The ceiling is fading in and out of focus.
My head is heavy, my vision is blurry, my heart is strained. There is a distinct flavor of panic lodged somewhere underneath my tongue and Iâm fighting to remember where it came from. I try to sit up and canât understand why I was lying down.
Someoneâs hands are on my shoulders.
âHow are you feeling?â Warner is peering down at me.
Suddenly my memories are burning in my eyes and Jenkinsâ face is swimming in my consciousness and Iâm swinging my fists and screaming for Warner to get away from me and struggling to wriggle out of his grip but he just smiles. Laughs a little. Gentles my hands down beside my torso.
âWell, at least youâre awake,â he sighs. âYou had me worried for a moment.â
I try to control my trembling limbs. âGet your hands away from me.â
He waves sheathed fingers in front of my face. âIâm all covered up. Donât worry.â
âI hate you.â
âSo much passion.â He laughs again. He looks so calm, so genuinely amused. He stares at me with eyes softer than I ever expected them to be.
I turn away.
He stands up. Takes a short breath. âHere,â he says, reaching for a tray on a small table. âI brought you food.â
I take advantage of the moment to sit up and look around. Iâm lying on a bed draped in damask golds and burgundies the darkest shade of blood. The floor is covered in thick, rich carpet the color of a setting summer sun. Itâs warm in this room. Itâs the same size as the one I occupy, its furniture standard enough: bed, armoire, side tables, chandelier glittering from the ceiling. The only difference is thereâs an extra door in this room and thereâs a candle burning quietly on a small table in the corner. I havenât seen fire in so many years Iâve lost count. I have to stifle an impulse to reach out and touch the flame.
I prop myself up against the pillows and try to pretend Iâm not comfortable. âWhere am I?â
Warner turns around holding a plate with bread and cheese on it. His other hand is gripping a glass of water. He looks around the room as if seeing it for the first time. âThis is my bedroom.â
If my head werenât splitting into pieces Iâd be tempted to run. âTake me to my own room. I donât want to be here.â
âAnd yet, here you are.â He sits at the foot of the bed, a few feet away. Pushes the plate in front of me. âAre you thirsty?â
I donât know if itâs because I canât think straight or if itâs because Iâm genuinely confused, but Iâm struggling to reconcile Warnerâs polarizing personalities. Here he is, offering me a glass of water after he forced me to torture someone. I lift my hands and study my fingers as if Iâve never seen them before. âI donât understand.â
He cocks his head, inspecting me as though I mightâve seriously injured myself. âI only asked if you were thirsty. That shouldnât be difficult to understand.â A pause. âDrink this.â
I take the glass. Stare at it. Stare at him. Stare at the walls.
I must be insane.
Warner sighs. âIâm not sure, but I think you fainted. And I think you should probably eat something, though Iâm not entirely sure about that, either.â He pauses. âYouâve probably had too much exertion your first day here. My mistake.â
âWhy are you being nice to me?â
The surprise on his face surprises me even more. âBecause I care about you,â he says simply.
âYou care about me?â The numbness in my body is beginning to dissipate. My blood pressure is rising and anger is making its way to the forefront of my consciousness. âI almost killed Jenkins because of you!â
âYou didnât killââ
âYour soldiers beat me! You keep me here like a prisoner! You threaten me! You threaten to kill me! You give me no freedom and you say you care about me?â I nearly throw the glass of water at his face. âYou are a monster!â
Warner turns away so Iâm staring at his profile. He clasps his hands. Changes his mind. Touches his lips. âI am only trying to help you.â
âLiar.â
He seems to consider that. Nods, just once. âYes. Most of the time, yes.â
âI donât want to be here. I donât want to be your experiment. Let me go.â
âNo.â He stands up. âIâm afraid I canât do that.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause I canât. I justââ He tugs at his fingers. Clears his throat. His eyes touch the ceiling for a brief moment. âBecause I need you.â
âYou need me to kill people!â
He doesnât answer right away. He walks to the candle. Pulls off a glove. Tickles the flame with his bare fingers. âYou know, I am very capable of killing people on my own, Juliette. Iâm actually very good at it.â
âThatâs disgusting.â
He shrugs. âHow else do you think someone my age is able to control so many soldiers? Why else would my father allow me to take charge of an entire sector?â
âYour father?â I sit up, suddenly curious in spite of myself.
He ignores my question. âThe mechanics of fear are simple enough. People are intimidated by me, so they listen when I speak.â He waves a hand. âEmpty threats are worth very little these days.â
I squeeze my eyes shut. âSo you kill people for power.â
âAs do you.â
âHow dare youââ
He laughs, loud. âYouâre free to lie to yourself, if it makes you feel better.â
âI am not lyingââ
âWhy did it take you so long to break your connection with Jenkins?â
My mouth freezes in place.
âWhy didnât you fight back right away? Why did you allow him to touch you for as long as he did?â
My hands have begun to shake and I grip them, hard. âYou donât know anything about me.â
âAnd yet you claim to know me so well.â
I clench my jaw, not trusting myself to speak.
âAt least Iâm honest,â he adds.
âYou just agreed youâre a liar!â
He raises his eyebrows. âAt least Iâm honest about being a liar.â
I slam the glass of water on the side table. Drop my head in my hands. Try to stay calm. Take a steadying breath. âWell,â I rasp, âwhy do you need me, then? If youâre such an excellent murderer?â
A smile flickers and fades across his face. âOne day Iâll introduce you to the answer to that question.â
I try to protest but he stops me with one hand. Picks up a piece of bread from the plate. Holds it under my nose. âYou hardly ate anything at dinner. That canât possibly be healthy.â
I donât move.
He drops the bread on the plate and drops the plate beside the water. Turns to me. Studies my eyes with such intensity Iâm momentarily disarmed. There are so many things I want to say and scream but somehow Iâve forgotten all about the words waiting patiently in my mouth. I canât make myself look away.
âEat something.â His eyes abandon me. âThen go to sleep. Iâll be back for you in the morning.â
âWhy canât I sleep in my own room?â
He gets to his feet. Dusts off his pants for no real reason. âBecause I want you to stay here.â
âBut why?â
He barks out a laugh. âSo many questions.â
âWell if youâd give me a straight answerââ
âGood night, Juliette.â
âAre you going to let me go?â I ask, this time quietly, this time timidly.
âNo.â He takes 6 steps into the corner with the candle. âAnd I wonât promise to make things easier for you, either.â There is no regret, no remorse, no sympathy in his voice. He could be talking about the weather.
âYou could be lying.â
âYes, I could be.â He nods, as if to himself. Blows out the candle.
And disappears.
I try to fight it I try to stay awake I try to find my head but I canât.
I collapse from sheer exhaustion.