Chapter 2: TMA || 2

*FLASHBACK*

As the girls stood around him, Raphael had his eyes trained on the new girl. Her curly hair was wild and unforgiving, yet it appealed to him. She was wearing a yellow summer dress with simple pumps. She wasn’t even trying, and yet she looked immaculate. He had only seen her gray eyes once, and he yearned to see them again.

He was only sixteen, but he had women and girls, young and old, fawning over his surprisingly manly and handsome features. He had hit puberty early and had grown quickly. He was lean and was the star of the school’s football team. He easily towered over the boys his age and everyone looked up to him, both literally and figuratively.

The new girl had his attention, but he couldn’t explain why. He knew for a fact that his mother would be furious if he took it upon himself to go after the new girl. She was after all, of colour, and his mother was racist at heart. He never understood it, but antagonizing her had always been fun.

He loved black girls. To him, they possessed something more than the plain white girls that surrounded him daily. There was just something unique about black girls that he couldn’t get enough of, and his dating history showed that.

“Why do you keep looking at her like that?” Bianca, his number one groupie, scowled.

“At who? Like what?” he asked, his Italian accent caressing the girls around him. For a moment, they all forgot about Bianca’s question and were instead enticed by the sound of his voice.

“The new girl,” Bianca barely registered herself replying.

“She’s beautiful,” he shrugged before getting off of the locker he was leaning on.

“I’m also beautiful right?” Bianca asked, snapping out of her daze.

“Yeah, sure,” Raphael replied, his eyes trained on the new girl as she shut her locker. He was going to make his move then.

He left the babbling girls, with most of them calling him back, but he had a mission and he wouldn’t stop until it was succeeded. The new girl looked up and smiled at him. He didn’t think he’d ever see a more beautiful sight.

“Hi!” she greeted.

“Hey,” he smiled back. When her eyes glazed over, he internally smirked, knowing that he had somewhat of an effect on her as well.

“My name is Gabi Hart,” she introduced, sticking her hand out to him.

“Ambrosi Maestri,” he smirked, taking her hand in his.

It was the beginning of the road to hell for him.

***

I punched the wall.

I punched the fucking wall!

It was only half past two in the morning, but my sleep had been robbed from me by the nightmarish memories of my past. They haunted me to this day, and I honestly wanted nothing more than to forget. Life unfortunately hasn’t been kind enough to grant me that wish.

At twenty nine, you would think that I would have my life together. Instead, I’m beyond fucked up, I’m beyond saving and I’m definitely a shit father, which isn’t all that surprising considering the fact that my own father is a shitty father.

I sighed, leaning on the wall as I slowly slid down to the ground. Only when I was alone could I truly wallow in my own self pity.  There’s no way in hell anyone else would ever see me in this state. It was actually moments like this when I thanked God that I have four daughters and not one. That way, whenever one of them has a nightmare, they seek one of their sisters out.

I know that I’m a horrible father, but I also know that there’s no redemption for me. I’ll always be a horrible father, for the mere fact that I haven’t fully accepted my own children. I know for a fact that they’re mine that much I can’t contest. What gnaws at me is that I was never ready for them.

Not forgetting the fact that I absolutely despise their mother and her existence.

Her death honestly did the world a favour. Someone who’s that evil only deserves hell. They remind me too much of her. They have my eyes, no doubt, but everything else they got from her. They have a mix of our complexions, but everything else is all her. They have her facial features, her sass and most definitely her conniving ways.

To those who know about the girls, it would honestly seem like I’m an uncaring father, but that isn’t entirely true. I actually do care about them, and I most definitely love them beyond compare. I just can’t bring myself to be around them when they remind me so much of their treacherous mother. If the world wants to judge me for that, then so be it.

I know that they love to destroy things, and that they love manipulating people into doing what they want. I may not always be around them, but I still only want the best for them. I’m well aware of the fact that they do everything in their power to get rid of any nanny I have for them, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up.

I looked to my bedside clock and found that I’d only been sitting there for twenty two minutes. I had an early meeting, and yet here I was just sitting in the dark. Inspired, I got up and headed to the elevator. I pressed the third floor, which is the girl’s floor.

I silently stepped inside and smiled to myself at the sight before me. They definitely inherited my sleeping habits. Camilla and Calinda had their bums in the air as they snored softly, while Caterina and Caprice were sleeping in star formations. Caprice was on her belly, while Caterina was on her back. The four of them looked too adorable for words.

I looked around their massive room, not really believing that I went through with this. They could already form coherent sentences when they were four, so that’s when they put in the request for this floor. Our home has five floors, with the first two being all the rooms like the kitchen and all, and then the fourth floor is my floor with the en-suite guest rooms, with the fifth being the gym and entertainment floor.

The girls requested that I make the third floor entirely theirs. It was the one time we actually had a full conversation as we sat with the interior designer and Construction Company and they explained what they wanted. The interior designer couldn’t believe what they wanted, and honestly speaking, neither could I.

Instead of having their own bedrooms, they asked to have all the walls knocked down.  The floor originally had eight rooms and three bathrooms. We had to live at a villa for two months while the house was being renovated to their wishes.

They had all the walls knocked down and then the restructuring began. They asked for one big bathroom with four showers, a huge bathtub, two toilet bowls and four sinks. They then asked for a wall that would separate the room so that they could have their learning area.

The learning area has a shelf of books from reading books to reference books. It has four desks and chairs for them with their laptops on them. It has a cupboard with their writing pads and stationery. There’s also a white board for their ‘reminders’ and a fridge with water and healthy juice.

They asked for a room to be built as a closet for them, and each of them got a side of the wall. The rest of the place was for their beds and a long vanity against the wall.

They have a picture of the four of them laying on the beach and laughing on their entire wall. On one of the other walls, they requested a picture of me to be put up and they collected all pictures of me and took a vote on which one to put up. They ended up choosing one where I was younger, but I was smiling. I remember the conversation they had with me when they came to tell me their decision.

“Daddy, we’ve picked one,” Camilla had run up to me with her sisters on her tail.

“Which one did you pick?” I looked up from the laptop. She came around my massive desk and nervously handed it to me. I was honestly shocked, but only because I hadn’t given it to them.

“Where did you get this?” I asked.

“Great grandma,” they replied. Of course my grandmother would do this.

“Why this one?” I asked curiously. They looked taken aback by my question.

“You were happy daddy. You were smiling, and you were smiling with us in the picture,” Caprice said lowly.

To this day, I still feel the stab of her words. The photo was of the day I was told that they could finally come home. They’d been born three months premature and had to spend five months in hospital until they were healthy enough to be sent home. By then, Gabi had already been gone for five months, and I had come to terms with the fact that I was a father.

I remember how happy I was that day. I wasn’t expecting the news, and when I went to fetch my girls, the four of them smiled and giggled when they saw me. A smile was inevitable from me, and my grandmother caught the moment on camera. She says it’s the one photo that convinces her that I can be saved.

I was truly happy that day. I had stressed over the nursery and my grandmother had stayed in Florence with me to help raise the girls. She only moved to Washington when they turned four. She was convinced I could take care of them myself after that.

The girls are my lifeline, even though I’m not the best father out there. Without them, I would’ve self-destructed a long time ago, but I know better. They need me, and they need me alive. I know they also need my affection, but I’m poisonous.

It may not make sense to other people, but I don’t expect it to.

I looked around the room, still not believing what responsible children I have. Their room is always spotless, and no from being tended to by a maid. They clean their own room, and they always seem to have a blast doing it. They don’t know it, but I sometimes watch them, wishing I could join them.

They always look so carefree.

The only ‘bonding’ I’ve allowed myself to do with them is Movie Night. They came up with the idea, and their only request was that I join them. They always choose the movie, and I sit with them throughout the movie. I sit in the middle of the couch and we all cuddle together. It’s the one time we’re truly together, but without needing to say anything.

We don’t even talk about it.

I looked at them sleeping once more, and they’d all changed positions and were now laying on their sides. They sometimes have that weird quadruplet thing where they do and say the same things without having discussed it beforehand.

I sat on one of their bean bags and just let myself be absorbed by their presence. They are the only people I truly live for, and I don’t doubt that I wouldn’t have it any other way. They keep me going even when I don’t have the energy to stand.

I’m a horrible father, but I love my daughters; that much I can bet on!

It wasn’t until I felt my face being stroked that I opened my eyes. The sun was shining through the curtains, which alerted me that it was morning. I was a bit confused since two of the girls were looking at me in concern. When I tried to sit up, that’s when I realized from the shooting pain I got, that I had fallen asleep on the bean bag. Caterina and Camilla were the ones watching me.

“You look tired daddy,” Caterina said softly. It was so strange for me to be caught in such a situation.

“I am,” I sighed, running my hands on my face. At that moment, Caprice walked in with Calinda behind her.

“Daddy, I ran your bath water,” Calinda smiled.

“And Anita said your breakfast will be ready soon,” Caprice added.

“Bianca called. I told her that you were tired and that she should cancel your meeting. She said she moved your meeting to eleven,” Camilla informed me.

I was stunned. The four of them stood before me with innocent and caring smiles on their faces. I wanted nothing more than to hug them, which is exactly what I did. They giggled from the surprise attack before hugging me back.

“I...” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“We know daddy,” they smiled at me. My daughters are absolutely amazing.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“It’s nine, so you have two hours until the meeting,” Caprice replied.

“And what are the four of you up to today?” I asked.

“We don’t know yet,” Caterina shrugged.

“Do you need me at all?” I asked.

“Nope!” they shook their heads.

“So I can leave and trust that you’ll behave for the day?” I narrowed my eyes at them.

“We’re not too sure about the behaving part,” Calinda giggled.

“It’s a good thing I got you a new nanny then, isn’t it?” I smirked.

“Daddy,” they whined just as the elevator dinged to reveal their new nanny.

“I’m sorry Sir. I was downstairs and Anita told me I could come up,” Ivanka said with her heavy Russian accent.

“It’s fine. Girls, this is Ivanka, and she’s your new nanny,” I told them. The four of them scoffed.

God, they remind me of her so much when they do that.

“I swear, if you drive Ivanka up the wall, you’re not going to like the consequences,” I threatened. They looked fearful until Ivanka had to go and speak.

“Oh please Sir, I can handle them,” Ivanka said proudly.

Biggest mistake of her life!

I watched the girls smirk in acceptance of her challenge. Whatever fear I had attempted to instil in them was gone, and replaced with the need to make their new nanny pay for her confidence. I honestly didn’t envy the woman.

“Well, I’m going to get ready. I’ll meet you guys downstairs,” I said as I got up. They nodded and I headed to the elevator.

I reached my room and true to word, Calinda had run my bath. It smelled strangely of strawberries, which is what the girls smell like, so I assumed they used their bubble bath for me. I shook my head with a smile as I stripped before submerging myself in the slightly hot water. It was just perfect for me.

I did my business in the bathroom, my sore neck and shoulders forgotten. I was so concentrated on shaving and making myself look presentable, that I didn’t even hear the girls go in and out of my room. I only knew they were there because I walked out to find a suit already set out for me. Strangely enough, it’s the same suit I was thinking of wearing.

Could it be that they’re connected to me too?

When you have quads, you think of the strangest things. I quickly got dressed and passed by my office to grab my stuff once my hair was styled. While not much is not known about me in the public eye, those who know me, know me as someone to be feared because of the stoic mask I wear twenty four seven. Thanks to that, I can keep my secrets to myself and not worry about any kind of exposure.

“Daddy, come and sit,” Camilla dragged me by the hand when I got downstairs. Anita had already set my breakfast on the table, and apparently the girls were joining me as well. We rarely eat breakfast together.

“Do you have a busy day today?” Caterina asked me as we ate.

“Yes I do,” I nodded.

“Are we still going to Washington?” Calinda’s eyes glossed over.

“Yes we are,” I nodded.

“Are we going to get to visit great grandma?” Caprice asked. It’s like they take turns.

“I don’t know about that one. We might not have time,” I told them honestly. Their faces fell and I felt like a major asshole.

“Can’t we ask Lui to take us?” Camilla pouted.

“I don’t want you guys to bother him ok?” I sighed.

“I wouldn’t be bothered. I actually miss grandma,” the man of the hour walked into the lounge.

“Will you take them?” I asked him.

“What? You’re not joining us?” he taunted.

“Not today Luigi. Yes or no?” I asked.

“I just said I wouldn’t be bothered, didn’t I?” he smirked as he grabbed a plate and started dishing up. Ivanka walked into the room then.

“Lui, this is Ivanka. She’s the girls’ new nanny. Ivanka, that’s Luigi, the girls’ driver. He has their credit card with him,” I informed them. He shot an amused look at the girls and it wasn’t hard to tell he would be in on getting rid of her.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned him.

“I didn’t even say anything,” he chuckled.

“You didn’t have to,” I scoffed.

“Fine, whatever! Be the spoil sport,” he pouted. For a twenty seven year old, he can be such a child.

The rest of the breakfast was spent with the girls and Luigi talking while ignoring Ivanka. I was tending to my morning emails, so I couldn’t be particularly bothered by anything around me. When it was time for me to head out, I kissed the girls’ foreheads, surprising myself, the girls and Luigi it seemed.

I quickly forgot about the action and headed to the car. My driver and bodyguard Sven, was waiting outside the car and opened the door for me when I got to the car. I stepped in and he closed it before going around into the driver’s seat. We took off to the Maestri Empire building.

I’ve been running my company since I was twenty. I didn’t really obtain any degrees since I decided to drop out of university. It just wasn’t for me, so I instead dropped out and got a business loan from the bank.

It took four years before the company got listed in the stocks, and things just got better from there on. Within the next year, I had opened up my first three hotels, two shopping malls, funded an agricultural project, started up Maestri Telecoms and Maestri Technologies and started building the Maestri School of Advanced Learning.

The last one I started in honour of my girls. I already know that they’re insanely intelligent since I’ve gotten them the best tutors for everything. The four of them are trilingual at their age, being able to speak English, Italian and French.

Thinking about the girls, I thought about how they are mostly the same, but also how different they are. Calinda loves to sing, Camilla loves to play music, Caterina loves to dance and Caprice loves art. In a way, those are the main things that set them apart. The lovely part is that they can all sing, they can all dance, they can all play musical instruments and they can all draw and paint. I guess over time, they each found that they love the one thing over the other three.

The one thing they have in common is their love for sports. They play tennis and swim regularly. I try my best to make sure that they’re doing everything they want to do. They told me that they’re doing enough for now, and that they would tell me if they wanted to take on more stuff.

In case you missed it, I really am proud of my girls. They have far exceeded my expectations for them; though I really didn’t know what to expect when they were born. I had no idea how I would raise them. I may be a horrible father in the attention and affection department, but I know that I provide their every need.

We drove into the CBD and I knew we were five minutes from the building. It’s a simple building with reflective windows the whole way down and sixty floors. It used to be a building with multi companies in it, until I bought the whole building out. It’s now officially known as The Maestri Empire Headquarters.

The company is set up in twelve other different major locations. There’s a branch in Tokyo, Dubai, Cape Town, Sydney, New York, London, Brussels, Rio de Janeiro, Honolulu, Mumbai, Cairo and Ontario. It took a lot of work for my company to get where it is, but I’m in a good place right now, which is all that matters.

“Sir, we’ve arrived,” Sven brought me out of thought.

I was surprised to find that we’d already stopped outside the building. I nodded and stepped out with my laptop bag and phone. Bianca was already waiting for me outside the building. Yes, she’s the very same Bianca I went to high school with. The woman just refused to let me go, and since she enjoys doing things for me, I figured she would jump at the opportunity to be my PA.

I’m not going to lie though. Besides her relentless and harmless flirting, she’s the best PA I could ask for. She knows how I like things to be done, and I guess over the years, we’ve developed a working relationship. She knows me better than most, but she doesn’t know about my demons or my past.

“Good morning Raphael,” she smiled as she handed me a steaming cup of coffee while taking my laptop bag. I told her that she could call me Raphael if we were out of earshot, but she already understood that.

“Morning,” I gave my usual mumble. The cup of coffee tasted as boring as always. Out of all the things, coffee is the one thing she fails at making.

“Sir, they’re already waiting for you in the conference room,” she informed me.

“How long have they been waiting?” I asked as we headed into the building. The people around us looked towards us in fear and awe.

“They arrived ten minutes ago, and I had Gene take them up,” she replied.

“Is everything set up for them?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.

“Set up and tested twice Sir,” she confirmed my thoughts.

“Good!” I said as the elevator continued to ding past every floor. We finally made it to the fortieth floor and stepped out.

Stepping into the conference room, it was comical to watch how everyone suddenly tensed up, and how all conversations seemed to die down in my presence. The chair at the end of the long table was vacant, as well as the chair to the right.

I went straight to my chair at the head of the table and sat down. Bianca took her seat as well, and took out her iPad to start taking notes of this meeting. For the sake of intimidation, I didn’t say anything for the longest time. I just sat there and scanned all the terrified faces in the room. It really was comical to watch them. I adjusted my glasses and cleared my throat before speaking.

“Good morning everyone. As you all know, you are here to present your ideas to me about where you think the future of the company should go. This will be a very long meeting, so I hope you’ve all made the necessary arrangements to get home and all. I also hope you’re all ready to be professional and prove yourselves. You may begin,” I announced.

“First up, we have Clement Franco,” Bianca announced.

This meeting was being held with fifty potential employees of Maestri Empire. Since I’m always looking for new blood and new ideas, I host this competition every year. The first round consists of the contestants being given a situation that has gone wrong and they have to come up with a way to fix it.

There are always thousands of applicants for it, but I only choose fifty for the second round. The second round is the presentation rounds, where I want to know where they see Maestri Empire heading. In this round, I judge their appearance, their confidence, their people skills, their ideas and the way in which their ideas are presented.

From this round, I then pick my top five, who will then each be given a three month project to handle. At the end of the three months, the top three achievers get employed. It’s a great opportunity, or so I’ve read in business magazines. It’s been running for five years now, and I’ve seen the positive results from past winners.

When I said that the meeting would be long, I never expected it to be fifteen hours long. By the time the last person presented, it was 02:43 the next morning. Bianca had already arranged lunch and dinner for them, which was brought in during the day. It always amazes me how far ahead she thinks. She had already contacted them about allergies and such, and she’d arranged ‘silent food’ so that the presentations could continue while they ate.

I would admit that this year was the first year where my decision would be really difficult. There were about fifteen people who had impressed me, which said a lot. I would have to sit down with Bianca’s notes and my own, and compare to reach my conclusion.

“Well, I must say that this group of candidates has impressed me. I can’t believe that you all actually stayed the entire time and I commend you on that. I have to sit and work through my notes, which will take up to two weeks, so the results will be released then. You will receive an email that says whether or not you made it. Thank you,” I dismissed before getting up and leaving the conference room. Bianca was hot on my heels.

“This year is going to be really tough,” she commented when it was the two of us in the elevator. We were heading up to my office.

“You’re telling me!” I sighed.

“You haven’t had anything to eat,” she scolded.

“Neither have you,” I countered with a smirk before we reached our floor. I say ‘our’ because her office is just before mine.

“Haven’t you heard? I have a slave driver for a boss,” she laughed.

She had changed quite a lot from the Bianca she was in high school. She was still flirtatious as I’ve mentioned, but she wasn’t as self absorbed and as obnoxious as she used to be. She was actually intelligent and I gave her a chance when most people thought she was some bimbo. Today, she earns the same salary that some of my highest executives earn. It takes a lot of patience to deal and keep up with me, and so she deserves it.

“I’m offended,” I deadpanned.

“You’re also not my only boss,” she winked.

“Is that right?” I asked amusedly.

“Uh huh! But you don’t deserve to know who my other boss is,” she shrugged.

“Whatever you say Bianca,” I shook my head at her.

“Are you going home now? I’m sure the girls wanted to see you before they slept,” she smiled. While she cares about the girls, I already know that they’re a bit wary of her.

“Do you think they’d still be up?” I frowned.

“Did they call? Remember when we came back from Chile?” she reminded.

I remembered the Chile trip alright. We’d had some trouble leaving the country and when I’d spoken to the girls the night before, I had told them I would be home by three in the afternoon. I only made it home by two the next morning to find them huddled on the couch crying. When they saw me, they flung themselves at me, mumbling things about how they thought I wasn’t ok because I hadn’t called.

“It’s dead,” I commented about my phone. It had been dead since one in the afternoon, which was two hours into the presentation meeting.

“Then they’ll definitely be up. I’ll call Sven,” she said before heading to her office phone.

I headed into my office and responded to the emails that I had received during the meeting. Being the CEO of such a major company can prove to be tedious on days like this, but I live for it, so I really don’t mind. My detachment from the girls also makes it easier.

“You can’t possibly still be working!” Bianca scolded from the door.

“I’m just sending out a few emails. Calm down Mama Bear,” I teased.

“Don’t Mama Bear me,” she scowled.

I received one of the biggest shocks of my life when Bianca told me that she wanted a baby. At first I thought she wanted a baby with me, but she explained that she was so dedicated to her job that she didn’t have time for a relationship but wanted a baby badly, so she was getting a donor. I had honestly been against it at first, but I was on board once she was pregnant. Today, she’s the proud mother of two year old Giovanni.

“Go home to your son Bianca,” I smiled.

“And you go home to your little girls,” she countered.

“Fine! I’m leaving,” I chuckled as I closed my programs and switched off my laptop. I put it away and stood up to leave the office.

Since much like today our office hours are unpredictable, I banned her from driving herself around. I got her a driver as well, who I pay for. His name is Jon and he drives her anywhere she needs to be during the week. During the weekends, she’s free to drive herself around.

“Goodnight Raphael,” she said as she headed towards the Mercedes Benz with Jon waiting for her.

“Goodnight Miss Agostini,” I replied before getting into the Rolls Royce waiting for me.

Sven drove us back to the house. He lives a few minutes from the house, so I let him drop me off and go on home. I quietly opened the door to be met by a silent house. I passed by the kitchen and there was a plate of food on the counter with my name on it. It was probably from Anita.

I warmed the plate up and quickly ate before heading up to my room. I was more than shocked to find the girls sleeping in my bed. Granted that it’s bigger than a King size bed, I still didn’t expect to find them there. Bianca seems to know them better than I do, because I was sure they wouldn’t have cared what time I made it home. The fact that they fell asleep in my bed must mean that they missed me.

I changed out of my suit and into my pyjama pants and top. I knew it would be useless to even attempt to wake them up, so I did the next best thing left them to sleep there while I went to one of the guest bedrooms.

By eight, I was up again. We were flying to Washington and I knew that they were excited about the trip. We were flying out at one in the afternoon, so there was still plenty of time to get last minute things sorted out.

I got up and went back to my room to find the girls still fast asleep. With the light shining into the room, I realized that Caprice must’ve cried sometime during the night because her eyes were swollen shut. I would have to ask Anita what to do about that.

My bag wasn’t packed, but I was almost confident that the girls had their bags packed and ready to go. I was proven correct when I got to their floor and their four suitcases were leaning on the wall next to the elevator doors. Each suitcase is a different colour, because while they all love the colour pink, they also have their individual favourite colours.

Camilla loves the colour yellow. She says it reminds her of the sun and happiness. Caterina loves the colour red because it’s the colour of blood and she wants to be a doctor one day. Calinda loves the colour silver because it reminds her of glitter and she’s borderline obsessed with glitter. Caprice loved the colour green because it reminds her of green grass, which is where she likes to paint most.

I picked up their bags and put them in the elevator before heading down with them. I reached the ground floor and placed them in the lounge. Luigi would get them from there. I could already smell breakfast being made, so I went to check up on Anita.

“Good morning Raphael,” she smiled.

“Good morning Anita,” I smiled back.

As cliché as this probably sounds, Anita has been working for my family since I was a kid, and then she moved out with me when I left my parent’s house. According to her, I was always her favourite between myself and my siblings. She didn’t want to stay with them, so she left with me. It caused a bigger rift between my mother and I, while my father wasn’t the least bit bothered.

She’s a beautiful woman with long black hair and amber eyes. Her smile lights up the room and she’s the kindest person under the sun. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today, despite my fucked up sides. She knows me better than I know myself, and I guess I owe her for keeping me on the right path.

“Are the bambinos still asleep?” she asked.

“Yeah! How were they last night?” I asked.

“They were pretty sad when you didn’t come home so they ended up going to bed early,” she sighed.

“They slept in my bed,” I informed her, cleaning my glasses.

“And where did you sleep?” she asked, clearly surprised.

“In one of the guestrooms,” I replied.

“Where were you anyway?” she queried.

“We had the presentation meeting,” I sighed as I walked to the fridge.

“It’s time for the competition?” she smiled.

“Yeah! This year’s candidates really look promising,” I nodded.

“Well, I’m glad to see that your work life is going great, but what about your personal life?” she narrowed her eyes into slits.

“What about it?” I shrugged.

“You need to settle down Raphael. Your daughters need a mother,” she sighed.

“They have you,” I pointed out.

“I raised you. You can’t expect me to raise them too. I don’t mind having them as my grandchildren, but they need a motherly figure,” she admonished.

“Where am I supposed to find a woman who I can settle down with, when all women get on my nerves? Where am I supposed to find a woman who will want me and not my money? Where am I supposed to find a woman who I’ll be sure wont look into my past? Where am I supposed to find a woman who will want to be with me without getting repulsed by my attitude? Where am I supposed to find a woman who will accept that I love my kids, but I can’t be the father they want me to be? Where am I going to find a woman that understanding? Hell, where am I going to find a woman who would still love me if she knew everything?” I spilled my heart out.

Anita had the ability of getting me to open up without even trying. She’s the only person who truly knows about my past and about my relationship with Gabi. Whenever something went wrong in my life, she was the first person I always ran to. She was staring at me intently, silently mulling over what I had just told her.

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this,” she finally said.

That was a surprising response. To be honest, I had put a lot of thought in it. I’m not entirely a cold person, and I am after all a man, so I do crave that completeness that comes with being able to say that your heart belongs to someone else. I don’t believe in meaningless sex or hook-ups, so that’s out of the question.

Would it be amazing to find a woman to spend the rest of my life with who would possibly change me for the better? Yes it would!

Would it be a relief to find a woman who would finally be a mother to my girls and maybe hopefully help me to be a better father? Most definitely!

“I have,” I nodded.

“Well, the woman you’re describing doesn’t exist-” she started to say.

“Exactly!” I agreed, cutting her off.

“Hold, on! You didn’t let me finish! I know that you were hurt Raphael, but the woman you are describing doesn’t exist; all except one,” she said cryptically.

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“The last woman exists. I know you may not believe me, and that even once you’ve met her you wont believe it, but I truly know that there’s a woman out there who was made for you, and once she knows everything about you, she will not only heal you and stay with you, but she will love you until her last dying breath,” she explained.

I was honestly speechless. I’ve been alone for so long that the thought of someone actually loving me is a joke to me, while the thought of me loving someone else is absolutely terrifying. With my past, I’m surprised that I still yearn for such things. To be told that it’s a possibility for me was something else.

“I don’t think there’s any hope for me,” I admitted.

“You have fooled yourself into believing that you’re a horrible father, and that you have the right to be a horrible father because of your past, but you’re wrong! Your daughters need you to just love them Raphael. That’s all they want,” she sighed.

“You know how I feel about the girls!” I snapped. She wasn’t the least bit affected by my tone.

“You have to believe and pray on it Raphael. God forgives all souls and I guarantee that he knows of your pain. Just trust him and tell him what you want,” she smiled before the patter of little feet was heard. The girls appeared and ran up to hug me when they saw me.

Looking at them hugging me, I thought about Anita’s words. How could I reach out to the girls when I’ve been so cold to them this entire time? How do I turn around and play the perfect father without giving them an explanation as to why I was so horrible in the first place?

“Where were you?” Camilla pouted.

They were all pouting at me, and I realized that despite me being a horrible father, they still wanted me to be a better father to them. They still want to give me a chance to prove myself. They worry over me and they display that, while I worry over them secretly. The point is that I could still be a better father.

“I was in a meeting and my phone died. I’m sorry,” I told them sincerely. They looked surprised by my apology, while Anita smiled. I’ve never apologized to them before because I always saw them as children who I wasn’t obliged to answer to.

“That’s ok daddy! As long as you’re safe,” Calinda smiled.

“Alright guys, we have a relaxed morning, so I want you guys to have breakfast ok?” I told them.

“Ok!” they said as they got onto the stools at the kitchen island.

I needed to do something which I felt would be a huge first step towards being a better father. I left them in the kitchen, pretending to be looking for something in the lounge. When I’d been in there long enough, I called Caprice’s name, and she came running into the lounge soon after. Her eyes were still red, which worried me more.

“Yes daddy?” she said nervously. I sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to me.

“Why were you crying?” I asked her.

“I wasn’t,” she denied quickly.

“Caprice, your eyes are red and they were swollen. You can’t lie to me,” I told her.

“It’s nothing,” she said angrily before storming away.

I could only sigh in frustration. I guess she had every right to not want to tell me anything considering the fact that I have never been approachable. Whatever it was, was making her upset, and it was making me upset in turn. I’d have to find a way to work around it.

I joined them for breakfast before leaving them with Anita while I went and packed my bag. When I was done, I went to my office to work for a while and attend to emails. Closer to the time, I left to get ready, and by twelve, we were all ready to go. Bianca had even arrived with Giovanni, who Anita had agreed to watch over while we were gone.

“Please behave,” Anita told the girls.

“We always behave,” Camilla giggled.

“Do not drive your nanny up the wall,” Anita elaborated. Ivanka looked at her in confusion.

“Promises, promises,” Caprice shrugged before walking out. Her sisters followed her out.

“I swear these kids are too mature,” I mumbled, but Bianca heard me and seemed to nod in agreement.

**********

So, new story and second chapter! I hope that you stick with it!

Please vote, comment, fan and share the story! Love you guys!

Katee (^^,)