Chapter 18: : Chapter 18

I’ve never appreciated fresh air as much as when I got off that stupid bus. I’ve never appreciated the quiet as much as when I finally collapsed on my sleeping bag after spending half an hour setting up my tent. The girls I share the tent with all seem to have other plans than taking a nap at 5 pm but that won’t stop me. Being surrounded by people all day has really drained me.

‘Flo?’ I hear someone say from outside my tent.

‘Are you sure this is hers? Seems empty,’ I recognize Orion’s voice and nearly groan out loud. While I appreciated the guys’ presence on the ride here, my social battery is down.

‘Maybe she’s not in there,’ Liam says boredly. For once, I hope the other guys listen to him and decide to leave.

‘Let’s go find a place to hang out first. Then we can look for her again,’ Marcus proposes. Hearing that makes me feel bad. They want to hang out and I’m pretty much hiding.

‘Jamie, what are you-? Hey, don’t!’ Elija yells right before the flap of my tent bursts open.

‘See, she’s here. You good, flower girl?’ I turn my head to see Jamie standing in the tent, shoes and all. Even from where I’m lying I can see the dirt that now stains the previously clean floor and my irritation spikes.

‘Your shoes are dirty,’ I mumble. When the boy’s face loses some of its cheer, I instantly feel bad. ‘Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired. You need anything?’ I ask with a smile. I don’t want to be the kind of person that kills a friend’s mood.

‘The guys and I are about to look for a place in the woods where we can hang out without Marcus’ groupies ganging up on us. We were wondering if you wanted to come.’

‘Dude, she just said she was tired. You don’t have to come, Florence. I’m sure the marathon you completed this morning knocked you out.’ Elija pulls the tent doors to the side enough for me to see him. He pulls Jamie outside by the back of his shirt and smiles at me.

Who said anything about tired? Never heard of it. I’m wide awake.

‘You know what, some fresh air might be just what I need,’ I tell him as I get to my feet.

‘You sure? We can come to get you a bit later if you want,’ he asks but I’m already putting on my shoes.

‘Careful, Elija, or I might think you don’t want me to tag along,’ I tell him with a smile as I walk out of my tent. I intended to look really cool doing that. Instead, I’m now standing inches away from Elija since he hasn’t stepped away from the door. He seems to enjoy this position profusely judging by the smirk playing on his lips. Meanwhile, I have my head tilted back so I can meet his eyes in the first place.

My cheeks are heating up further with each second we spend in this position and my heart is beating so furiously I’m scared he can hear it.

When I finally can’t take it anymore, I gently lay my hand on his chest to push him away. Only that as soon as I make contact with his body, I can’t seem to move at all. He is radiating heat even through the fabric of his shirt and I can feel the soft beat of his own heart against the palm of my hand.

Elija looks down at where we’re touching and when he meets my eyes again he’s not smiling anymore. The look he gives me now only makes me burn up hotter.

For a quick beat, I could have sworn his eyes dropped to my lips but it was too fast for me to be sure. I hope my mind isn’t playing tricks on me.

‘So, should we leave or…’ Benji breaks the silence. I forgot the others were still surrounding us and the sudden reminder makes me jerk my hand back so quickly I lose my balance. It only gets worse when I take a step back to regain composure and my foot hits the side of the tent instead. I’m about to topple the whole thing when a pair of hands steady me by the waist.

‘Easy there,’ Elija says with a smile so bright I nearly swoon.

Damn it, I need to get a grip on it.

‘Right, sorry.’ I laugh awkwardly, finally push past him and only stop walking when I’m next to Benji. We’re now standing a few feet away from the others.

‘Not a word,’ I tell my friend who’s smiling suggestively.

‘Not saying anything.’ He shrugs and walks towards the forest after Marcus and Liam. I look over my shoulder to see Jamie whispering something to Elija, both of them grinning goofily. That’s my cue to follow the others.

–

Turns out that finding a place to hang out away from others is harder than one might think. Especially when it has to meet the princess’, aka Liam’s, standards. While Benji seems to be fine accepting any fallen log or even just a patch of grass, Liam keeps finding something bad about it.

After walking for an hour, we just settle on a cozy-looking patch with two fallen logs and tell Liam to suck it up and bring a towel to sit on. Then we mark one of the trees by tying a bright red shirt from Marcus to a low-hanging branch, take a picture and head back to the camp to eat dinner. Just for insurance, I saved the location on my phone. Benji might be good at finding his way in the woods but I don’t like taking chances.

By the time we sit down to eat I’m starving. Honestly, my stomach has been growling like crazy all way back and it’s all I could do not to die of embarrassment. Especially when Elija pulled a granola bar from his pocket and held it out to me. I just wanted one of the trees to swallow me whole.

As it turns out, Mr. Hank, or whoever was responsible for the meals, decided on serving us one of my favorite foods tonight. I could kiss them.

I don’t even care what I look like as I dig into my food. I can even ignore the embarrassment of moaning slightly when I take my first bite.

Only after finishing half of my meal in a short amount of time do I look up at the rest of the guys. Benji seems focused on his own plate, Orion is staring at Jamie who’s creating some kind of art with his rice and Marcus is having a conversation with Elija. Only Liam is staring at me funnily.

I decide to ignore him and prepare my next bite. My fork can barely handle it but I’m determined to make it work. That is, until Liam speaks up. ‘Easy, girl. No one’s going to steal your food,’ he tells me with a soft laugh. It might be an innocent comment but it nearly makes me drop my fork. It sounds too similar to everything my mother told me growing up.

Looking down at my food now, I’m no longer hungry. Instead, the sight of it makes me want to cry while the weight of my last bite clogs my throat. It looks like a lot more than it did before, making me wonder how I could stomach so much of it already.

I raise my eyes to see all the guys staring at me. Everyone but Elija, who is glaring daggers at Liam.

‘Yeah, right.’ I laugh it off.

I seem to be convincing enough since everyone returns to their previous activities. I pretend to be listening to the others while trying hard not to throw up. It would be rude to leave the table before everyone is done eating, not to speak suspicious if I just left now.

Elija keeps glancing my way as I push my food around on my plate, trying not to seem too obvious about not eating. I feel like he sees right through me like seems to so often. That’s why I’m extra careful to smile convincingly and seem unbothered.

‘If everyone’s done, how about we go back to the woods? Mr. Hank said we were free to do whatever we want to tonight,’ Marcus says.

‘As long as no one gets pregnant, I think were his exact words,’ Jamie adds with his signature grin.

‘You guys go ahead. I’ll be right behind you,’ I tell them.

‘I’ll wait for you,’ Elija is quick to offer. It’s a sweet gesture but the thought of him nearby while I throw up the contents of my stomach only makes me more nauseous.

‘It’s fine. Thanks for the offer, though.’ I’m glad he takes the hint, even though he doesn’t look happy about it.

‘You sure you can find us again? It’ll get dark soon,’ he says as a last effort.

‘I have the location on my phone.’

‘Smart girl.’ Elija smiles at me before the group finally leaves.

I head to the camp’s bathrooms instead, self-hatred cursing through me with each step I take.