Shay's POV
My hands continued to tremble by my side as I got out of the cab and made my way inside the house. I quickly wiped away the lone tear that rolled down my cheek and tried to stay calm by doing small breathing exercises.
The minute I walked in, the atmosphere suddenly changed. A heavy, tense silence filled the room, and the sound of glass shattering on the floor made me jump in surprise. Slowly, I walked toward the foyer and finally saw my mother standing in front of our butler, screaming orders at him.
Her appearance was a mess. Her hair was disheveled, her makeup smudged, and her hands were shaking. Just by looking at her, I knew the situation was far worse than I had imagined.
She swiftly turned around and saw me, her eyes narrowing into slits. I braced myself as she started walking toward me, my fists clenching tightly by my side.
"Momâ"
It happened so fast.
Before I could even finish my sentence, the sudden impact made my ears ring, and the force of the slap turned my head to the side. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Then, I slowly looked back at her.
"Why are you here?! Why did you let your brother go alone? Why didn't you get on that plane with him?! Why are you even alive right now?!" she screamed in my face.
Her words made my chest tighten.
She started hitting me on the back with her hand while tears streamed down her face, causing her mascara to smudge.
"You should've gone with him! You should've been on that yacht! You should've died instead! Why does it have to be my baby boy?!"
The tears I had been holding back finally broke free. I had always known my mother loved Shawn more than any of us. She never failed to show it whenever they were together. But hearing her say thisâfeeling her blame me for his deathâit shattered something inside me.
She continued to hit me until our butler and the two housekeepers finally stepped in, holding her back.
"Let go of me! You've always been bad luck in this family. Now look what happened to Shawn because of you! You should have never been born in the first place!"
My heart clenched painfully at her words.
I never thought this would happen. Not to Shawn.
Regret washed over me like a tidal wave. I should have gone to Hawaii with him. I should have stayed by his side. I should have never said goodbye when I got off the jet.
Why didn't I just go with him? Why did I have to stay back?
Mom still struggled against the maids' grasp, her hands reaching out as if trying to grab hold of me.
I dropped to my knees, staring at the floor as sobs wracked my body.
"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm really sorry, Mom. I never meant for this to happen!"
"Get out! Get out of my sight! Go away!" she yelled down at me.
Jonas, our butler, finally forced her to sit down in a chair, whispering soothing words to calm her. He shot me an apologetic look before turning his attention back to her.
I took it as my cue to leave.
Quickly wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I got up and made my way upstairs.
The moment I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me, it finally hit me.
The loneliness.
Shawn was my brother. The only family member I had ever felt close to. And now that he's gone... I don't know what to do anymore.
Fresh tears spilled down my face as I leaned my back against the door and slowly slid to the floor, clamping a hand over my mouth to muffle my cries.
My chest felt tight, like I was being suffocated all over again.
With him gone, I had no one by my side in this house anymore.
No one to rely on.
No one to look out for me.
No one to protect me.
I was on my own now.
I stayed there for what felt like hours, letting the tears flow as I struggled to accept the reality that Shawn was never coming back.
The sun had already set by the time my stomach growled in protest. I hadn't eaten all day, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My mind was consumed with thoughts of my brother.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, snapping me out of my daze. Slowly, I pulled it out and glanced at the screen.
It was a text from Jason.
He was looking forward to our date tonight.
But that wasn't going to happen. Not now.
Not ever.
He still didn't know that Shawn was my brother because I had never told him the truth about who I really was. And I wasn't planning on telling him anytime soon, either.
Shawn's accident was all over the news by now, but even if Jason saw it, it wouldn't mean anything to him. He had no idea how much this loss was destroying me inside.
Lying had become an easy escape for me.
It helped me get whatever I wanted and do whatever I needed to do.
So, I typed out a reply.
Me: I have to cancel our date tonight. Family emergency.
My heart sank as I pressed 'send.'
I knew I couldn't hide the truth from Jason forever.
One day, I would have to tell him everything.
But today was not that day.