Chapter 29: 26 | deep waters

"This isn't normal, you know that right?"

Avery's smile widens, her hold of Ethan's hand tightening as she almost slips on a wet root where they're out on the beach trail. The gravel's darker and softer than usual from the wetness coating it, their sneaker clad feet sinking into it. He shoots her a glance of feigned disapproval as she slips over another root, shaking his head at her near accident as if to further punctuate his words.

The light sound of her laughter melts together with the sound of rainwater smattering against the leaves of the trees. Using her free hand she pulls at the arm of her windbreaker zipped all the way to her collar, the rain pouring from the gray October sky prickling the black fabric.

"Come on Taylor, live a little."

It's early morning. Early morning in the sense that it had been just past 5 a.m. when she dragged him out of her bed and the comfort of her warm pink sheets to go on a walk in the pouring rain. The overnight mist from the drop of warmth has held out, cloaking their path and lingering in a fog across the beach and the sea – shades of deep blue reflecting the dark clouds above.

She tilts her head back while walking, cheeks warming as they tighten with her smile as the water prickles her skin. It trails down her cheeks, the slope of her nose, lingering in her brows and on her lips. Strays of her hair has loosened from her ponytail and they're just as soaked through as the rest of her as they fly in the wind, whipping her forehead.

Grabbing his other hand, their cold palms somehow warm against each other as they melt together, she pulls him off the track and across the wet grass towards the edge.

"Let's just stay here for a while. Enjoy the rain."

"I thought that was what we're doing."

She glances up at the dark sky. "It's different like this."

Out of the corner of her eye she sees his lips twitch, the still green tree crowns dancing in the wind behind him. "You really are something."

"I hope that's a good thing."

He lets go of one of her hands and she flickers her eyes back to him as he pushes back the few errant strands of hairs having glued themselves to her skin. "There's not one bad thing about you."

"He says to the West Capulet."

"Okay so one bad thing."

Smiling, she turns around to glance out at the water below – relaxing back against his chest as he wraps his arms around her. She wraps her arms around his, their hands finding each other again. Blinking away the droplets lingering on her lashes she watches as the waves crash onto the shore with a thundering beat, gaze flickering across the dunes of sand beneath the fog and lets a deep exhale tickle her lips.

It's nice to be able to be out like this, the two of them – not another soul in sight. Even with the rain soaking her to the bone, even though she's barely slept thanks to the crack of thunder having awoken her at dawn, there's a sense of peace to just being here.

She imagines it's a sensation close to the one Ethan had spoken of that day he grabbed her hand outside the T.H Publishing offices, dragging her to his car only to place her in front of the ocean – telling her to let it help whatever was hurting her. Whenever she's caught in a rain storm, water prickling her face and trailing down her skin, her lungs always seem to expand as if opening up to give her enough room to breathe. Proper breaths. Deep inhales and exhales. Slow. Steady. No rush.

Just the two of them.

Tilting her head back against his shoulder as his hold around her tightens, her smile falters slightly as she glances up at him. She lets go of one of his hands, lifting her thumb to gently press it to the crease of concern on his forehead to smooth it back out. Just as she's imagined so many times before.

His brows knit deeper together before slowly smoothing out, his eyes finding hers as he realizes what she's doing. Cracking a smile, a silent chortle escapes him and her lips slip into a mirroring smile – only widening as he tugs at her hand to twirl her around to him.

He lets his arm fall to her waist to hold her close as their breaths melt together in the misty warmth in the inches of space between them. Her eyes flickers to his as she cups his cheek, running her thumb over the skin coated in water and his hold tightens as he loops his arm around her to ease her closer.

She holds her free palm out towards the sky, feeling the rain prickle it. "Quite great, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

Her breath hitches as his thumb brushes over her lip, her gaze falling to it as he lets it follow the curve of her mouth – a shaky exhale escaping her at the deliberately slow movement. Flickering her eyes back to his she can't help the twitch of her lips as she notices the faint smirk sprawled over his features.

"God you're such an–" She cuts herself off as his finger hooks beneath her chin, his lips pressing a kiss to her jaw. Sprawling her fingers through his drenched curls her body curves into his as he lifts her lips to his in a kiss.

♡♡♡

Avery picks at her salad, glancing up at her friends where they're all sat at a table in the courtyard connected to their school's cafeteria. Nic swats Callie's hand away from his plate and she swats it back before grabbing a fry off of it. Luke and Lea are barely eating as they're busy tackling a mock math quiz. And Avery, well Avery's picking at her sad excuse of a salad.

In theory, telling her friends about Ethan seems a pretty simple task to do. In reality, not so much.

She has a pretty good idea of where to start, which is why she has plans with Luke this afternoon. They're supposed to hang out under the false pretense that she's finally given in to his pleads to help him analyze a book she's pretty certain he hasn't even read for class.

She is going to help him. As well as feed him pizza while she somehow tells him about Ethan, preferably in a different way than she told her mother. Blurting out the words 'I have a boyfriend. Ethan is my boyfriend,' may not be the best way to reveal her relationship to her best friend. Efficient yes. Smart? Probably not.

It doesn't help that her boyfriend is the supposed enemy of her best friend. Though, there's not much speaking for the fact that they actually are enemies. It's just one more thing rooted in their town's decades long tradition of rivalry. She has more faith in Luke than to believe he'll completely abandon her over something so trivial but she can't deny she's worried it will change things between them.

She needs to get his reaction out of the way. If she knows where she has Luke, Nic and Lea will be easier. At least that's what she's hoping for.

She's telling Luke today. She's been putting it off for days now. It's time.

Even her mother thinks it's time. Just yesterday night Sarah had, not so tactfully, let Avery know how in her opinion sneaking around is no way to go about having a relationship. A few weeks ago Avery probably would've disagreed but she knows her mom is right and while her worries haven't completely dispersed, she knows the time's come to do something about it.

There's still something scary to the thought of showing their relationship to the world. There's still a warning lingering in the back of her mind, speaking of the risk of letting people close enough. Oo the risk of having someone attempt to tear them apart. But those worries are emptier now. They don't affect her as much.

The relationship she has with Ethan isn't delicate. Nor fragile. They're strong.

He's made it clear several time he's not going anywhere. It's time she believes him. She's not planning on leaving him behind either. There's no place she'd rather be than by his side.

Having to hide him – them – is becoming unbearable, and even if she has no idea what the alternative will bring it's worth the risk. He's worth the risk.

Which is exactly why it's time she tells her friends.

She spears a leaf of salad onto her fork, lips pulling into a faint smile at the reminder that once this is out of the way – no matter the outcome – she'll be free to hold his hand wherever they are. It's a tiny bit of knowledge offering enough comfort for her to know that today she will not back out due to the uncertainties. No, today she's getting everything she wants to tell off her chest.

Lifting her gaze again she lets it linger on Luke for a beat. He's explaining something to Lea in what sounds as complete gibberish to Avery's ears – and judging by the look on Lea's face she has an equally hard time grasping his words.

Knowing Luke, he'll make her reveal more dramatic than it has to be. He'll probably make it about himself for a while. Then she'll have to sit through his pouting. She wouldn't be surprised if she'll have to defend herself – or Ethan for that matter. She's known Luke long enough to have ended up fighting with him more than a handful of times before. She's also known Luke long enough to know how to handle him in a disagreement, and she's fairly certain this will turn into one.

The important thing is he'll hear it from her first. She hopes the rest will sort itself.

In her moments of doubt – when her worries manage to seep into her veins, when her mind's tangling up her thoughts as it goes over every possible outcome to all of this, Ethan's been there to talk her out of it.

He's reminded her of how Luke is the one who got everyone to come back for her this summer when her trip to Orlando was cancelled. He's reminded her how they have an entire lifetime of friendship in their favor. He even reminded her how the very first time he ever spoke to her it was because she'd seen him exchange a few words with Luke, how she had been ready to rip him a new one if he'd done anything to insult her best friend. And how Luke would do the same for her in a heartbeat.

He's reassured her Luke wouldn't just walk away and while she knows the two boys will probably never be friends she's got to admit Ethan does quite a good job talking him up.

And she loves him for it.

He doesn't know that yet.

She still has a difficult time letting herself form those words in the privacy of her own mind without being tempted to run for the hills. But they're true.

♡♡♡

Her skin grows both warm and cold simultaneously – goosebumps pricking her skin one second to have them wiped away with a flush the next, a clamminess to her palms as she drops her fork into her plate.

It's not as much a hunch as it is knowing.

From the way Lea and Luke lift their gazes from the screen of his phone to look at her there's no other explanation. Just mere seconds ago they were laughing at something dumb but there's no trace of humor in their expressions now.

They know.

She doesn't know how they know but they know.

Luke's brows dip together as his eyes travel back to the screen, a frown etching into his features. Lea simply stares at Avery – who's chest rises and falls slowly with her breath beneath the heavy beat of her heart. Lea's eyes flicker to Luke before they're back to Avery, opening her mouth as if she wants to say something only to press her lips together.

Avery's heartbeat picks up speed, blood rushing past her ears as Nic's phone signals a text message next. Her fingers grasp around the napkin on her tray, crumpling it up in her hand as he slides the decide out of his pocket and glances down at the screen.

"What the hell?"

She swallows as his eyes flicker to her before falling back to the phone, confusion sprawled over his features and she can practically feel the beat of her heart against her chest bone now.

She's not sure she wants to know what's on that screen.

Callie shifts carefully in her seat, shooting Avery a sideways glance before turning her attention to their three friends. Out of the corner of her eye Avery can see her worry her lip, as if she doesn't want to ask the question lingering on the tip of her tongue but considering no one else speaks, Callie seems to decide she has to.

"What just happened?"

Wordlessly, Nic flickers his eyes to Avery once more before sliding his phone across the table. She doesn't look at it – can't bring herself to – but as Callie tenses next to her, fully biting down at her lip she knows there's no way out of it.

With a trembling hand she eases the phone out of Callie's grip. It takes her a second to realize what she's watching but as her eyes take in the scenery of the video on the screen her heart catches in her throat, air leaving her in a sharp exhale.

A flare of heat shoots through her – flushing her skin before the cold sets in again, prickling her arms in goosebumps. She simply stares at the screen, hands trembling worse now from the anger simmering in the pit of her stomach. She doesn't have to watch the video of her and Ethan in the rain on the beach trail. She was there. She lived it. That was a moment for the two of them – and only the two of them.

And now it's on Nic's phone. And Luke's phone.

A wave of nausea hits her, bile building up her throat. Oh my God.

Lifting her gaze she flickers her eyes between the two boys as she croaks out, "Who sent you this?"

She swipes the video down, met with nothing but an unknown number and as she can't take one more second of seeing the few seconds play on a loop she slides the phone back across the table.

She was supposed to tell Luke today.

Searching for something – anything – to say she attempts to gather her thoughts but they're running wild. No matter how hard she tries it seems she can't string together enough words to make at least one coherent sentence.

Callie finds her hand under the table, interlacing their fingers with a gentle squeeze and Avery rolls her lips together as her throat tightens.

"I–"

She's barely gotten the first word out as her phone goes off where it lies on the table, screen lightening up with the incoming call. Their gazes fall to the interruption at once, a short breath of disbelief leaving Luke's lips as he spots the caller-id.

"Worked with his mom, right?" There's a sharp bitterness to his tone as he pushes his tray away and gets to his feet, nodding towards the phone. "You should probably get that."

He leaves without another word, shrugging Lea off as she reaches her hand out to stop him and the girl flickers her eyes across the table to Avery – something apologetic to them before she purses her lips and gets up too. She doesn't bother to take any of her things with her as she heads the same way as the boy, quickening her pace in an attempt to catch up to him.

Avery watches them leave before her gaze returns to the phone still ringing on the table.

"I have to–"

Her fingers are still trembling as she grasps the device, the metal cold between them as she lets her other hand slip out of Callie's hold. As not to miss the call she slides her thumb across the screen while she gets to her feet, putting it to her ear with a "Hold on,".

The exhale resembling a sigh on the other end of the line doesn't do much to soothe her already rapid heartbeat. With one last glance at her friends – Nic looking genuinely confused as if he doesn't know what his next move should be and Callie having begun to collect all their trash and plates onto her tray – she steers her steps through and out of the courtyard.

♡♡♡

She doesn't speak until she reaches the fluorescent lit grayish hallway reaching between this building and the adjoint gym. "Hey."

It's only one word but he picks up on the defeat in her tone of voice right away. "You already know,"

Pressing her palm to the wall she attempts to anchor herself to make the floor sway a little less beneath her feet, to make it spin a little slower. Her throat dries up, another wave of nausea washing over her at his words.

She had tried to tell herself she was only imagining the heads turned her way upon whirling through the tables of the courtyard and the cafeteria. Had tried to tell herself it was simply her brain processing the past minutes, exaggerating the feeling of having had the ground stripped from underneath her. Now she's not so sure.

"Waters?"

His voice brings her out of her jumbled mind but the anger and sadness melting together doesn't fade. She sighs against the wall, doing her best to not let her legs give in at the beaten down tone of his voice – imagining him rubbing a hand through his short dark curls, his brows etching together to bring out the wrinkle on his forehead.

"I'm still here," She breathes out, letting her head fall back against the wall as she wraps her cardigan closer around her. "Just... thinking."

"How bad is it?"

"Luke saw it. And Nic. And Lea."

And God knows who else.

A beat of silence passes between them and she swears she hears him sigh again before he asks, "What did they say?"

"Not much. Yet,"

Pressing her lips together, she forces another wave of angry annoyance that comes with the reminder she was cheated out of telling her friends about this herself out of the way. It soon fades into concern, her eyes fluttering shut. "Are you okay?"

While Ethan didn't exactly plan on calling a team meeting to discuss his dating life she knows he had planned on telling at least a few of his friends. He was waiting for her to tell hers, considering he knows how important they are to her. With Jake already knowing he already had that equivalent part covered. But even if he didn't plan on personally telling every person he comes across, she imagines this isn't what he had in mind either.

"I'm fine. People are idiots but that's nothing new,"

A faint laugh escapes her lips, dispersing some of the tightness in her chest.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. No. I don't know."

"What about your plans with Luke? Is that still a thing?"

"I doubt it," She suppresses a sigh, casting a glance at the clock above the door leading back into the main building. Lunch is almost over. "I have to see if he'll talk to me first. And for that I have to figure out where he is."

"Can I come over tonight? After practice?"

Her lips pull into a faint smile, nodding even though he can't see her. He doesn't even have to ask. "Yes. Please."

Another voice appears in the distance on his end. The words are an incoherent string to her but she makes it out to be Jake and in return Ethan mumbles "Soon," before cursing under his breath.

"I hate to do this but I have to go."

Nodding again, she bites down at her lip as her eyes flickers to the clock on the wall again. Soon so does she. "I'll see you tonight."

"See you tonight."

She lets a long exhale out her lips as they hang up. This hallway is miraculously empty, providing a sense of peace and quiet but she knows she'll have to get back out there soon enough and she doesn't know what to expect when she does.

Clutching her phone in her palm she tenses immediately as it sounds with a text message and she straightens up as she carefully turns the screen towards her. Her shoulders relax with a breath of relief as she spots the notif.

'Calliope'

Got your things. Walking you to class <3 Where are you?

. . .

as promised I'm here to say hello hi!

can you tell I'm a child of the generation that grew up waiting around for new episodes of shows like pretty little liars and gossip girl every week?

I love you all THIS much and I appreciate your kind words of support more than you can ever know.

much love, yours always

linn