Chapter 43: Chapter 43

Working at the pastry shop was a real challenge, but I felt like never before. Sara taught me the basics to get through the first few hours in the kitchen. At first, all I had to do was handle the industrial mixer and knead the dough she gave me; however, I felt like I was constantly messing up, and even though she didn’t say it, I could see her purse her lips and redo what I had already done. After an hour, I thought I was doing so poorly that I would be fired soon or, even worse, that I was slowing down the orders because customers kept coming in and John was feverishly pressing the cash register, not leaving its side. But I realized that my mistakes were teaching me quickly, and around nine in the morning, after almost three hours of work, Sara’s lips didn’t purse as often, and I saw bread, roscóns, cookies, bear claws, and chocolate éclairs being dispatched more regularly to the glass counter. However, I had flour in my ears and was sweating like I had never before, even more than during heated volleyball matches against Chloe.

“You learn fast,” Sara said when she lifted the last tray of croissants she had shaped. “In two more days, you’ll be ready for me to focus solely on the oven and help my brother outside.”

“Two days!” I thought. “Would she leave me alone in the kitchen in just two days? What did she think?”

Although Sara’s comment encouraged me, her last words worried me. Still, seeing her smile gave me some relief. If she believed it was possible, it must be true, and I shouldn’t let the challenge overwhelm me.

“If you believe it, I’ll be delighted,” I said, returning the smile.

I continued with my work, which, although it became heavier with each passing minute, at least managed to keep my mind off everything I had left behind and what my life had been like until a few days ago. Between muffins and donuts, there was no room for the twins, Chloe’s jealous and crazy behavior, Lia and Dub, Axel and his obnoxious family. The only person I truly missed and occasionally thought about was Aly. I would have loved for her to be with me at that moment in Pella, and for her to forget everything we had left behind as well. I couldn’t get out of my head, every time I thought of Aly, the threat Chloe had warned me about.

“Can you help me take this tray to John?” Sara asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Of course,” I replied immediately, even though I would have preferred not to go to the public area of the store with my flour-covered appearance.

I took the tray of pretzels that Sara instructed me to take and I noticed that John was smiling at me. I wished I could feel something when I saw him, but for some reason, he seemed as indifferent to me as if he were just a guy on a billboard.

“Has my sister told you that you’re doing well?” he asked. I didn’t know what to answer because I wasn’t sure if I was really starting to do well or if Sara was just being kind to me.

“She mentioned something like that, but what do you think?” I replied. John seemed surprised by my question, as if he didn’t expect me to be interested in his opinion.

“For your first day and only a few hours in, I think you’re doing pretty well, although there are some products that are getting overcooked in the oven,” he said.

I thanked him for his words and then realized that no matter how hard I tried, I would also need to be patient to adapt to such a demanding job that requires so much skill.

The day went by, and after closing, while cleaning some tables, Sara called me. “Melany?” she said. It took me a few seconds to raise my head. I had completely forgotten that was my new name.

“Yes, Sara?” I replied, pretending to be distracted, and my eyes shot up to meet hers. Somehow, Sara managed to look beautiful in that late hour of the night, even covered in flour and dry bits of dough. Her sandy blonde hair had a touch of gold. Her eyes appeared the color of a winter sky, clear and bewildered as they fell upon my surprised face. John was almost identical to his sister. They both seemed to belong on a Hollywood runway, not in a small bakery in Illinois.

“So, about your position,” Sara breathed; her piercing gaze fixed on my face. Her words prompted me to stop what I was doing. Anxiety knotted in my gut as I clenched the dirty rag between my palms.

“You did well today,” Sara nodded, her seafoam eyes conveying genuine approval. “I just hope you do better tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I asked, my eyes widening. For a moment, I had thought that Sara was about to fire me. My jaw had started to slacken. “And don’t be late,” Sara shook her head, casting a sidelong glance at John. “It’s bad enough that one of us can never arrive on time.”

“You know I’m not a morning person. We could have opened a nightclub; then I would come to work early every day. This astonishingly boring city could use some nighttime excitement,” John exclaimed, his attention on the money he was counting from the cash register.

Sara mocked and let John count the cash, stacking chairs on the pink tables. I shivered in the cool breeze as Sara closed the doors of the bakery behind us. The streets were empty, apart from the occasional homeless person wandering on the wide sidewalks. The whole city had such a different feel when the sun set. During the day, it was vibrant and flavorful, with the aromas of different foods floating in every direction. At night, the city was deserted, houses dark, and porch lights flickering.

“Do you need a ride, Melany?” Sara asked, her eyes perplexed yet thoughtful. I adjusted my jacket around my torso, shrugging halfway.

“Not really. The motel is around the corner.”

“Oh, well. Goodnight, Melany,” Sara said, her voice soft as if lifted and carried by the wind.

I offered her a kind smile and began walking towards the motel.

“Hey, Melany,” Sara called me, making me turn around. “Why don’t you spend the night at my place?”

Although the idea sounded tempting, her kindness caught me off guard. I wasn’t used to people going out of their way to help me. Why would she want me to stay overnight? We weren’t friends, and I wasn’t sure if we would ever become friends. Just by appearances, I assumed Sara was the kind of girl who must have a large group of friends. Her athletic and toned body, along with her golden hair and blue eyes, Sara didn’t look like a loner.

“Are you sure?” I asked, almost shivering at how tired my voice sounded. It wasn’t a physical sensation of exhaustion but a mental one.

“Well…” Sara chuckled; her eyes anxious yet sleepy. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to.”

John waved us both a slow goodbye and got into the car. Sara was kind enough to swing by the motel so I could grab a few things. I had caved in and spent the thirty dollars to get what I needed after a night without toiletries. Sara’s face contorted with disdain as she looked at my dreadful motel room. Torn curtains with a hideous pattern from the seventies, followed by the stained carpet that summed up my extravagant previous accommodations.

“Is this where you’ve been staying?” Sara asked, grimacing as her eyes scanned the lumpy mattress I had been sleeping on.

B***d rushed to my face, followed by the swift onset of embarrassment. The comforter I had been covering myself with was full of holes and a red stain suggesting it to be b***d.

“It’s only forty dollars a night,” I shrugged, turning my face away so she couldn’t see the shame burning on my cheeks. I picked up some of my toiletries and something to wear the next day. In three minutes, I was done and looked at Sara. Her seashell eyes were uncertain yet thoughtful as she surveyed the room. With a long sigh, her eyes hardened.

“Grab the rest of your stuff,” Sara snorted, her lips pursing as she looked at the rundown state of my motel room.

“What?” My mind went blank, and for a second, I thought she was playing a cruel and heavy-handed joke.

“Take your things, you’re not going to keep staying in this shitty place.” Sara let out another sigh, one that made me feel guilty.

“But I don’t plan on staying with you either,” I said, shaking my head. The last thing I wanted was to be a burden; I had been enough of one in my short life. “I really appreciate the job, seriously, but you don’t have to worry about this too.”

Sara didn’t respond, and instead, the room fell into silence. After a few moments, I shifted uncomfortably, my eyes directed anywhere but Sara.

“What’s your real name?”

Before I could regain my composure, shock shot through my features. Sara’s lips curled into a sardonic smile. She knew she had caught me.

“Sussan,” I said without hesitation.

“Sussan?” Sara mocked, shaking her sandy-colored hair. “Strange name, but I believe you.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I murmured, unable to do much more. I could feel the small safe haven collapsing around me. Why would Sara want to hire someone who lied? I couldn’t even tell her my name, let alone the reason I was here. What kind of person would want an employee like that? Who would want a friend like that?

“Why did you lie?” Sara’s features were a mask of indifference, but she couldn’t hide the curiosity burning in her eyes.

“It’s a long story,” I said, swallowing hard. The motel room felt too crowded in this moment.

“I’d like to hear it sometime,” Sara nodded, her eyes overwhelmingly calm. “Are you coming or not?”

“I’ll stay here,” I shook my head, my stomach heavy as if it were filled with lead. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“I won’t offer it again, so if you need a place to stay, I suggest you let me know,” Sara frowned, her eyes disdainfully scanning the motel room.

Burden… The word resonated in my mind, bouncing around my head as if it were made of elastic rubber. That’s what I was, right? I was a burden to Lia, to Dub. I was even a burden to Axel; one I had abandoned for over ten years.

“Thanks for the offer,” I nodded, forcing a kind smile on my face. “I won’t be late tomorrow.”

“See you later,” Sara grumbled, heading towards the door. Just as she crossed the threshold, she shouted over her shoulder, “By the way, the next time someone asks you your name, don’t spend the next minute thinking about it.”

“Wait,” I found myself frozen to say, “If you knew I was lying, why did you hire me?” I stammered, looking at the sporty blonde girl in front of me.

“John can’t bake for s**t, and, well, I really needed the help,” Sara shrugged. “See you tomorrow.”