Chapter 27: Breaking Down
Ember Corbin
"The patient needs a lot of rest. If it's possible, you need to lessen her stress," the doctor said in English, his Spanish accent visible in it.
"Gracias, Doctor," a guy named MatÃas said with a perfect accent.
I was in Spain right now. Lance brought me here. Did he think that bringing me here would help me forgive him? All his efforts are going to go to waste.
"I'm going to let my wife know that you're eating here," MatÃas said and smiled at me. I didn't want to be rude, so I nodded at him.
When the door closed, only Lance and I were left in the big room. It was so quiet that I could literally hear the busy street downstairs. It was New Year's Eve, after all. But unlike others, I had nothing to celebrate this new year.
"Ember..." Lance spoke to gain my attention, but I didn't even glance at him and kept my eyes glued to the big window. The ray of light was so colorful in this cold season, compared to Vegas, that I wanted to reach out for it.
"You don't have to look at me, just hear me out. Okay?" I felt the couch dip beside me. Earlier he was sitting on a couch away from me, and now, his presence was too close for the well-being of my heart.
"Ember."
I hated that my heart still skipped a beat for him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ember, you have to believe me. I didn't know who you were at first. I only learned about it when I dug up your past after you requested it from me."
Every word he was uttering was filled with sincerity and sadness that made my heart acheâit made me want to believe him. Come what may, he was still the reason why I was hurting.
"When I first met you, I knew that you wouldn't do me any good, so that's why I tried to stay away from you. But you are you..." I heard him chuckle a bit while reminiscing about the first time we met, but I still didn't turn to look at him.
"But it looks like fate has been playing with us ever since that first moment. When I saw you again after I pushed you away, my mind kept telling me to ignore you. Yet, I felt something pulling me to you. Maybe it was my heart telling me you were the one for me. Your smiles are like a drug to me. Each day I've been craving it more and more."
I stayed quiet the entire time.
I almost jumped when I felt his cold hand on top of mine.
"I swear that I didn't plan on hiding the truth from you. I was going to tell you as soon as I could. But then, Zeth happened. I was willing to give him everything, just for him not to harm you. When he told me to kneel in front of him, I did. But then I saw youâyou were not moving, and there was a knife in your stomach. Blood was dripping from your wound. It was terrifying."
He further said, "I lost myself from that moment, and before I even knew it, I killed him."
My eyes widened, and I slowly turned to him. He looked like he was stopping his tears from falling.
"I am not sorry that I killed him, Ember, but I want you to know that I am sorry about your mother. I'm not hoping for anything. If you hate me, that's fine. I am ready to bear your hatred. But I hope that someday you can stare into my eyes again without sadness and hateâonly with love. As they say, time heals everything."
A few drops of tears poured out of my eyes as I continued to hear him.
"Until then, I won't appear in front of you. Not unless you want me to," he smiled sadly at me, and this time, he couldn't prevent his tears from falling. He lifted my hand and kissed it like it would be the last time. The fireworks went off outside the windows as the clock struck twelve. "I love you, Em." With that, he walked away.
Lance just confessed he loved me. But it was too much to handle. After all, he ruined my family.
###
I hadn't seen Lance ever since that night. It had been ten days, and who knows where he was and what he was doing. I tried to ask MatÃas, but even he didn't know where he went. All he told me was that Lance came every time that I was asleep and left before I woke up.
I had been thinking ever since then. I didn't want to let go of what happened to my mom, but I didn't think she would want me to be stuck in my past. But would she let me let her go if she knew that the man who decided her last fate was my boyfriend?
That night I stayed still on my bed while I was waiting for Lance to arrive. It was midnight already, and I was getting sleepy.
"Thank you for always looking out for her." My eyes automatically shut when I heard voices outside my room.
Lance!
"It's nothing, and Maria likes to spend time with her," replied MatÃas.
Maria was the seventeen years old daughter of MatÃas. She was always with me whenever I wanted to go out.
After a few seconds, I tried to control my breathing, as I heard his footsteps getting closer to me. I was lying on my back on the bed. I felt the bed sink a little and jumped when I felt his lips on my forehead.
"Did you have a good day?" Lance asked in a whisper, and I was about to open my eyes because I thought he knew I wasn't sleeping when he suddenly spoke again. "I had a great day. I saw you in the market with Maria this afternoon. The blue dress looked really good on you," he said, and I noticed that his voice was getting lower as if he was afraid I would wake up.
"I bought it for you and told Maria to give it to you. But I knew you wouldn't wear it if you knew that it was from me."
I opened my eyes slowly when I heard a plastic noise in the distance and saw him tidying up the mess I made on the table.
Every day I always had a lot of trash in my room. I thought MatÃas's wife was cleaning it for me, but had it been Lance all along? I slowly sat up on my bed since he was busy.
"You know, every time that I see you smile, I just want to hug you. But I'm always stopping myself, wanting to give you some space. I keep saying that I still need your forgivenessâ"
"Then, why aren't you begging for it?" I saw how his body tensed up when I cut him off. He was picking up the trash and froze in his place.
"You think I would forgive you if you're like this? Taking care of me from the shadows? I wouldn't appreciate it, Lance. If you want me to forgive you, then show me you are worthy of it," I said, then glared at him before lying back on the bed and covering myself with the blanket.
# # #
I didn't know how it happened, but since when was I sitting here awkwardly? This morning I thought Lance already left, but I saw him cooking in MatÃas's kitchen. He was not staring directly at my eyes and always had his head down. But that was not the problem now!
"It's nice to see you healthy, Ember," Tansen told me while looking around my room. He was Lance's father.
"Thank you, Mr. Storm. Are you perhaps looking for Lance? I was told that he was collecting his things from where he had been stayingâ" I was cut off when he suddenly gave me a blank look.
"I'm here to talk to you, Ember," he said with a serious voice, and he finally decided to take a seat in front of me.
"Mr. Storm, if you're here to convince me about your son, please don't. I want him to solve this himself," I said sincerely to him, though I hadn't decided anything yet.
"No, I'm not here for that. I just want to give you some advice. I know my son can earn your forgiveness someday."
I stared directly at him when he suddenly smiled genuinely at me. He and Lance had the same smile. If I didn't know better, I would say they were brothers, not father and son.
"You know, Ember, when you focus on things that happened in the past, you're going to miss things out in the present. Your future would be clouded with misery as your mind is still stuck in the past," he said in between sipping the tea that Maria made for us. "Focusing on the past will ruin the chances of having a bright future."
I stayed quiet as he further spoke.
"Lance... He always put the gang first. It's something that makes him feel alive. He started taking control of the gang just after turning eighteen. As soon as he was out of high school, he moved to Vegas to start taking over as the leader. It was like a dream that he already reached and couldn't let go of, but it all changed when you came. You made him realize what love is.
"You shouldn't blame Lance for everything, Ember. What happened to your mom was partially your father's fault. He took a big sum of money as a loan, and he knew what would happen if he failed to pay us back. He signed a contract, Ember," he said with a convincing voice.
I wanted to get mad at him for telling me it was not Lance's fault, but I couldn't. My father was indeed at fault as well, but I didn't want to think that.
"Lanceâhe was new at that time, and what he decided was merciful. Your dad ran and hid from us for almost six years. He's not as good as you think. He did things you couldn't imagine. Hell, he even killed people. How do you think your father knew to ask us for a loan?"
Tansen was right. But it was still all too hard to accept.
"I just want you to know that Lance was merciless when it came to the Mafia Thunder, but when he met you, you became his new life, Ember. And I just hope that you can forgive him someday," he said without a break, hitting me with every word like he wanted my brain to analyze it carefully.
"And I just want you to know that he left the gang for you." Without any notice, Tansen Storm left me with a big decision to make.
The gang was his life, but Lance chose me.