Chapter 50: Chapter 50

AVA

When they saved me, all they brought home was an empty shell. My heart? Broken. My soul? Shredded.

Everything that had been alive in me remained in this dungeon, in these dark walls where Abaddon had made me his plaything.

He ripped me apart. Bit by bit. Each time more brutally, until there was nothing left of me—until I was nothing but a trembling, bloody thing, whimpering for mercy.

“Please... please, stop,” I pleaded.

But even then... Even then, he didn’t stop.

He enjoyed it. Every scream. Every look of despair.

Every moment when I thought... Now it must be over. He can’t do it anymore. Yet he could. And he did it.

Sometimes, when I woke up in the night, I could still feel his hands on me. His breathing.

The sadistic whispers in my ear as he slowly, methodically drove me insane.

I screamed until my voice broke. I bled until I thought I was going to run dry.

And yet... I kept on living.

Why? Why did I have to survive that? Why did I bear these scars that no one could see, but that made every breath a torture?

A part of me would forever remain in this dungeon—trapped in the memory of what he did to me.

And sometimes... Sometimes I wished they had never found me.

These had been my thoughts for too long. The desire to die. Salvation from the agony.

And it seemed to become more and more.

Not only did I have to get over the abuse, but also over my father’s death.

He went to war because of me. He sacrificed himself for me.

It was my fault he was dead.

And yet deep down, I knew that Father didn’t doubt for a second. He did it with conviction.

So that I could live, but still I longed for death for too long.

I cried... partly because of what had happened... partly because of my father’s death.

The grief within me squeezed my heart. As if there was no room for anything else in my body.

I sat in my room for a very long time, just wanting to be alone. Everyone who came to me was a threat.

The attempts to cure me were useless. But Bael was stubborn.

He wouldn’t let go, pulling on the mate bond again and again. Always talking to me.

He didn’t hide his feelings anymore. Instead, he made me feel everything. Every one of his thoughts...

And I almost fell into complete darkness. Until I felt him give up.

For too long, he talked to himself. Without a reply. He showed me all of his feelings for too long.

He didn’t think I wanted him anymore.

The mate bond was so weak, and yet he still managed to get through.

But when I realized I could never hear his voice again if I allowed it, he became my only glimmer of hope.

If he hadn’t talked to me, I would probably have been just like Avery. If he hadn’t been so rebellious, I would have continued to long for death.

I surprised myself by crawling out of bed and opening the door to my room.

He rose from the floor so quickly, his arms wrapped around me.

I found comfort in this embrace. For a fraction of a second, all the weight had fallen from my shoulders.

I glanced briefly at Iris and Devas. Their concerned faces, the pain in their eyes, before I pulled Bael into the room.

As soon as the door closed behind him, panic began to set in.

Why did I do that... Why on earth?

“Let me help you,” Bael pleaded.

“Did you know that Abaddon was your sire?” I asked him coldly.

The tone of my voice surprised even me. It was as if I hadn’t heard it for years.

Bael glared at me. He didn’t know it.

But he didn’t realize the disgusting things I’d been through.

“Go,” I said to him, turning away from him.

I could still sense his presence. His massive form was visible in the reflection of the window.

He didn’t go. He remained rooted to the spot.

“Take off your guard... let me help you,” he pleaded.

“If you could read my mind now... I don’t think you would ever want me as your mate,” I replied.

He moved like a shadow, so quietly yet noticeably.

I didn’t even need to turn around. His body was tangibly behind me.

“You will go mad if I let you in,” I explained in a whisper.

“If loving you is madness... then let me lose my mind completely, Ava,” he replied.

I shook my head, the tears stinging my eyes. How could I do that... he would see everything.

“Please,” he whispered.

His breath brushed gently over my shoulder, and the goosebumps I felt from this gentle touch made me shiver.

“Look at me, Bael... I am broken... and I am weak,” I began, crying.

“I don’t care about that. I’ll heal you,” he interjected.

“And you would be ashamed to have me as your mate... and,” I continued.

“I love you, Ava,” Bael interrupted me.

I froze at his words, and the heaviness inside me seemed to disappear for a moment.

“From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has passed when I haven’t thought of you. From the first time I saw you I was hopelessly in love with you. Nothing can change those feelings,” I heard him say.

I turned to face him. His eyes met mine.

I could sense that it was the truth.

“Why did you reject me?” I asked, crying.

He shook his head, tears in his beautiful eyes.

“I thought... if I stayed away from you... I would protect you,” he explained.

His low voice sounded rough as he spoke. I could sense how much this hurt him.

“I don’t blame you,” I said, looking over his face.

Bael’s eyes widened in surprise as he realized that I had let my guard down and was opening up to him.

His face suddenly changed, from one of surprise to a broken one.

The more he looked through my thoughts, the heavier the weight which seemed to crush him.

I watched his tears flow, a single one at first... followed by so many I couldn’t count them.

He knew it... he knew everything.

He knew what Abaddon did. He knew what Abaddon was for me.

And he knew what he was to himself.

I turned away from him, willing to hear his rejection.

But I gasped when I felt his arms around me. Bael pulled me close, holding me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

Then I heard his whimpering as he began to cry loudly.

We stood there for a long time just hugging, holding each other... and crying.

“Don’t think like that,” he whispered.

Perhaps he would be better off if he rejected me.

But the mere thought of it made him immediately look into my eyes.

“If it’s not you…it can’t be anyone. If it’s not your touch, I don’t need it… If it’s not your love, I don’t want it… I want to spend my life with you… Please, Ava,” he said through tears.

My lips trembled uncontrollably as I heard him say this.

“Let me help you,” he said quietly.

All I could do was nod in response.

His embrace was so warm, so full of the love I could feel inside him. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent before his shadows enveloped me.

The black fog around us swirled so fast that I held on to him. Bit by bit…he banished the horrible images from my mind.

I knew I would never again have the memories before my eyes. Never be reminded again of what Abaddon had done.

It would be locked away in the far corner of my memory, like a nightmare you know you had…but can’t remember.

My legs gave way, but Bael held me tightly. The weight of the images in my head must have sapped his strength too, and we fell to our knees, our foreheads pressed together.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

All I could think about at that moment was the long-awaited kiss I was about to receive.

I pressed my lips to his, the taste of Bael causing me to moan as we passionately drew closer together.

“I can wait…” he said between kisses.

But at that moment I didn’t know why he would do that.

I was like a newborn, weightless, completely in love with him.

“I want it,” I replied, pressing him to the ground.

His doubts filtered through to me and I stopped undressing him for a second. He just watched me, but I knew this was a new beginning.

He had freed me from my torment, locked it away for good. So why should I wait for anything else?

The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile when he read my thoughts. I loved him so much…so much it hurt.

“Take this pain away from me,” I whispered.

His pupils dilated as he smelled my desire.

“I’m sure of it,” I said, before he could ask his question.

All the bad memories I had were replaced with beautiful ones. Our naked bodies on the floor… his rhythmic thrusts made my whole body tremble.

And the climax I experienced with him… thousands of little stars spinning around me while his black mist danced around us.

He was mine… and I belonged to him. Completely. Perfect.

But then Avery banished him. He tore us apart, leaving only longing and emptiness inside me.

I knew that Iris would understand. She would take me with her. Because just like me, she was prepared to go beyond boundaries for the man she loved.

And we just stared at the portal that Jade had opened for us. There was no turning back.

She took my hand as we walked through it together. She was willing to fight for love just like I was.

Even if we died trying. Even if we were locked in this hell for all eternity.

~I’m coming, Bael… I’m coming, my love. And if it’s the last thing I’ll do…~