Chapter 19: Seventeen - Punch

Punch

“Come on Sid! Just a little more and you’re in!”

Hastily wiping away the tears from my eyes, I turned round the corner and into my bedroom, to find Sid trying to crawl into my largest suitcase while Kara watched.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

They froze.

“Um,” Sid stammered, peering at me sheepishly. “She dared me to do it!”

“She dared you to climb into my suitcase?” I asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Well, no.” Kara interjected with a grin. “I told him that he was thin enough to fit in there—”

“—And I told her I wasn’t.” Sid cried, uncurling himself and stepping slowly out of my open suitcase.

“So you climbed in there,” I started slowly, fixing Sid with a wry gaze “to prove that you couldn’t? Is that right?”

“Um…” He scratched his head. “That sounds about right.”

“Your genius is outstanding, Sid.” I replied, shaking my head as I walked over to my bed where I flopped down and buried my face in my pillows. “Don’t let me stop you, though. Please, continue.”

Sid’s chuckle was cut off by a loud scoff. “Condescending much, October?”

I lifted my head from my pillows to find Kara frowning at me, while Sid and I blinked at her in confusion. “Huh?”

“Just because you’re too uptight to let loose and have a little childish fun doesn’t give you the right to talk to Sid like that.”

“Talk to me like what, Kara? She didn’t say anything.” Sid questioned, pushing his glasses higher up his nose with the tip of his pinky.

“No, but didn’t you hear her tone?” Kara countered, pointing an accusing finger in my direction.

“She didn’t use any tone, Kara.” Sid said slowly, finally realizing the same thing I’d realized a few seconds ago. Kara was having an episode.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes.

“Seriously, Kara.” I rose off the bed and tried to reason with her, despite my urge to yell. I’d learned from experience that yelling at Kara while she was having an episode didn’t do anyone any good. Ever. “I wasn’t being condescending. I was honestly just joking around. I’m sorry if I offended you or Sid.”

I saw Kara’s eyes roll in contempt, but didn’t hear her reply. A cold chill had crept up my spine, right up to the nape of my neck where it made all the little hairs there stand up. It felt as if a snake was slithering up my spine underneath my sweater.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I was all too accustomed to that feeling.

Closing my eyes tightly, I tried to shut out the voice that I knew was coming.

“See?” The boy hissed in my ear. “Even your precious Kara hates you. Why do you even bother with your life? You can’t do anything right. You’re worthless and alone. You should have just slit your wrists and ended your life last night. It would have made so many people so happy.”

I could feel my nails digging into my palms. The pain that my sharp nails were causing was nowhere near compared to the pain that the boy’s words were causing.

I didn’t want to believe him. A little voice inside my head was practically screaming for me not to let his words get to my head. But, honestly, how could I not? Those were the exact same thoughts that kept me up at night; that haunted my nightmares and drove me to self-harm.

How could I not believe the voice that was telling me that everything I feared was actually true?

A slight ringing sensation in my head informed me that in my attempts to block out the voice, I’d been holding my breath. Opening my eyes, I took in a deep breath and refocused my attention back to Kara.

“See? She’s not even listening to me. There is no point even talking to her. I don’t know why I bother.”

Sid responded in a surprisingly soothing voice for someone who looked like the vein in his temple was about to pop. “Kara, you know October tends to get a little… distracted,” he started, glancing at me warily. Great, he’d figured out that I was having an episode too. “It’s not her fault. She can’t help it. You know this.”

Kara gave him a wry look. “Really, Sid? Haven’t you heard how many times she’s told us that she didn’t think there was anything wrong with her? This is all just an act – just a way for a spoiled little girl to get attention from her mommy and daddy.”

That’s when I snapped.

“What the hell is your problem Kara?” I yelled, my hands balling up into fists at my side. “Not everyone needs to throw a hissy fit to get attention, you know.”

Besides me, Sid went pale. “October… calm down.”

“No, Sid! I will not calm down!” I snapped. “Who does she think she is to say that I’m doing this because I want attention. That I’m here because I want attention. I never even wanted to come here in the first place!”

“Well, I’m sorry that we’re such a miserable part of your life!” Kara hissed angrily before stomping out of the room.

Those words hit me like a bucketful of cold water. Kara and Sid were the main reasons I hadn’t done what the voices had been urging me to do for months, and just slit my wrists. They were the two things that had kept me going in this hell-hole. My parents had dumped me at Abercosters three months ago, and they hadn’t come to check up on me once.

They’d thrown a huge fuss and put me here under the pretence that they just wanted what was best for me. And then they’d just forgotten about me.

The voices may have been right about my parents, but they were wrong about my friends. Sid and Kara had always been there for me. True, Kara’s bipolar episodes caused her to say things she didn’t mean on occasion, but other than that, she’d always been a true friend for me.

I suddenly regretted my words.

“Kara!” I yelled at her retreating figure. “Where are you going?”

“To ask Patty if I can have Rowena’s old room.” She yelled over her shoulder in response. “I don’t want to live with a person who’d rather have no even met me.”

Alarmed, Sid and I shot out of the room to catch up to her. We reached her just as she was about to run down the staircase. Panting, I reached out and grabbed her by the arm. “Kara, wait!”

“Let go of me!” She yelped, shaking my hand violently off her arm.

“What’s going on here?”

Blinking, Sid and I turned towards the sound of the voice, only to find a very confused looking Parish walking towards us.

“Nothing.” I replied gruffly.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” He retorted, ignoring Sid’s ever-so-subtle shake of the head.

“Stay out of this Parish.” I snapped, unconsciously squeezing Kara’s arm.

“I said Let. Me. Go.” She growled again.

Not wanting to piss her off anymore, I did as she asked. “Kara, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it.”

“Of course you did.” That sinister voice whispered in my ear, making me cringe. “Don’t lie to the girl, October. You meant every word of it.”

No. I almost shook my head. No, I didn’t mean it. I was just angry.

“That maybe so, but that still doesn’t mean that you didn’t mean it. Those feelings were the ones that you’d kept bottled up for so long. The ones that you refused to share at your therapy sessions. The ones you refused to write down in that thought journal Dr. Larkson gave you… They were all real.”

No. I insisted again. Those were the thoughts YOU put into my head!

“Now you’re giving me more credit than I deserve. I can’t put thoughts into your head, I can just see the ones that are already there and tell you about them.” I swallowed. Something about the boy’s tone made me feel uneasy. As it this conversation was only going to get worse.

“Remember that nightmare you had the other night?” The boy inquired, sending shivers up my spine. “The one where you were covered in Sid’s and Kara’s blood?”

Stop.

“The one where they were lying at your feet, screaming in agony?”

No. No. No.

“That wasn’t something I planted in your head, October.” The voice hissed. “Those were your own twisted fantasies.”

My resolve snapped like a twig.

“NO!”

As I screamed, I felt a sharp pain in the side of my head – as if someone had stabbed my skull with a butcher knife. My vision turned scarlet, and I could hear my heart pumping, as if it had suddenly moved from my chest and into my head.

Around me, the world tilted and swirled. Colors blended with each other and attacked me with their startling brightness. Every sound in the room was amplified by a hundred percent, blaring in my ears and threatening to deafen me.

And for the life of me, I couldn’t stop screaming.

I screamed and screamed, as if I was somehow releasing all my bottled up pain, anger frustration, and my pure, raw hatred towards the voices in that one unending scream. In my peripheral vision I saw flashes of red, and was faintly aware of the fact that someone was touching me.

I felt two strong hands grab a hold of my shoulders and try to haul me away. I let the strange hands try to move me. It’s not like I had the energy to resist, anyway. Every bit of energy that I had in my body, I seemed to be pouring into the scream.

In front of me, I saw Kara and Sid cry out and reach for me – trying to stop the strange arms from taking me away. Before they could reach me, though, the grip on my shoulders loosened and I was roughly shoved forwards. Almost simultaneously, the scream finally died on my lips.

I collided with a very stunned Sid, and was forced to turn around. Once facing forwards, I discovered that the reason why the hands had let me go was because Parish had punched their owner.

Clutching at my sore throat, I blinked at Parish surprised to see that he looked even more shocked than Kara, Sid and I did.

“What the hell is going on here?”

The four of us turned to stare blankly down the hall as Dr. Larkson stormed down the hallway, looking as if she wanted to kill someone, while a wary Darren and nurse Patty followed in her wake.

“I…” I croaked. “It’s my fault.”

Dr. Larkson’s furious glare burned holes into my soul. “Not one more word from you Grimmes! I heard you all the way on the other side of the building and that was more than enough!” She snapped her head in Sid’s direction. “Witherberry. Explain!”

“I-I-I…” Sid stammered uselessly, looking very much like he wanted to jump off a bridge.

“I had an episode.” Parish’s husky voice cut Sid off and all eyes turned to him. “Something happened to me and I think I walked in here and started yelling at everyone.”

A lie.

“What about her screaming?” Dr. Larkson demanded, nodded towards me.

His eyes searched my face for a second before shooting back up to meet Larky’s gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe my behavior triggered some reaction in her or something? I wouldn’t know. You’re the doctor, aren’t you?”

Another lie.

Why was he lying? Why was he covering for me and Kara? Didn’t he know how much trouble he could get in?

Dr. Larkson seemed to be buying Parish’s tales. And why wouldn’t she? He’d lied well. And he’d also thrown in a sprinkle of his signature arrogance, too. It sounded completely kosher.

“And Brent?” Larkson asked nodding at the male nurse that was sitting on the ground by Parish, nursing what looked like a broken nose. “What about him?”

“What can I say?” Parish shrugged, glancing at the nurse, looking bored. “I saw an opportunity to hit someone, and I took it.”

I snuck a quick look in Dr. Larkson’s direction, and the look on her face drained the blood from mine. That look, it was so twisted and menacing that it scared me more than the voices did.

“Put him in solitary, Brent. A week in there should teach him a good lesson.”

A week in solitary? I couldn’t let her do that to Parish. Especially when he was going to be serving a punishment that was meant for me. I knew how awful solitary was, and I wasn’t going to be the reason why he got thrown in there.

“Parish…” I croaked hoarsely. “Don’t—”

“Oh, for the love of God.” Parish cried, eyes flashing in warning. “Could you shut up already?”

I ignored him. “I can’t let you—”

“SHUT UP OCTOBER.”

“If both of you don’t shut up, I’ll throw you both in solitary!”

Dr. Larkson’s threat rang ominously in the air. She meant it. If we didn’t fall in line and obey her, she’d make our lives in Abercosters a living hell.

As if it wasn’t bad enough.

Unfortunately for her, I was feeling particularly fearless at that moment – and Parish, well, he seemed to not understand the concept of fear. The two of us shot her one spiteful look before turning to each other and resuming our argument.

“Jesus, October. Would you zip that pie-hole of yours?”

“No. I’m not letting you do this to your—”

A sharp slap across my cheek shut me up before I could even finish my sentence. Glaring, I looked up to see Dr. Larkson shooting daggers at me.

“Put them both in solitary, Brent. Let them rot in there for all I care.”