The steady upbeat rhythm of some new pop song helped create the relaxed ambience of The Baked Bear, one of the most popular ice cream joints in the city. Even for a Wednesday night, the place was busy, filled with little old women who only wanted the senior discount and screaming children.
I stared at the ice cream sandwich I'd createdâtwo chocolate chip cookies with homemade vanilla ice cream squished between them and tossed in cookie dough crumbles. It looked fantastic, but I couldn't tell you why I got it. Maybe to make Madison and Camila feel better? Or maybe so I could keep convincing myself that everything was going to be fine.
Madison chatted away with a young blonde girl behind the register. I couldn't make out what exactly she was saying, but her lips moved at ninety-to-nothing without the intention of stopping. It must've been interesting because the girl behind the counter had the biggest smile on her face.
Camila slid into one of the empty blue chairs beside me with a heavy sigh, tilting her head back to look up at the ceiling. "Man, I'm tired. Bible school was really good tonight though. I was impressed with Anne's lesson."
I folded my hands into my lap and nodded. "I agree. I liked how she incorporated Paul at the city of Ephesus and seizing your opportunities. It really moved me."
I was glad that Camila had talked Madison and I into attending her bible study because Anne had hit home with her lesson this week. She made me remember how precious the time God gives us really is and how important it is to seize your opportunities. Sadly, she also reminded me that time passes in the blink of an eye.
It'd already been a few weeks since I'd seen or talked to Daxson, but to me, it felt like so much longer. The days seemed a little dimmer without him around, less spontaneous and more structured. I'd told him I wanted more stability, but I didn't picture it like thisâ without him. I missed his lame sayings and his cute blonde curls. He might want to pretend I don't exist, but it didn't stop me from cheering him on in the background.
"Allyson, did you hear what I said?" Camila asked, waving her hand in front of my face.
I glanced at her. "Uh, no, sorry. I didn't catch it."
"I said, what did you write down as the opportunity you want to seize this month?" Her brown eyes studied my face.
I picked up my fork and poked at the ice cream sandwich on my plate. "Isn't it like against the rules to tell you?"
"No, I'm pretty sure that only applies to birthday wishes. So, spill." She folded her arms across her chest.
"I want to find another opportunity to talk to Daxson. Just a chance to apologize." I sighed and set my fork back down.
Madison slid into the empty seat to my right. "Oh my God. Isn't this place just the best? Keith brought me here on our first date." Her eyes flickered between us before she finally realized she interrupted our conversation. "Oh, my bad. Don't mind me."
Camila rolled her eyes at Madison before glancing back to me. "I think that's a reasonable goal. I know how close you guys were, so maybe he'll give you a chance."
Madison shoved a bite of her ice cream sandwich in her mouth before wiping her lips with her napkin. "Girl, the best things in life you've gotta work for. You might've fucked up, but everyone makes mistakes. If you really care about him like you say you do, you need to prove that to him."
"I just feel like he wants nothing to do with me." I fiddled with the ends of my hair.
"Do you blame him? Ally, you lied to him." Camila shook her head, but reached across the table to grab my hand.
Daxson allowed me to be myself, and I loved that feeling. I mixed that feeling with what I thought was love for Daxson and used that as the excuse for not telling him about my parents, but the truth is I never stepped back to see the bigger picture.
I was only focused on how I would feel if I lost him because I was afraid I'd lose myself again. There wasn't a single time I thought about how the situation would him impact him. In all honesty, a few weeks ago I was incapable of truly loving him. Maybe he knew. Maybe that's why he never said he loved me.
But a lot has happened to me those few weeks.
I realized that Daxson didn't make me Allyson. He only helped me find her hidden beneath the façade of perfection my mother had created. Just because he wasn't around didn't mean my progress completely fell apart.
I'd begun mending my relationship with my mother after our talk on Thanksgiving. She had kept her promise and started the process of removing Caleb from school. For the first time, I actually look forward to her calls instead of dreading them. I hadn't talked to my grandpa since Thanksgiving, and I was okay with that. If he couldn't accept that fact that I wouldn't condemn Daxson, then he didn't have to be in my life.
I'd also agreed to do some lab research with Dr. Pathak. He was excited to have the help, and I knew it would look good on my application to medical school. In a few weeks, I was able to reestablish myself and push my life in the right direction.
I had also used the time to figure out that my life was better with Daxson, not because I needed himâ because I wanted him.
Camila squeezed my fingers after a few moments of silence. "But it definitely won't hurt to show him how much you care about him."
Madison nodded as she shoveled another bite into her mouth. "You know tonight is a big night for him," she mumbled.
Camila released my hand and smiled. "He's in New York."
"He's the front-runner to win the Hiesman tonight. I'd been telling him since September that he'd be the one taking the trophy home." I glanced at my hands.
"You could send him a text. Just to wish him good luck," Madison suggested.
I contemplated sending a message, staring at my phone beside my plate on the table. It'd at least show him I was still thinking about him. My fingers wrapped around my phone as I hastily typed the message.
Good luck tonight. Not that you need it.
I tossed my phone back onto the table with a clatter and took a deep breath. "I did it."
Camila laughed and rested her chin in her hands. "Good for you."Â Her eyes wandered over to Madison. "So, we've heard all about Allyson's reunion with her mother and troubles with Daxson, but what about you? You haven't talked much about your holiday break."
Madison dabbed the corners of her mouth with her napkin and shrugged. "Not much to say."
"You took Keith to meet your mother and it wasn't eventful?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Not really. Momma liked him, of course. Everything went fine." She stared across the room in an effort to avoid eye contact.
Camila and I shared a glance.
"I figured you'd be over the moon about the whole thing. Your parents liking your significant other is a big deal." I tucked my hair behind my ears.
Camila pointed at me. "Yeah, it could've turned out like Ally's."
I shot her a glare before turning my attention back to Madison.
"It is great, I mean, if I want to stay with him." She sighed and drummed her long nails along the metal table. "I, just, I mean it's not that I don't like Keith. He's everything I'm supposed to want. He's the type of guy who is going to help me achieve my dreams. He's smart, he's funny, he doesn't lie to me or cheat on me. He's so cute when he wears his little button up shirts, but he doesn't make me feel the way Samson did."
"Was that your ex?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Yeah, him. The drug dealer. The man who gave me everything I needed to feel like a queen, but shattered my life in the process." She held her hand to her face to hide the tremble in her chin.
I knew Madison had a troubled past, but I didn't realize quite how dark it had been. "You seemed so happy with Keith. What brought on the sudden change in heart?"
Camila smacked her palm against the table. "You saw him this weekend, didn't you? You saw Samson when you went back home."
Madison nodded as she moved her hair to one side of her neck. "I did. It was the first time I'd seen him since he got my brother sent to prison."
"Madison, you should've known better than to go seâ" Camila started, but Madison cut her short.
"It wasn't intentional. Momma's stove went out the day before Thanksgiving, and we couldn't find anyone to repair it. Momma knew K&K's used to be my favorite, so she sent me down the road to grab dinner while Keith helped her move some chairs in her salon. Samson was there having dinner there with his sister. He apologized to me for everything. He seemed to genuinely be different, and it relit that spark. All those memories..." Madison exhaled and shook her head. "I care about Keith, but he'll never be Samson."
"But he sent your brother to prison, Madison." Camila looked at her with a shocked expression.
"My brother should've known better than to get involved in dealing, especially the second time. Maybe Samson taught his dumb ass a lesson." She glared at Camila.
Camila leaned forward on the table. "Maybe your brother was only involved with him to protect you, huh? Have you ever thought about that? I just don't understand why you won't even talk to your brother about what happened, but you're so willing to run right back to the guy who got him locked up."
"Love and lust make people do crazy things," I whispered, picking at my nails beneath the table.
Although I agreed with Camila's logic, I knew where Madison was coming from. It was hard to deny an attraction to someone, especially someone you know you're not supposed to want. There was an undeniable attraction between Daxson and I from the very first day. It was something I'd never felt with anyone else.
"So, you think it's fine she gets back with the guy who cheated on her, lied to her, and put her brother in prison? Have you lost your mind too?" Camila scoffed.
"Whoa, whoa." I held my hands up. "I'm not saying it's fine. I don't want to see her get back with someone who mistreated her, but I know where she's coming from. There's something about that one person. That one person who can stand beside you and make you feel stronger. They make you laugh a little louder and smile a little more. They make you want to be better because they push you to achieve your dreams. If you're better, they're better. They give you a sense of safety and to be wrapped in their armsâ it makes you feel like you're finally home."
Madison sighed, but a soft smile formed on her lips. "I have to be honest, Samson never made me feel like that. He made me feel good, but what you described, that sounds like love to me. That sounds like two people who deserve to be together."
"That sounds like someone admitting they love someone." Camila smirked.
My eyes flickered between them before I sat back in my seat. "I don't just love him. I'm in love with him."
"Then, we need to give you that opportunity." Madison smiled as she extended her hand to touch my arm. "We could do a Christmas fundraiser for the local Children's hospital. I need community service hours anyway. Lights, decorations, donations. I'm sure we could get the whole athletic department involved. It would look good for the football team before the SEC title game."
"You'd do all of that for me?" I asked.
Camila rolled her eyes. "Allyson, we'd do anything for you. We're your best-friends. Plus, I've always loved a good romance story." She lifted her bag from the floor to show off the edge of a book sticking out of the top.
Madison glanced across the table at Camila."By the way, my opportunity I'm going to seize this month is going to visit my brother in prison. My mother is scheduled to go see him right before Christmas. I'm going to see what he says before I trust that Samson has changed."
I couldn't stop from smiling at Madison. I knew how hard it was for her to agree to talk to her brother. It seemed like she'd been angry at him for a long time.
"That's great. I'm sure your mother is happy," I responded.
Camila watched Madison across the table. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I was coming at you earlier. I just wanted you to really think all of this through before you made any decisions, especially regarding Keith. He's a good guy."
Madison nodded. "Trust me, I know."
My eyes flickered to who I assumed was the manager. He hurried across the store with a small black remote in his hand. He held it up at the flatscreen hanging on the wall above our heads, jabbing his finger onto the buttons in an effort to change the channel. "They're about to announce the winner of the Heisman trophy."
I turned in my chair to look up at the screen behind me. The camera panned across the large crowd in attendance at the ceremony before focusing on the three Heisman candidates. Daxson sat in the last seat on the front row with his eyes focused forward and his hands clasped in front of him. His stubble had grown into a beard that framed his sharp jawline. The tattoos I'd grown to love were hidden beneath the sleeves of a black suit jacket that looked more expensive than my entire wardrobe. He lowered his head when the announcer's voice reclaimed the room.
"And now, I am proud to announce that this year's Heisman trophy winner is..." He paused for an annoying dramatic effect, and I gripped the back of my seat. "Daxson Winters of the University of Alabama."
My heart soared with happiness to see Daxson accomplish another one of his goals. I hoped he knew exactly how proud his father would have been of him. How proud I was of him.
Everyone on the screen and in The Baked Bear erupted into applause as Daxson stood from his seat with a warm smile. He shared a few moments with his fellow candidates before walking across the room, searching for someone in the crowd. My eyes followed him as he found his mother and siblings, who were hidden in the crowd. Tears streamed down Jasmine's face as she wrapped her arms around him. He greeted each of his siblings before leaving them to walk onto the stage, and shake hands with all the former winners.
The large silver trophy shimmered beneath the lights as it set on a stand next to the podium. Daxson shoved his hands into his pockets as he came to a stop in the middle of the stage beside it.
"Man, this is crazy." He paused as he looked out at the crowd. "Uh, I know I've been here before, but I still can't believe it. I've worked my whole life to fulfill my goals, but I know there's also a higher power looking down on me. He enables me to do all things, and for that I'm grateful. God has blessed me in so many ways."
Daxson seemed to finally be at peace with God again, despite everything He'd put him through. I was happy to see him so free.
"I also want to congratulate my other boys here for their historic seasons. It's been an honor to spend time with y'all the past two days and to meet your families. To the Heisman trust and voters, I just want to say thank you for your support for another year. This is an honor. It's something I'll never forget and cherish for the rest of my life. I want to say to Coach Saban that you and your family have been nothing but supportive to me since the day I stepped foot on campus. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be part of such a historic program."
The screen split to show Daxson and Coach Saban, who wore the same small smile that he did when he talked to the press. The camera focused back on the stage.
Daxson's hands left his pockets to rub his chin as he sucked in a deep breath. "To Coach Wiggins," he paused. "Nobody really knows how hard these past couple of years have been for me, but through it all, you pushed me. You helped me stay the course. You kept me going and kept me focused. Thank you for believing in me. To my boys back home, there's no way I could've accomplished any of this without you. I know you guys will always have my back. You might hurt my pockets on Tuesdays at the café, but I'd run through a brick wall for you. Lastly, to my parents, my mom and my dad. My dad isn't able to be here, but I think it goes without saying that he's a legend to me. He'll always be my role model. I wouldn't be up here if it wasn't for him introducing me to the game. Uh, to my mother, my best-friend. I could be up here all day talking about you, but just know I'm thankful you're my mother and I love you. To my brothers and sister, y'all mean everything to me. Y'all are my support system. Since I know this will be my last time, I just want to say thank you to the fans of Alabama, and Roll Tide."
Fans cheered around us as Daxson lifted the trophy from the stand. The manager flicked the television off, and I turned in my chair to look at Madison and Kiara. "I told him he'd win."
Camila laughed. "As you already know, or couldn't tell from the speech, he's a humble guy."
Madison snapped her fingers. "So, we need to talk about the details for this event we're planning... which is actually a secret operation to get Allyson and Daxson a chance to talk."
"You're the event planner and designer. You tell us." Camila leaned back in her chair.
When a message lit up my phone, I blocked out the rest of their conversation. My eyes focused on his name on my screen, and my fingers trembled as I unlocked my phone. I couldn't wait to read the message I felt like I had been waiting an eternity for, but that feelingâand everything elseâchanged in an instant.
If you weren't invited tonight, it means I don't want you in my life.