Chapter 82 â Will You Be There For Me? (2)
His gaze was strangely cool.
âYouâll have to let it go.â
But Louise smiled.
âTo be exact, he told me that he likes me with you.â
ââ¦â
âWho Sir Hesse really cares about is you, Your Highness.â
Louise reached out and placed her hand on his cheek, and he seemed strangely embarrassed. She had guessed that this would be his reaction.
âArenât you moved by it?â
âA little bit.â
It didnât seem like just a little. It was obvious he was so happy he didnât know what to do.
âYou know.â
Louise whispered, still holding his cheek.
âThere may not be any other substitute for your grandfather in this world.â
Louise recalled the tears Ian shed for him.
âStillââ
âI know.â
He answered her quickly, as if he understood what she wanted to say.
âI still have Hesse.â
âThereâs also Claire and Lord Simon.â
âUnfortunately thereâs Dean Crissis, too.â
âAnd your parents as well.â
âMy father, who is a fool.â
âAnd the memory of the clever and beautiful queen.â
âAnd.â
Ian stroked Louiseâs long hair that fanned out on the bed.
âYouâ¦will you be there for me?â
Louise struggled to find her answer when Ian posed the question so seriously. Come to think of it, she had something she wanted to say to Ian. And if she couldnât say it, then their relationship would always be at a standstill. But was it okay to bring it up now? Wouldnât that be a bother?
Suddenly, Ianâs hand captured Louiseâs chin. Just like that day in the dormitory.
âIgnore it.â
He spoke the same words, and Louise understood what he intended. He was trying to recreate the moment in the dormitory before it had fallen apart, to hear the story that Louise couldnât tell him then.
ââ¦Now?â
âYes, now.â
He nodded encouragingly, and Louise gathered her thoughts for a moment.
âTruly.â
She also brought back the words she once spoke in the past.
âThereâs something important I have to say.â
âIâm listening.â
It was the same reply as the day. Except this time, the atmosphere was different. Back then he was playing around, but now he listened with devoted attention. No, not just to her words, but to the subtle tremble of her eyelashes and the curve of her mouth.
âIâ¦wonât be too stubborn anymore.â
âYouâve never been too stubborn for me.â
Louise shook her head. She was. She was scared that even their long friendship may turn twisted.
âI have been. Drawing a line in our relationship.â
Louise took his hand that was stroking her hair.
âDefining what we would allow for each other⦠This is all because you listened to my stubbornness.â
âBecause I was greedy.â
He answered frankly. Meanwhile, their fingers curled and tangled with each other.
âMore than that, is that alright with you? You said you didnât want to be misunderstood.â
âIâ¦well, Iâ¦â
âI wonder if everythingâs okay.â
âEverythingâs a total disaster.â
âAh.â
Ian shook his head with regret for a moment.
âSo my fiancée was dumped. Who was your partner? You can tell me now.â
âP-partner!â
âYou did have one, right? Didnât you say you didnât want to be misunderstood because you were involved with someone?â
Well, the person she didnât want to misunderstand was Stella, but that was a failure.
âI-itâs not like that! I didnât have someone I liked. Not at all!â
ââ¦Well, I see. Thereâs nothing in it for you even if you do become known as my fiancée. Youâll just get checked on needlessly. You donât have to worry. Of course Iâll be careful about calling you my fiancée in the future.â
His tone was friendly, and Louise ventured on carefully.
âPerhapsâ¦Thatâs what you planned to do from the beginning?â
âHmm. Maybe?â
He smiled lightly when he answered that.
âI never thought Iâd be restricted at all.â
âIâm sorry.â
âThen how should I treat you in the future?â
âOh, just naturally, normallyâ¦â
âThatâs a difficult answer.â
âHow difficult?â
âEven someone with no sense like Louise Sweeney would know. You saying that youâll stop being stubborn and allow me toâ¦â
His dark pupil gazed at her quietly.
ââ¦Thatâs how it sounds to me.â
Louise didnât turn her eyes away from him.
âI know.â
She gladly confirmed that he was understanding correctly.
âThereâs no other way, naturally.â
âNaturâ¦ally?â
âT-thatâs how it is. Since we already k-kissedâ¦thatâs how it has to be.â
Louise added with a sense of embarrassment, âYou donât do that with someone you donât want to share your heart with.â
âIâm glad you donât deny my thoughts.â
Ian gave her a questioning look.
âSo you called it a kiss?â
Louise jumped up and sat next to him. His hand, which seemed to have never let go, moved away, and Louise clenched her fist.
âHow could it not be a k-kiss! I even circled the calendar on that date! Both times!â
âI thought you would do that, so I circled the calendar too. I even colored the first one blue and the second purple to distinguish who initiated.â
He seemed very proud of himself, but she didnât understand him.
âAnyway, Iâm relieved.â
ââ¦About what?â
Louise murmured gently.
âI was worried you would define it as a mere impulsive act.â
âThereâs no way you came to such a terrible conclusion.â
âBut itâs the simplest way to escape.â
ââ¦But if I said that.â
If she made an excuse like thatâ¦
âThen it would truly be over.â
âSo did you think that we really need to face it?â
Louise nodded, and Ian chuckled. How could she be so entirely committed, making a face like she was ready to go into battle? What made her look like this? Louise sometimes was like this, as if there were another version of her he couldnât reach. He wondered if he could ever meet the complete Louise.
ââ¦I want to meet.â
âWho?â
When she turned to look at him again, her expression was as usual. The other shadow of the Louise that he had caught a glimpse of was completely gone.
âYou.â
âYouâre joking.â
âYou donât think Iâm serious?â
âYouâre already looking at me, arenât you?â
Louise then picked up Alice, who had rolled onto side, and checked if there was anywhere she was flattened.
âI canât see you right nowâ¦â
âHmmm?â
She gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head and pulled her in his arms.
âWait, hold on. Alice will caught in the middle. I told you I donât want her to be squashed!â
âI just want to hold both of you.â
âWhat the hell, are you kidding meâ¦?â
âI told you, Iâm not joking.â
He tugged Louise a little closer, but neither her nor the rabbit came any closer. He whispered in a small voice.
ââ¦I mean it.â
Maybe he really did need to.