Who?" I pushed.
Tony looked back at me. "Do you think Nina would visit Reid, just to see how he's doing?"
My heart leapt to my throat. If Tony learned that I kissed Nina, he'd never forgive me. But he obviously didn't know about it yet.
"Why would it be?" I asked evasively. I hated that I couldn't be straight with Tony, when I was usually so forthright. I considered him one of my best friends, and Nina was forcing me to lie to him.
"I never thought that they were friends. I didn't remember Reid talking once to Nina before the crash, and now she's seeing him at my parents' house? I can't be the only person questioning her intentions."
"If only you knew." I muttered.
He frowned at me. "What was that?"
"Nothing," I answered quickly, "I wouldn't think about it too deeply. Reid and Nina are friends, nothing more."
"I hope so, because Mallory deserves better." Tony scoffed.
I groaned, rubbing my eyes with my palms. "Don't even. I have no idea what's going on with her either."
He looked pensive. "Would it be a bad time to tell you that Reid's taking her on a date tomorrow?"
My head whipped around to look at him. "What? Like an actual date?"
"Yeah, they've fixed it at that new restaurant in the evening."
"You should have led with that, Tony." I told him in frustration. I didn't know what to think.
Tony sighed. "I just got my heart broken, Cleo, give me a break."
"But don't you feel it?" I asked. My head was spinning, dizzy with this new knowledge.
"Feel what?" he asked, with a quizzical expression.
"All day, I've felt like something bad is about to happen. Maybe it's to do with their date tomorrow." I suggested.
Tony laughed under his breath. "Something worse than this? I'll believe it when I see it."
Once I left Tony's house, I knew I needed my own comfy apartment, a bag of Doritos and a good rom-com. But apparently, when I stepped out of the elevator, fate had something else in mind for me.
Nina was waiting outside my door. Once I saw her, I jabbed at the button to close the doors, but it was too late. She walked over and wedged her foot in the doors, forcing them to rear open again.
The smile she gave me was caustic, if slightly bitter. "And I thought you'd want to see me again."
I tried to look clueless. "What gave you that impression?"
She rolled her eyes. "Geez, I don't know, Cleo. What about the kiss you initiated this afternoon? Don't tell me that it was a mistake."
"I'll do you one better. It was a one-time thing and I didn't mean anything by it." I smiled sweetly. "Is that a good enough answer for you?"
"Not at all." Nina said, her eyes darkening. "I know you meant something. I did too."
She moved into the elevator, waiting until the doors closed. Then she hit the emergency stop button. The elevator abruptly came to a halt. I backed myself against the back of the steel wall, my eyes widening. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Kissing you, of course. If you want me to." Nina said. She moved closer to me, but she hesitated before placing her hands on my hips. She looked up at me, a silent question in her eyes. I didn't want to say no. I nodded, and she aligned herself against me, her lips dipping to brush against my cheek.
"You're making me complicit in this." I said softly, but I could only focus on Nina as her mouth steadily worked across my jaw. I wrapped my arms around her neck, gripping her tightly to me as I worked to keep my breathing steady. Now that she was close to me, she was tipping my world off its axis. "I like you, but this isn't worth screwing Tony over for."
"And I like you. Tony doesn't need to know, does he?" she breathed, an inch away from my lips. She closed in, finally kissing me soundly. Desire raced up my stomach and I cupped her jaw, pulling her down to meet me. Nina was languidly taking her time to brush her mouth over mine; once she got started, we could only go up.
I moved my hand to the tight bun that her hair was confined in, releasing the clip that kept her locks in place. Rivulets of curls spilled out, falling into my hands. I wound my fingers into them, kissing Nina with a bruising intensity. I wanted her to feel the same punishment she was condemning me to.
I spent plenty of time getting to know Nina's lips intimately. We never went below our shoulders, but I was content with kisses for the time being. She knew exactly how to touch me. Knew how I'd respond if she'd place her mouth at specific locations on my neck, jaw, ear and mouth.
At last, she withdrew her mouth from me, a bright grin lightening her features. "That was a very good use of one hour."
I attempted to smooth down my hair, smiling at her. "You think so?"
"I know so." she replied smoothly, reaching to tuck my hair behind my ear. I blushed instantly, and I knew she caught it from the way her smile broadened.
But then it hit me. I thought that Nina liked Tony, and now she was selling me the same fairy-tale. I wasn't going to betray my friends like this. I moved to the opposite side of the elevator from Nina, clearing my throat as I searched for the emergency call button.
Her smile fell as she watched me, realising something was wrong. "I know this wasn't what you planned."
I didn't respond, feeling a lump grow in my throat as I fought tears. "Yes, I didn't plan it. Why did you hurt Tony?"
Hurt filled her expression. "That's not-"
"Not true? Not what happened? Before I came here, I was comforting Tony, who's definitely still crying over your brutal message. That's none of my business, but it will be my business if you keep trying to find me. I don't come second best." I stated bluntly.
"Reid's a friend, Cleo." Nina tried to soothe me. She leaned against the elevator wall, her lips swollen with kisses. "I like you, doesn't that count for anything?"
"He's taking Mallory on a date tomorrow." I tested mercilessly, watching for her reaction. I was left in complete shock when Nina didn't recoil.
She stared at me indifferently. "I know about their date."
I couldn't say anything. Physical disgust caused me to recoil from her. I was a flower, curling my petals inwards from the persistent bee. Nina reached for me, concern flooding her expression. "Wait, Cleo, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry."
"I have nothing more to say to you." I breathed out. I stalked over to the elevator controls, pressing insistently on the button that opened the doors. Thankfully, someone must've reset the emergency stop because the doors reopened.
I waited until the door closed again before turning around. Memories of our kisses were traced all over my skin, crawling into my bones. Nina was gone, and I was left with nothing.
à½à½²à½à¾