Translator: Exodus Tales  Editor: Exodus Tales
Translated by XephiZ
Edited by Aelryinth
âThey are in the car.â
Bai Yingying moved a stool to the door and sat on it while staring at the Maserati in the distance.
âSigh, the interior of a Maserati isnât as spacious as a Cayenne, I thought she was driving a Cayenne last time?â
Xu Qinglang also got himself a stool and sat in front of the restaurant.
âShe must have replaced it after boss scratched it last time.â
The two were initially minding their own business, but unfortunately, the gyonshi was no ordinary human. As someone that had been lying under the ground for two hundred years, she had insanely good hearing.
Over the past two hundred years, Madam Bai would occasionally talk to her about everything happening in the outside world. They were like close friends.
Even the girls in a college dorm would occasionally gather together to discuss the length and firmness of something in particular, or they might gather together to watch some educational films from a certain country to the east.
As a result, even though the gyonshi was buried under the ground for two hundred years, she was not disconnected from the world. When Madam Bai was not around, she would be listening to the sounds around her. It was how she had developed such a shocking hearing.
When she âheardâ that the situation was starting to develop in a certain indescribable direction, she quickly got herself a stool and tapped on the wall to signal Xu Qinglang over to enjoy the show too.
Even though the two were quarreling most of the time, they were still willing to share happiness whenever it mattered.
âYo, boss came out of the car,â Bai Yingying whispered.
âHuh, that doctor came out too,â Xu Qinglang said as if he was a broadcaster.
âLook, boss opened the door to the backseat,â Bai Yingying added.
âHuh, the doctor is going into the backseat too,â Xu Qinglang said.
âThe car is shaking,â Bai Yingying covered her mouth while staring at the car with wide eyes.
âThey must be doing it,â Xu Qinglang took a deep breath.
âWhy do I smell something sour? Is the plum juice leaking in your kitchen?â The gyonshi waved her hand and covered her nose.
âNonsense. Here, letâs bet how long itâs going to last,â Xu Qinglang looked at his watch, âI say ten minutes.â
âFifteen!â the gyonshi said.
âOne, two, three, fourâ¦eight, nine, ten⦠seconds!â
Knock knock, be mindful of the unit used.
âHuh, the car stopped shaking,â the woman blurted out curiously.
âAre they changing postures?â Xu Qinglang frowned. He could not believe that the event had concluded!
âChanging postures after just ten seconds?â the gyonshi giggled. âAre you a virgin, too?â
The gyonshi was an experienced woman. When Madam Bai was secretly dating the poor scholar and eating the forbidden fruit, she was there too!
Xu Qinglang was displeased by the comment. As a man with over twenty properties, why couldnât he treat his first time more seriously?
âThe car is moving again,â Xu Qinglang said.
âOne, two, three, fourâ¦eight, nine, tenâ¦seconds!â
âIt stopped moving again,â Bai Yingying sniffled, âChanging postures again?â
âWasnât your boss married before?â Xu Qinglang frowned. âWait a second, I think I checked his background before. I remembered seeing that he was unmarried. Donât tell me heâs a virgin still?â
âI donât think he was married,â Bai Yingying said.
âFrom what I can tell, the doctor is most likely a virgin too,â Xu Qinglang slapped his forehead. âHAHAHA, this is so funny, I understand now. They are both virgins, yet they are already doing it on high difficulty.â
Bai Yingying fell silent.
âWhatâs wrong?â Xu Qinglang asked.
âI remember the scholar seemed to know what he was doing when he did it with the madam the first time.â Bai Yingying seemed a little down.
âThe so-called scholars during ancient times were the worst. They always preyed on the daughters of wealthy families like you. They were actually a bunch of shameless old drivers,â Xu Qinglang said, as if he was disillusioned with society, âOh my, the car is moving again.â
Ten seconds, stop.
Ten seconds, move.
Ten seconds, stop.
Ten seconds, move.
Both the gyonshi and Xu Qinglang would lean their heads to the other side when the car started shaking again.
Eventually, their necks started to feel sore.
The door to the backseat finally opened.
Zhou Ze and Doctor Lin got out of the car with their foreheads covered in sweat. They moved back to the front seat.
âI donât understand,â Xu Qinglang shook his head.
âMe either,â Bai Yingying was confused too.
âMaybe Zhou Zeâs tempo is different from normal peopleâs? Xu Qinglang shook his head again.
âMaybe,â Bai Yingying said.
Finally, the old man smacked his thigh and said, âI see it!â
The show had come to an end.
Xu Qinglang and Bai Yingying exchanged glances with one another and harrumphed.
âIdiot!â they both scoffed in their hearts and left. One went to the kitchen, the other went to read a book.
ââ
âPhewâ¦phewâ¦â Zhou Ze panted heavily on the passengerâs seat. His forehead was covered in sweat.
Doctor Lin was driving the car. She was sweating too, granting her a different charm.
âSorry, itâs my fault, Iâm not attractive enough,â Doctor Lin bit her lips and blamed herself, âI wasnât experienced, I have no clue what to do, so you⦠you werenât able to enjoy it.â
Zhou Ze leaned on the seat and shook his head, âItâs my problem, itâs clearly my problem.â
Zhou Ze took a piece of tissue and wiped his hair.
âWe are both doctors. We both know the reason behind it. Itâs my problem,â Zhou Ze took a deep breath and exhaled.
He had the urge to go back, drag Xu Qinglang outside, hang him on a tree and whip him over and over again.
Zhou Ze suddenly recalled Xu Qinglangâs words in the middle of the act.
-You are currently using Xu Leâs body, so was it really you that put a green hat on his head, or the other way around?
-Your body is Xu Leâs, your DNA is Xu Leâs, even the kids will be Xu Leâs.-
He was not too bothered by the words at first.
However, at that very instant, he somehow felt the thing under him to be disgusting. It felt like it belonged to someone else.
Under the immense pressure, after countless attempts, he finally gave up in the end!
âGive me some time,â Zhou Ze lit a cigarette, but soon tossed it out of the window.
He did not feel it was impolite to smoke in a womanâs car, but he felt like he did not have the right to take the âcigarette after sexâ.
âIâll wear stockings next time,â Lin Wanqiu said in a serious voice.
âIt will only prove that itâs my problem,â Zhou Ze said with a wry smile. However, his heart softened a little when he looked at the stern look on Doctor Linâs face.
He suddenly felt like he was such an assh***. He was trying to vent some of his frustration on the woman.
âSorry,â Zhou Ze murmured in his heart. It did not matter how complicated the hatred was between him and Xu Le, the woman was clearly innocent. Her affection toward him was pure.
He seemed like a successful person in his previous life, but after half a year, the only person that remembered him was this woman in front of him.
âYou can stop here. Go back and get some rest,â Zhou Ze said.
âYou too,â Lin Wanqiu stopped the car.
She drove away after Zhou Ze got out of the car.
Zhou Ze had already said that they would keep everything the same.
It was the only option. Even if Zhou Ze was willing to face his parents-in-law and his sister-in-lawâs âbitter gourdâ face, he still could not fall asleep at night when he was sleeping with Doctor Lin in the same bed.
Or perhaps he could ask Doctor Lin to sleep in the freezer with him?
He would not die of the cold, but what about Doctor Lin?
Or maybe he could invite Bai Yingying over so the three of them could sleep on the same bed?â¦
Zhou Ze was not that much of a jerk.
Eating and sleeping were the two most important things in life, and he happened to be struggling with both of them. It was difficult to set himself free.
ââ
The doors of the Confucian Temple were closed, unlike when everyone was competing to be the first person to burn their incense.
The Chinese had always put their own gains first regarding worshiping deities. That being said, it could be considered a good thing, too.
Zhou Ze opened a pack of cigarettes that he had brought along. Despite the interlude on the way here, Zhou Ze still remembered what he was here for.
He could not afford to wait until the little girl came back and took away his role as a temporary Envoy, as his own fate would be solely dependent on the little girlâs mood when she returned.
Zhou Ze placed the cigarettes on the ground in a line and lit them up one by one. He took out the rice balls too. He brought his palms together and said after he was done, âI have brought some offerings. I would like to have a chance to speak to you.â
Zhou Ze waited for a long time, but nothing happened.
Zhou Ze took out another pack of cigarettes. He was about to light them up when he saw the cigarettes that he had lit up die out at the same time.
Zhou Ze lifted his gaze and saw the midget old man sitting on the pile of dirt in front of him with a wide smile. His pocket was bulging.
âKid, there must be a reason why youâre doing this.â The midget old man was carrying a gong on his back. His face was full of wrinkles.
âI do have something to ask you,â Zhou Ze replied humbly.
The old man was clearly not just an ordinary ghost if he was leading the parade of the dead at the Confucian Temple. He must be a member of the organization too. He should know a thing or two about the Envoys.
âBe patient, allow me to deduce your fortune,â the old man pinched his fingers and gave Zhou Ze a thoughtful look, âI have been around the Confucian Temple for sixty years, I have managed to learn some skills too. I can see the desires in your heart.â
Zhou Ze waited quietly.
Finally, the old man smacked his thigh and said, âI see it!â
âPlease lend me a hand,â Zhou Ze said respectfully.
How could he become an official Envoy? What was he supposed to do from here on?
The old man chuckled. He acted like he had read Zhou Zeâs mind, as if everything was under his control.
He fondled his beard and said, âIâm well aware of your deepest desire. Fine, considering the gifts that you have bought, I shall give you some guidance.â
Zhou Ze waited patiently for the answer.
âJiuzhitangâs Six Flavor Rehmanni is what you are looking for,â the old man said.
{TL Note: Jiuzhitang is the brand of Chinese medicine products. The Six Flavor Rehmanni is a traditional Chinese medicine prescription to treat yin deficiency (which might lead to sexual dysfunction).}
ââ¦â
âHuh, did I say something wrong? It shouldnât be, the medicine can guarantee your performance for three hundred years. I tried it when I was young and alive. Itâs very effective.â
Zhou Ze suddenly had the urge to strangle the smug old man to deathâ¦