"You look like you're in a shitty mood," Saehi says as she takes a seat next to me.
I just nod at her acknowledging her presence but I don't reply.
I am still stewing in my mother's words from last night and this morning.
Last night even though I thought I could block her out and sleep it off, she barged into my room and demanded what was the invitation all about because she couldn't understand what Soobin was telling her.
When I explained to her about the fundraiser, her questions multiplied and I didn't have answers to them.
I didn't why a school as big as Royals High needed extra funds. I couldn't give my mother an answer to that.
How was I supposed to know?
It hasn't even been a month since I started going to school.
She kept pestering me about who was Soobin and what kind of people I was hanging out with at school and at one point in the night it was evident that we both lacked the energy and patience to continue the conversation because we were going in circles.
Finally, I told her I'll talk to San or better yet she can talk to San because he would have a much better idea than me.
In hindsight, now that I think about it, it was a bad move. I shouldn't have involved San. San seemed weary of their group, especially Taehyun and Yeonjun. I don't think he would handle the situation well.
But then again he is s good friend and will not throw me under the bus, right?
Right?
My mother even lectured me on how she wanted me to be aware of guys like him, aka, Soobin, cause even though they might look good on paper, rich kids of his age would only toy with my feelings.
As for Yeonjun, even though she didn't even know his name, let alone any other information about him, just knowing he had pink hair was enough for my mother to put him on the delinquent list.
The worst part was, I was angry.
I was angry at myself.
I was angry at myself because even when my mother was scolding me and warning me against them, the first thought that came to my mind was to defend Yeonjun. After all, hair color should not define someone's character.
Was I sleep-deprived?
Did he do some black magic on me?
Why did I think that and not all the times he's tried making my life harder and say yes and agrees with my mother?
I am positive I need more rest and that is the reason the thought of defending Yeonjun even crossed my mind.
I physically shake myself in hopes I can get that pink-haired devil out of my mind.
"What's going on? You seem upset" Saehi speaks again and I look at her this time. An involuntary sigh leaves my lips. She raises her eyebrows in question.
"I am tired, I am angry, I am done," I say honestly.
The free period has been a boon and the library has been my sanctuary.
I did not mind Saehi being here. She was one of San's friends and she has been friendly with me but I also wouldn't have minded staying alone right now.
"Wow, you sound like you need a vacation," she says and I bark out a laugh too loud for a library. Thankfully there's nobody here.
A vacation? I don't know what that is. Is going to your grandmother's house every summer considered a vacation?
"Do you know about the fundraiser thingy? What is it all about?" I ask and change the subject.
Saehi wasn't one of those students who lived in their delusional bubble and did not understand life outside it but I didn't want to tell her that her idea of vacation was very different from mine.
"The whole concept of skiing money from rich people to fix something in the school and raise money to add amenities that can easily be done with the existing funds? No. Nope," she pops the 'p' and smiles at me.
"Then why do it?"
"These old money people like to believe they are giving back to society and call it charity when all they are doing is feeding their own lifestyle. Delusional bitches" she smirks.
I liked Saehi because of how direct she was. And the way she said 'old money with a grimace on her face made me smile.
Old money and New money were one of the terms that I got familiar with within the first week here.
This was basically the term used to divide the school groups. Here I thought it was only the rich and the poor - the students who studied here with their money and the ones with scholarships but oh no, how I was wrong.
The division is among the groups and much deeper.
You had to be old money to the elite.
New money was just as bad as being a scholarship student, or maybe just a tad bit better.
You had to be here for generations and 3rd or 4th general heirs to big organizations or prodigies to world-renowned talents to be called old money.
Basically, your family had to be rich since the invention of time.
New money was almost used as slang, as to stab at the fact that money can't buy you, class.
The irony is was the people who differentiated people based on this were people who lacked class.
But this has not started recently; it has been ingrained in them for generations and it's not like this differentiation is limited to Royals High.
I didn't want to think about life's unfairness and depress myself further.
"Why are you asking about it though? You plan on going to this sad excuse of a charity?" she asks.
"Hello, news flash! I am the charity" I force a smile and she laughs.
"Touche. But I don't think any of the students go there. Most of them go to the party at Choi's lake house, if they're invited that is" she shrugs as if it is common knowledge.
"Choi as in Soobin?" I ask and she nods.
Something sparks in her eyes at the mention of Soobin and she leans forward as if she's going to tell me a secret.
"If you don't mind me asking, how do you know him?" she asks and I squirm in my seat.
"I know it does not concern me but I am just curious. You can totally decide not to answer" She shrugs when she sees me hesitate.
She has seen me interact with Soobin on a few occasions, mostly when I was trying to return the uniform but he was hell-bent on not taking it back I just lost the energy to repeat it again and again.
Lastly, he suggested I buy him a coffee cause I spilled his last one and I agreed. I mean, how expensive can a cup of coffee be? That can definitely be in my budget.
"But then I'll also start thinking something shady is going on between you two, so your call" she shrugs her shoulder innocently.
"Nothing is going on between us!" I say a little too fast and a little too loud, enough to raise her eyebrows at me smiling.
My reaction is a combination of my not wanting to reveal our first encounter and the effect of my mother's words from last night. So instead of telling her all that I choose to take the conversation in a different direction.
"Soobin gave my family an invitation to the whole thing and I don't know how to decline. I thought I'll just tell him that my parents are busy that night and will not be able to attend but I think I need to think of something more solid than that" I speak and she looks at me quizzically.
"Why? Just say that. My parents never go to these things. He is bored out of his mind so he just sends a check and avoids attending"
There lies the problem.
My family couldn't do that.
My family could not just write a check and call it a day because they didn't want to go to a boring event. I didn't even understand why my family was given an invitation.
I put my hands in my hair and try to ease the headache forming there.
"Hey, don't overthink this. It is just a formality to invite everyone. Nobody really expects the scholarship students' family to go" she instantly looks at me apologetically like she's said something wrong.
I don't mind that.
In fact, it is nice that she acknowledges it so casually.
She's not downgrading, she's not sugar-coating, she's just stating a fact.
"So... Coming back to Soobin" she smiles mischievously.
She was determined to get answers.
Well if that's the case, I would get some answers myself.