The next morning I woke up in a strange but not unfamiliar bed. All around me I was reminded of where I was. I was cocooned in covers that smelled like him. The wardrobe door on the opposite wall was lying a jar and I could see a glimpse of his expansive wardrobe. The wall was covered in thick frames that held prestigious platinum singles from his time in One Direction. Unlike the first time I woke up in this house, I was in no desperate hurry to leave. I was happy to lie, wrapped in his scent and admire my surroundings. Which got me to thinking, if I hadn't been so eager to leave the first time around, how different would our situation be? Would I be waking up in his bed instead of alone in the spare room? Or would it have all gone tits up somewhere down the line and would I be looking down the barrel of a gun, stuck being a single mother with no help because he wanted nothing to do with me?
The baby was severely squashing my bladder so I quickly got up to pee and brush my teeth before getting back into bed and letting those thoughts carry me back into a peaceful sleep.
"Nor', you awake?" The sound of his deep voice woke me from my snooze. I opened my eyes to see Harry shuffling into the bedroom, carefully carrying a tray laden with food.
"Sorry, were you asleep?" He stopped in the middle of the floor.
"Just dozing" I smiled as the smell of buttery toast wafted from his tray. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and adjusted the pillows behind me. I looked up and couldn't help but get caught up in Harry's naked torso. His chest was an expanse of hard muscle that I almost couldn't tear my eyes from. There was just so much to appreciate. Admittedly some of his tattoo's weren't the best artwork it'd ever seen but there were so many silly doodles that each time I caught a glimpse of them I found ones I'd never seen before.
"C'mon budge up a bit then" He pulled me from my day dream and I shuffled over a touch as Harry pulled the covers back and got in beside me. I attempted to straighten out the shirt of the softest pyjamas I'd ever slept in in my life.
When I used having no pyjamas here as an excuse not to stay Harry surprised me by bashfully opening a wardrobe and showing me a small array of maternity clothes that he'd been keeping here 'in case of emergencies'. It just so happened that the white brushed cotton pyjamas he had for me were the loveliest things I'd ever worn and I would be pretty happy not to take them off till this baby decided to make an appearance.
"Tea for you" Harry smiled his goofy smile as he passed me a steaming cup of tea which I wrapped my hands around in delight.
He shuffled around and placed the tray between us with a plate piled high with warm toast.
"Heaven" I mumbled in ecstasy as I took a bite. "I didn't know breakfast in bed was part of the deal. I would have stayed a lot earlier" I giggled through a mouthful of toast.
"Maybe I should have made that known before the first night you stayed" Harry attempted a joke but it was too close to my current worries for me to laugh. I took another bite of toast to avoid answering him.
"What's your plans today?" He asked swiftly, sensing my discomfort.
I shrugged as I tried to swallow my mouthful of toast. "I have no plans. Amanda gave me the rest of the week off because I have so little work so, I might go shopping or something, I'm starting to panic I don't have enough baby grows at mine, and I wanted to pick up some socks for Peanut" I smiled proudly as I rested my hand on my bump just as the baby started kicking and tossing and turning. Quickly I grabbed Harry's free hand and placed it over the area where the movements had just been. He smiled as he felt a foot or an elbow nudge his hand. Despite having felt the baby move loads in the past few weeks Harry's face still lit up every time he felt the little one move inside me. The most ridiculous grin sat on his face as he kept his hand pressed against my skin.
"I have a meeting with Jeff this morning about plans for the album, you could come with me if you wanted then we can go and buy all the tiny baby socks the shops have to offer?" Harry asked as he stretched his legs out under the covers. The bed dipped at the weight of his legs so close to mine. For a second all I could think of was what it would feel like if his leg touched mine. I would only need to move my leg an inch or two and I would feel his calf against mine.
"Earth to Nora?" Harry's chuckle abruptly ended my day dream and my eyes snapped to his.
"How will we manage that?" I was trying so hard not to let my eyes fall to his chest. He was so close I could feel the heat radiating from him and all I wanted to do was reach out and rub my thumb along the butterfly that adorned his abdomen.
"Well we'll need to get dressed first..." Harry's ridiculous grin showed me he knew that wasn't what I was asking, I rolled my eyes at him and shoved at his bicep that was so close to me. It was a lame excuse to touch him but it was all I had right now.
"We'll leave the house, you'll come with me, then we'll go shopping?" Harry shrugged.
"That's not what I meant, Harry" His disinterest in the logistics of how we were going to leave the house together was irritating me more than it should. But so was were most things these days so I was putting it down to hormones.
Harry's nonchalant shrug was the straw that broke the camels back and I erupted.
"Oh for fuck sake H, we'll be seen. Outside. Together" Tossing the fluffy white cover back I swung my legs over the edge of the bed as gracefully as I could manage.
"So?" Harry's voice had an edge of hesitancy.
"I thought that's what we were trying to avoid?" I shot him a look over my shoulder as I took a deep breath before pushing myself off the bed.
"Do we really need to?" Harry's voice followed me as I disappeared into the en-suite. I left the door open a jar and he respected my privacy enough to wait outside the door. Just because he couldn't see me it didn't mean the conversation was over.
"I don't know, you tell me Harry, this is so far out of my territory" I sighed as I took care of business before joining him in the bedroom again where I found him propped up against the wall, one leg bent and his hands hanging by his side. The sight of him without his top on still caused my breath to catch in my throat. His plaid pyjama trousers were hanging dangerously low on his hips and it was taking all my strength not to run my finger along the waistband.
"I just don't see the point in hiding anymore" Harry shrugged as he shoved his hair out of his eyes.
"If we are seen out together they're going to take that as a sign that we're together. Do you really want people assuming we're in a relationship?" I plopped back down on the bed and watched as he sat down beside me, the bed dripping at his proximity, the tray of tea and toast abandoned on the floor.
"They're assuming it anyway" Harry eyed me warily.
I didn't know what he meant. My brain was like a fog that I couldn't fight my way through. Did he mean he wanted people to assume we were together or did he just not care what they thought. He'd fought so hard to keep his private life private and suddenly he wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he was having a baby and now he didn't care who saw us together?
"Ok" I replied simply. "I'll go for a shower then" I got back up from the bed and headed into the en-suite, locking the door behind me. If Harry had clothes for me surely it was safe to assume his bathrooms were stocked with enough products that would see me through a shower.
I was correct, I saw as I leant round the glass shower screen to turn his waterfall shower on. The en-suite to this bedroom was more of a wet room than a bathroom so there was no shower tray to climb into just a glass screen to separate the shower area from the rest of the bathroom. The walls and floor were tiled in a green and blue mosaic tile that reminded me of a cross between a jungle and a peacock and it was oddly soothing. I pulled my pyjamas off and immediately missed their comfort but as I stepped under the scalding water I realised I'd found my new favourite room in Harry's house. The water pressure was stronger than anything I'd felt before, the strength of the water was enough to work out some of the knots in my shoulders and take away the stress of my conversation with Harry.
*
Harry hadn't lied when he said he had the wardrobe equipped with clothes for me. I managed to find the warmest, maternity leggings and the softest grey T-shirt to wear. Luckily I had my trusty converse with me and a simple grey coat to keep me warm. March in London was still super chilly.
"I think I need a hat" I shouted to Harry as I looked at myself in the mirror beside his front door.
"Incoming" He yelled, popping his head round the landing and throwing down a mustard coloured beanie.
"Are you nearly ready?" I shouted as I picked up the hat and pulled it over my freshly washed hair. I'd let it air dry mostly and finished it with Harry's surprisingly efficient hair dryer. I was one of those lucky arseholes that had hair that dried naturally in quite a nice style. It had those beachy waves look which I hopefully wasn't about to ruin with this hat.
"Coming, darling" Harry laughed as he came racing down the stairs.
"Is there anything you can't wear?" I laughed as he came to an abrupt stop at the bottom of the stairs. He looked at his outfit quizzically. "Because that jumper is the most hideous shade of yellow I have ever seen. But somehow you make it work"
Harry shrugged and pouted at my roundabout compliment. "Ready to go?" He asked picking up his wallet and his phone from the side table as he came to join me beside the door.
"Mate, I've been ready for HOURS, you're the diva that takes forever to get ready"
"Shut up" He laughed as his hand found the small of my back and guided me out the front door.
*
Watching Harry in a work environment was fascinating. More often than not I witnessed Harry's goofy side and then more recently his softer, affectionate side. But this charming, focused Harry was a bit of a turn on. I sat curled up on a black leather sofa beside Harry as Jeff, some bearded man conveniently also named Jeff and a dozen others sat on an eclectic mix of sofa's and armchairs in a semi-circle around a coffee table, facing Harry. I tried to blend in as best I could, I amused myself with emails and social media on my phone while Harry discussed release dates and a promo tour. I was barely listening when suddenly I heard Harry say my name.
I looked up to see every set of eyes on me and suddenly the colour drained from my cheeks. What had I missed? I looked at him and saw a small smirk play on his lips.
"What do you think?" Harry asked, the subtle grin told me he knew I had missed their whole discussion.
I wasn't confident enough that I could bullshit my way out of this one.
"What do I think about what?" I asked warily. "Sorry H, I wasn't paying any attention" I attempted a smile which he answered with a matching grin. My response evoked a small titter of laughter around the room. I don't imagine people often told Harry they hadn't been listening to him.
"A promo tour for the album at the end of June then European and North American tour in November?"
It felt like someone had pressed pause and I could slowly feel my heart sink into my stomach. A promo tour would mean he'd be away for a couple of weeks and a tour in Europe and North America would mean he'd be away for weeks, maybe even months. But what could I say in front of all these people?
"How long would you be away for?" I asked quietly, suddenly conscious of the room full of people watching our interaction. What I wouldn't give for it just to be him and I right now.
"We. How long would we be away for, you mean" He gestured between us. "You'd need to come with me. You both would" His eyes shot to my belly then back to my face. His eyes were full of apprehension and fear. Fear that I'd say no? That I wouldn't follow him around the world with our child? Like I had a choice.
"Oh. right" His revaluation had me stunned. "Eh, yeah, that's fine. Sure" I stumbled an answer as he smiled and went back to his discussion with his team. I looked up to see only one set of eyes on me now. Jeff's. A grateful smile played on his lips. He gave me a small nod and went back to their conversation.
*
"Jesus, Harry you could have given me a kick or something" I whined, burying my head into my hands as we drove home that night. The boot was packed with baby socks, baby grows, swaddling blankets and a Schnuggle baby bath that looked more like a storage tub or a plant pot but it supposedly made bathing babies super easy so we'd give it a go.
"The look of bewilderment on your face when I called your name made it all worth it" Harry smirked, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the gear stick. I was very conscious of how his hand was extremely close to my knee and I'd much rather it be on my knee.
"I must have looked like such a fool in front of all those important people" I pulled my hat down further trying to pull it over my head so I was out of sight and Harry couldn't see me die of embarrassment all over again.
"It was funny" Harry grinned, pulling the hat from the top and clean off my head.
"Great, hat hair" I frown trying to flatten down the stray fly away hairs.
"Do you want to head somewhere for dinner? Or just..." He trailed off, tossing my hat into the back of the car.
"I'd rather just go home" I admitted honestly.
"Home as in...?" Harry eyed me hesitantly
"As in yours. Sorry" I fumbled "I meant yours, if that's ok?"
"That's fine by me, Sweetheart" A satisfied smile played over Harry's plump, pink lips.