Demarcus stirred beside me for the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes and let out an exasperated sigh. I rolled my eyes. He was the one who showed up to my dorm at an ungodly hour this morning, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, when Daxson's flight wasn't even expected to land until nine. His growing impatience was only adding to my unsafe anxiety levels. I picked at my cuticles and focused on taking a few deep breaths.
Demarcus stretched his body out on the metal bench, propping the heel of his boot on my knee. "Man, white girl. I can't believe my brother actually went to the NFL combine. It's getting real."
I eyed his tan Timberland boot that was almost the size of my leg as he relaxed, placing his back on the bench.
Don't get me wrong, I loved the fact that Demarcus had reached some new level of trust with me, but there was a fine line between comfortable and disrespectful. At least, that's how I was raised.
"Do I look like a foot rest?" I shoved his boot back onto the floor with a loud thud.
Demarcus rolled his eyes and sat up. "You told me his flight landed at nine." His eyes dropped to his diamond encrusted watch. "It's ten-fifteen."
"Flights get delayed all the time." I shrugged. "If I knew you were going to complain, I would've left you at home."
His full lips formed an 'O' shape and his eyebrow arched. "Is everything okay? You seem a little more irritable than usual today."
I sighed and glanced out into the crowd of people gathered along the wall blinking with flight schedules. Daxson asked you not to tell him, Allyson.
"I'm fine. I just can't wait for your brother to get back."
Demarcus chuckled beside me. "A week without him. I'm surprised you made it that long."
I couldn't bring myself to look back at Demarcus, not after I lied to him. "Stay here, I'm going to check the schedule."
With a few quick steps, I'd left him on the bench and disappeared into the crowd. The more distance I put between us, the less lies I'd have to tell. No matter how many times I'd lied in the past, it never got easier. I tried to convince myself that I was protecting the people I was lying to, but I'd decided that was a really twisted way of looking at it. A lie was a lie.
I weaved through the bustling people in the airport to come to a stop at the edge of a crowd surrounding the towering wall of flight schedules. The blue screens flickered every few seconds with new updates. A squeaky voice echoed out through the terminal. I couldn't see the owner of the voice from my place between two foreign men with pointy elbows, but it didn't take long for the man with the high-pitched voice to weasel his way to the front of the crowd.
"I'm a priority customer, and I still can't get home without a delay for my connecting flight," he huffed, tucking his carry-on bag further beneath his arm.
He had his nose so high in the air, he could've drowned in a rainstorm. This man would've fit right in with my family.
I focused on the screens of flight schedules, searching for the incoming flight from Indianapolis. As soon as I found it, someone slammed into me. It seemed almost effortless for the person to knock me to the floor. I caught myself on the cold tile and dipped my head to hide behind the curtain of my hair. How do I always find myself in these embarrassing situations?
This was a bad omen. Or maybe it was a sign from God? He just wanted to drop in and make my bad day even worse.
"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," the stranger with the annoying voice muttered, sticking out his hand.
I took the his hand and got back to my feet. "Obviously, it's a bad day for us both."
"You can say that again. I hate airports, but my job requires me to travel a lot. I'm just trying to make it home in time for my daughter's 5th birthday party," he trailed off, sighing heavily.
I studied the pained expression on his face. This guy wasn't stuck-up, he was just frustrated with his situation. Much like I was frustrated with mine.
"You know, if you don't make it on time, it won't be the end of the world. Just make sure your daughter knows how hard you tried to be there." I offered him a reassuring smile.
"I guess you're right. I've been worried about disappointing her. Her happiness is everything to me." He tapped his long fingers against his leather bag.
His words hit home with me. He was a father who wanted his daughter happy, even if it meant bulldozing people to the ground in the airport like a complete fool.
When his green eyes focused back on my face, a small smile tugged at his lips. "It's crazy how just a few words from a stranger can change your day."
I laughed. "Well, there's no reason to be strangers. I'm Allyson."
"Ally!"
My nickname from a familiar voice sent excitement coursing through my veins. It was exactly what I needed to hear to put all my worries at ease. I knew good-and-well it didn't come from a stranger, but it still changed my day.
The man chuckled. "Well, it looks like your day might be getting better as well, Allyson." His eyes flickered to something behind me. "Thank you for your kind words."
"You're welcome. Try not to run into anyone else today and wish your daughter a happy birthday from me."
He turned to leave, walking along with the people roaming the terminal. I watched his head bob among the crowd until he disappeared from my view. I jumped when it sounded like someone had dropped a bag to the floor.
I spun on my heels to come face-to-face with Daxson. How the ground between us was erased I would never recall, but one moment we were apart and the next we were morphed into a single being. The warmth of his body met my cold skin, giving me hope like he always did. I buried my nose into the divot between his neck and shoulder, inhaling the earthy scent of his cologne. He was my comfort, like my home away from home.
His strong hands folded around my back, drawing me in closer. My body shook and tears filled my eyes because I was unable to hold in the stress any longer.
Daxson pulled his head back and wiped my tears with the tips of his fingers. His golden eyes were a mix of joy and grief as he pulled his lips to mine. When he kissed me it was sweet and gentle, and everything I'd been craving.
He pulled away from me. "You look beautiful, but I can tell you've been a mess since I left."
"I haven't stopped thinking about it, Dax. There are so many emotions for me to process. It's hard to deal with." I sighed and rubbed my palms across his beard.
"Are you still sure this is what you want to do?" He asked.
"Yes, I've never been more sure of something. I refuse to let anyone keep me from loving you." I hoped he could see the seriousness in my eyes. "If they love me, then they should love who I love as well."
He didn't say anything, he just leaned forward to place his lips against my forehead. His hand snaked around my waist and pulled me against him like he would never let go. The longer we were together, the more I realized that his actions spoke much louder than his words.
"Aye, Dax. My celebrity big brother. My future NFL star. How was it?" Demarcus asked from behind me.
Daxson laughed and stepped forward to pull his brother into a side hug with his free arm. "It could've been better."
Demarcus cocked an eyebrow. "I noticed a few of your stats were a little lower than when we trained. What was up with that?"
"I've had a lot on my mind this week, D. Football isn't everything these days. I'll get drafted by someone regardless of how I did at the combine." Daxson's fingers spread out along the small of my back.
I squeezed Daxson's side because I knew he shouldn't have added the football line. It didn't take long for suspicion to creep onto Demarcus' face.
Demarcus narrowed his eyes. "You've both been acting pretty strange." He groaned loudly, to the point where I thought he was trying to make a scene, and snapped his fingers. "She's pregnant, isn't she bro? You just got into the heat of the moment anâ"
"I'm not pregnant." I rolled my eyes.
Daxson shook his head and focused his attention on his brother. "You say the stupidest shit sometimes. We've both had a lot going on recently. We just need some time to relax."
Demarcus grinned. "So, a romantic weekend getaway? I mean, just don't forget to wrap it uâ"
Daxson kicked his bag across the floor with enough accuracy I was sure he had every intention of hitting his brother. "Maybe you should take your own advice. I stopped buying condoms a while ago, and I'm pretty sure you stole the last few from the box in my nightstand. So, unless you've bought your own, you've been giving it to that Megan girl raw."
I couldn't help but giggle at their conversation. There was something about the playfulness in Daxson's deep tone that made everyone feel comfortable even if he was actually trying to teach a lesson. He'd gotten so used to being a father-figure for his siblings that I couldn't wait to see him as a father to his own children.
A frown replaced the grin on Demarcus face. "I really didn't think you'd notice that."
Daxson released me and moved closer to Demarcus. He patted his shoulder with a satisfied grin on his face. "I'm your big brother. I notice everything."
He bent to grab his bag from the floor. The distance between Daxson and a I made me squirm, so I skipped over to grab Daxson's free hand.
Demarcus shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets. "So, I take it you aren't coming back to the apartment tonight?"
"Not tonight." Daxson pointed toward his brother as we exited the airport. "But that doesn't mean you can go throwing parties and shit."
Demarcus chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, Dax. I've grown out of that phase. I'm trying to be a better man. I'll probably go back home and visit the family. You know Momma has had a tough time trying to keep Malik's ego in check since his team won the state championship."
"I think you just miss them and don't want to say it." Daxson raised an eyebrow as we came to a stop by his truck.
Demarcus shrugged. "Maybe that's it."
Daxson tossed his bag into the backseat of his truck and took a deep breath. He looked into my eyes before stepping around me to stand in front of Demarcus. "Don't ever be afraid to tell the people you care about that you love them. You never know when they won't be here anymore." He held his hand out.
A flicker of confusion crossed Demarcus face as he placed his hand into Daxson's and pulled him into a hug. They exchanged a few more words that I couldn't quite make out before Demarcus backed away, leaving Daxson and I standing alone.
"What did you say to him?"
Daxson walked back over to me and shoved his hands into his jeans. "I told him I loved him, and to tell Momma I wouldn't be the man I am today without her."
"You keep asking me, but I guess I really need to be the one to ask you. Are you sure you want to do this?" I placed my palm against his stomach.
Daxson nodded without hesitation. "I'm in love with you, Ally. It's too late to go back."
"I feel like I've just further complicated your already complicated life." My eyes fell to the ground between us as my stomach twisted into knots.
His finger lifted my chin up, forcing my eyes back to his face. "Never that. You've made my life better. Weren't you the one who told me God always has a plan?"
I sighed, but a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "It's not fair for you to use my own words against me, you jerk."
Daxson rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I just need you to take a few deep breaths. Everything will be fine, okay?" He dropped his hand to his side. "Stop worrying, and just focus on what you need to say to Caleb."
I nodded. "I can do that."
Daxson smiled before motioning to the car. "Let's do this then. It's time to take a trip to good ole Creighton, Sugar Pie."
I returned his smile and pushed his stomach playfully at the sound of a new nickname. He was never going to let the whole southern saying thing go. I backed away and hurried around the truck to climb into the passenger's seat.
During the beginning of the trip, Daxson and I chatted about his experience at the combine. He talked about some new friends he'd made, and he even mentioned a few different teams who had shown interest in him. From the way he talked, it appeared he was still undecided on which team he wanted to play for. Still, I was happy to see him with a positive view on his future.
As we got closer to Creighton and to my home, the quieter we both became. Daxson seemed focused on the road which allowed me to get lost in my own thoughts.
I focused on the landscape outside the truck window which was more beautiful than it had ever been, not because the scenery had changed, but because I had changed.
The familiar farmland stretched before the truck like a great stitched, brown quilt. The rows of the fields rose and fell like giant waves on a gentle ocean and were dotted with different pieces of farming equipment. Tractors tilled the fresh soil to prepare for the upcoming planting season. Occasionally, there was a section of trees, or a farmhouse, or a barn that separated the seemingly endless fields. The sun was a radiant, all-watching eye, its light creeping into every corner of the sky, bathing the whole world in a warm glow as it slowly sank beyond the horizon.
When I was younger, I took the beauty of my hometown for granted because I was always looking for a chance to escape my prison. Now, on my way to actually say goodbye, it was bittersweet.
I knew my father better than anyone, I was his little girl, his princess, and I knew he would be furious with the fact I was giving him an ultimatum. He wouldn't be able to stand the fact that he could lose me if he didn't make the choice to accept Daxson, despite the color of his skin.
I assumed he would follow in my grandfather's footsteps, he'd disown me because he didn't approve of the person my heart chose to love. I'd never be able to come back homeâto see the flowing fields where I'd spent so many hours of my childhood or my mother's beautiful garden filled with my favorite southern flowers. All I would have left were the memories of catching lightning bugs with Caleb or pushing him on the tire swing. The thought of never doing those things with him again brought tears to my eyes.
Even if Caleb and my mother didn't want to disown me, I knew they were stuck following my father's rules just like my mother had been their entire marriage. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces at the thought of leaving Caleb alone.
Tears welled along my eyelashes before slowly, one-by-one, they rolled down my cheeks. I'd always told Caleb we'd be in this together, that I'd forever be his protector, but here I was, coming back to say goodbye. No matter how much I thought he'd grown, I still felt guilty.
Daxson must've noticed my tears because his hand stretched across the console to rest on my thigh, giving it a firm squeeze. I glanced over at him and could see the concern swirling in his warm eyes.
"I hate seeing you in so much pain, Ally. I feel so helpless." His voice cracked in a few places which was really unlike him.
"I'm just a ball of emotions right now. I'm sorry." I exhaled a sharp breath.
Daxson put the truck in park at the edge of the gravel road right in front of my house. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to lose your family. I know all too well what it feels like... it's selfish of me to put you through it."
"But I know what it feels like to lose you too, Dax. That's not something I want to feel again." I studied his features and reached my hand up to touch his face in order to make sure this was all real and not a dream.
Daxson remained quiet, but his eyes were focused on mine through the fading light that shone through the windows of the truck.
"The hardest part of this whole situation is reminding myself I'm not a bad person. I'm making the best decision for me and my future, and my family should support that, but if they don't... then they're making the decision to lose me." I tore my eyes from Daxson to stare over at the old farmhouse with polished white columns where Caleb tested his first successful robot. That little ball of wires and metal climbed all the way to the top that day, and I'd never seen him so happy. "I'm the most sad about the thought of saying goodbye to Caleb. I feel like I'm breaking my promises to him."
Daxson eyes were still focused on the house when I looked back to him. "After my father passed away, my mother told me that the pain we feel when someone leaves our life is in direct proportion to the joy they bring while they're apart of our life for a few moments. You don't know what the outcome of this whole thing will be yet, but whatever it is, Ally, you should know Caleb will always love you. He will always be with you in your heart. Think of it not as a goodbye, but more of a..."
"A see you later." I smiled despite the cluster of nerves settling in the pit of my stomach. "You've been in therapy too long."
Daxson chuckled and pulled his attention back to me. "I think you're right." He pulled the key from the ignition.
I let out a quiet breath. "Can I ask you a question?"
He stopped moving with his hand on the door handle. "Of course."
"Why didn't you tell your family where you were going tonight?"
The muscles in Daxson's back tensed. "I didn't want them to be worried. They've already been through so much pain and hurt at the hands of racist white people... there's no need to tell them I'm walking right into the home of some. I just thought this was the best decision for everyone involved. It's my turn to protect them."
I touched Daxson's back. "They're lucky to have you, Dax."
He nodded before sliding out of the truck and closing the door. I took a few deep breaths to collect myself while I waited for Daxson to walk around the truck and open the door for me.
I took his hand as we started through the yard toward the house. "Please don't let go," I whispered, squeezing his hand.
"Never. I'm the number one receiver in the nation, you know I've got a good grip," he grinned as we walked up the steps to the porch.
Before I could knock on the door, the porch lights flickered on revealing a swarm of insects buzzing above our heads. The front door creaked as Caleb pushed it open. He had the biggest smile on his face.
"Allyson, I d-didn't know you were c-com.. going to be here." He stepped forward and patted my arm a few times.
"Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise, but looks like you caught us." I smiled at him, taking in every little freckle on his face.
Caleb giggled and glanced at Daxson, giving him a short, but happy wave. "It's good to s-see you again, Daxson."
Daxson smiled and held his fist out to Caleb. "It's always a pleasure to see you too, buddy."
Caleb pushed his own knuckles against Daxson's larger ones and grinned. "I've n-never had a h-handshake with someone before."
"Oh well, we will have to work on that, won't we?" Daxson squeezed my hand.
Caleb nodded excitedly before his attention returned to me. "Since you guys are here, I have to s-show you..." He turned to head back into the house, but I gently caught his arm.
He tapped his fingers together frantically as he looked at me. I pulled my hand away and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Caleb. I don't think we have time for that right now," I whispered even though I wanted nothing more than to see everything he wanted me to see.
His bottom lip trembled. "But Allâ"
"Caleb, who is at the door?" My mother's soft voice called from further in the house.
Caleb looked up at me for an answer to her question, but by the time I had formulated an answer, my mother rounded a corner and walked toward us. Her wide eyes were flickered between the three of us standing with the door wide open. She came to a stop next to me and threw her arms around me, allowing her tears to flow.
"Why're you here, Ally? You know your father won't like this." She looked behind me at Daxson as she took a step back.
"We're here because..." I trailed off because the words got stuck in my throat.
Daxson squeezed my hand and glanced at me. "We're here because we're in love."
I took a deep breath and looked from him to my mother. "I know y'all don't approve of our relationship, so I felt like I should be the one to tell you instead of you just finding out."
My mother's eyes flickered between Daxson and I before looking at Caleb. The tears continued to roll down her cheeks as Caleb gave her a soft smile and nodded.
She stepped forward to hold her hand out to Daxson. "I'm sorry, but I think we got off to the wrong foot last time we met. I'm Allyson's mother, but you can just call me Mary."
Daxson was hesitant to shake her hand. I couldn't tell if it was from surprise or fear, or maybe he was just piercing together everything I've ever told him about my mother. He knew our relationship was on the mend, but I don't think he was prepared for such a change in her.
Honestly, neither was I.
He finally shook her hand and flashed his warm smile. "I'm Daxson Winters. It's nice to finally meet you."
Caleb clapped his hands and gave me a reassuring smile. I tilted my head at my mother who stepped back from Daxson to stand beside Caleb.
"So, you're okay with this?" I asked, trying to hide the surprise in my voice.
My mother wiped away her tears and let out a quiet sigh.
My brother grabbed her hand. "This is your chance to tell her, Momma."
I focused on my mother who brushed her thick strands of blonde hair behind her ears. She stepped away from my brother and took both my hands in hers, glancing at Daxson briefly with a small smile.
She took a deep breath. "Ally, I know our relationship has been rocky over the past few years." She paused, forcing me to squeeze her hands to give her the strength to keep going.
She gave me a soft smile. "There's been times when I've been a flat out terrible mother, but I've never stopped loving you. You and Caleb are the best things that have ever happened to me, and I'll have to spend the rest of my life making up for lost time. Caleb and I have had lots of talks since your visits at Thanksgiving and Christmas and he helped me realize I've never had the opportunity to tell you how proud of you I am. You've become such a strong, independent woman with a good head on your shoulders."
I couldn't contain my own tears as I thrust my arms around her neck, pulling her into a hug. "I love you, mom."
My mother sniffled a few times. "I trust your decisions in life. As your mother, I want nothing more than your happiness, Ally." Her eyes moved over to Daxson who was leaning against one of the columns on the porch. "And if he's your happiness, then nothing should keep you from him."
"Thank you." I released her to move back to Daxson.
Daxson wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head with a smile. "See, things aren't as bad as you thought they'd be."
"Did Caleb tell you about his acceptance to the MIT summer camp?" My mother asked.
Daxson and I looked immediately at Caleb who had a shit-eating grin on his face.
"I tried to t-tel... to show you about it." He glanced up in the air.
I rushed over to throw my arms around him, even though I knew it would make him uncomfortable. He squealed and pushed me away.
I stepped back. "I'm sorry, but I'm so excited for you. This is your dream that's coming true."
"Looks like b-both of us are accomplishing our dreams." He patted my shoulder, making sure to keep distance between us.
"You'll see my sister there too. Alexis got her letter yesterday," Daxson added.
We all went silent when we heard my father's heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. I stepped back into Daxson's arms, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest.
"Mary, where are you?" His gravely voice carried out to the porch.
My mother sighed heavily before glancing over her shoulder. "We're out on the porch. Ally made a surprise visit."
My father's tall frame appeared before he slammed the door shut behind him and stepped onto the porch. "Were you raised in a barn? Keep the damn door shut."
His jaw locked when he saw Daxson's arms wrapped around my waist.
"Hey Daddy." I gave him a wave, trying to keep my voice strong. "It's been a while."
My father's eyes were locked on Daxson. "What the hell is this?" he growled.
I held my hands out. "I've already explained it to Momma, but basically I wanted to be the one to tell you."
My father turned his attention to my mother who was standing with Caleb. "You knew about this?"
My mother shook her head. "I didn't until she got here, John, but look at how happy she is."
He shook his head. "Allyson, I told you I would not accept this behavior. That hasn't changed. How dare you bring him here." He raised his hand toward me.
Daxson pushed me behind him. "Don't you raise your hand at her, ever. She has done absolutely nothing wrong."
My father stepped forward. "Who do you think you are talking to, boy? You come to my house and to tell me you're taking my daughter, and think you can puff your chest out at me?"
"I'm not trying to take her anywhere. You're pushing her away because you're so stuck in the past." He stared my father down.
I dug my fingers into Daxson's T-shirt and tried to separate the two of them. "Stop."
"Daddy, look, it doesn't have to be like this. Why can't you see how happy I am?" I asked, trying to push through the anger set in his features.
My father stomped his boot against the porch like a toddler throwing a fit. "I told you what would happen if you chose him over your family, Allyson." He turned his back on me and pulled the door to the house open. "You're not welcome in this house anymore. Get the hell off my porch."
The door slammed shut behind him as he disappeared into the house. I stared after him in disbelief.
"I think it's best if you go for tonight, Ally. I'll call you when things have settled down." My mother's voice was almost a whisper.
I looked up at Daxson who nodded in agreement. "Nothing good ever happens when you try to talk in anger."
Caleb stepped away from my mother. "I l-love you, Allyson."
I kneeled down in front of him and smiled through the tears. " I love you too, Caleb with my whole heart. You might not see me for a while, but I want you to know I'll always be here with you."
Caleb touched his heart. "You'll always be right here."
I nodded and placed my hand over his. "You're exactly right."
Suddenly, he threw his arms around my neck and pulled me up against him in the tightest hug he's ever given me. I wrapped my arms around him and for the first time, he didn't squirm or squeal or try to move away. He just stood there and let me hug him.
My mother stepped over to us and wrapped her arms around us as well. "We'll be okay, Ally I promise."
I released them and got back to my feet, wiping away a few of my stray tears.
My mother looked to Daxson. "Please take care of my little girl."
Daxson took my hand in his and nodded. "I promise I will."
I waved to Caleb one more time as Daxson lead me down from the porch. We were silent as we crossed the yard, and I told myself I wasn't gong to look back over my shoulder. If I did, I might fall apart even more.
My mother's voice was faint, but I could hear her saying something to my father inside the house. Her voice grew louder until she was yelling my father's name. The sound of the front door swinging open forced us to stop in the yard.
"John, stop!" My mother chased my father down the stairs, but the darkness made it hard to see them. "Don't do this."
All I could focus on was my father storming toward us in the dark and my brother yelling at the top of his lungs from the porch.
"Allyson, Daxson, run!" My mother finally yelled, but it was too late.
The sound of a gunshot pieced the quiet country air and echoed into the night.