Chapter 187 lan burst into the room, his usual composure shattered by a storm of emotions. With reckless abandon, he wrapped his arms around Cara, holding her close as if she were his lifeline.
His voice trembled betraying a pain that words could hardly express. âClara, please, just give me one more chance. I swear Iâll do right by you this time. I wonât let you down again, I promise. Can we try again?â
He had always camed himself with an air of arrogance, as if he were untouchable. For him, uttering an apology was more challenging than scaling Everest. And yet, there he was, clutching Clara tightly, his eyes glossy with unshed tears, pleading with her to grant him another shot at redemption.
Clara bit her lip hard, as though to fortify herself against the onslaught of emotions threatening to overflow. She struggled to steady her voice. âTan, you have no idea how alone I felt when Heidi came back from abroad. How many times did your phone ring and youâd leave me behind without a second thought? Even when I needed you the most, you were by her side. Time and again, I compromised. I broke my own rules to give you another chance. But when I realized that what we had was more of a physical thing rather than a heartfelt connection, something inside me died.â
âThree years ago, I rushed to your side with a heart full of romantic fantasies about love, disregarding the opposition of those around me and giving up everything. Youâll never know the kind of fervor it was, but in the end, this fiery passion I felt only resulted in your choosing others over me time and time again.
âlan, even the deepest love canât survive constant disappointment and hurt. At some point, a person has to choose selfâ
preservation. I canât go through that pain again. I just want a simple, stable life. Please, let me go. Letâs set each other free and not interfere in each otherâs lives anymore.â
Her voice was calm and clear, devoid of any emotional turbulence, but to lan, her words were like countless daggers aimed straight at his heart.
He could detect the finality in Claraâs tone, and the stillness in her demeanor. What kind of hurt had her heart endured for her to be calm and let go of her onceâdearest love?
lan closed his eyes in anguish, the sting in his throat making it nearly impossible to speak. It felt like an eternity before he managed to utter in a hoarse whisper, âClara, if I let go of Heidi, would you consider giving us another chance?â
Her response was indifferent âlan, the problem between us isnât Heidi. Itâs you. If you truly loved me, you wouldnât have doubted my intentions. If you truly loved me, you wouldnât have abandoned me. Our story has always been about you leaving me behind, not the other way around, hasnât it?â
From the moment she called him after her miscarriage and he accused her of being unreasonable, he had already abandoned her. She had tried to pick herself up and keep pace with him, but his seemingly unintentional wounds had pushed her into an abyss.
Those painful memories were something Clara could never forget.
Gently, she extricated herself from lanâs embrace, walked to the door, and opened it, her gaze impassive as she stared at him.
âPlease leave, lan, and donât come back. Iâve decided to be with Anders, and it wouldnât be fair to himâor to meâto have any more ties with you.
lanâs face turned ashen, his eyes bloodshot as he looked at her. Desperately, he searched her face for a trace of sorrow, or a shred of reluctance to let go, but all he found was peace and acceptance. There was not a single ripple of emotion, and that was what cut him the deepest Just as Chase had once wamed him, when a woman decides to leave, it is final.