125 Days Before the Trip, 11:37 p.m.
So I chickened out. About telling Lloyd, I mean. But it wasnât really my fault, because while we were leaving the party, we ran into Olivia Meacham outside, and she was all over Lloyd in one of those âIâm making it clear you can have sex with me if you wantâ kind of ways. Which I could never figure out. How girls can do that, I mean. Iâm always terrified of giving a guy any idea I might like him, so I overcompensate by acting like I donât. Like tonight, for example. I totally wanted to dance with Jordan. But I hesitated because:
I thought I would look stupid. Which I probably did, but hopefully everyone was too drunk to notice.
I didnât want him to think I wanted him. Because I donât. I want Lloyd. But the point is, no matter who it is, a guy I donât like or a guy I do, I donât want them to think I like them.
Anyway. There was Olivia Meacham, wearing a frayed denim skirt that Iâd tried on once in Hollister with Jocelyn and then vetoed because it was way too short, and a blue halter top that showed off her stomach. Itâs taken me, oh, I donât know, five years to get up the courage to even think about telling Lloyd I like him. Olivia transferred into our school around Christmas, and three months later sheâs practically going down on him at this party.
Anyway, Lloyd starting flirting with Olivia, and the next thing I knew, she was in the car with us, and Lloyd was giving us both a ride home. And Lloyd dropped me off first. Which was kind of weird, since he made that whole production out of making sure I was riding home with him, when that wasnât even the plan to begin with. But Iâm not stupid. I know you always drop the third wheel off first.
So here I am, at home, by myself, and itâs kind of this big letdown. I really did want to tell him. And I canât even bitch about it to Jocelyn, because sheâs not answering her phone or replying to my text messages.
And of course no oneâs on instant messenger, because everyoneâs either sleeping or out. I download a few songs from iTunes, and then decide to see if Jordan has a MySpace. Not because I like him or anything. But because Iâm curious.
âJordan Richman,â I type into the search bar, and his profile pops up on the screen. The song heâs chosen is âLetâs All Get Drunk Tonightâ by Afroman. Charming. I scroll through his pics. One of him at school, hanging out in the quad, one of him with his brother, Adam, who I recognize because he was a senior when we were freshman. And a bunch of Jordan with girls. Seriously, he has like ten pics of him with girls. Donât the girls get mad? I wonder. That theyâre on his page with a bunch of other girl pics?
I hit the back button and check out his friends. 789 friends. Quite the popular one, that Jordan. I have 117.
I scroll through the comments.
Seems like he and âMad Madd Madisonâ have quite the MySpace flirtation going on. I go back and forth between their profiles, reading them. âWhat are you wearing?â Jordan asked her. âWhy donât you come over and Iâll show you,â Madison wrote back. Gag. They couldnât come up with anything better than that? How lame.
My cell phone rings, and I reach for it, figuring itâs Jocelyn calling me back. But the caller ID shows a number I donât recognize.
âHello?â
âCourt?â
âThis is Courtney,â I say, cradling the phone between my shoulder and chin and scrolling through Madisonâs pictures, most of which show her pouting for the camera, and wearing bathing suits. Seriously, bathing suits. And sheâs not in the beach or by the pool in any of them.
âHey,â the voice says, sounding nervous. âItâs Jordan.â
âOh,â I say. âUm, hi.â I close out the browser, wondering if he somehow saw I was on his profile, and is now calling to tell me to stop stalking him.
âYou werenât sleeping, were you?â
âNo, not at all,â I say. âI just got home a little while ago.â
âCool,â he says, and thereâs a pause.
âSo, uh, what are you doing? Home from the party?â Oh, yeah, that was really great. Obviously heâs home from the party, or he wouldnât be calling me. This is why Iâve never had a boyfriend. Because while other girls are wearing halter tops and leaving flirtatious messages on peopleâs MySpace profiles, Iâm coming up with such gems as âSo, uh, what are you doing?â
âDriving around,â he says. âI dropped B. J. off and then I was going to hit this other party, but Iâm not really in the mood.â
âCool,â I say. âBut why are you driving around atââI glance at the clockââ midnight?â
âIâm not sure,â he says, sounding confused. âJust seemed fitting.â
âUm, okay,â I say.
âSo,â he says. âWhere do you live?â
âWhere do I live?â I say, flopping down on my bed. âJordan, I canât tell you that! Technically, youâre a stranger.â
âIâm not a stranger,â he says. âAnd besides, if I donât know where you live, I canât pick you up.â
âPick me up?â I say, swallowing.
âYeah,â he says. âSo you can come to breakfast with me.â
âHow do you know Iâm hungry?â I ask, thinking about his MySpace profile pics, and wondering if all those girls were invited to breakfast, too. I wonder if itâs one of those weird competitions guys have. Like this one thing I read about guys in college who made up this game to see who could sleep with the biggest girl. It was really, really mean. Disgusting. Maybe Jordan and his friends have some sort of twisted MySpace pics competition. If he thinks heâs getting a pic of us together, heâs wrong.
âWell, are you?â
âStarved, actually.â I am hungry. But that doesnât mean Iâm going to breakfast with him. I mean, hello? Isnât this how people get stalked and killed? They sneak out in the middle of the night to meet some guy they know nothing about, and the next thing you know, no one ever hears from them again.
âSo itâs all settled,â he says. âWhere do you live?â
I hesitate.
âCourtney?â he says. âPlease?â And thereâs something in the way he says my name that makes me think he really, really wants me to come.
I sigh and reach for the jeans lying on my floor. âTwelve thirty-five Whickam Way,â I say. âAnd you better be buying.â
âThat was so good,â I say an hour later, pushing my plate away. âI canât believe I ate all that at one in the morning. Definitely not a good idea.â
âAhh, itâs fine,â he says. He reaches over and uses his fork to cut a piece of the pancake thatâs left on my plate. He pops it in his mouth.
âHow can you possibly want to eat any more?â I say. Heâs had three of his own pancakes, piled high with strawberries and whipped cream, three pieces of bacon, three sausages, home fries, and now heâs eating whatâs left of mine.
âIâm hungry.â He shrugs and picks up the check, which the waitress has left on our table. He pulls out a twenty from his wallet.
âHow much do I owe?â I ask. I reach into my bag and rummage for my wallet.
âNah,â he says. âDonât worry about it.â
âNo,â I say. âAbsolutely not. Iâm not letting you pay.â
âWhy not?â he asks, cutting himself another piece of pancake. âI forced you out of your house at midnight, itâs the least I can do.â
âYou didnât force me,â I say.
He shrugs. âWell, whatever. Iâm paying.â
âThanks,â I say, sliding my wallet back into my bag, and suddenly feeling awkward. I know I joked with him on the phone about him paying, but still. Does this mean itâs a date? Who goes on a date at midnight with some guy she met at a party? Itâs very weird. Is this how things work? Do girls just pick up guys randomly and then go on dates with them? I guess so, since Olivia Meacham hooked Lloyd tonight in about two seconds. Although technically, Jordan picked me up, not the other way around.
âSo,â Jordan says, standing up. âWhat do you want to do now?â
âWhat do I want to do now? Um, in case you havenât noticed, itâs one in the morning.â
âSo?â he says, grinning. âItâs early. Oh, unless your parents need to have you home or something.â
âOh, no,â I say. âItâs nothing like that.â The truth is, my parents would probably be thrilled that Iâm out. My dad, especially. Heâs always trying to get me to go out more, instead of just sitting at home, doing homework or playing around on my computer. âMy parents totally trust me,â I tell Jordan. I reach over and take a sip of my hot chocolate, then grab two sugars from the container on the table and dump them into my cup. âIt comes from being such a Goody Two-shoes for the first eighteen years of my life. They refuse to believe that I could do anything wrong, so they pretty much let me do whatever I want.â
âSo youâve built their trust to a point where they wouldnât even consider the idea that their daughter could be text messaging when sheâs supposed to be learning about cosines, right?â
I almost spit out my coffee. âHey,â I say, âhow did you know about that?â I spend almost all of math class texting to Jocelyn, since she has unstructured that period. I usually have a handle on the math stuff from reading the chapters the night before, and plus Lloyd goes over all my work, so itâs not like Iâm really missing out on anything. But how does Jordan know this?
âIâm at the perfect angle to see you pull out your phone,â he says, grinning. âYou do it all covert, hiding it under the pocket of your hoodie. Which, by the way, you always put on right before calc, so that you can text.â
âEveryone texts in class,â I say, shrugging my shoulders. It feels weird knowing he was watching me, that he knows something about me. Thank God he doesnât know exactly what Iâm texting Jocelyn about, because trust me, he would flip out. Letâs just say the words âLloydâ and âsexâ are used a lot. Not that Iâm having sex with Lloyd. Or want to. I just like to talk about it. A lot.
âAnyway,â I say, as the waitress comes by and drops the change onto our table, âthanks for breakfast.â Jordan leaves $5 on the table and puts the rest of the money back in his wallet. So heâs a big tipper. Thatâs hot.
âSo what do you want to do now?â Jordan asks, standing up.
âWhat do I want to do now?â I say. I check my watch. âWell, seeing as weâre under twenty-one, Iâm thinking our choices are home or home.â
âSuper Wal-Mart is open,â Jordan says, holding open the door for me. âAnd I heard theyâre having a sale on hoodies. You could get another one. You know, to help you in math.â
âOh, yeah, great plan,â I say. âOur first date you take me out to breakfast at one a.m., and then to Super Wal-Mart. How romantic.â He looks uncomfortable for a second. âNot that this is a date or anything,â I add quickly. âI was just messing around.â Oh, my God, could I have been any dumber? Who says that? Refers to a random call from a guy she doesnât even know at one in the morning as a date? Itâs so not a date. Dates are when the guy calls you days in advance to set something up, and shows up at your house, meets your parents, and then takes you somewhere. And everyone knows that youâre not supposed to even accept a date for the weekend after a Wednesday, because then you supposedly look desperate, right? Or is it Thursday? Whatever; the point is, this is so not a date. In fact, Iâm not sure what it is. If I didnât know any better, Iâd say it was a booty call. Booty calls always happen at one in the morning. But with booty calls, arenât you supposed to get right to it? Like, the point of the booty call is to get naked right away, not mess around with formalities like dinner and dates. Unless this is a booty call, and I just donât know it. And Jordan is trying to trick me into getting naked by taking me out to breakfast first, so then later, when Iâm like, âThat was a booty call!â he can be like, âNo, it wasnât, we had breakfast.â Like a modified booty call. Itâs probably the new trend in dating.
âSo,â Jordan says once weâre on the road. âYou really have to go home?â
âYeah,â I say, thinking about the MySpace comments him and Mad Maddy exchanged less than twenty-four hours ago. âI should really get home.â For a second, I expect that heâs going to try to convince me to come back to his place, or worse, park the car in the Super Wal-Mart parking lot so we can mess around. I mean, why else would he invite me out? Like I said, itâs not a date, and if itâs not a booty call, then what the hell?
He pulls into my driveway. âAre you sure you live here?â he asks, sliding the car into park, but leaving the engine running.
âIâm pretty sure,â I say. I pull my keys out of my purse. âI have a key and everything.â
âItâs just that the mailbox says âBrewster,â and your last name is McSweeney. So I need to make sure youâre not involved in any illegal activity, where I might be implicated since we hung out tonight.â
âWhat sort of illegal activity?â I ask. âBreaking into peopleâs houses to sleep?â
âWell, it could be anything,â he says, leaning back in his seat and pretending to look thoughtful. âThis could be the headquarters for your drug trafficking posse. And all that texting you do in math is business related, and must be done during eighth period because of the time difference in certain South American countries.â
âYeah, Iâm a total drug trafficker,â I say, rolling my eyes. âIâm surprised your friend B. J. hasnât told you about meâheâs my biggest client.â
âTouché,â Jordan says, grinning.
âNo, but seriously, the truth isnât anything all that shady,â I say, looking away for a second. âI have a different last name than my parents.â
âOh,â he says. âIâm somewhat disappointed that itâs something so normal.â
âMaybe Iâll tell you about it sometime,â I say, opening the door. Although if you want to know the truth, I donât really want to leave. Which is crazy. I mean, this is Jordan Richman. He is totally not my type. Actually, Iâm not his type. He likes girls like Olivia and Madison, girls that are super confident around guys and have the hookup list to back it up. My hookup list reads like this:
Kissed Jocelynâs cousin Justin during her seventh-grade birthday party during a game of spin the bottle. He had greasy lips. No tongue was involved.
Ninth gradeâwent on two dates with Paul Gilmore (once to the movies and once to dinner at the restaurant his dad owns, which Iâm not sure really counts, since he didnât have to pay). Made out (kissing with tongue) during each date, which was slightly awkward since once we were in a movie theater, and once we were in the kitchen of his dadâs restaurant.
Spent some of last year hooking up with Blake Letkowski, even though he was never really my boyfriend. He smoked. He was bad news. But he was a really good kisser.
Jordan unbuckles his seat belt and turns off the car. âLet me walk you to the door,â he says.
âOh, no, thatâs okay,â I say, hopping out before he can protest. The last thing I want is some random awkward moment at my door, where heâs trying to weasel his way into my house so he can attempt to devirginize me. I turn around and look back at him in the car. âThanks again for breakfast, Jordan.â
âMy pleasure,â he says.
âSo, um, see you in school on Monday,â I say, realizing itâs true. I will see him in school on Monday. Which is weird. Thinking about seeing him in school, I mean.
âSee you,â he says, and I slam the car door. He waits until Iâm safely inside before starting his car back up and pulling out of my driveway. I watch him from my living room window, wondering what the hell just happened, and how I ended up going out to breakfast with Jordan Richman.