Chapter 28: 25 | jealousy, jealousy

"Look," Callie cuts Avery off mid-sentence where the two of them are sat on the beige linoleum floor across from the nurse's office in their matching sets of runner shorts and their blue Acebridge West zip-up hoodies. "I don't think Ethan is a bad person. I mean, remember that night last year when I could barely stand on my own two feet and he helped me out?"

"When you asked if he knew how voter registration works and then proceeded to throw up all over his shoes?" Avery presses her lips together to suppress the sympathetic laugh on the tip of her tongue as Callie grimaces. "I remember. So does he, by the way. May I ask you to refrain from doing that again tonight?"

"Fine by me," She says, pulling at the ends of her hair to tighten her ponytail. "Point being, you don't have to try and convince me he's a good guy. That's not why–"

They fall silent as the door across from the unlocks, Ms Bennett – their school nurse – popping her head out through the crack. A small sigh escapes her and she lets the door slide open further, revealing Lea sat atop the hospital bed with a sour expression and an ice pack pressed to her knee.

"If you two girls aren't planning on returning to class you may as well come wait inside."

"Don't let them in," Lea huffs. "They'll only want to call my mom and then I won't get to play this weekend."

"I don't think you should be playing either way," Ms Bennett shoots over her shoulder before raising her brows at the two girls still sat on the floor. "So?"

Callie flashes her brightest smile. "We'll be in in a minute."

Avery's pretty sure if it had been anyone else they'd been sent back to class already but something about Callie's energy has the ability to soften even the sharpest edges of authority and Ms Bennett only shakes her head with a small smile before closing the door on them again. As soon as they're left to their privacy in the somewhat oddly smelling empty hallway Callie turns to look at Avery again.

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you about it," Callie says to explain her silence these past days. It's the first time ever since Ethan drove the two of them home from the Homecoming BBQ last week they've grazed the topic and though Avery's itched for Callie to say something – anything – she hasn't wanted to push either. Hasn't been sure what her friend's words will be once they're spoken. Callie lets her ponytail out, running a hand through the fiery ginger shades with a small sigh. "But I feel like the more I know the more I'll be keeping from the others and you know I can't lie to save a life and–"

Avery bites down at her lip, casting her eyes across the hall to where 'VOTE CABRAL MONTGOMERY' is etched into the surface of a locker by blue pen. She scratches at the remains of her nail polish from Saturday's Homecoming dance, slight guilt settling on her chest. "I haven't asked you to lie for me. I don't expect you to."

"I know you haven't asked me to but it's not like you've told anyone else about this. Which I get, I do. But... you know."

She knows Callie didn't ask to have her very obvious feelings for Ethan shoved in her face. It sort of just happened. Pressing her lips together, she leans her head back against the wall. "I'm sorry I put you in this situation."

Callie dismisses her words with a small wave of her hand, tone of voice softer as she scoots closer and rests her head upon Avery's shoulder – enveloping her in her sweet coconut scent. "He makes you happy. I can tell,"

Avery's lips tug into a smile.

"I think this is the first time you've actually let someone in close."

With a roll of her eyes, Avery points her finger into her friend's shoulder. "You exist you know."

"That's not the same," Callie pauses, as if pondering her next words. "Don't take this the wrong way now – because I know I have my fair share of issues too, but with you it's like every time someone new comes around you push them away. As if you're limiting the risk of being hurt behind by not letting anyone close enough in the first place. But not with him. He knows your shit. You wouldn't have gone to him if he didn't. You were upset and you went to him. He knows. Because you let him in."

There's a twinge of pride to the last few words spoken by her friends and a warmth runs through Avery, smile widening as her mind lingers on her boyfriend. Callie's right. Ethan knows. A lot. He knows far more about her than she's ever told anyone else. She didn't mean for it to turn out that way – it just happened.

"Are you sure you're going into politics? Maybe you should consider becoming a therapist or something."

A lighthearted laugh escapes Callie. "I don't know about that – that would very much be a the blind leading the blind situation," She straightens up, turning to fully look at Avery. "I'm glad you've begun to tear those walls down. I know they're there to keep the bad out, but once they're there they tend to keep a lot of the good out too. You deserve some good Ave, even if it comes in the shape of Ethan Taylor."

Avery laughs, the sound echoing against the walls and the door to the nurse's office swings open once more. Ms Bennett attempts a neutral expression at the sight of them sat across from her, their knees pressed to their chests, in their matching outfits.

"Girls," She raises her brows, casting a glance at her bare wrist. "This is beginning to look like one very long minute."

Upon stepping into the office, Lea pouts at them. "You called my mom, didn't you?"

"No," Callie exchanges a look with Avery. "We might have sent her a text though."

"I hate you and you're annoying."

"And we love you," Avery says, punctuating her words by wrapping an arm around Lea only to be shoved away. Pressing her lips together Avery hides her smile. "As long as you keep insisting on completely battering your knees we'll continue to be annoying."

Callie nods and Lea leans back with a frown. "So? What was so important chitchatting about you couldn't even spare a moment to sit in here and feel sorry for me?"

"Books."

"Politics."

Avery and Callie exchange another look at the latter speaks again, perching in a seat at the end of the bed. "Yeah, politics," She says, repeating Avery's response. "The election you know. And books because... well because Avery reads a lot of them."

"I do, I really do."

Lea's brows knit together, flickering her gaze between her friends. "Whatever," She sits up rather abruptly, clutching her side as she grimaces. "Oh for fu–"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," She tosses the now somewhat condensed ice pack to the side as she shoots a glance at the clock on the wall above the door. Their P.E class is since long over and next period is about to begin. "We should get going. I can't afford to miss out on my math quiz."

As Ms Bennett pulls Lea aside, repeating her opinion of how she shouldn't be playing in the game this weekend, Callie wraps her arms around Avery from where she's stood by her side and lowers her voice. "I like seeing you happy, by the way."

♡♡♡

Ethan kills the engine as they pull in behind a car on a more-or-less empty street of the neighboring block to where Matthew Puckett's party is held, shooting Avery an amused sideways glance as she belts out the last few lines of the song playing on the radio.

It's a Homecoming afterparty. Which makes absolutely no sense at all considering Homecoming last weekend but Ethan's been talked into going which means she's going too. Not together, of course. But with both him and her friends being there there's really no other place for her to be on this Friday night.

He laughs lightly as she catches her breath from her tone-deaf rendition of the pop tune, unbuckling her seatbelt and running a smoothing hand down her simple light blue dress. Her car door is yanked open just as she twists in her seat to smile at him.

"If I have to wait while you two make out I might gag."

A breathless laugh, her throat still sore from her one-man-show, escapes Avery as she turns her head over her shoulder to look at Callie where she's stood in the darkness of the night – a leather jacket thrown over her silk camisole.

"Not happening," She leans forward, tapping the windshield of the SUV. "These things are see-through."

"As if the two of you being sat here is any less of a giveaway," Callie rolls her eyes before letting her lips slip into her well rehearsed politician smile, shooting a look over Avery's shoulder. "Hello."

"Hey."

"Sorry I threw up on you that one time."

A chortled breath escapes Ethan. "All forgotten."

Avery holds back a laugh of her own with a silent snort, reaching over to run her thumb over the back of his hand before climbing out of the car. She pauses with her fingers around the handle, running her other hand through her hair. "I'll see you in there."

"See you Waters."

"Oh god," Callie links their arms together, pulling Avery with her across the street. "Are you going to have that grin on your face all night?"

Avery does her best to press her lips together, willing her heart to calm from the rush of warmth Ethan manages to send through her every time he smiles. "Better?"

Callie shoots her a glance as they take another turn, her boots clicking against the pavement. "Not that it's important but I'm definitely scoring best friend points right now, right?"

A faint laugh escapes Avery as she echoes, "Definitely."

♡♡♡

That trademark cross of a grin and a smirk sprawls across Jake's features as his eyes settle on her and Avery doesn't like it. She doesn't like it at all.

Stood in the doorway to what seems to be a dining room, the dining table turned into a makeshift ping pong table – or rather beer pong table – her eyes narrow as they meet his, only having his smirk-grin widen.

With Brianna and Rhea having announced they were 'over it' before even beginning to play, Jake had twirled on his feet while loudly searching the room for another set of opponents. Now Avery internally reprimands herself for having lingered in the doorway in the first place.

She and Lea had been on their way back to their friends when she'd spotted her boyfriend out of the corner of her eye, having paused to simply watch him pour beer into the plastic cups stood on the table. If it hadn't been for her lips twisting into a smile, warmth flushing her from inside out, every time her eyes stumble upon him she would have been safely stood with her friends on the other side of this house right now. Judging from the glimmer crossing Jake's eyes, that would've been for the best.

"Avery."

Ethan looks up from adjusting the formation of the cups at the sound of name leaving his friend's lips – eyes flickering to where she's stood in the doorway. A frown settles into his features as his gaze swings to Jake. "Her?"

Jake doesn't bother sparing Ethan a glance at the bite in his tone, simply nodding towards Avery.

"You," His eyes flickers to Lea stood by her side. "And you. If you think you're up for it."

Ethan moves from one end of the table to the other, eyes back on the cups. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Gesturing to the few people sprawled about – sat on what she presumes is the dining chairs lining the walls, the floor and lingering in the opened up doorway to the porch – Avery rolls her lips together. "I'm sure one of these people will play but we were actually about to–"

"We're playing."

Oh great. Jake managed to prod Lea's competitive side.

Avery sighs, sensing Ethan's eyes on her but she deliberately keeps her own gaze elsewhere. Being in the same house as Ethan without actually being able to be with him is harder than she had thought. It physically aches her – heartstrings pulled so hard there's no room for them to fall back into a relaxed state – to not be able to reach out for him whenever she wants.

"Lea–"

"I'll make sure we win and you get to shove it in their faces of whatever," Lea says, already walking over to the table. She pushes a hand through her dark curls, shooting Avery a pointed look before beckoning her over. "Come on."

Flickering her eyes across the room again Avery lets them linger on Ethan for a fraction of a second. He raises his brows in question and she draws a breath through her nose, nodding once before walking over to her friend. It seems they're doing this.

She doesn't shy away from shooting Jake a glare as she passes him but his grin only widens.

"What?" He muses innocently, rounding the table to get into position. "I get to have my fun too."

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Ethan shove him in the shoulder and her lips pull into a faint smile, which only pulls back further as Lea stretches her palms out in front of her before stretching her neck to her sides.

"I thought you weren't drinking tonight?"

"That was when I had a game to play tomorrow. But as I'll be watching from the sidelines it won't exactly matter if I'm a hundred percent there," Lea shoots her a somewhat sour look at the reminder of Avery having told her mother about her knees giving out during P.E., pulling her hair into a ponytail but Avery's too busy eyeing the beer with a skeptical curve of her lips to care. Lea simply pats her arm. "Hold your nose and you won't even know you're drinking it."

"Sounds like a foolproof plan."

"You ladies ready to begin anytime soon? We don't have all day."

Avery shoots Jake another glare before flickering her gaze to Ethan – that damn 'never-far-away' smile slipping onto her lips. "Prepare to lose,"

He shakes his head with a small smile and Avery glances over at Lea. "Or maybe we should just let them win. They could use a win."

A faint smirk tugs at Lea's lips as a small appreciative laugh escapes her. "There's the Ave I know and love. Okay, who's up first?"

"Us," Ethan throws the ball into the air once, capturing it in his hand before easily setting it into one of the cups. "Drink up Waters."

♡♡♡

"Okay, give me great energy here Ave."

Snapping her eyes back to Lea, Avery takes her gaze off Ethan and her cheeks warm from the slight alcoholic buzz running through her veins as she lets her lips crack into a smile.

"You could do this in your sleep," She provides, eyes soon flickering back across the table to glare at Jake. "What do you think you're doing covering those cups?"

He rolls his eyes as he sheepishly lifts his hands and Lea rubs her palms together before picking the ball up, easily setting it into one of the three remaining cups on the boys' side of the table. Avery erupts in a loud cheer as Jake sighs, pushing his long locks out of his face as he grabs the cup to down the cheap beer and Ethan catches Avery's gaze again.

"See?" He says. "That's how you're supposed to do it."

Lea's louder than needed from the buzz running through her own veins as she speaks. She's border lining on drunk Lea now – she hugged Avery two cups ago.

"It's called a team for a reason," She narrows her eyes at Ethan before slipping her phone out of her denims. "I do the work and she gets to be a sore winner."

"Yes," Avery says, pressing her lips together once to drown out a hiccup. "Exactly. Besides, I kind of enjoy living it up over here with my number of zero,"

It's an easy enough dig to miss but she's satisfied to see Jake pause, his eyes narrowing as they flicker between Ethan and Avery and her lips twist into a sweet smile as he perches in a seat at the edge of the wooden table. Regarding her flaked nail polish she speaks again.

"Honestly, I'm just looking forward to how once this is over I'll be able to add yet another win to my list."

She doesn't miss the choked sound of Ethan biting back a laugh and upon glancing up she sees him offer up a simple one-shouldered shrug to what she imagines is Jake's 'I can't believe you fucking told her that'-glare. As his dark eyes turn to her she simply mirrors her boyfriend's movement, lifting one of her shoulders in an innocent shrug.

Her smile soon falters as one of the girls who've been watching from the corner of the room gets to her feet and steps up to the table, leaving her group of friends behind. She gently curls her fingers around Ethan's elbow as he prepares his shot at one of the few cups still stood on the table.

"You've got this. I believe in you."

Avery holds back a breath of disbelief but she's certain it's sprawled all over her features, settled in her frown as Ethan flickers his gaze across the table while shrugging the girl off with an easy smile.

The rational inner voice in her mind wills her to give the girl the benefit of the doubt – there's no way she can know Ethan is Avery's boyfriend and she surely wouldn't be all touchy and over him if she'd known he's taken. Right? Ethan is gorgeous. Really, who can blame Ms Long Legs for shooting her shot?

Apparently the slightly buzzed Avery can. Growing more irritated by the second as Ethan carelessly flicks the ball over the table and inevitably misses the cup. His gaze doesn't leave hers even once but the haze covering her eyes does enough to disregard the reassurance in his.

Lea glances up from her phone, lips cracking into a smirk before she resumes to typing. "We can't all be winners."

"Next one E."

Avery's heart beats hard, blood rushing past her ears as she grits her teeth. She swears she hears Jake choke on a laugh and though she knows, somewhere inside of her, there's no rationality behind her next move she grabs the ball from Lea's hand – barely letting it graze her clammy palm before she hurls it to bounce off the tabletop. Before it can hit whatever-her-name-is Ethan catches it in his hand, raising his brows as he takes yet another step closer to Jake.

This time Jake's not quick enough to conceal his laughter – letting it spill out before he coughs once.

"Careful, that could have left a mark," His lips tug into a smirk as he hears the opportunity laced into his own words. "Then again, you do tend to do that don't you?"

Momentarily having her mind taken off the obnoxiously beautiful girl stood closer to Ethan than Avery's been able to ever since setting foot in this house, her eyes narrow – brows etching together before smoothing out in realization as she flickers her eyes between the two boys.

Ethan's eyes flutter shut for a millisecond before shooting his friend another glare. "Would you just kindly shut up?"

♡♡♡

Avery and Lea have barely been back by their friends' side more than a few minutes as Callie's mouth falls wide open at the sound of the beginning beat of the song coming through the speakers. She points her finger to Avery who just laughs, the two of them falling into their slide-step dance the moment Justing Timberlake begins to sing. Downing her drink, Avery hands the cup to Luke and joins Callie in snapping their fingers along the beat of the music and their sliding feet.

Lea shakes her head with a smile, laughing as she slips her phone out to film them. "You're such dorks."

Callie and Avery leave their choreography – the well rehearsed result of many sleepovers, singing to each other while dancing before they grab Lea's phone from her hand, pulling her into it with them just as the chorus begins to play a second time, their laughter slipping through their singing.

Avery doesn't pause to catch her breath until the bridge, her arms lazily thrown around Callie's shoulders as she sways side to side. Her lips break into a smile – warmth completely unrelated to her dancing flushing her skin as she catches Ethan's gaze from where he's stood in one of the doorways to the sitting room. He can't have been here long, she would have noticed. He leans against the frame of the door, an amused quirk to his mouth as he lifts his bottle to his lips and watches her.

She whisper-sings the next few words, smile pulling wider as he doesn't let go of her gaze. "I can see you looking back at me, keep your eyes on me, baby keep your eyes on me. 'Cause I don't want to lose you now, I'm looking right at the other half of me–"

A loud laugh bubbles up her throat as Lea grabs her hand and twirls her around so clumsily her arms feels like it might snap in two, inevitably breaking her eye contact with Ethan.

Another laugh escapes her as she breathes out, "And now it's clear as this promise, that we're making, two reflections into one, 'cause it's like you're my mirror, my mirror staring back at me."

Callie catches her eye, smile widening as she counts them into the next part of the song and their choreography.

♡♡♡

"Oh I forgot! Smell this lotion I bought yesterday."

As Callie hurls a hand awfully close to Avery's face she gently nudges it away, lips twisting into a smile as amusement seeps into her features – she can practically feel her dimple deepen. "Please tell me you haven't been walking around asking people to smell you."

Nic snorts. "She has."

Callie shoots him a glare of the rim of the red plastic cup in her hand. "No I haven't."

"She has." Luke mouths in agreement to Avery from here he has his chin leant atop Lea's head, causing the others to share a light laugh.

They're out on the porch, stood leant against the railing as the salt ocean breeze offers a nice exchange to the clammy heat of the crowded house. Though, the wrap-around porch is just as crowded – the music spilling out through the open doors and windows to the groups lounging around outside.

Avery's eyes travel to where Ethan's stood to the side of the stairs leading down to the beach with Rhea and Matthew, pressing her lops together to hide her smile as he shoots her a glance. The smugness dancing across his features as he turns his attention back to his friends tells her she's been caught trailing her eyes over him and her smile widens. Letting her gaze linger a moment longer, she watches him push a hand through his hair before she eventually averts her gaze back to her friends.

Her lips quirk against the rim of her cup as she catches the mischievous glimmer in Lea's eye. "What?"

The girl wiggles her eyebrows, leaning back against Luke's chest. "Sam Dawson is totally checking you out."

"What?" Avery quickly flickers her eyes over her shoulder at the boy in question before flickering it to Ethan still wrapped up in conversation with his friends before settling back on Lea. "No he's not."

"Uh-huh," Lea takes a drink of Luke's cup before handing it back. "Totally is. You should go talk to him."

"No."

"It'll be fun! Go flirt a little. Flirting is fun."

"I know flirting is fun," She feels her cheeks heat as she sips on her drink. "Still a no."

"You don't have to marry the guy! Just go over there, have fun!" Lea wiggles her brows again. "Maybe make out a little."

Avery coughs on her drink and Callie wraps her arm around her, shooting Lea a sweet smile. "Sorry Leandra but Ave and I simply enjoy being inexperienced besties too much for that to happen."

Avery shoots the girl a grateful smile before nodding. "Yeah, what Cal said."

"Oh come on!" Lea flings her arms out in exasperation. "Have you even kissed anyone since that disastrous thing with Nic last year?"

As on cue the other four fake gag at the aforementioned drunken mishap.

"And here I thought you said that's not how you greet your friends."

Callie's fingers dig into her side – a chortled breath echoing into her cup – as Ethan and his friends choose that exact moment to walk past them. Avery squeezes her eyes shut, cheeks positively burning as her skin flushes – feeling the warmth prickle every inch as she bats them back open to glance over her shoulder at Ethan with a small shake of her head.

He drops into a seat next to Jake on a sun chair, pure amusement crossing his features as his gaze meets hers before he throws his head back in a laugh at something his friend says. Involuntarily her lips twitch before she turns her attention back to her friends and their quizzical looks.

"What was that about?"

Avery waves a dismissive hand at Luke's question, sipping her drink. "Nothing. It's dumb."

She steps out of Callie's embrace, nudging the girl in the side to stop her from pouring her drink down her throat without pause as she rounds her to lean back against the railing.

"So, about Dawson–"

"No."

"Making out is fun!"

"Trust me, I'm aware."

♡♡♡

The conversation between her friends melt into background noise – Lea having given up on her matchmaking attempts for the night – as something out of the corner of her eye catches her attention. The voices of rationality and irrationality drown each other out in her head as she flickers her gaze towards the outdoor seating group where another girl is all over Ethan. He keeps her at a friendly distance but it doesn't do much to keep her doe-eyed gaze at bay.

Noticing her distracted state of mind, Callie too flickers her eyes towards the group before managing to catch Avery's eye with a small shake of her head and a smile. Just then, Ethan pushes to his feet only to round Jake and drop into a seat on his opposite side.

Callie's lips twitches against her cup as she mouths, "See?"

Avery smiles too, the voice of rationality keeping both her feet planted on the ground as lea wraps her arms around herself, suppressing a small yawn.

"Is anyone else cold? I'm cold."

"Yeah," Nic says, jumping out of his seat on the railing. "Let's head back inside."

Clutching her cup, Avery lets her friends lead the way across the porch – Lea, Nic and Luke already about to step inside the house again as she and Callie walk past the group lounged around the outdoor furniture. The two girls almost make their way into the house without causing a scene. Almost.

A surge of bitterness runs through Avery as the aforementioned girl laughs, leaning across Jake to place her palm on Ethan's arm. Before she knows it she causes herself to trip over Callie's foot, the remains of her drink splashing out over the rim of her cup and spilling all over Ms Girlie's striped sweater.

That's when the guilt kicks in.

"Shit I'm so sorry," She breathes out and thankfully Callie pushes her out of the way, pulling out a somewhat crumpled Beans & Bagels napkin from the pocket of her trousers and hands it to the girl. "I'm such a klutz."

The girl dabs at the splotched sweater. "It's fine."

Avery parts her lips to apologize again and she notices Jake lifting his hand to his lips to muffle a laugh but before she has the chance to say anything else Callie nudges her back into motion, forcing her to move past the group and into the house.

♡♡♡

They've barely stepped inside before she feels a palm on her low back, it's warmth radiating through her dress and she presses her lips together as another wave of guilt washes over her. Eyes flickering to her friends' retreating figures before she falls back slightly against it.

Ethan's breath tickles her ear, his voice low as he asks, "Can we talk?"

She doesn't particularly want to discuss her juvenile behavior but she nods nonetheless, letting him easily guide her through the next two rooms. They try a door only to find it locked and she sighs, heading into the kitchen which they find to be empty for now at least.

Silence falls between them, the only sounds surrounding them the ones scattered from around the house – the cheers from the pong table, music spilling through the speakers, different conversations drowning each other out on the porch.

Propping herself up in a seat at the white marble counter, she taps her fingers against her bare leg as she keeps her gaze anywhere but at Ethan.

Eventually he sighs. "Okay, what is this?"

"What is what?"

Still reluctant to speak of her own stupidity she presses her lips together and scratches at her glittery nail polish, only lifting her gaze as he walks over to her. He glances across the room to make sure no one's around before letting his palm fall to her knee, his eyes searching hers.

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled to hear your friends talk about your potential make out partners either."

"That was just Lea–"

"No, she was right – he was checking you out. But at least I didn't pour a drink over him. Or any of the others."

Avery's lips quirk up, eyes narrowing in disbelief. "Others?"

His fingers play with the hem of her dress as he shoots her a tired look. "How oblivious are you?"

"Not oblivious. Simply been busy watching you."

"Now that's a lie," His lips tug upwards. "If anything you've been busy spilling drinks over unsuspecting girls–"

"Girl," She corrects. "Don't flatter yourself."

"And," He punctuates the word by pointing his finger into her dimple, having her lips pull into an involuntary smile. "Trying to knock Maia out with a ping-pong ball."

"Poor Maia."

"You're jealous."

She huffs, crossing her arms as his laugh brings one out of her too. "Am not."

"You are," His eyes flicker across the kitchen again before interlacing their fingers, squeezing once. "You don't have to be."

"I know. That's not–"

She flutters her eyes shut as she's overcome with that surge of bitterness again, swallowing back the taste of it on her tongue as she leans her head back against the pristine white cupboards. Exhaling a deep breath she ponders the quite clear thoughts of her mind, considering her next words. She presses her lips together as she meets his gaze again.

"It's not that they're flirting with you – it's that they can. They can laugh at your jokes and they can touch you and they can smile with you and–" Cutting herself off, she heaves a sigh. "And no one bats an eye. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," He nudges her knees apart to stand between them and she smiles as she lifts her free hand to sprawl her fingers through his dark curls. "Maybe just... don't pour drinks over people."

A small laugh escapes her and she feigns a small smirk. "Maybe I should just kiss that guy Lea went on about – smooth over the fact I just caused a scene over you."

"As hell you aren't. You're mine."

He shoots her an equally tired as amused look as she laughs again. "So possessive."

"Says the one who fucking branded me,"

Her lips split into a grin as he pulls at the neck of his t-shirt, a chortled breath escaping her as she lets her fingers fall from his hair to the small purplish bruise – the pads of her fingertips cold against his skin as she lets them trail it's shape.

"Don't you look proud?"

She flickers her eyes back to his, her smile falling into a more sincere purse of her mouth as the beat of her heart drops deeper into her chest. "I'm telling them. My friends. I want to tell them about us."

Alarm flashes across Ethan's face. "Right now?"

"No. Not right now," She lets her fingers linger on his neck a moment longer, wishing she could kiss him but it seems an unnecessary daring thing to do when whoever could walk in at any second. "But I'm telling them. Soon. Because this fucking sucks."

"Could you like... give me some time to flee the country?"

A chortle crossing into a sigh leaves her lips at the joke and she twirls one of his short curls around her finger as she shakes her head with a small smile. "You're lucky I lo-ike you."

His lips twitches, matching the gleam to his dark eyes – as well as the slight tint to his cheeks – and she knows he heard her but he's kind enough to ignore the almost-slip of her tongue. "Very."

He punctuates the word by brushing his thumb over her cheek and her gaze flickers across the kitchen, dipping her head to the side to stop herself from kissing him.

"Speaking of my friends," She says, reluctantly giving him a gentle push to the chest to let her down from her seat. "I should go."

He holds her in her place a second longer. "I meant what I said before, and I know it's not about that but I want you to know you have nothing to worry about. All I see is you."

She opens her mouth only to close it again, swallowing as an unexpected light flutter fills her chest and bounces up her throat. Nodding, she smiles. "I do know. I–, yeah."

♡♡♡

'that god-awful son of my boss'

are you still with your friends?

no <3

can i call? <3

Avery's lips curl into a smile as the incoming FaceTime call flashes on her screen just as her second text is sent. She slides her thumb over the screen, realizing as his face pops up on the screen that she's buried between pillows and she attempts to straighten up in a seat without making too much of a fuss.

She runs her hand through her hair in the hope of making herself look a bit more presentable. "Hi."

From the way his lips twitch she knows he noticed her shifting around but he lets it slide without a remark, simply stretching an arm over his head with a small yawn which has her yawning too. "Hi."

A beat of comfortable silence passes between them, neither feeling the need to fill the space with conversation but then his brows knit together – that crease appearing on his forehead and she finds herself wishing he was here with her so she could press her thumb to it. Wanting to smooth it back out.

Propping the phone up against one of her pillows she scoots back onto the mattress and tucks her melted together palms under her head. "What are you thinking about?"

"Dad,"

Her gaze doesn't leave him as she carefully shifts on the mattress, lifting herself up a bit on her arms. It's the first time he's ever truly brought his father up around her. They've occasionally breezed past him in conversation when he's happened to come up, like where he went to school since they've reached out to Ethan too or what team he played for after being drafted since the article clipping on Ethan's wall tells of it – but this is new.

She waits, not wanting to prod him unless he wants to further expand on the one-worded response but she can't help how she automatically straightens up as if trying to radiate her attentiveness through the screen.

There is so much of him, right there at her finger tips. Right beneath the surface of the wall sometimes shadowing him – so close but yet so unattainable to her.

She hasn't wanted to push for more than he's ready to give but at the same time she can't help to want to know. Can't help wanting to know what the deep end of his mind looks like. She wants to know him, every inch of him. And she wishes he was here.

Wishes he was walking his fingers over her skin while pondering his thoughts aloud. Wishes he was here to press a kiss to her lips as she's about to doze off to sleep.

His lips twist into a faint smile before they fall back into a solemn line and he pushes a hand through his already disheveled hair.

"Do you think we can remember things from when we were really young? Like before it should be possible to do so?"

She stays silent, considering the question for a beat as she drags her lip between her teeth. "Yeah. I mean, yeah."

"Do you? Have memories like that?"

Hesitating, she falls silent again. The last thing she wants to do is turn the spotlight around on herself. Not when he's finally, though slowly, opening up about the things she's been too afraid to ask about. Still, there's a sincerity to his expression and she realizes her response is equally as important to him as his words are to her.

"Not that many but a few. There's this really vivid one," She says and as he nods she goes on. "We used to go to the beach. Had one of those big dumb umbrellas – the rainbow colored ones you know? And we'd just spend the days there, eating ice cream, playing in the sand. Dad would go swim and he'd take me with him – I couldn't swim, obviously but he'd hold onto me and then he'd set me down on my mom's back. I found it really funny when she'd squeal from the cold water. Just the three of us. On the beach."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah."

She's certain those days is what had her falling in love with the coastal town she calls home. They're probably also why she's sometimes overcome by the impulse to slice a knife through every rainbow colored sunshade she happens to stumble across. It's an equally fond as hurtful memory of the days when everything was fine – when she was still enough – and she has to force a breath down her lungs now. But this isn't about her.

No, this is about Ethan.

"I guess I just wonder what's real," He falls back onto his mattress, taking her with him as he props himself up in a seat against the wall – holding his phone out in front of him. "If the things I remember about my dad are actual memories or if they're just fragments of what I've been told about him. It would be nice to know something's just mine and not something that's been influenced by someone's words or derived from a photo or – I don't know."

Avery swallows back a lump in her throat, blinking away the haze prickling her eyes. She wishes she could be there with him. Wishes she could be propped up like she is right now but on his mattress instead of hers, have him at her fingertips. Her words are softly spoken as she says, "I think that makes sense."

"I know all of these things about him but I just wish I... knew him. I wonder what he'd think of–" He cuts himself off, a short beat of silence passing before he sighs. "Everything I guess. Of me."

"Well," Avery suppress a small yawn. "I may be biased in your favor but I think he thinks you are really amazing. And like, the kindest soul. A very easy person to be proud of."

His lips tug up and her chest constricts at the sight, warming her from inside out. He scoots down on his mattress, turning on his side. "Did you mean what you said today? About telling your friends?"

"Yes," She hugs her pillow close to her as she slides down further beneath her comforter. "I'm tired of acting like I can't stand you when all I want is to be around you," She pauses, considering her conversation with Callie in the school hallway earlier this afternoon. He knows. Because you let him in. "You know more about me than anyone else."

He smiles at her words, spoken softly as an afterthought – the glow to his cheeks brightening and she smiles too.

"How do you think it'll go?"

"I'm not sure. Good. I hope, if I just figure out how to go about it," Avery suppresses a yawn. "But with how tonight went it's time I do – the last thing we need is someone putting the pieces together and telling them before I get the chance to."

He nods, cheeks tightening with his smile as he presses his lips together. "I don't have to be there, do I?"

"No," She laughs, a big yawn escaping her. "No definitely not."

"Go to bed."

"I'm already in bed."

Ethan laughs softly. "Then go to sleep."

"But I want to talk to you."

"Sleep."

"No. Don't you dare hang up on me."

"I'd never hang up on you," Through her sleepy haze, trying to keep her drooping eyelids open she notices his lips quirk into a faint smirk. "I lo-ike you too much."

"Oh shut up."

She dozes off to the sound of Ethan's throaty laugh, lips settling into that 'never-far-away' smile even in her sleep.