(unedited)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
Stand a little taller,
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter,
Footsteps even lighter,
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone.
"What Doesn't Kill You" -Kelly Clarkson
I was starting to make a habit of skipping school, which was kind of awful.
It was Friday, three days after Jacen and I's conversation, though I had yet to ask Kaden or Raine about it. Over the past couple days I had more or less retreated into me old, pre-Elite ways. I went to the library for lunch and avoided the Elite in my classes. It wasn't hard, since Skylar was out of school for the week -despite having been released from the hospital- and Vanessa, who I had English with, was blessedly drama free.
Jenna hadn't been at school since Tuesday, though I didn't blame her since Olivia was in the hospital.
I decided to try and figure out what was going on with Jenna first, using it as a distraction. As curious as I may have been, I really didn't like nosing around my past. I couldn't forget, but I could at least pretend.
I wasn't sure what to think of what Jacen had said, I had always believed my biological parents had been normal. But if what Jacen had said was true... Why had Raine and Kaden taken me in?
I shook the thoughts from my head as I pulled into the driveway of a small, but elaborate mansion.
Jenna's house.
Yes, I may have resorted to slightly stalker-ish actions to find her address, though it hadn't been very difficult. I got out and walked to the door, then pressed the button for the doorbell.
The Tunclet's seemed pretty down to earth. No guards and gates, or shiny cars and intercom systems. They had to have enough to be able to afford all that, though. Both Jenna and Olivia went -or had gone- to Blaire Academy, and the brand of sweets they owned was pretty popular. It was their choice to opt out on the fancy stuff.
A woman opened the door. Judging from her resemblance to Jenna and Olivia, I guessed that she was their mother. Her face was line with exhaustion, her eyes red and a little swollen.
"Uh, hi, I'm here to see Jenna?"
The woman raised an eyebrow. "You are...?"
"Elena, I'm a friend of Jenna's," I replied, forcing a calm smile.
"She didn't tell you?"
I hesitated. "Tell me what?"
"Jenna left yesterday for an audition," she said, watching me with a puzzled look. "If it goes well, she's not coming back."
What? "She told me she had auditions soon, but I didn't think she'd go now..." I trailed off. I didn't need to finish, though; my assumption wasn't hard to guess. She wouldn't go now because her sister was in the hospital. Mrs. Tunclet's mouth tightened. Stupid, Lena, stupid. I had prepared a whole script, but finding out that Jenna had left, and might not be coming back threw everything off.
"I think she wanted to get away from everything," Mrs. Tunclet said softly.
Well, there's a dead end. "Sorry for wasting your time. Thank you." I moved to walk away, but her call stopped me before I could get very far.
"How do you know Jenna?"
I turned back. "We're in a lot of classes together."
"What do you know about her?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she narrowed her eyes at me.
Shit. I didn't know much about Jenna, and I had a feeling her mother wouldn't count warnings in History textbooks as a friendship. I was so about to get caught. "I know she went to check her legs last week and that she sees Devon Sanders."
Please don't ask me what her favourite colour is because I won't be able to answer.
Mrs. Tunclet frowned. "You're closer than I thought."
"I'm sorry?"
"No one but family and close friends know about Jenna's therapy sessions."
I wouldn't know either if I wasn't friends with her therapist. I didn't say that out loud, of course, just gave her an awkward smile.
"Thank you," she said.
"For what?"
"I didn't think Jenna would recover." What?
Like always, curiosity got the best of me. "What do you mean?"
She glanced at me. "You better come in."
I froze, then slowly followed her in. I felt like I was deceiving her, since Jenna and I weren't friends by anyone's definition. I am going straight to hell for this; the poor woman's probably grieving.
"I'm surprised she didn't tell you she was leaving," Mrs. Tunclet said.
"I haven't really gotten the chance to speak to her this week." I hovered awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do. You're in a stranger's house, Lena. What happened to all those safety talks in sixth grade? Except it was Jenna's house, and it was Jenna's mom. Jenna, who a lot of people thought was insane. She has to be seeing Devon for a reason, right?
"Jenna's never mentioned you before," she remarked, giving me a curious look.
"We haven't been friends for very long," I admitted. More like we haven't been friends, ever. I think she hated me now. Talk about lopsided friendship.
"But you're close?"
No. "I guess."
"Good," she said quietly. "I'm glad."
"Is Jenna okay?" I asked, hesitantly probing for more information.
Mrs. Tunclet grimaced. "I'm not sure. She hasn't been very open with how she feels."
"Yeah, I guess I've noticed." I lied. Jenna and I didn't really have heart-to-hearts; we were nowhere close to that part. But Jenna didn't really seem like the person to openly discuss her feelings.
"Olivia and her were so close before everything happened," she told me. "Olivia was always more outgoing, but she took Jenna with her." She glanced at me, as if for confirmation.
I bit the inside of my lip. "Jenna and I didn't really talk until this year," I admitted.
"I'm glad either way," she said. "Jenna took Olivia's disappearance hard. She didn't go out, didn't bring any friends home.
Guilt slammed into me in waves. This woman -Jenna's mom- thought I was her daughter's friend, that I was helping her, when I was probably making it worse. Jenna had kept to the shadows even more than I had. I didn't remember seeing her talk to anyone. True, I hadn't paid her much attention, but still.
Mrs. Tunclet sighed. "She didn't trust anyone."
"Because Olivia disappeared?" I'm already on my way to hell.
She shook her head. "Olivia ran away. But Jenna... She believes someone did something to her."
Did something to her? I stiffened, then forced myself to relax. "Like forced her to run away?"
"Jenna thought Olivia's friends had done something," she said. "So she decided not to make any more friends or keep the couple she had before."
Which friends of Olivia did Jenna suspect? If Olivia's Facebook page was anything to go by, Olivia had been friends with Elite. Which meant Jenna might suspect the Elite had done something to her sister... But why? The Elite had their secrets, that was something I knew very well, but why did Jenna suspect the Elite so much?
They knew Jenna, so it was possible that they were involved, but again, why? Why would they want Olivia to disappear?
Had she known something?
Or is Jenna just crazy paranoid?
"Which of Olivia's friends did Jenna suspect?" I asked. Maybe this has nothing to do with the Elite.
Mrs. Tunclet shook her head. "She never told me."
â¡ the trouble with love â¡
The talk with Jenna's mom haunted me for the rest of the afternoon. I had a feeling the Elite were involved, with how Jenna acted towards them, and the way they responded, but I wasn't sure. It was too much of a coincidence that Olivia had been hanging out with the Elite right before she disappeared. I didn't know if they had done something, or if they had been what had pushed her to run away.
I felt like screaming.
Everything just kept building up. It felt like they were related somehow, everything happening at once was too coincidental, but it was like trying to put together pieces from different puzzles. There were gaps, and overlaps, and the picture didn't make sense.
I didn't know much about anything.
There was Ashton, Daniel and Kaden's case. Someone in the Elite had killed someone.
There was Olivia, who had disappeared, and reappeared in a coma. The Elite were connected to her somehow. Jenna was connected to Olivia.
There was Skylar. Someone had tried to hurt her. It was possible that it had been someone in the Elite, since not many other people had the opportunity. It was likely this person was also the person Kaden and Ashton were trying to take down, since two people with homicidal tendencies in the Elite wasn't likely.
There was the note, which was probably connected to Skylar.
There was the game, but I wasn't sure if that played a part in any of this. Compared to everything else, it just seemed like something petty and superficial. Except for the consequence, that seemed to worry everyone.
There was what had happened at Vanessa's house. Someone had tried to drown me. Not counting the note, it was the only time I had been targeted. It was the most misfit piece, random and unlike all the others. The only thing that really connected it was that it had happened with only the Elite around.
And lastly, there was what Jacen had told me about my parents. That wasn't related, but it was still bothering me. No, scratch that, it didn't bother me. It drove me insane. I almost wished there was a way to wipe the knowledge from my mind. What annoyed me most, though, was that it was probably the only thing I could actually get information on, but I didn't want to learn about it.
I brought it up after dinner anyway. My mind was crammed with enough mysteries that I could do without an extra that I could potentially solve.
It was just me and Raine again. Kaden was in his office, or in the shower, or somewhere in the house. He had disappeared with the promise to be back in half an hour.
"Raine?" I waited for her to look up. "Are- Can you tell me anything about my biological parents?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Didn't we have this conversation before?"
"Yeah. I'm just... Curious." About why you adopted me when my biological dad tried to rape you.
She straightened. "I don't know much about them..." she trailed off, and looked away.
She's lying to me, I realized. I rarely caught Raine lying, since I don't think she did often. Raine was a good liar, better than Kaden and Devon, as long as she knew what she was going to say. That was what she had told me. It wasn't hard to catcher if she was lying on the spot, which meant she must've been prepared for this. Or she must've thought about it before. Maybe even talked to Kaden about it.
"Why the sudden interest?" she asked. I think she's stalling.
"I'm just... I realized how much I don't know about myself." Wow, Lena, good one. That was probably the lamest answer I could give. I watched Raine as I waited for an answer, hoping she wouldn't question my sudden curiosity any further.
"Your parents were Jared and Hayley Jordan," she said after a long pause.
"And Blake was my dad's cousin?" I asked.
She nodded. "Hayley was in every sense but blood," Raine explained. "Your parents weren't together."
"So I was the product of a fling?" Awesome. Another layer to add onto my messed up family tree. Raine hesitated, which was enough of an answer in itself.
"Is my birth mother still alive?" I asked.
Another hesitation, then a nod.
"Who is she?" My birth mother had given me to my father to raise. Had there been a legitimate reason, or had it simple been because she didn't want me? I wasn't really sure why I wanted to know who she was, it wasn't like I'd ever meet her, but curiosity made me ask anyway.
A lengthy pause from Raine. "Freya Scott," she said finally.
"Freya Scott?" I repeated. "Like the artist?"
I hadn't expected to recognize the name. Freya Scott was a well-known artist, married to Xavier Scott, a famous director. I knew because Xavier was one of Raine's good friends and several of Freya's collages hung around the house.
What the hell?
Footsteps on the stairs made me look up. "What's going on?" Kaden asked as he descended the stairs.
Raine grimaced and glanced at me, then looked back at him. "I was just telling Elena a bit about her parents." There was a cautious hesitation in her casual tone, as if Kaden wouldn't want to hear it, and she knew that it. Kaden stiffened a little, proving my guesses right. It hadn't been much, if I hadn't been watching him for a reaction, I wouldn't have noticed.
So there is something about my past that isn't really okay.
"Did you anything about my biological dad?"
A slight tensing from both of them this time. "Not very well. Mostly though friends," Kaden replied.
Another lie. I guess it was touchy enough of a subject that he was slipping, just a bit. He sat down beside Raine on the couch, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. For a second, I wondered if Jacen had simply fed me a lie, but dismissed the idea. Even if it wasn't rape, there was something bad that had happened.
I decided to cut the games and dive straight in. "So he didn't try to rape Raine?"
That got a reaction out of them. A loud gasp from Raine and a low curse from Kaden that escaped before he could stop it. "How did you find out?" he demanded.
Not even a denial. "So it's true?" I asked.
They exchanged a glance, and for a second it almost looked like they were going to play it down, or make something up. Then Raine shook her head and glanced at me. "Your father... We didn't have the best past with him."
My dad tried to rape Raine. My dad actually tried to rape Raine and I'm standing in their living room, in their house where I've been living for five years. What the fuck? "Why?" It was the only word I could choke out.
"It's a complicated story, Lena. Not something worth revisiting," she said, looking away. I guess the wall behind me was suddenly fascinating.
"He tried to hurt you..." A nod of confirmation. "I'm his daughter..." Another nod. "Why would you take me in?"
"He apologized, and he loved you and Hayley. He redeemed himself in the end," Raine said. A quiet, half-smothered bitter chuckle from Kaden told me he didn't think that was the case. Raine took one of his clenched fists and smoothed it out, trying to calm him down I guess.
"You couldn't have liked him. So why would you... If I'm just like a standing reminder of everything?" How did Raine and Kaden not hate me? If someone had tried to rape me... I wouldn't be able to stand and look at their kid, let alone adopt them. Did I look like my dad? Remind them of what had happened every day?
"You're not your father, Lena," Kaden said quietly. "I wouldn't hold you to his mistakes."
I opened my mouth to reply, then realized I didn't have anything I could say. I wasn't even sure what to think. I didn't know what happened, but my father had tried to rape Raine. That couldn't make them completely okay with me. s\It couldn't. They had never treated me badly, not at all, but how could they stand it?
"How did you find out?" Raine asked, taking my focus off the swirling, looping thoughts in my head.
I bit the inside of my lip. Should I tell them? They told me what happened with my parents, and took me in even though with what had happened... "Jacen told me," I said slowly, glancing at Kaden. I wasn't sure if telling him that was a good idea.
His eyes narrowed. "Jacen Winston?" I hesitated, then nodded. Kaden frowned. "I thought I told you to avoid him. And his friends."
I shrugged, thankful for the change of subject. "It's not that easy."
"Lena-" he started.
"I'm curious, okay?" I interrupted. "And I could help with the case. I'm already on the inside, adn I'm not questionable like Ashton." I felt like I had to make it up to him and Raine, somehow. If I could get him more information, then the case wouldn't be so risky, and he would win, for sure.
Kaden's response was immediate. "No. Absolutely not."
I didn't respond.
"I'm serious, Elena," he said. "I don't want you wrapped up in the Elite's secrets."
"I might already be," I replied quietly, thinking of the note. Someone thinks I'll learn a lot of secrets. Secrets they want me to keep quiet about it.
Kaden's jaw clenched. "Then we pull you out."
"What?"
"Kallie's been wanting a visit anyway," he continued. Kallie? Kallie was in New York. They wanted to send me across the country because I was talking to the Elite?
"You can't just send me to New York!" I yelled.
"You wanted answers, Elena," Raine reminded me.
"What's in New York that's supposed to help me?"
"Freya," she said. "I think it's time you meet her."
-- â¡ --
Thank you Anzella for the banner on the right ---->
Teaser: The world didn't see the dark secrets they kept. They only saw an exclusive, privileged group of teenagers that could away anything they wanted. Anything.