My anxiety the next morning at breakfast had nothing to do with the upcoming game and everything to do with Mason and what had almost happened last night. When Abby and I entered the dining room a bit late, I'd expected to see Mason already seated, but now I had dished up and was about to tuck in and he was still nowhere to be seen. His lack of presence probably had nothing to do with me, but I still sat nervously, my stomach too full with butterflies to eat much.
"What's up, Becks?" Abby's voice tore me out of my daze, and I looked at her surprised. "You look really freaked out."
"Oh," I said stupidly. "Uh, I'm just nervous for later."
The excuse was lame, but given how my nerves generally did get the better of me on game days, she seemed to accept it. She shrugged and kept eating while I kept my eyes trained on the doorway.
A couple of seconds later Mason wandered in, Walter in his tow. My heart leapt and my stomach clenched at the sight of him. Thoughts from last night came flooding back and just remembering what happened made my cheeks heat up. Mason stopped to survey the room. Keeping my eyes trained on him, I held my breath. When his gaze fell onto me, I felt like squirming. He stared at me for a second, his face giving nothing away. Before I could look away, he was turning to follow Walt to the buffet.
His reaction didn't make my nerves settle, but a comment from Kyle telling me I needed to eat made me shovel scrambled eggs into my mouth anyway. Marcus was busy telling the table a story loudly, but I was barely processing his words. However, I did process Abby's next words.
"Jeez, Mase, you alright?"
My eyes moved up so quickly that I felt dizzy for a moment. Mason was standing over the empty chair beside Marcus, his plate already on the table.
"Swell thanks, Abs." His tone was scornful, souring the mood at the table quickly. In the silence that followed, he took a seat and started poking at the food on his plate.
The eggs in my mouth had turned to ash and it was making me want to throw up. Mason looked as terrible as I felt when he finally lifted a forkful to his mouth. Staring down at his food, it was clear that there would be no cheering him up today.
"Anyway, like I was saying," Marcus mumbled. "My brother is in this bathroom stall and..."
Marcus' words became meaningless background noise. I stared at my plate, convinced it was poisonous all of a sudden. The thought of wanting to eat â of wanting to do anything â made my stomach churn. Pushing my plate further forwards, I sat back and crossed my arms, sitting through the rest of the meal in a self-conscious daze.
When other people started stirring in the team, I took my chance. Picking up my plate, I left the table without a word and headed towards where George, Harry and Sophie were clearing their plates. The boys were laughing at a story Sophie was telling as I came up next to them, scraping the remainder of my breakfast into the bin. I could hear Sophie and Harry leaving, but when I looked up from the bin, George was still standing next to me.
"Hey, Beck, you good?" He voice was casual, but his arms laid stiff across his chest.
"Yeah, thanks. A bit nervous for later. You?"
"Oh, yeah, all good." He flashed me a brief smile. "Look, I don't want to make this weird or anything, but I chatted to Lance this morning." His eyes turned hard as my heart stopped. "And, look, I know he was pissed off and all, but I feel like I just need to check in with you and Mason..."
George trailed off as the voices of Zach and Lucy sounded. I fiddled with my hoodie zip in silence as the pair added their plates to the growing pile, banter about an Instagram post filling the space between George and me. When they departed, George cleared his throat and lifted a hand to scratch his neck.
"Look, just come to my room in a bit, yeah? If you don't mind?" His eyebrows were raised, but they lowered in relief as I nodded.
"Yeah, sure thing." I forced a smile onto my face. "I'll see you in a bit."
"Awesome." He grinned and gave me a small wave. "Thanks, Beck."
Turning away, George left me standing dumbfounded and freaking out. My knees felt shaky, my chest tight. I forced myself towards the exit, looking back at the table where I'd been sitting for a moment. My hands clenched into fists when I saw George and Mason standing together a few feet away from it.
Calm down.
There was no way Lance knew about what happened last night. Not that anything did happen last night for me to be worried about, anyway. I knew this was some dumb ploy of Lance's to get back at me and Mason, but throwing us under the bus for something made up seemed so unnecessary.
I leant against the cool metallic walls in the elevator, too aware of the heat in my cheeks. There was nothing to be stressed about: it wasn't as if Gareth had called me into his room to chat about my relationship with Mason. It was just George. He was our captain, sure, but what authority did he have?
My logical thoughts did nothing to calm my nerves as I paced up and down inside my room. But, after thinking back to the way Mason had been doing the exact same thing last night, I entered the bathroom. The cold water splashing against my face was a relief, but I still tore off my hoodie. Meeting my own eyes in the mirror, I wasn't that surprised to see how bad I looked: rings under my eyes, wild hair, bright red cheeks.
A knock from my door sent my pulse skyrocketing. Quickly brushing the loose strands back from my face, I went to open my room door, expecting to see George for some reason. I didn't expect to see an amused looking Abby.
"You took our only key, fool," she said jokingly, entering the room and plopping onto her bed.
"I heard George asking to speak to Mason." Unaware of how much her comment made me panic, she scrolled through the phone that was in her hands. "Don't you think that's a bit much? I mean, Gareth already spoke to him, right?" Abby sighed and started kicking off her shoes. "George is great, don't get me wrong, but he's so intense sometimes. Like, he doesn't need to be involved in everything."
I just nodded, shutting the door while well aware I was about to leave. Abby, clearly upset with my lack of response, sat up and dropped her phone.
"You good, Becks?" She frowned and tilted her head to the side.
I breathed out a nervous laugh. "Well, George wants to speak to me, too, so..."
Her face contorted into confusion. "What?" Then, expectantly, she burst out laughing. "Oh, my days. This is hilarious."
"It's not," I scolded her, crossing my arms. "Why the hell should I be involved?" Abby laughed again. Rolling my eyes, I asked her again over her chuckles.
"Seriously, Becks? You don't think you know this one?" I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say, especially based off the smirk she wore, and it made me feel sick all over again. "Come on, you know Mason hit Lance because of you."
"That's not true," I said quickly. "That had nothing to do with me."
"Yeah, that's bullshit." Abby shook her head and let out another laugh.
Sighing, I covered my face with my hands. Abby, by entering into this conversation, had unwillingly just become my confidant. "Lance thinks there's something going on with me and Mason. I think he's told George, and now G is going to ask us about it, which is just the most awkward thing. God, I can't believe this."
Taking them away, Abby came into view wearing an amused expression. "Well, isn't there?"
"Isn't there what?" I frowned, my frustration coming through in my voice.
"Isn't there something going on with Mason?"
"What the hell?" I cried, my heart clenching as I involuntarily
"What? It happens," she laughed. "And to be fair, if I did have to pick someone in the teamâ"
"No, Abs! No way. Nothing's happening."
Abby just shrugged, her amusement fading from her face. "Okay, I believe you. But are you really surprised people think that?" I raised my hands, prompting her to go on. My stomach turned with her every word. "You guys are just really close. And you spend all your time together, you know? I guess that can look like you're hooking up."
"Harry and Sophie spend all their time together, too, but no one thinks they're together," I argued, crossing my arms.
"Because they're both married, Becks." Abby's grin was returning, but I was midway to collapsing onto the bed next to her before it manifested into a laugh. Her hand found its way to my arm. "You're overthinking this, yeah? Who cares what George thinks; it's not like he can do anything about it." I sat up and nodded, but still my heart was racing. "And plus, if there was something going on, I wouldn't blame you."
"Oh, God." I covered my face again, my cheeks hot under my fingers. Despite myself, I giggled along with Abby.
I knew it was just her way of trying to calm me down before I saw George, but I was still shaky and stressed when I departed the room a bit later. It was hard to shake the feeling the Mason and I were in trouble for something, no matter how ridiculous I kept reminding myself that was. Even if something had happened with Mason the other night, what could George â or anyone, for that matter â do?
I rounded the corner before our captain's room and almost came to a sudden stop. Mason was busy greeting George in the doorway, a smile on his face but his posture rigid, clear even from where I stood. George disappeared inside as I got within a few steps away from the door. Turning his head, Mason saw me. Trying to keep my cool as best I could, I flashed him a small smile, but he was turning away and walking inside before acknowledging me.
Swallowing back hurt, I treaded in after Mase. Inside, the mood was tense. Mason sat on one of the beds, his back straight and hands gathered on his lap, while George leaned against the desk across from him. I chose to hover around the doorway, my right foot moving up and down.
With a clear of his throat, George broke the unpleasant silence between the three of us. "So, sorry I have to be doing this, but after last night and the gym situation, I thought I needed to clear the air."
It felt like I was being scolded by my teacher for talking during a test. Abby was right about George: he was a great leader on the pitch, but all of this extra effort really did seem unnecessary. From the set of Mason's chin, I could tell he felt the same.
"What did Randall say to you?" Mason asked, catching me off guard. "Whatever it is, he said it because he's got some stupid thing against me and Beck and chances are it's bullshit."
"Lance doesn't have anything against you, Mason."
"He does, G." Mason's voice was surprisingly low. "And yeah, I know I shouldn't have done that last night, but I've apologised already." His eyes flicked to me for a millisecond, but it was long enough for my cheeks to break out into a blush. "So what is it now?"
George took a deep breath in and ran a hand through his hair. Looking from him to Mason, it seemed like the tables had turned and he was the one reprimanding George and not the other way around. But as George crossed his arms over his chest and stood straighter, it became clear who had the power in the room.
"Ever heard of Oliver McDonald?" George asked. He looked from Mason to me. "Justine Nigel? Not ringing any bells?"
I shook my head, risking a glance at Mason. He looked just as confused as I was.
"Yeah, you're too young to remember them." George was looking down at Mason with the superiority of someone who knew he had the upper hand. "They were a few years older than me, both played at Everton. And they were dating."
I sharply inhaled, my heart leaping at the tone of his voice.
"G, come on," Mason said, shaking his head. "Seriously?"
With raised eyebrows, George stopped staring at Mason and looked at me. Again, I felt like a student getting disciplined.
"Around the time when Lance and I made our debuts, they got called up, too. Justine did really well, but Oliver didn't, and things got kind of awkward." He shifted his position. "Oliver got jealous. They fought a lot and both ended up getting sent home." When George turned his attention back to Mason, I looked at him, too. His mouth was a tight line. "We did fine without them, but that's not really the point: they went back to Everton and basically wrecked their whole team by breaking up. And obviously their careers never recovered, because I don't even know who they play for anymore."
"What's the point of this?" Mason asked. I wondered if the shake in his voice was something I imagined.
George shrugged a shoulder casually. "Point is that things can get complicated real quick, Mase, and Lance and I have seen it happen first hand."
My mind raced back to the St George's infirmary, to the chat I'd had with Lance. His words finally made sense; the meaning behind the cryptic warning he'd left me with becoming clear.
"So, I know it's none of my business what's happening with you two, butâ"
"Yeah, it is none of your business, George."
"Well, as captain, it's my job to make sure your relationship doesn't ruin this team."
The pair stared each other down, the tension in the room rising again. Swallowing, I felt like an intruder in this conversation, which was quickly becoming hostile. I wanted to say something, interject and tell George he was mistaken, but I was too scared my scrambled eggs from breakfast would make a surprise reappearance if I so much as opened my mouth.
"Good thing there's no relationship for you to worry about."
My heart pinched at Mason's words, spoken quietly and sadly. Despite his straight back and hard expression, his Adam's apple moved up and down. I felt like crying again, overcome with the same guilt from last night. George met my eyes and raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to confirm Mason's statement.
Half-heartedly, I shrugged. "Lance has it wrong, oaky?" My voice was steadier than I expected. "There's nothing to worry about; Mase and I are just friends."
Mason's gaze was burning a hole in my already fiery cheeks. I raised my eyebrows at George now and he nodded, looking a bit flushed himself.
"Great, glad we could clear that up." He pushed himself off the desk and ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks for the chat, guys."
Despite the fact that I was right next to the door, Mason was still up and exiting ahead of me. With a final glimpse at my captain, I followed after him. In the hallway, Mase was a few paces ahead of me. My mind spun: should I let him go without trying to make amends for last night? Was it worth trying to set things right this second?
"Mason?"
He came to a stop. My whole body felt shaky and now I wished I'd just let him be. He turned his head slightly, but he didn't make a further move.
"What, Beck?"
My hopes dropped at the frostiness of his voice. Swallowing, I took one step closer.
"Are we going to talk about this?" I hated how whiney I sounded.
His shoulders moved in a shrug. "What is there to talk about?" I didn't have an answer on hand, at least not quick enough for Mason's liking. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
He took off again, leaving me standing in a daze. My throat burned with unshed tears as I replayed last night for the millionth time in my head. Was Mason really upset with me about all of this? I should have been fuming, but I just felt wretched at the whole situation and how it was progressing.
A door opened behind me, voices filling the otherwise silent hallway. Taking a trembling breath in, I turned around to see who was there. Jen Hall and Ally Fisher were coming out of a room, laughing. Ally looked at me and frowned.
"Beck, you know we're leaving soon, right?"
Jolted back into reality, I nodded and shrugged off their concern. Walking back to my room to get ready for our session at the stadium, the sick realisation hit me we still had a game that evening. I'd need to take a serious time out to clear my head later, or else this game would be just as bad as the previous one. And the last thing I wanted was the show George that he was right about me and Mason.