Chapter 13 ~ Christmas Bonus Part 2
Trying not to make Kanan feel rejected, she kisses him back when he gets a little hesitant. Iris pulls away as quick as possible, the kiss leaving a foul taste on her lips. Her chest aches and she can't understand why.
Noah and Zander cheer excitedly as Kanan smiles down at her. She tries her best to force a smile back. Kanan doesn't seem to notice how fake it must look. Instead, he looks ecstatic.
"Okay, I'm stealing her now," Hannah grabs Iris by the arm and pulls her away from her boyfriend. She silently thanks her best friend, who is smiling innocently at Kanan.
"What? I can't bake the cookies alone, can I?" She says when he shoots her a dirty look. He mumbles something to himself, shaking his head before turning away and walking into the living room.
***
The day passes without any further complications. They all celebrate together, yet Iris can't seem to get in the festive mood today. She feels uncomfortable every time Kanan so much as looks at her.
She scolds herself for being this way. She hates the fact that she doesn't feel anything for her own boyfriend.
Iris was always close to her parents; they ment the world to her. Their opinions have always been at the top of her priorities. She misses them dearly.
They'd want her to be with Kanan. That's the only reason she's still with him.
That night, she's up in her room, staring blankly at the television. She doesn't listen to what the reporter is saying. The only worthy topic recently has been the war, and she sure as hell doesn't want to be reminded of that when she's already in a slump.
"Reports of Rebel activity in South America have been recorded within the past week," the reporter's words immediately perk Iris' interest. She completely forgets about everything as she focuses her attention on the news report.
"The military refuse to disclose any more information, but rumours of world-wide involvement are going around. According to some sources, North America and Europe will have to get involved soon. We're looking at the start of World War Three..."
Iris feels her stomach cleanch as dread fills her body. The Rebels are dangerous, destroying everything they can get their hands on. She shudders at the thought of having to face them again after what happened so many years ago.
Her parents' words ring through her head, "If they ever find you again, Iris, they will not hesitate to kill you."
She wishes they were here with her now. She wants her father to tell her that she'll be fine and that he'll keep her safe. She wants her mother's warm embrace and wise words to lead her.
She feelt a tear drip onto her hand and only then does she realise she's crying. She wipes the tears away, furious with herself for being weak enough to cry at a time like this. That's all she's been doing these past few days. She knows she should stop wallowing in her own self pitty and actually make an effort to fix things.
Thoughts of Kanan come flooding into her mind once again. She wonders for the hundredth time if she's doing the right thing by being with him. She wonders if she's just leading him on. Heaven knows he doesn't deserve that.
If she's being completely honest, she doesn't think she deserves someone like him. He really does seem to be in love with her. But she just can't bring herself to feel the same, even though he's probably the perfect guy for her.
A knock at her door suddenly brings her out of her thoughts. She sniffs, hoping her eyes aren't red from crying, before speaking, "Come in!"
The door opens to reveal Kanan with a bowl of popcorn and DVDs in his hands. He smiles brightly at her as he steps inside and closes the door behind him. Iris smiles back, a little confused by the items in his arms.
His smile falters when he sees her tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. Worry immediately finds it's way to his eyes as he studies her. "Are you alright? It looks like you've been crying."
Iris just looks down, shaking her head as she does so. Kanan takes a seat across from her.
"Just thinking about my parents, that's all," she says truthfully, trying to make it sound like it isn't a big deal when it really is.
"Oh, you miss them, don't you? How are they, by the way?" He asks, his eyes gentle. Iris realises that she hasn't told him they've passed away, since he left the same day she received the letter. She feels her heart cleanch.
"Kanan, they aren't with us anymore," she breathes, feeling tears prick her eyes all over again at saying it out loud. She'd never said it out loud before, except to Duarte, but that was a completely different situation. "I got the letter the day you left."
Kanan's face drops and practically drains of all colour. He gapes at Iris, who still isn't looking at him. His heart goes out to her. He can only imagine how she must feel. Suddenly, he feels a tinge of guilt. He wasn't there for her when she needed him most.
"I'm so sorry, Iris," he says, pulling her to him. For once, she lets him hold her. She feels the tears start dripping down her cheek and onto his shirt.
***
Iris and Kanan watch movies until midnight, when he finally returns to his room. Iris lays on her back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness, not at all tired. She feels restless for some reason.
Do you want to go outside? Duarte's voice asks quietly at the back of her mind.
Yes, she answers without hesitation. As if she needs an excuse to escape to the woods from the confines of her room. She gets up and walks to the balcony.
There, she proceeds to vault over the side just as she'd done a few weeks before. She realises she hasn't been out since that night. She feels relaxed as soon as her feet his the soft grass.
The now familiar flash of light appears and disappears and leaves Duarte standing before her. He shakes himself, looking like he'd just woken up. Iris suspects he probably was sleeping a few moments ago.
"Come on. I have something to show you," Duarte says, lowering himself to the ground. Iris takes a hesitant step forward. He seem to notice her hesitation because a smile plays at his lips before he speaks again, "Come on, it's just like riding a horse."
"A very odd horse, then," she mutters, rolling her eyes. Duarte responds with a chuckle as Iris finally gets on his back.
He jumps forward as soon as she burries her hands in his thick fur, taking her by surprise and nearly unseating her. She feels him chuckle as she mutters profanities, clinging to him for dear life.
They cross the entire grassy expanse, which is clear of all snow because of the rain the previous night, in only a few bounds before being submerged in the darkness of the trees. Iris can't see a thing as the move forward with amazing speed, but she assumes Duarte's eyesight is more advanced than hers since he doesn't falter for a moment.
They run like this for a few minutes before the red wolf comes to a sudden stop. Again, he takes her by surprise and she's almost unseated for the second time that night.
"Could you not do that?!" She snaps despite her giggles. She has to push down on his head to regain her seat, to which he responds with a sound of disapproval.
"Be quiet, we're almost there," he tells her as he slowly starts walking again. She does as told and looks around. The trees are less dense here and the ground slopes upwards. For such a large creature, Duarte moves completely silently over the pine needles covering the floor.
The edge of the woods come into view a few feet ahead of them as Duarte finally comes to a halt. He lowers himself to the ground, a silent gesture for her to get off. She does, and stands beside him.
Be as quiet as possible, he says as he starts walking stealthily towards the tree line. Iris follows as silently as she can and, since the wet pine needles make soft footing, it's not too hard. Curiosity makes her heart leap as they mave closer.
When they come to a halt again, the air is knocked out of her lungs as her eyes widen. There, in a small cave on the side of the mountain, is a pack of sleeping wolves.
They're wild, Duarte says in her mind, looking at the wolves with fascination. Don't wake them. They won't hurt you, but let them sleep.
Just as the last words resound through her head, one of the wolves stir. The creature yawns and stretches itself out, completely unaware of the girl and her wolf spirit protector.
The creature lays back down soon after, cuddling into one of it's pack mates. The other wolf grunts but doesn't move.
Iris smiles to herself. She's always loved wolves. She found them fascinating, really. She used to love the idea of a pack. The fact that they stick together has always appealed to her.
Duarte turns and gestures for her to follow. Together, they walk back down, further into the dark woods.
*ð*