Chapter 65
As I gasped for air, the past and present timeline flashed before my eyes. In retrospect, it wasnât all that terrible. Every moment I had with Bleon was a blessing beyond measure. In particular, this life was very happy because of him. Although my life wasnât long enough to allow us to fully enjoy that happiness, nevertheless, because of himâ¦
âWife! Donât close your eyes! Open your eyes and breathe! You canât die! You must never die! Pleaseâ¦! Iâll do anything. Iâll do anything you want, so donât die⦠just please⦠Pleaseâ¦!â
âThe doctor is here! Madam!â
âMadam!â
âMadam!â
Behind Bleonâs bellows, the butler, the doctor, and Philiaâs voices were heard one after another.
âMadam! Donât close your eyes! Breathe! Yes. Breathe like that! Philia!â
âEveryone, turn around and donât look. I will start the treatment now.â
Philia unbuttoned my dress and pulled the clothes down. And I saw the magic that I also saw the other day, and she brought her hand over to the area where my heart was. After a while, breathing became easier.
âHuk⦠Huuk⦠Haaâ¦â
And with the relief that I was barely able to breathe, I lost consciousness.
* * *
When I woke up the next day, the first thing I saw was Bleonâs face. He was kneeling on the floor and looking at me quietly, with his hands wrapped around one of mine. Itâs only been one day, but his face had become greatly emaciated. Itâs clear just how worried he was that I didnât wake up all night.
âBleonâ¦â
My voice was hoarse as I rasped out the words. But even though I called him, Bleon didnât budge and just stared into my eyes. Now looking at him, his eyes were so full of anxiety and fear.
âBleon.â
When I called his name again, he flinched slightly. Then, suddenly, tears started dripping down.
âHiic⦠Sniffâ¦â
âWhy are you cryingâ¦â
It always broke my heart to see him cry. Whenever I saw tears falling from his pretty blue eyes that held such depth to them, all I wished for was to see him smile without any worries. I just wanted him to be happy. I laid aside his upright body, raised my other hand Bleon wasnât holding, and gently stroked his hair.
âDonât cry⦠I told you that I like your smile.â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry⦠Wifeâ¦â
âWhat are you sorry for?â
âIâm sorry⦠For everythingâ¦â
I sat up slightly and gently held his head in my arms. Then, with an urgent gesture, Bleon hugged my waist tightly.
What should I do with you⦠You canât go on without me, so what should I do?
While holding him for a long time and touching his hair, Bleonâs crying slowly stopped. So I tried to get away from him, but Bleon wouldnât let him go.
ââ¦Do you hate me? Do you not like meâ¦?â
ââ¦Why?â
âDo you hate me for calling you back and interfering with your lifeâ¦?â
Bleon held me tighter. Perhaps he found it difficult to look into my eyes while talking. We ended up hugging each other and continuing the conversation.
âDo you want me to hate you? Do you want me to not like you?â
In an instant, the arm that was holding my waist tensed more.
ââ¦No.â
âThen why are you saying that?â
ââ¦Then, you wonât leave me?â
I shut my mouth for a moment. It was a difficult question that couldnât be answered right away, so I stayed silent. However, as he didnât get an answer right away, he was worried, so Bleon dug further into my embrace.
âPlease donât leave me⦠Iâll listen to you, Wife. I will do anything you ask me to do. I will never do what you tell me not to. So please let me stay with me. Please, please⦠hiic, hiicâ¦â
Bleon was begging me desperately, crying again when he had just stopped.
âI am very sick right now. I canât live long⦠You know that.â
âIt doesnât matter. Wherever it is, I want to be with only youâ¦â
âBleon, you already witnessed my death once. It ended up ruining your lifeâit canât happen again. It might be better for us to separate now. At least you donât have to watch me die anymore.â
I finally admitted it. Everything I did for him eventually pushed him to the brink. The fact that the actions when I tried to make him forget me by being mean and hurting him ruined him even more, contrary to my intentions.
I overlooked the magnitude of his feelings. As with any love, I thought that over time, Bleonâs heart would wear out, too. But he loved me a lot more than I thought. It was only now that I knew that it was so powerful that no one could erase it from my mind.
And thatâs how I thought, too.
âI know how much you love me. Now I know. I also cherish and love you. Thatâs why I made so many wrong choices.â
I made a bad decision with the cowardly excuse that it was an inevitable choice because I loved him.
âBut I died. I donât want to die in front of you like last time again.â
Now, when he remembers me, I hope he remembers the happy smiles of the days when I wasnât sick rather than the way I died and was in pain. Rather than lying on the bed and gasping for breath, I wish he could remember how we held hands and walked in the garden on a sunny day.
âThen I⦠How can I? How can I live without you, Wife⦠hiic.â
âThatâs why I didnât run away and weâre talking properly this time. I want you to live well without me. My life has only come this far, but not you. You still have a lot of time left.â
âI donât want it⦠I will be by your side until the end. Iâll find a way to save you. I will definitely find a way, so just stay by my side.â
âEven if you find a way, what else are you going to give up this time?â
âAnything. I can give anything.â
His voice was hoarse. Without being able to convince him, the conversation went nowhere and a deep sigh came out.
âI remember where the mage is. If we just find that mage, youâll be fine. So donât ever think of leaving me. Okay?â
But it was strange. For some reason, I wanted to trust and follow Bleonâs words. I even thought that a mage with the skills to turn back time and summon me might really be able to cure my illness.
âIf he asks for a price, wouldnât it be okay if I give my soul in the same way?â
In fact, I wanted to be by Bleonâs side to the point where I could think of such an absurd idea. I really wanted to enjoy ordinary and small happiness with him just once.
ââ¦How far away from here?â
At my question, Bleon, who had been buried in my arms the whole time, raised his head and looked at me in surprise.
âWifeâ¦?â
He couldnât believe what I was saying, and his voice calling me even trembled.
âYou said you know where the mage is. I think it might be worth seeing.â
âAre you seriousâ¦?â
âYes.â
ââ¦Wife!â
Bleon suddenly stood up and hugged me tightly.
âThank you⦠Thank you very much⦠Wife, I really⦠Haaâ¦â
Seeing Bleon constantly thanking me in an emotionally touched voice, I felt the frustration and fear that had been holding me back since some day.
âYes. Letâs try it. If that doesnât work, then Iâll think about it again.â
Because thereâs Bleon. Because I have Bleon, even if the outcome is not good, if the two of us were together, we will be able to overcome any kind of sadness this time. So I decided to follow him.
* * *
The next day we got ready to leave and immediately set out on a long road in search of the mage. Because mages tend to live completely cut off from the rest of the world, it was very difficult to find them. But since Bleon already knew where the mage we needed to see was, we arrived at the mageâs place about a week later.
âHere we are. It was very difficult for you, Wifeâ¦â
âNo. Iâm okay. What about you, Bleon?â
âIâm okay.â
We worried about each otherâs condition and thought about how to get in at the door. But suddenly the door opened as the mage noticed that we were coming. As I entered the door carefully, there was a very tall woman surrounded by a black cloak.
âWhy did you come to see me? Ah! Itâs that person from that time.â
The woman at first asked our purpose of coming to her, and then looked at Bleon.
âThen this personâ¦! I see.â
Then she pointed at me and said so, she seemed to notice who I was. She really was a mage.
âYou seem to have accomplished your purpose, but why did you come to me again?â
âBecause I want something different this time.â
Bleon replied.
âHmm⦠You are ill. A disease that hardens the heart is an incurable disease.â
The mage hit the nail on the head.
âItâs impossible to cure.â