"Again," Corrigan demanded. I nodded wordlessly and charged at her. It had been two weeks since I came to her with my decision. Unsurprisingly she didn't just tell me the vow and send me on my way. Since then I have spent nearly minute I could with her training. Sometimes that meant I was stuck in her office going over paperwork other times we went into town and met her contacts. Today however we were having some fun, fighting. Every wolf pup is trained in at least one martial art and when they shift they learn how to fight as a wolf. Betas and border guards however took it further, they knew how to fight all different types of supernatural, they knew how to kill.
Corrigan ducked under my attack easily and swooped behind me, sweeping my legs out from underneath me. I landed on the ground, dirt lining the inside of my mouth. Corrigan straddled me from behind her lips reaching down to touch my neck. "Dead." She said. "Kye, you know how to fight, so why do you always end up on your ass? And don't say it is because I am a better fighter. I know damn well your father and his buddies in the army taught you better than this." Corrigan demanded. "Hell, when we first started you were better than this." Corrigan didn't move from her position on top of me. I knew her well enough by now that she wasn't going to release me until I answered her questions. "I'm trying as hard as I can," I told her truthfully, and I really was. The fighting wasn't so much a problem I was just having a hard time with something else and it was effecting my fighting. "Did you change your mind?" I shook my head violently. "No! That's not it." Corrigan said nothing for a moment and swung off the top of me. "What's going on, Kye?" Corrigan asked. "The first day we met I mentioned this but you seemingly forgot. If your having trouble or stressing over anything you can talk to me about it. Even the simplest thing can interfere with your control when your this new to handling your wolf." I turned around and picked myself up. We where in a clearing a few miles from the main compound and no one was around for miles. Corrigan usually just fought with me in the classroom, I thought she had something planned when she brought me out here. I stared at a spot just to the left of her not truly meeting her eyes. Even if we where alone out here how the hell was I suppose to talk to her about this? I don't even know how she would react, the last thing I wanted or needed was for her to abandon me. "Kye!" Corrigan snapped bringing my attention to her. She stood in front of me in a loose t-shirt and leggings, both of which were now ripped and covered in dirt. I wanted to look away but as soon as my eyes met hers I was unable to. "I thought you were a Beta wolf? So why the hell have you been so submissive lately? And to top it off your forcing yourself to be submissive, forcing down your wolf. Do you know how dangerous that is? Your wolf is a part of you and you can't deny it. It is also your strength and if you are serious about this than you need your wolf." Corrigan reprimanded me. "Now tell me what is wrong?" Corrigan's last question was laced with the power of command. She had never once commanded me the entire time I knew her and it took me by surprise, which I think more than anything is why my mouth opened and I spilled out the answer she was so desperately looking for. "When we fight I can't take the contact. Even if it's a blow, every touch burns through me. When you or for that matter anyone else touches me my wolf rises to the surface. Not to shift but something else. At night all I can think about is one damn thing, I haven slept in days. All my wolf...all I can think about is sex." I told her. Shock covered her features, whatever she had been expecting it wasn't that. "Kye," she asked hesitantly, "you said that this happens when anyone touches you, does that hold true for Ryan or any other guy?" I thought back to the rare chances I had had to interact with either of them. I couldn't recall once when the same feeling plagued me then but in a way I didn't expect it to. Instead of answering her question I asked one of my own. "Why?" I didn't think she would answer, in fact I though she would just demand that I answer her question. "Well because if the answer is no than you should consider the possibility that you may be...well you may be gay," she said. I blushed I couldn't help it, I knew I was gay for a while and it wasn't that I was embarrassed about it but not many people knew. As a werewolf it was extremely rare for a wolf to be anything other than straight. Wolves did enjoy having sex with the same gender but when it came down to it when it was time to mate most wolves were straight. Normally no one in a pack minded when pups were just having fun but it was different when a wolf was actually gay. Since packs had such little exposure to wolves that were gay their reaction to the news varied...widely. Corrigan didn't miss the blush that had crept up into my face. I didn't need to answer her she already knew the answer to her question but I had to voice it anyway. "I am gay. I figured it out a few years ago." I managed to get out. Beta wolf or not the only thing I felt as I voiced the words was fear. Fear of the woman in front of me who I had come to view as a big sister. Fear that she would hate me. "Have you ever told anyone else? A human friend maybe? Your dad?" She asked. I started to shake my head but stopped when a picture of Gwynn formed in my mind. "I haven't told anyone but in town there is a girl who...well she...we kissed." I said. Corrigan nodded to herself, whatever she was thinking I wish she would just break the damn tension already. "Kye," she said lightly resting her palm against my cheek. Beneath her touch my blood flared to life, I wanted to step back but her eyes held me in place. "This right here, what you are feeling. It is perfectly natural. As most humans seem to know or at least think, we werewolves are highly sexual. A lot of times wolves of a same gender do get together but since they aren't gay they don't experience this same compulsion that you have. When we shift a lot if things change, one of which is our sex drive, which increases. But only around other shifted wolves. For that reason we try and keep the female wolves from the male wolves seperate at least at first." She explained. "Than why is Ryan always win us?" I interrupted. "Ryan, Is more or less taken. A few years back he asked Skye to form a mated bond with him. She never got a chance to answer because he told her that she was the only one for him and he didn't want her to rush the decision. He told her to hold off on answering him and give him the chance to prove himself to her. Until she answers they have half a mate bond and so Ryan remains more or less unaffected by anyone." She explained. Corrigan still hadn't moved away from me and standing there under her gaze her hand on my face was pure agonizing torture. "If we had known that you were interested in girls we would have tried to protect you from this until you had better control. I am sorry Kye that along with everything else you have to go through this as well," I didn't get a chance to answer her. As soon as she finished speaking her lips claimed mine. I wanted to push her away, I wanted to push down my wolf who had broken through all my barriers when her lips had touched me. I couldn't, instead I did the one thing I had been trying to avoid for days, I kissed her.
***
Corrigan and I were laying on the forest floor our clothes were strewn across the clearing none where still in one piece. I was laying next to Corrigan exhausted. When the need for contact had first subsided I had been mad at her and had raged at her for a good hour. She listened to every single word, every insult I threw at her without interrupting. When I finished she didn't say a word instead she charged at me. I didn't think I just protected myself and Corrigan landed on her back in the dirt, me atop her. One hand around her neck the other pinning her down. "Dead." She said. I released her quickly and stood. She stayed on the ground but sat up her eyes tracking me. "I won't apologize for what I did Kye. It was something that even if you don't understand fully, you needed. If we had known we would have kept the compulsion from starting but by the time I finally understood what was going on it was to late. You were at the breaking point with only two options left: get what your body was craving or go insane." I didn't move a muscle, didn't make a sound as she continued. "Would you have rather I let you go insane? Maybe I could have asked or explained better but even if I had we both know what your answer would have been. It needed to be done," I looked away from her then, in a way, logically I knew she was right. Right then however I wasn't thinking with logic. "That's the problem it had to be done. When I....I always thought that...I always thought that my first time would have been with someone who loved me, someone that it meant something to. Not...not because it was something that had to be done." I told her weakly. I knew I sounded childish and very much like I was a human girl. I wasn't a human girl though and I wasn't naive about werewolves either. Here sex happened with people you like, people you hated, and eventually with someone you loved. Even if it hadn't turned out the way it did I would have been with many other wolves many times over before I found my mate. For whatever reason though the first time I thought would have been different. "Kye, look at me." Slowly I did as she asked. She had stood up from the forest floor and made her way to me. "Love is a very complex thing with many different forms. Your right I am not in love with you nor you in love with me but that doesn't mean I don't love you Kye. You are the most aggravating wolf I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, I care about you. I didn't have to do what I did, it could have been anyone else, even that human girl of yours. I did this because I wanted to, because I know that I care about you. Normally we would have probably just locked you in a room with someone who volunteered, until your control wore down. I had hoped you would have seen this as a better option." She said...almost shyly. I wasn't sure what did it but the urge plowed through me again and this time it was my lips that found Corrigan's. She didn't deny me, no instead she let me take whatever my wolf, whatever I needed...wanted.
Corrigan's voice broke the silence of the the clearing, waking me from the dreams of recent memories. "The sun is starting to set we should get back." Regretfully I stood and started looking at the clothes that lay ripped to pieces in the clearing. Nothing was wearable. "Well, even if we can't wear it we can't just leave it here," Corrigan said. She started picking up random bits of clothes. I followed her lead and by the time we got it all both our arms were filled with shreds of clothing. We walked back in silence Corrigan leading the way. When we broke through the trees and into the clearing we were behind the rec room. Corrigan opened a half hidden door in the back wall. Inside was shelves of clothes and a trash in at the bottom full of ripped up clothing. "Grab whatever you want." Corrigan said as she dumped the old clothes into the trash. I tossed my armful in afterwards before I started scanning the shelves of clothes. When we were dressed I stood awkwardly waiting for Corrigan. Before we stepped out from the cover of the rec room Corrigan pulled me close. "Next time don't hesitate and come straight to me," she ordered. I nodded wordlessly and she left heading off to go do some work. I yawned sleepily just as my stomach rumbled and I looked wistfully at the cafeteria. I yawned again and my sleepiness overruled my hunger I didn't use the main entrance to the barracks which would have taken me through the cafeteria and opted for the side entrance.
The hallways were empty as were the rooms I passed on my way through the barracks. I opened the door to my room, stripping off my shirt. I was in desperate need of a shower and that was all I could think of as I walked to my room. I stopped when I saw Andrea standing in the middle of my room. She had more or less been avoiding me since that day under the tree and I had been to busy with Corrigan to seek her out. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Waiting for you," was her reply. I was aware of her gaze on me and I quickly pulled my shirt back on with a blush. "Why?" She didn't answer and instead moved towards me. "You smell of Corrigan." She said unemotionally, "Why?" I didn't answer, I was thinking of the time in the car when Andrea had retrieved me from Gwynn's house. You'd think it would be less awkward the second time but it wasn't. It was worse maybe because the only thing that happened between me and Gwynn was a kiss. Andrea didn't say anything, she didn't demand answers, she had all the ones that mattered. The juniper scent of Corrigan that clung to my skin had answered them. "Go, take your shower. Come find me when your done." Was all Andrea said before she swept out of my room.
'I should have gone to the cafeteria.'