Despite the intuition brewing within me, I swallowed my bile and prepared myself for school. School was the last place I wanted to be, but somehow I knew I would never escape if Axel took me to his âpackâ. It was just one day. One day, and I could run to work to pick up my paycheck, leaving this town just a few hours later. I texted Aly that night, letting her know she could pick me up for school.
Gea questioned every one of my moves, using every opportunity to sow doubts in my mind.
âAnd what if Axel is telling the truth?â she said, frustrated after spending an hour arguing with me in vain.
âHeâs not,â I shook my head. âI donât believe it, itâs just not real.â
âYou know it deep down, Sussan,â Gea sighed. âYou always knew that a part of you was missing. This is that piece. Thatâs why youâre so strong. You were born to rule.â
âI wasnât even supposed to be born,â I rolled my eyes, ignoring Geaâs words. I didnât like how sincere they sounded. Part of me wanted to believe I was destined for something great, but that would mean living with people who had never wanted me in the first place.
Was it worth living with Axel, Stacy, Annabeth, Chloe, Vera, Lia, and even with Dub? It didnât seem so to me. I gathered my completed homework, stuffing it into my backpack in frustration. I had no idea why I bothered with the homework. At the end of the day, I would be a deserter, running away from my own family, if they could even be called that.
I spent the night refining my plan, working on the smallest details. I headed to school dressed in a striking outfit, changing before leaving during the night. I would keep my face away from any cameras and take a bus to the nearest airport. I had been smart enough to withdraw most of my money from my debit card, keeping it securely locked in a box under my new bed. I would leave behind the two mobile phones and take a flight as far away as possible. All I had to do was get through my last day of classes.
The morning passed too quickly. I should have been worried about Chloe, concerned about the twins. I couldnât explain why, but I wasnât. The prospect of this being my last day with any of them really put things into perspective. I put on the only other dress I had, something I had only worn in public once or twice. It was simply too flashy for my taste. A sweetheart neckline accentuated my ample chest, and the dress flared out against my thighs. The dress was a light blue shade with short sleeves. I had always loved this dress, but I hated the attention it drew.
I put on my usual white sneakers and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I waited until the last minute to leave my room. Somehow, I found my way downstairs easily. I tiptoed into the kitchen, grateful that Maggie was out of sight. I rummaged through one of the many cabinets, wrapping my hand around a plain bagel. I shoved a piece into my mouth and dashed out the door.
The road to school was quiet, and I had forgotten what today really meant to me. If I pretended hard enough, today was like any other day. I headed to school with Aly, another day trying to figure out the confusing twins. Geaâs voice snapped me out of that fantasy, reminding me of my crazy plan.
âMy mom wants to know when youâll come again,â Aly chuckled under her breath, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. âSheâs been pestering me about you, non-stop.â
My heart almost stopped, guilt flooding my veins. What kind of friend was I? With a shake of my head, I straightened up. I couldnât think that way. I couldnât force myself to stay to spare someoneâs feelings. I had dealt with abuse long enough. I deserved an out, I owed it to myself.
âSometimes,â I nodded absentmindedly, âI just need to figure things out with Axel and all that.â
âYou know you can talk to me, right?â She smiled gently, her gaze sending another sharp pang. âI canât even imagine what itâs like for you, but I can try.â
âI know.â I forced a smile in return. âI just need some time. Everything is confusing, and Iâm not really sure what I want. Heâs trying to act like my dad, but heâs not. He never has been.â
Aly did what she said she would, she tried to understand. She didnât tell me to give him a chance, to forget the past. She simply told me to do what felt right. I hoped she would forgive me someday, even if I wasnât around to witness it.