Chapter 34: ❝ makes me feel alive ❞

(unedited)

I feel something so wrong,

By doing the right thing.

I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie,

Everything that kills me,

Makes me feel alive.

"Counting Stars" –One Republic

Surprisingly, the next couple days passed without incident.

It might've been because everyone was busy with Christmas, or because I hadn't seen the Elite much since school let out for winter break, but either way, I was thankful. I needed a bit of a break to think, and just get away from everything Elite-related.

I was just hoping that the killer is focused on filling stockings and finding non-cheesy Christmas wrapping paper instead of plotting a way to slice me into ribbons.

When I woke up Christmas morning, Raine and Kaden were already up. I could hear them moving around in the kitchen as I made my way downstairs, hoping I wouldn't walk in on them having sex on the kitchen table or something.

It was actually a pretty typical scene.

Kaden was sitting at the breakfast bar, reading the newspaper as he drank something -coffee probably- from his mug while Raine stood at the stove, cooking something. Eggs, I think, from the smell of it.

Raine looked back as I sat down beside Kaden. "Oh, good you're awake," she said.

I nodded, stifling a yawn. "Morning."

"We'll open present after breakfast, okay?" she told me. I nodded even though she had already turned around. There was still a little coffee left in the coffeemaker so I poured it into my cup, then filled the rest with milk. It had more milk than coffee, but I was fine with that since I didn't particularly like the bitter taste of caffeine.

"Thanks," I said when Raine set down a plate with eggs and toast in front of me. She put the other beside Kaden's coffee then grabbed one for herself.

She poked Kaden lightly after she sat down. "Hey, you. Eat."

Kaden lowered the newspaper and glanced at her. "But Russian politics are so interesting," he teased, but folded up the newspaper nonetheless.

I wrinkled my nose. "You guys are gross."

Raine simply laughed. "We could be worse," she pointed out.

"I think you guys are pretty bad enough," I replied. I guess she had a point, I mean at least they were better in public, but it was still pretty weird at home. Blake and Avril hadn't been like that as much, though I wasn't sure if that was their nature, or if it was just not around me since at the time I had still believed that boys had cooties.

Breakfast didn't take long, since Raine kept probing at us to finish. I think she was more excited about opening presents than I was. "Okay, Lena, you first," she said as we moved to sit around the Christmas tree. She handed me a bag lined with tissue paper, and a small, slightly messily wrapped box.

I decided to open Kaden's first, the box. I set the bag down and shook the box gently. No sound. It was possible that it was jewellery, with a lot of tissue around it, but they both knew I didn't wear it often. I glanced at Kaden, who was watching me with a small smile on his face, but giving nothing away. I slid my finger under the tape and pulled it free.

The box was simple, white. Inside, there was a piece of paper. Garage, was all it said. I looked up at Kaden, eyebrow raised. "Tell me this isn't some kind of scavenger hunt again." Last year, he had given me note, like this one. It had a destination written on it, and in that place, there was another box, with another destination. The end present had been my car, so there was really no guessing what it could be this time.

He shrugged. "Go and find out."

I sighed and stood up to walk to the garage. I flicked on the light and looked around. Nothing out of the ordinary. There was Raine's car, Kaden's car, my car, a bunch of random stuff we should probably sort through sometime, Raine's bike- and behind it, a bow peeked out. I walked over and moved it out of the way, then stared.

They got me a bike.

I heard footsteps and glanced up to see Raine and Kaden standing at the garage doorway. "Why'd you get me a bike?" I asked.

Kaden raised an eyebrow. "You really thought we didn't know you've been using Raine's old one?"

Kaden's freakish all knowing powers strike again.

And I thought I was good at keeping things hidden.

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

I liked the car they got me, really. It wasn't like I never used it. I usually drove to school. But I didn't use it as much as I could've. I did prefer using Raine's bike, it made me feel more grounded. The car was shiny, and new, and top-of-the-line. I didn't feel like I belonged in it, as stupid as that may have sounded.

Raine shrugged. "It's alright if you like biking. I did."

"Why'd you get me a new one?" I asked curiously, running a finger along the bow. The bike was beautiful, I loved it. It wasn't -or at least didn't look like it was- fancy enough that I felt uncomfortable with it. It was light blue, and looked simple enough, but knowing Kaden, it probably had all kinds of safety things I didn't know about.

"Because Raine's bike is over fifteen years old. And it looks okay, but I don't want to take the risk, especially if you're going to be using it a lot," Kaden replied.

I grinned. Knew it.

"I love it," I told him. I gave him a hug once we were back in the living room, then sat down to open Raine's present. It was a pretty big bag, with white tissue paper at the top that kept me from seeing anything in the bag. I glanced at Raine, who gave me an encouraging smile.

The tissue paper came out in bundles. There was a sheet at the top, then everything else was wrapped in it. I took out the biggest one and set it on the floor. It didn't feel heavy, so it probably wasn't glass, but I still wanted to be careful not to accidentally break something.

I unwrapped it to pull out a bikini. The next bundle held sunglasses. Designer ones, probably, thought I wasn't familiar with the brand. The one after that had a small bag with all kinds of lotions- sunscreen, moisturizers- all in travel size bottles. Flip flops. A short, thin dress- something you'd wear over a swimsuit.

"Are we going to the beach, or something?" I asked.

Raine shrugged. "Well, you said the Elite invited you to a beach cottage, didn't you?"

Wait, what?

I blinked, and stared, not sure if I had heard wrong.

She grinned.

I glanced at Kaden. He looked a little uneasy, but he didn't disagree, or anything. Which meant Raine had managed to convince him to let me go with the Elite. Even if it meant that my bones might be shipped back bit by bit.

Though I really don't think that's the Elite's style.

"You managed to convince him?" I asked Raine, just to make sure.

She nodded.

"How?" I knew Raine was good at convincing Kaden to give in, but he had seemed so dead set on not letting me go.

"He was just being overprotective," she said. She gave him a teasing look. "As usual."

"Don't make me regret it," he grumbled.

I jumped up and gave Raine a hug. "Thank you!"

"I don't think I like how excited you are about it," Kaden commented. I shrugged. Yeah, I knew the Elite were dangerous, but I guess, sometime in the past two months I had spent with them, I had started liking them. Or at least, some of them.

It made me nervous, since I knew one of them wanted to kill me, but not all of them were horrible people. I like Skylar, and Vanessa, and Nathan, and sometimes even Ashton and Jacen when they weren't being annoying. Even if I didn't trust any of them completely.

Not to mention, if I was spending a week with them, and their families, I would probably be able to find out more about them. If I was lucky, I'd get some answers. Or at least something that might help. Hopefully.

"You know I have rules for you, though, right?" Kaden said.

Raine swatted him on the arm. "Quit ruining the moment."

He held up his hands, and relented. "Alright fine. We'll talk about it when you leave." I could already guess his rules, but I didn't let it dampen my mood.

"Okay, who's next?" Raine asked, bringing us back to the subject of Christmas presents. I moved around the tree and pulled out hers and Kaden's.

They glanced at each other.

"You go first," Kaden said, nodding at Raine.

I had wrapped both Raine and Kaden's presents, putting everything into boxes, then wrapping them and taping them together. After taking them apart, she unwrapped the flatter one- the DVD. "Oh my god," she said.

Kaden leaned over. "Is that...?"

Raine nodded and glanced at me. "Where did you find this?"

I shrugged. "There are a lot of things online."

"Exclusive edition," Kaden read, eyebrows raised. "Bloopers, extra commentary, interviews and deleted scenes."

"I'm kind of scared to know what's on this," Raine admitted, looking at Kaden. "We never saw what bloopers Kallie and Brett put in." She shook her head and turned back to me. "Thanks, Lena. I think it'll be... an interesting experience watching this again."

I grinned. "No problem."

Raine set down the DVD beside her and moved onto the other box- the perfume. She pulled out the bottle and uncapped it, spraying a little on the inside of the wrist. "I've never heard of this brand," she remarked.

"Vanessa suggested it to me," I told her.

She read the label. "It's organic. And warm. It's perfect, Lena, thank you." She pulled me into a tight hug, then glanced at Kaden once she pulled back. "Your turn."

I grinned.

"I feel like I should be scared," Kaden muttered, detaching the boxes from each other and unwrapping the smaller one. He pulled out the plastic turtle. "What...?" he asked, glancing at me.

Raine leaned over and shook the box, then pulled out the instruction manual. She glanced at it. "It's a massage toy," she said, sounding amused.

I shrugged. "He's too tense."

Kaden rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Lena."

"You still have another thing," I reminded him. I usually got Raine and Kaden two gifts- one that was somewhat silly, and not the most useful, and one that was more serious.

He unwrapped the second one and pulled out a keyboard. He glanced at me and raised an eyebrow. "Thanks?"

I shrugged. "It's for your iPad. Raine said you do more stuff on it, but type faster on your laptop. So I got you an iPad keyboard."

"Thank you." He smiled, then glanced at Raine. "I didn't you noticed this stuff."

Oh no, I know where this is going. I quickly grabbed the closest present to me, and handed it to Raine. "Next," I said before they could start making out or something in front of me, since they were already looking and smiling sappily at each other. Raine pulled away, laughing quietly. She took the present and handed it to Kaden.

Oops, forgot to check the label.

It was very, very flat. Like a piece of paper. Kaden gave Raine a curious look before leaning down to unwrap it. It was a piece of paper, and looked sort of official, like something medical, or government, or business related. Kaden froze, then glanced at her. "Is this what I think it is?"

Raine nodded, biting her lip.

I looked between them. What the hell could be on that paper? A cancer report? Divorce contract? Those would both be a really shitty, and really cruel Christmas gift. I could see tears in Kaden's eyes, which never happened. I had never seen him cry before.

What the hell?

Then Kaden moved, and before I knew it, he and Raine were kissing.

Oh. Alright then.

I cleared my throat, causing them to break apart. "What's going on?" I asked.

In answer, Kaden flipped the paper around to show me. It was a black and white picture of something. The picture was shaped sort of like a piece of like a rounded trapezoid. Most of it was dark, with the exception of a couple lighter blobs in the middle. It took me a moment to place it.

Holy shit is that an ultrasound?

I glanced at Raine. "You're pregnant?"

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kaden asked.

"I wanted to be sure," she replied. "And out of the risk period."

"All the doctor appointments-"

She nodded.

"And when you said you just ate something bad-"

She nodded again.

"And how sensitive your-"

"Yeah," Raine cut in before he could finish. Thank god, though I already had an idea what he had been about to say. I winced. I was happy for them, really, but there were some things I didn't need to know.

"I can't believe I didn't notice," Kaden said. "Eleven weeks."

"You've been busy," Raine replied. "And it hasn't started showing yet."

"Do you know the gender yet?" I asked. I could be getting a little sister, or brother. Well, adopted sister or brother, but still. If I was still around to see him or her, that is.

Don't think like that, Lena.

Raine shook her head. "The doctor said I wouldn't find out until at least fifteen weeks."

"There's a lot to do," Kaden said, standing up. He began pacing back and forth. "Mom and Dad will want to know, and Kallie and Brett, and Clark and Annabelle. We have to prepare a nursery, and buy clothes..." he muttered to himself.

I stared at Raine with wide eyes. "I've never seen him like this, it's freaking me out."

She simply shook her head, and laughed.

♡ the trouble with love ♡

Kaden came to my room as I was checking that I had everything packed. "How are you getting there?" he asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Ashton said he'd come pick me up," I replied.

"You sure you still want to go?"

I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. "That's a yes, then."

"Don't worry," I said.

"Telling me not to worry isn't going to make me worry less," he told me. "I don't like you being alone with Ashton and his friends."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, you've made it clear many times. I can take care of myself."

"I still have a list of rules." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of folded paper. Then unfolded it. And unfolded it again. And again. And again. And again.

Holy shit how big is that thing? How many rules does he have?

"Kaden..." I trailed off, giving him a wary look.

He smirked. "Just kidding." He flipped it over to show me that the other side was blank, then folded it back up.

I groaned. "Your sense of humor sucks."

"I do have some rules, though," he said, sobering. "Keep your cell phone charged and on you. All the time. Call me at least twice a day, once after you wake up and once before you go to bed. No sex. With any of them. Ever."

I blinked. "Kaden-"

Not that I would, but ever? What the hell?

"If you drink, don't do it around them."

"I don't drink anyway!" These are getting a little ridiculous.

"If you do drugs-" He paused. "Don't do drugs. At all. No conditions."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't do half of these things anyway," I reminded him. Drugs... No. I wasn't sure if there was anyone at Blaire Academy who did them -probably- but I was unsocial enough that I didn't mix with that group if it existed. I kinda didn't mix with anyone, actually, but whatever. Drinking made me spill secrets, so that was out. And having sex? Yeah, that'd get me killed. Literally.

"Oh, and don't get pregnant," he said.

I glanced up at the ceiling in exasperation. "How am I supposed to get pregnant, if I don't have sex? Artificial insemination?"

"Don't do that either," he told me, a completely serious expression on his face.

I resisted the urge to scream. "I don't think the Elite's goal is to get me pregnant.

He ignored me, moving into my room and sitting down on my bed, beside the suitcase. "Do you have everything?"

"Are you going to do a suitcase check?" I asked.

"That's not a bad ide-" he started.

I flipped the cover over my stuff and zipped the suitcase closed. "No."

He held up his hands in surrender, chuckling a little. "Alright, fine. Maybe I was being a little overbearing."

I raised an eyebrow. "A little?"

He shrugged. "When is Ashton coming?"

"He should be here any minute," I said, after checking the alarm clock on my night table. "Which means I should probably wait downstairs."

Kaden lifted the suitcase off the bed as I grabbed the last of my things, stuff I was keeping on me, like my phone, and wallet. "Are you still nervous?" I asked as we walked down the hall. He hadn't mentioned any of his concerns about the Elite recently. The rules he had given me had been pretty standard, ones I probably would've gotten no matter who I was going away with.

"Yes," he replied. We made it down the stairs and he set my suitcase down in the front foyer. I peeked through the window. No car there, though I wasn't sure if Ashton was going to be at the gate or coming through.

I turned back to Kaden. "If it makes you feel better, their parents are going to be there," I told him.

He shook my head. "That makes me even more nervous."

"Why?" I gave him a curious look. Kaden knew all of the Elite's parents, and he had probably met most of them as well. I knew he and Sebastian Sinclair were acquaintances, at the very least, and business partners as well sometimes. I wasn't sure about the rest of them, but they ran in the same circles so Kaden had to know them.

Another shake of head. "It's not something I want to discuss, Lena."

"You've met them all before, though," I pointed out. "Right?"

He nodded, and sighed. "Some of them aren't the most honorable in the way they run their businesses. You being around people like that, and their children makes me nervous."

"I'm surprised you haven't built a case against them before this." If Kaden knew something bad was going on, especially if it affected a lot of people, like the Elite's businesses could, he usually tried to do something about it, even if he hadn't been hired by anyone to do so.

He didn't always take it to court, sometimes just investigated using the connections he had and found evidence. He used to turn that evidence over to Blake, since Blake had been a police officer. I wasn't sure what he did now, maybe gave it to Shawn, instead?

"They're powerful people," Kaden said quietly.

I raised an eyebrow. "That's never stopped you before."

He sighed again, glancing at me. "They're mysterious people; they keep a lot of secrets. You know that, Lena."

I stared at him. "You've tried before, haven't you?" I asked. Kaden knew a lot about the Elite. They were famous, yeah, but he seemed to know things magazines and TV specials didn't report.

He could've gotten information from Ashton, I guess, but something told me that wasn't quite it. I was pretty sure Ashton wouldn't share anything he thought wasn't necessary to the case. Hell, I knew he didn't even share some things that were necessary to the case.

"Lena-" Kaden started.

"But they're still free," I cut in. "Which means it didn't work." Which was rare. Kaden almost never failed a case. Sometimes people who worked for him did and he had to take the burn, but never cases he himself took. In fact, I could only think of one big case that he, personally, hadn't been able to fix.

I glanced at him. "There's only one case you never solved..."

"Lena-" he tried again.

I shook my head. "Blake and Avril's."

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Is the Elite related to their... Murder?" I asked, my voice cracking.

He opened his mouth to reply-

Then, the doorbell rang.

-- ♡ --

Teaser: Did that mean Blake and Avril were killed by someone in the Elite or their families? The people I was spending an entire week with?

QotC: Who has read Summer Rain, lol? Or, thoughts on Elena and Kaden's relationship?

PS. So apparently I'm not good at hiding things because everyone guessed Raine's pregnancy. 0.0

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