Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Violette POV

I didn’t think to look back as I quickly made my way to my chambers. I took a deep breath, inhaling my scent mixed with Masters. It’s true, I indeed smell just like him.

I opened the door and poked my head in, spotting Lillian sitting on the bed chewing at her fingernails, and Sylvia curled up under the blanket fast asleep.

“Goddess, there you are! We’ve worried about you all day.. you never came back, we assumed.. well, we were afraid he killed you.” She whispered in a frantic tone.

“I’m fine.. Lillian. I got a punishment.. and it was too much on my body and I passed out. But I’m fine, do not worry.” I said. She quickly shuffled over to me, peeking at my gown trying to get a look of the damage. It hurt like hell, indeed. But I’d enjoyed every second of the pain.

“Goddess, you smell like him.” She gasped.

“I need a bath, Lillian.” I said softly. She nodded her head and slowly opened the door to fetch hot water.

I quickly undressed, my body is so sore.. my.. virtue.. goddess I can’t believe what I’ve done. My legs aches as well as my bottom. Everything did, and I knew this next week I’d hurt as well. Except.. without as much wolfsbane, it may heal fairly quickly.

When Lillian returned, she gasped at the state of my body.

“More whippings? Those look awful, Princess. I’ll get the herbs ready.” She said as she walked around me. Her eyes scanned my bruising as she walked to the bathtub and dumbed the water in.

“Your bruises look so much better.” She said as she looked me over again.

“The king decided he would ease up in the wolfsbane in hopes that it would heal some. Ms. Beatrice.. told him it was killing me.” I said. She covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes widened.

“It’s fine, Lilian. He didn’t punish me for it.. but I can’t lie to him again.” I said.

“You didn’t lie. You just didn’t tell him the whole truth.” She said.

“That’s lying, Lillian.” I said. She grabbed the bucket and made her way out of the room again. I walked over to the tub, hesitating.. my mind racing with the thoughts of almost being murdered by Gregor. I faced the door this time, afraid that if I didn’t.. someone would come in and try to kill me again.

My bottom stung as I climbed in and lowered myself into the water and winced in pain. It’s just a reminder of what I’d lost.. my virtue. I’d betrayed my mate. And I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. Mainly for how much I’d enjoyed it.. I shivered as the cold air of the room hit my skin, I need more water.. but I’m still afraid.

Lillian returned with a bucket of hot water, pouring it by my feet. She gave me a soft smile, but I could tell she was worried about me.

“Lillian, please don’t give me that look..” I said. There was pity in her eyes and I hated it.

“I’m sorry, Princess.. I can’t help it. You’ve been through so much.” She said. I sighed and leaned my head against the top of the tub. I pulled my hands from the water and ran them across my face.

“I will be fine.” I said softly. She nodded, but I could tell she had more to say. Thankfully, she didn’t say another word as she left for more water.

My mind went back to earlier. He took off my slave collar.. he.. he made me feel so good. The pain was bearable, and I hate that I’d enjoyed it. Was my abuse really that bad? Had it affected the way I perceive pain? Is my head messed up from the years of suffering at the hands of my own father? I shook the thoughts away as soon as Lillian returned with the bucket full of water.

“I have a question..” she said. I looked up at her and nodded.

“You smell like him.. but it’s a weird smell.. something about it reminds me of when Reyna would come to work after making love with her mate.” She said. I could tell my face turned beet red with how just hot it was. Her face paled slightly as she took on my reaction.

“He broke you in.. didn’t he?” She asked in a low tone. Anyone I’d rarely heard from her.. but only when she was seriously worried. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. What would I say? That I let him? That I’d enjoyed every second and hated myself for it?

“Please tell me.. you always tell me everything..” she said. I sighed as she got on her knees by the tub, resting her head on her hands on the edge of it.

“He did.” Was all I said. I could feel the tears sting my eyes and my head fell into my hands. I had so many mixed emotions about tonight. I struggled with accepting what I’d done..

“I’m so sorry, Princess. I know how you felt about saving yourself for your mate. It isn’t fair.” She sobbed beside me. Her hand found it’s way to my head and she patted me softly.

“My mate has been betraying me, Lillian. I have the bruises to prove it.. now.. I’ve gotten even.” I said. I forced myself to stop crying.. My mate has been doing this to me, it’s only fair I return the favor. She tilted my head up and brushed her thumb against my busted l*p.

“It’s still not fair.” She said with tears in her eyes.

“It’s not. But that’s life, Lillian.” I said. She nodded her head.. but her eyes were filled with hatred and anger.. for the king? Or for my mate? I was unsure but she never said another word.

She began washing me, massaging my body as she went along. Lillian really knows how to relax me, and I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. I’d already wished that one day I could return her kindness, doing things for her that she’d always done for me..

“I love you, Lillian. You and Sylvia are the best people in my life.” I said softly. She gave me a smile through her teary eyes.

“We love you too, Princess. You are more special than you think.. you deserved so much better than this.” She said.

When she began washing my hair, I could feel my heart racing. Each time she poured the water over my head, I’d gasp for air, even though I didn’t need to.

“It’s okay. I won’t ever let that happen to you again. I would die to protect you.” She said.

“Don’t say that, Lillian. I wouldn’t want you to.. I’d never forgive myself..” I said. She grabbed my hands in hers and sighed.

“I would never forgive myself if I let something happen to you again.” She spoke.

As she helped me out of the tub and dried me off, we heard screaming down the hall. Specifically, Minerva’s screaming. Goddess.. I wonder if she’s being punished. The King seemed very angry that she had her hands on me.

“Goddess, that girl has some lungs on her.” Lillian chuckled. She began mixing a paste to cover the marks on my bottom.

“You should heal nicely if you’re not given any wolfsbane.” She said. I nodded my head and grabbed a clean gown, I stepped into it and pulled it up, tying it at my bust.

“Let’s sleep.” I said as motioned for Lillian to climb in next to Sylvia.

“I just wish she’d stop screaming.” Lillian said. She covered herself up and lifted the blanket for me to climb in. I did just that, and the moment she wrapped her arms around me I began to drift off.

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