(unedited)
I know I tend to get so insecure,
It doesn't matter anymore.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah.
My heart is full and my door's always open,
You come anytime you want, yeah.
"She Will Be Loved" -Maroon 5
There was probably only two things I was completely sure of in this whole mess.
One, Ashton was a jerk who didn't play fair.
After he told me the game had started with him, the bell had rang and he had rushed to class before I could stop him. The only time I've ever seen one of the Elite concerned about getting to class on time. I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him after that since he had skipped yesterday.
Coward.
Two, Kaden had decided to stop being subtle with me.
Instead of trying to discreetly get me out of the house, he had simply dumped me at Devon and Shawn's place. It wasn't like he was even gonna be in the house, he claimed he just didn't want me there alone.
Thank god, Raine was coming back tomorrow; hopefully it would put a stop to Kaden thinking I needed a babysitter 24/7. She had been planning on coming back last Monday, but another problem had come up with the movie she was filming.
Shawn was down at the police station, writing up a report about a kidnapping case he had solved, so it was just me and Devon today.
"So," Devon said. "What do you want to do today?"
I shrugged and glanced at him. "You don't have any plans?"
He sat down on the couch beside me and shook his head. "Not anymore."
"You can still go to whatever it is," I told him. "I wouldn't tell Kaden." And I really don't need a babysitter, I added in my head.
"No thanks," he said, grimacing. "I like my head where it is."
"What were you gonna go to anyway?" I asked.
"I have a life outside of work, you know," he replied, giving me an offended look.
I shrugged.
A couple moments of silence passed before he spoke again. "You're quiet today," he remarked.
"Just thinking." About Ashton and what he could've possibly meant when he said the game started with him. Had he started the game? Or had he been the reason someone else had? And why? What happened with him to start their twisted, deadly game?
I glanced at Devon, who looked like he was replying to a text or email. He knew about the case, but how much? Did he know about the details? Would he? I wasn't sure if he was actually involved in the case, or if he had simply held information for Kaden.
"Hey Devon?"
"Eleven minutes, thirty-six seconds," he said without looking up.
"What?"
"How long you lasted before asking about the case."
"You didn't even know what I was gonna say!" I protested, even though he was right- I had been prepared to ask about the case.
He pocketed his phone and glanced up. "I know you and I know that tone of voice."
"I'm just curious," I said, even though I knew it wouldn't help.
"Curiosity killed the cat," he replied in a deadpan tone.
I bit back a groan. I hate that saying. "The cat was stupid."
"Don't concern yourself in things that don't involve you, Lennie," he scolded.
"It does involve me!" I exclaimed. I might end up six feet under the ground in a couple months. "And I'm not that bad. You, and Kaden, and Ashton make it sound like I go around terrorizing everyone."
He narrowed his eyes. "Ashton? Like Ashton Sinclair?"
"Don't concern yourself in things that don't involve you, Devon," I said, throwing Devon's words back at him. Okay, so maybe I was acting like a petulant five year old, but I was so fucking tired of people putting up a brick wall when I tried to ask about the colossal mess I was walking in.
His eyes narrowed further. "Don't involve yourself with him, Lena."
I snorted. "Sort of hard not to when I have to make him fall in love with me to continue breathing."
"Elena-" Oh no, Devon using 'Elena' instead of a nickname meant he was about to go into a lecture.
"I don't want a lecture! I've been walking into rock walls for the past month because everyone's been keeping me in the dark and I'm sick of it!" My voice got louder and louder until I was almost screaming at the end, even though Devon was sitting beside me.
Then to my horror, I felt the sting of tears at the back of my eyes. No, no, no, no, no, not what I want, no. I buried my face in my hands before any of them could spill over.
Devon cleared his throat, and scooted closer to me, awkwardly patting me on the back. It was probably just as horrible for him as it was for me. I hated crying in front of people, so there had been maybe once or twice that he had needed to deal with it.
"It's not anything against you, Lennie," he said quietly. "We're trying to keep you safe."
"How is letting me stumble around in the dark," I croaked, "keeping me safe?"
"Being in the dark might protect you more than turning on the light," he replied.
I cleared my throat this time before speaking, but still kept my face down. The tears were slowly trickling away. Thankfully only a couple had spilled over. "I don't need protecting."
He sighed. "Think about it this way, if we mess up, the killer might come after everyone who knows about them. Kaden doesn't want you included in that group, Lena. I don't either."
I glanced up. "Would they really do that?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "But it is possible."
I scooted back, turning to sit sideways on the couch so I could look at him. "Are you helping with the case?"
He paused, then gave a nod.
"Why?" Kaden had never involved Devon before, at least as far as I knew. Which, I guess wasn't much, but still.
He raised an eyebrow. "I'm a psychologist, Lena, what do you think?"
Wait, did he mean...?
"The killer's crazy?" I asked.
He shot me a disapproving look at my choice in words. "It's possible that they have a mental illness, yes."
Okay, so someone in the Elite might have homicidal tendencies because of a mental illness. This just keeps getting better and better.
"What kind?"
He shook his head. "I don't know."
I've heard that one before.
"You don't know... Or you won't tell me?"
He shook his head again. "I don't know. Really."
"But I thought..." I trailed off. I thought it was easy to be able to identify what kind of disorder or illness a person might have.
"It's not that easy," he told me, as if he had read my mind. "Some people can hide it very well and they're part of that group."
Wait.
They?
"They, as in more than one?" I had guessed that there might be more than one person hurting people, but that didn't mean I wanted it to be true.
"They, as in I won't tell you their gender," he replied.
It didn't mean there was more than one person, but at the same time, it didn't mean there wasn't a nice little pair or trio or whatever murdering people.
"How bad is it?" I asked slowly.
"The case?" He sighed and shook his head. "It's a mess. There's barely any solid evidence, a lot of complications, and some missing blanks that Kaden believes Ashton can fill but doesn't want to."
"So..." I paused. "I shouldn't trust Ashton?"
"You can trust him more than the rest of them," Devon said. "But no."
"I'm gonna go get a glass of water," I told him, standing up. My head spun a little with what I had learned today. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that someone in the Elite was crazy.
His mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Told you it was messy."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, walking into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and turned the tap all the way cold. As I waited for it to fill up, something peeking out of Devon's work bag caught my eye. He had left it on the counter, open, and a stiff white card was spilling out.
I turned off the tap and walked over, reading the card upside down.
In loving memory,
Olivia Tunclet
04.17.1996 â 12.5.2013
You and your family are respectfully invited to attend her funeral on December 11th, at 3:00pm.
Highland Funeral Home.
304 Davis Street, Hampton Hills
December 11th? That was today. Had Devon been planning on going before Kaden had dumped me on him to babysit- I mean, protect? I glanced at the clock. It was one, we could make it.
"Hey Devon?" I called as I set the glass down and slid the card out from between two of his files.
"Yeah?" he asked, sounding distracted. Probably on his phone again.
"What's this?" I walked back to the living room, holding the card up in my right hand.
"Did you go through my bag again?" he asked. "I thought you learned your lesson."
I groaned. "That was one time."
He shrugged.
"I was thirteen."
Another shrug.
"I was hungry."
He shrugged yet again.
"I didn't expect to find condoms!"
He sighed and glanced at me. "As you can see, it's a funeral invitation."
"Why aren't you going?" I asked.
He gave me a mild 'are-you-stupid' look. "Because I'm spending the day with you." Okay, I guess Devon decided to stop being subtle as well, then.
"So?"
"So," he said. "I'm supposed to watch you."
"We don't have to stay here," I pointed out.
It took him less than a minute to catch on to what I was trying to say. "Absolutely not."
"Why? You got invited, it'd be rude if you didn't go," I told him, widening my eyes for an innocent look, even though I knew he wouldn't fall for it.
"And it'd be rude for someone uninvited to show up." He narrowed his eyes. "Why does it matter to you?"
"It says family," I pointed out.
"You're not family," he replied.
"Ouch."
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
"I know Jenna, and I've heard a lot about Olivia," I said. I also wanted to know more about her. I don't think many people knew about her involvement with the Elite, but I wanted to know more about Olivia herself. Why she could've possibly chosen, what she had been like, why Ashton might not fallen for her.
"You're not dressed for a funeral," Devon told me, eyeing my jeans and sweater.
"Then we can stop by my house and I'll change."
He stared at me. "I know you don't just want to go to pay your respects to Olivia."
I didn't deny it. It wasn't like I didn't respect Olivia or anything, I hadn't known her. I was curious about her now, and I wanted to see if Jenna was back, and if she was alright. "Well, I don't want to keep you from going either."
He stayed silent, and I could tell he was considering it.
"I know you want to go and see how they're doing," I said.
He looked up. "I never said that." But he didn't deny it.
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but I know you. You care about your patients outside of the office, that's what makes you a good therapist." See, I'm observant. Even though that one really isn't hard to guess if you know what Devon's like. But whatever.
"Flattery isn't gonna get you anywhere," he said.
"I'm not trying to flatter you," I replied, glancing up at the ceiling in exasperation. No one trusts me, I swear.
He sighed.
I looked at him.
"Come on," he said. "We're gonna be late."
â¡ the trouble with love â¡
"I regret letting you come already," Devon grumbled as he parked the car. "You didn't even know Olivia."
I glanced up. "I haven't done anything!"
"Yet," he muttered.
"I'm not five, Devon," I said. "I understand how serious this is."
He was still mumbling under his breath when we got out of the car and walked across the parking lot. Olivia's funeral was being held at the funeral home next to the cemetery at the edge of Hampton Hills and Sydcot. The parking lot wasn't jam packed, but there were still a fair amount of cars.
The first people I saw when we walked in, I didn't recognize. They were a little inside the door, offering their condolences to Mrs. Tunclet. Devon pulled me to a stop behind them.
"No questions, okay, Lena?" he told me.
I sighed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "As much as you, and everyone else like to think, I'm not heartless or stupid."
"Devon, thank you so much for coming," Mrs. Tunclet said once the couple in front of us walked away. Her eyes were a little red and watery, but she gave us a small sad smile and pulled Devon into a brief, light hug.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he replied once he pulled away. "How are you and Jenna doing?"
She gave him a brittle smile. "We're managing, thank you."
Did that mean Jenna was back, even though she said she wouldn't be returning?
Mrs. Tunclet turned to me and did a slight double take. "Elena?"
I forced a small smile. "Hi. I wanted to pay my respects to Olivia and see if Jenna's alright." I paused, glancing at Devon, then back at her. "I hope that's alright."
She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I was going to have Jenna send you an invitation, but she didn't get back until late last night..."
So Jenna is back.
"I understand." I nodded and gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know Olivia well, but Jenna spoke very highly of her."
"Thank you," Mrs. Tunclet said, her voice cracking a little. She reached up and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "Excuse me."
I watched as she weaved through the crowd and disappeared into a small door, then turned back to Devon. "Did I say something wrong?"
He shook his head. "It's just sensitive, you know that, Lena."
Yeah, I had gone through it twice, even though I didn't remember the first time very well. But it had still been a while since I had attended a funeral.
Devon glanced at the door Mrs. Tunclet had disappeared through, then looked at me. "And do I even want to know how she knows you?" he asked, a slight accusing note in his tone.
I shrugged. "I wanted to talk to Jenna." I stood on my tiptoes and scanned the room until I found a familiar head of blonde hair. "Speaking of which, I'll be right back."
"Len-"
I made my way over to her before Devon could stop me. "Hey," I said once the person she had been talking to walked away.
She glanced up. "Elena?"
"Hi, Jenna." I gave her a weak smile.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Devon's a family friend, and I was with him for the day so I came along," I explained. "Uh, I thought you weren't coming back?"
She sighed and glanced around. I wasn't sure if it was to stall or make sure no one was within hearing distance. "I didn't want to, but Mom asked and..." she trailed off.
She leaned back against the wall beside her. "This is the third time I've buried her."
"I'm sorry," I told her.
She shook her head. "At least they have a lead this time. Mr. Sullivan's brother, which is a bit weird, but I just want it to be over."
Right, of course they were keeping the Tunclets updated on Daniel and the murder investigation.
"What about New York?" I asked, since she looked like she wanted to talk about anything but who killed her sister. "Did you get in?"
"Yeah," she replied, nodding. "I'm heading back after all of this is done."
"So you're not coming back at all?"
She shook her head. "I'll finish online, and get an early start at Julliard." She looked around, and lowered her voice. "I just don't want to be around here. It's bad, but..."
"No, I get it," I interrupted. "Really."
"I just want to let it go," she said quietly. "But it keeps coming back."
"I'm sorry." I could imagine how horrible it was, finally letting someone go only for them to come back again and again.
She didn't reply.
I took it as my cue to leave. "Well, good luck, Jenna. I hope everything ends up okay."
"Wait." She grabbed my arm before I could walk away. "Are you still... With the Elite?"
I nodded. "I haven't exactly found a way to escape yet." Well, technically I had, because I was sure if I asked, Kaden would be all too happy to send me to New York or something to finish the year. But I wasn't just going to run, I couldn't. Not if the Elite was killing people, and Kaden was involving himself and Ashton was keeping everyone in the dark about it.
So maybe I had started to care about some of them.
Just a tiny bit.
If I did leave though... Would they replace me, or would they chase me down?
"You don't-" Jenna started.
"No, I don't trust them," I cut in. I had heard it a million times. From everybody, it seemed.
"Good," she said.
"But they got Daniel. You still think they did something?" I knew about they had, or one of them had, for sure, of course, but Jenna hadn't been told the consequences of the game, so her suspicious had to stem from something else. It was a coincidence that Olivia had disappeared after sleeping with Ashton and hanging out with the Elite, but the police had apprehended Daniel, which should've been enough to drive it out of her mind.
Especially since he had been caught with a syringe of Methanonel.
Jenna nodded.
"Why?" There had to be another reason.
She was silent for a long moment. "Olivia was with one of them the night she disappeared," she said finally.
I glanced at her. "Who?"
"Who do you think?" She gave a bitter laugh. "Ashton, of course."
-- â¡ --
Teaser: "What the hell are you doing here?"
QotC: What mental illness do you think the killer might have?
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