Six months later,
at the palace
Still shaky after her long shower, the queen shoulders blades rested on the white marble tiled of the bathroom. She had her head resting on it, her legs felt like jelly barely supporting her weight anymore.
Going down she sat there not minding the coldness of the ground. Closing her eyes she sighed shaking her head from side to side, swallowing hard she could only looked up feeling dejected after doing it, her long hairs clinging on her back making her shuddered by how cold they already were.
The smoke of the warm water that filled the tub minutes prior had all vanished leaving foggy glasses around her, she shivered at how uncomfortable it had became. Slightly disgusted of herself she could feel herself getting in the dark side of all of this.
Moment like these she missed lorelei the most. She felt sentenced to loneliness.
"Will this ever end my God?"
The hoarseness of her voice was like the warning of the tears she could feel coming.
"I hate this..."
Breathing slowly her arms now hugging her legs, she counted to ten, before feeling better.
"You are stronger than this. Get out of your head Kate! Do something productive."
Nodding to her own words, she closed her eyes tightly seeking comfort in the face that appeared in her mind.
Her lover was younger but the wiser of them both. Moment like these she was still wondering why she still love her. There were people there that would kill to have her. But no, she was still hoping even certain there was a way for them.
Fighting with tears katiandra lifted her head up to ease tension in her nerves massaging the area of her nose. Not one to indulge in self pity she pushed all those thoughts away.
Doing her best to stand on her feet she turned towards the wall facing her, hitting a button on it, she immediately received a jet of warm water pouring on her body.
An odor she had long forgotten started dissipating. She could not remember the last time she had used that kind of release, if she could call it that.
She did not even reach any high. That was why she had always feel wrong doing it even when she was younger, it was a lie, a fake way to be pleasure, but today have been a day where everything reminded her of her lover in a deepest level. She though she could try...
"Pffff!" Puffing she shook her head dismayed. With lorelei it was always fireworks, lights. She would always reach her peak in way unimaginable. This whenever was childish touchs.
Thinking of what lorelei had told her about her own experience in the matter she chuckled looking around her. At least there were no hellish creatures appearing from nowhere around her. It was horrible. She at least was sure the young woman would never do it. Thinking about it her chuckled died in her throat. It was like cheating on her.
She knew it had been frightening for her to see that an action that was a banality for many humans, could released all kind of disgusting creatures from realms she knew nothing about, making them come from nowhere around her. That made katiandra feel more guilty for doing it in the first place.
Lorelei loved her on all the way. The way she had responded to her before she had to go away was still in her mind. All of it because of Arthur threads. To be fair it was the major reason she had left lorelei go. It was just a matter of time before he would have try his way with her. Only the thought of it made the queen want to throw up all her gut out, or commit the unthinkable.
She knew it would have been selfish to convince her to stay, to fight for her when she was the one who was married to a sociopath she wanted nothing to do with. Laying her head on the wall from where she stood, she let the warm water massaged her back.
Was she crying? Sniffing she closed her eyes sure of it, even the wetness of her face from the water, could not stop what was rolling out of her eyes. It hurt so bad. So so bad, she knew nowhere to go have it taken away.
Breathing out she pulled away from the wall straightening her head, she knew how to swallow her hurt. Because she was not about to deny what had come out of that union, the Oracle was right, things could not be reversed. She may be married to Arthur but for decades it had been a business relationship.
Massaging her neck her eyes wandered around her, getting out of the shower she walked around slowly going through her after bath routine, moisturizing her body with lotion she did not even wanted to think about the price. Smiling she inhaled the scent of it itching to do it on her partner skin. She knew she had the same, she was the one that commanded it for her.
In fact she was present around her every day of every season. Through Norman and Sloan. She could choose her clothes, her perfumes, what she would be eating through Martha now. That she had always do. Whenever she needed them to do something special she would send the message first thing in the morning, at four. All the way praying to be there one day in person.
While massaging her scalp, her eyes landed on her makeup table, it was arranged with a different style by colours and weight like lorelei was used to do it at the museum. That she knew was mama Rosa doing.
The woman had take it on herself to accompany her daughter Rosemary when she was up doing her bedroom. It pleased the Queen, who was reminded of her lover whenever she saw it.
Six months ago the old woman came to visit her at the museum, mostly wondering why she had refused anyone she had send to enter her bedroom. She was the one sending Rosemary to do it or any other girls she trusted. But the Queen bedroom was a place reminding her too much of her soulmate for her to let strangers hands disturbing it.
The old woman was out of it when she had told her she was doing it herself and decided to take it on herself promising to not change her way. So she entered the room and now that she was at the palace already for one week straight, all was the same. It was comforting for her soul.
She was not really thrilled to be sharing the same roof as her husband but she had vowed to treat her children with as much fairness as she could since kayley experience. Lincoln needed her presence so she granted it to him.
It was the anniversary of his marriage that had to undergo through some family rituals, meeting the in laws. Languages of blessings since he was the future king and so on. What she was adamant with was for Arthur to not bring his dark power near her son.
He wanted to initiate him, which had resulted in a hitted argument between them where she had to threaten her son of having him disowned from her side, if he ever accepted that from his father. He may have been a daddy son, but she knew he loved her deeply.
In fact Lincoln had never seen her so angrier about something. She could be hard, harsh even but never angry. So he had complied to do as she pleased. His father was not happy but he did not wanted to be the bad one in front of his son so he let it go.
The Oracle was the one who had finally blessed the future royal couple, introducing them in the realm of light. The ritual was so intense, everyone could feel that the air was saturated with a living energy none of them could see.
The woman had at the end out of the blue imposed her hand on the queen head chanting things none of them could understand. Arthur was not happy with it but knew better than to go again the ritual. It was weird, on a part she could not quite reach.
She could blame her present state on that. She had been more sensitive since then. But to be realistic, the answer was "No" her mind protested. "It started long before." It asserted which was true.
In the contrary it was like the flow of sensitivity that had overwhelmed her from the moment she had set foot on the ground of the palace, had diminished. It was like she was under some kind of spell.
From the moment she came here, she felt the need to have sex, it was so overwhelming she had to take cold baths at least twice two days ago. Her body was always funny, her mind always clouded by the idea.
It had almost stopped with what the old woman did. The difference being her desire had focussed on only one person. All she could think about was lorelei this, lorelei that and so on. She deeply trust the Oracle with her life. And knew she had done something that stopped how she felt beforehand.
That is why she wondered what Arthur had done to her, or much better what spell he had put on her. From the beginning of her arrival he has been lurking making subliminal comments or actions that was, now she understood better, intended to put her in his bed.
He kept shaking that hand of his that arbored that red ring of his in front of her eyes everytime he could and always wear a strange chain on his neck letting it tangled on his chest whenever around her.
It had became hard for her to stand him in many ways, so much she had to restricted the encounters with him inside of the strict minimum. Not even dinner times. Only when guests was there.
Standing still for a moment thinking harder about it then she wondered about what the Oracle said after praying or whatever she was doing on her. She had said
"Your safety is Love. YOUR love." The piercing intensity of her eyes as she had mumbled it just for her to hear was still stuck in the Queen mind. Or the way she had played for a second with the chain katiandra had around her neck.
That was Lorelei gift when she had departed. She was the one wearing it before as a hole, she had separated it for them to have each others a part of it.
That gaze of the Oracle was like engraved in her mind forcing her to focus on something she could not quite reach, pointing her to a direction she did not wanted to go through.
That is how she found herself rereading her lover book. Yes, she had wrote a book. A heart shattering book. It narrated a love that could be impossible between two persons. Above it all it was her coming out to the world.
It was a same gender book. The characters were two woman, everything in the world separate but who found themselves together at the end.
She had wrote it a while ago, it was only with the public exposure of 'NYAL my thoughts' that she had started the publishing her books two of them, "Being a nerd in a close mind world" and " Soulmate meterage: the test of the time"
The editor of the book was the best, the Queen like always made sure of it even if she did not know what it was all about. To say her breath was taken away would have been a simple thing to do. She loved the two books. The first was like talking about her own life. Was firstly put on Porys school before her parents were told to put her in school made for her in a foreign country.
Her favourite though was, the love story. She remembered the moment she had read the resume of the book her head had felt paralyzed, even in the presence of Raphaelli she had sat with his help on the ground of her office in the museum flabbergasted.
She could not move, it was like everything had stopped in her mind.
It was not exposing her in anyway. No one could know it was her she was speaking about. But it was all about her. About them. In another space and time, even the surrounding was totally different from what they were used too in Porys. The woman there was completely opposite of what the Queen work was.
Porys was all over the place with that new, for their prodigy to be one of "them", it was unimaginable.
Unthinkable! Some thought but all the same understood there seemed to be a lie somewhere because Lorelei life did not fit what was said by the government.
Everyone was troubled. They knew it was impossible to be someone in this world when being an LGBTQ member.
That is what was taught to them. So it felt like a bomb on the kingdom. How could they curse someone they had asserted was blessed by God himself?
Though the publicity that came with it forced the king out of his infuriated silence. Not because he wanted but two of his businesses friends, who happened to be good one too, had saluted her actions too before came out themselves.
The two said how it was important to get on the top and turn around to tell the others that it was possible for someone that was tagged useless and unworthy because of their sexual orientation could succeed in life.
Arthur even said how " The exceptional abilities professor Kamali possesses was all in the like of the world" all including his friends children, then added.
" Porys will always grant her its support and to all those who carry its colours around the world so proudly. "
All that and lorelei kind words in response to him, had his popularity go up. She said she knew he was a kind heart person. Seriously! She was clearly manipulating his oversized ego, and he was too busy feeding on it to remark.
The craps he spewed then was even weirder coming out of his mouth, the Queen had to shake her head, she did not even help him with what to say.
He said thing as the changes in the world forced Understanding. Even asking for forgiveness to all the side of the society that had ever felt oppressed by the kingdom insensitivity.
Seeing Lorelei courage was too remarkable, everyone was saying. The fact that they had discovered that she was the founder of Nyall my thoughts did help it a lot, she really was a tool for the world.
Katiandra always knew Lorelei was destined to greatness in this world, way bigger than be her dirty secret. She had appeared on TV today after the ritual. All of them wanted to see it but the Queen retreated in her bedroom to do it.
The interview was about how fast her book became bestsellers in the world, even the biggest movies production of the moment already bought it to make movies of it. Dear, the contract they had signed was really outstanding.
All of it was too much. While she felt honoured to be the woman lead character in the book, she felt bad because she knew her lover. It was a way for her to confess a love that was stuck in her. That was going nowhere.
The dedication of the book was saying it all. That phrase was a part of Katiandra being now, like blood and air. Each time she read it she could not stop herself from shivering.
"To my soulmate, in a time and space where all is right. Forever yours."
She was letting her know it was possible to be together even if she had to create that reality. It was a stunning book. That force anyone reading it to shed some tear no matter the hardness of the heart. It was so realistic it was a heartbreaking experience to read it.
Tears started running on her face again. At the reminder of people review she could only do it.
One had said
"At first love like that look like a curse. But the end of it make you believe in love.
The only thing that come in my mind when thinking of this kind of love is the process of giving birth. However painful. It is the most beautiful experience, a part of you."
She cried for a moment wondering how she would be able to give her soulmate that end if she could not even know where to start.
At least she has been making sure her eventual departure would not affect her work in the kingdom by choosing valuable persons to delegate her work to.
All of that had started six months ago with Amanda Alyn at the highschool. She was at least free of those charges, she knew she would ever have to worry about it ever again.
Little by little she had free herself of many responsibilities. Those people she had chose were not threat for her works at all. She could still give commands even if not here. It was how to shake it all off of her completely that was still the huge question mark on the white board in her head.
It hurt so bad, so much she felt unfocused for a bit. Breathing hard trying to regain control. She was in a state where it look like there was a big wall, worse a big mountain that was standings on her way to what she needed to obtain.
But she had no way to remove it from her way. What she needed was to learn how to fly above it. How?
Her elbows on her thighs she put her face in her hands wondering what to do. Sighing she shook her head in an attempt to get rid of every negatives emotions. She could have resisted those thoughts longer, if events have not pressured her this much.
Was it bad? She knew not. Hazard was a concept she knew was nonexistent. Things happened. How to deal with them was her responsibility.
To be fair they had not discussed about the book through their weekly face call. It felt like a taboo. They will chat about everything but heavy things. Cautious she needed them to be. So they had learn to become the best friends ever.
They joked and laughed. It was a peaceful way, though there was no restrictions on what to wear which katiandra abused. Once she had responded while she was swimming in her bikini making sure her hole body was visible.
Though her excuse was that it was only that time she had vacant on her schedule so it would not be weird if someone intercept ther video even if it was secured. Those moments made her invariably to feel stronger, invincible even. Only to meet those grey orbs she loved so much was empowering.
Power was the state she needed to feel at the moment.
Strangely, she had felt weaker all this week in the palace now she was sure Arthur made something for her to be in this state, to lead her in his bed. The thought may have triggered her indulging in this weakness that brought nothing else but a waste of time.
She was still in need of her lover but not this way. She wanted the real thing. Touches that exist out of her mind. That wastr of her time, had at least resulted in making her more determined to make it happen.
Standing up she breathed out with determination knowing she would make it happen. All she had learned untill now was that been a Queen was not a barrier against emotional breakdown. She was still submitted to human weaknesses.
Walking around back and forth she kept asking herself one question.
"How could it be possible to be together in this world?"
All was working against it, she thought. Was their reality similar from that of that book? Which way was available for them?
First, Arthur will not miraculously vanished. The fact was, she could not divorce him just because she never loved the man. She had children, her son was the future heir of the throne.
Doing something so drastic will tarnish the way people see him. It was a fact. She wanted his reign to be perfect, better than his predecessors. That was another of her vow to God.
She could give her life for it. That was another fact that was complicating any plans of getting out of here. She loved them both, Lorelei and Lincoln, how could she be happy knowing her happiness has caused her son misfortune? It was just impossible.
Stopping in front of her mirror she examined herself. To move on she started brushing her hairs in slow motion. After finishing she made a braid out of it to have them soft in the morning then moved it on her back.
Feeling overwhelmed by all those thoughts and tired from her early activities in the bathtub she was about to open her sheets when a tug at her door made her looked up stopping her action midway. She could only wonder what it was now.
A bit sceptic it was something else than Arthur, she threw a nightgown on her body covering it with a silky bathrobe tightening the cords.
Looking up on the wall directly facing the door just in case it was Arthur. She just clapped her hand, then added "On" to see its light come to life shining twice then disappeared.
A discrete camera had been installed by Raphaelli to have the man back away if he had the bad idea to try something on her or forcing any form of interactions she did not wanted.
Another tug was heard this time very urgently, followed by starches on the lower part of the door near the floor. Alarmed she immediately moved the camera came alive again as she ran to the door thinking it was one of her sons but as soon as she had it open a body fell at her feet. A gush of blood coming form Glenn mouth staining her feet.
Kneeling above her the Queen rolled the young woman beaten body on her back only to be grace with a protective gesture of the woman who jerked away instinctively to try and protect her face with her arms that was all bruised.
She had coiled in a foetus position to protect her womb too. Not knowing what to do or say for a moment the Queen just looked at her, anger blaring in her heart and body. She remembered asking Arthur to leave the young woman alone but he never understand.
Looking up at someone who exited the room at the end of the hallway she saw him charging toward the form on the ground all naked, having not seen her again, he marched like a predator eyes focused on Glenn body.
Like she could feel him coming, her body jerked up this time to grasp the Queen thighs by how strongly she pushed herself o the woman, like a lifesaver protection moving her body further in like she wanted to hide inside of her or in her arms , in a desperate act of getting help.
It was all Glenn could think about though she was so tired to run, she did it to the only person in this world she knew would not turned her back on her, the Queen, feeling weaker she fainted in the woman arms.
Taking note of how limped her body was becoming the Queen could tell she had been beaten and rape then beaten again, her face had old blood on it and bruise that was made long ago. Katiandra could vowed it because she had seen her in the afternoon with a face free of any hurt.
Her heart was tiring inside as she caressed the woman cheek like a mother would do. She felt guilty for what was happening to her. She had contributed by saying nothing. Closing her eyes eyes to not let out the murderous instinct rising inside of her, she pulled the young woman body completely inside of her bedroom to attract the man in plain view of the camera.
She coul not fight him in both their states, her, emotionally drained and him overexcited with booze and anger. The aspect of his body he was not hiding showed it all.
"Where do you think you are going? Huh?!! Uselesse excused of human being! I will destroy you! Things like you does not deserve to live. What are you even doing on this earth? Nothing. You are good for nothing. You thought I would leave you be?! That shows how stupid you are. I believe God was just toying with your creation. You know why? Because you're MY toy. I can end you when I want! You belong to ME. Poor thing. Dust is better than you. "
His voice thundered in the hallway while he kept advancing taking his time. Everything he was saying by God grace was loud enough to be registered by the camera sound captors, even better they will have images of that too. The bodyguards listening were horrified by the crudely spoken voice.
Not more than the Queen who really had to summon her will power to not do something stupid. She waited the moment he appeared seeing her as he was standing now on the bedroom doorway.
Taking her in, he stopped all his movements, not bothered to be naked like a new born, in fact he was taking pride of it. Taking in what was going on his eyebrow was now knotted until a mischievous evil smile took the place on his lips.
Katiandra could almost read the evil plan he was forming before it had the time to completely reach his brain. That glint she knew too well in his eyes.
He was about to kill two birds with one stone.
"In you nightmares dear." She thought to herself making sure to not be on the line of the camera she rest the woman body on the big carpet of her bedroom knowing that one will have to be thrown away.
After accomplishing that task, she straightened herself slowly. Standing, head held high arching her eyebrows sternly at him not leaving him any space in this fight she knew was unavoidable.